Okay,
Welcome back to the Spiritual Recalibration Series.
Thank you for embarking on this series and opening yourself to a new way of being.
My name is David,
And this is Session 28,
I Complete Me.
Find a comfortable seat in a space where you can allow yourself 20 minutes or so,
Undistracted,
To focus just on you.
A quick reminder,
To get the most out of this series,
Please be sure you've listened to the Welcome Session,
Session Zero.
Here we go.
That was a little silly earlier,
Saying that you complete me.
But that's the topic.
You guys remember,
For any of you who saw the movie Jerry Maguire,
That's that culminating scene at the end with Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger,
Where you complete me.
I was just talking about this with some folks yesterday about those romantic comedies,
Kind of the romance movies in general,
And teenage romance.
If you had a teenage love,
That maybe eventually fizzled out as 99.
9% of all teenage.
.
.
Oh,
Maybe it's not that high,
Maybe it's 98%,
I don't know.
The theme here is how we look to something external to ourselves to fill something in that we feel needs to be filled,
That we long to have filled.
I was remembering,
I think it was probably the first coach who I actually paid money to,
As opposed to a friend or a family member who was giving me some good advice.
I remember I was speaking to him about.
.
.
When we were first getting acquainted,
That I had learned to meditate years before,
And I had become certified to teach meditation,
And I practiced yoga,
And all these wonderful fancy stuff that I thought was wonderful to share with this consciousness coach.
In our conversations,
At some point,
He shared with me that,
It occurs to me that your meditation and your yoga is that there's a seeking to be made whole there.
So what sort of,
And that's okay,
But what sort of.
.
.
There are many practices and things we can do to seek out that wholeness.
Certainly someone else can't do that for us,
Right?
We love to do this in our relationships,
Especially our intimate relationships,
Where we see something over there,
And we think that can complete us,
And another person can't do that,
And that's a heck of a responsibility to put on them.
So I was reading a while back,
And I'm going to invite you to try something with me,
And it's going to.
.
.
If you've never done it before,
It's going to feel a little hokey,
So a little warning here.
Who knows?
Maybe you've done it before.
Maybe we've done it before.
I don't remember,
But I was reading Gay Hendricks is an author and a teacher,
A coach,
Who I've mentioned before,
Who I've read a little bit by.
So just check this out,
Ready?
So close your eyes gently,
And I'm going to say these words a few times,
And after I say them,
You say them.
You can just say them.
Everything's on mute here,
So just say it.
You can say it in a very quiet voice so only you can hear it,
Ready?
I love myself.
I love myself.
I love myself.
Good job.
You can open your eyes if you like or keep them closed.
So I remember this,
The first time I sat down and tried that,
I had all those same thoughts like,
Really?
How do I do that?
And I remember reading in the practice about how that's considered arrogant.
I love myself,
Really?
So that's kind of all of that resistance that we have,
That mental noise about really,
I don't know.
It seems that we're really good at loving others,
Really good at loving our kids,
Loving our friends,
Loving our brothers and sisters.
But turning that toward ourself,
Which really is what we're meant to do,
Feels a little funny.
So we're going to do a practice here.
We'll use an affirmation practice and see if we can get into this a little bit.
But really,
Once we start getting that it's actually our job to love ourselves,
And when we start to do that,
When we start to learn how to do that,
And we feel that,
And we start to sense that feeling of self-love,
Well,
Now we can really start to extend that love outward in a real way,
In a fulfilled way,
In a way that asks nothing of those who we love,
Those who we're extending it to.
But it requires,
This has just been my experience,
It requires becoming a little bit selfish,
At least initially.
At least it may feel that way,
Initially,
Treating yourself kindly,
Making,
I mentioned,
I think it might have even been in the last session,
Talking about choosing to go to the park,
To go for a walk in the woods with my sister,
Instead of all this stuff I thought I was,
That I had on my mind to accomplish and complete.
That was a choice,
And that was,
That's an example of self-love,
Learning to allow yourself to heal what wants to be healed,
Giving yourself the time and the space for healing,
Learning how to treat yourself kindly and sweetly,
With compassion,
Understand,
Understanding,
You know,
Understanding with compassion why some of the stuff that you wish you hadn't done,
You did,
Or that thing you said,
Starting to,
All the ways that we are unkind to ourselves,
Sometimes hard on ourselves,
Learning to lighten that stuff.
Again,
It seems to come much more easily to extend that stuff,
That beautiful stuff outward.
It's much more,
Much more challenging to point it toward yourself.
But there is,
I don't know,
It's,
There is a bit of a,
A coming home when we learn to do that.
And if it felt a little weird saying I love myself,
It does start to feel less weird.
It takes some practice.
So let's try that a little bit.
Yeah.
All right,
So you place your feet flat on the floor,
If you're sitting in a chair,
And close down the eyelids gently,
Eyes soft behind the eyelids,
With a gentle gaze upward toward the point between the eyebrows.
No straining of the gaze,
It's just a gentle upward glance.
Sit up nice and tall with a nice straight spine.
Place something behind your low back if you like to feel some support there so you can feel like you're sitting upright.
Spine is long.
Shoulder blades drawn together gently.
Good.
Allow the breath to flow naturally.
Going into this affirmation now.
Just allow,
Allow yourself to follow along with the words.
Allow yourself to follow along with the words.
And then once you begin to memorize them,
Feel free to say them out loud.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
Continuing now,
Tuning into the feeling behind the words.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
Now in a slightly softer voice,
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
Just in a whisper,
I love myself.
Inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
And now,
If you were saying out loud,
Just in your mind,
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
I love myself inside and out,
Without condition.
As I relax into this love,
I am whole.
I am whole.
Now letting the affirmation go,
But staying with the feeling behind it for just a few moments.
Good.
Begin to notice your breath.
See if you can find the spot in your nostrils where the air is passing.
Allow yourself to focus on your breath,
To watch it.
Just a minute or two.
Coming back once again to your breath.
Allowing yourself to be just as you are.
Allowing your thoughts to come and go now.
Returning over and over again to your breath.
Knowing that you've made a good choice,
A kind choice,
To spend this time on yourself.
Cultivating your own peace of mind.
Your own peace.
Take an intentional inhale through your nose,
And then exhale through your mouth.
Don't have to watch the breath anymore.
For just another moment or two,
Allow yourself to stay here.
In this space that you've created.
A space to whatever extent you feel peace,
You feel love,
You feel ease.
Allow yourself to be here.
Good.
Really good.
Take an intentional inhale through your nose again,
And then exhale.
Prepare to come back to the space where you are.
And when you're ready,
You can open up your eyes,
Or stay here for as long as you like.
