Hello my friend,
And welcome.
Thank you for joining me in this meditation to blow off steam.
My name is Kalyani.
And I'm so happy to bring you a practice to use when life gets you angry.
We've all been there.
It's a normal response to perceived threats,
Injustices,
And frustration.
And while it's possible for our anger to motivate positive change,
Chronic or uncontrollable anger requires us to look at what is happening to look for tools to get it under control.
When we are angry,
We cannot think straight.
We end up reacting from an agitated state.
Instead of responding from a clear and grounded understanding.
That is what we will focus on today.
So please find a place where you will not be disturbed.
A space where you feel free to breathe deeply,
And possibly make some noise.
Then,
Find a comfortable position for your body.
Sitting comfortably,
Whatever that means to you.
Gazing down towards the floor with soft eyes or if it's comfortable,
Invite your eyes to close.
And begin to simply notice your breath moving in and out of your body.
No need to change a thing.
Simply observe your breath in this moment.
Is it moving in and out of your nose or mouth?
Explore the difference between the temperature of your inhale compared to the temperature of the exhale.
Where is the bottom of your breath right now?
Is it possible to fill up your lungs completely with your inhale?
And squeeze out every last drop of air with your exhale.
Inviting your breath to rise and fall.
Deep in your belly.
As you begin to allow your breath.
To simply slow down.
Becoming fully present in this moment feeling and accepting the support beneath your body.
And let's collect some beginning data.
Scan your body from the top of your head all the way down to your feet.
Noticing sensations within.
No need to label anything as good or bad.
Just notice how you feel right now.
How does your head feel?
Your face Is your jaw tight and clenched?
How does your neck feel?
Your shoulders.
Arms and hands.
Check in with the sensations in your chest.
And upper back.
Feel the front and back of your ribs.
Your belly and low back.
Observe sensations in your hips.
Legs.
Feet and toes.
If you had to rate your level of anger you're holding on to right now on a scale of 1 to 10.
What would your number be?
Now let's move back into our breath.
This time,
Imagine that your body is an empty glass jar.
And your breath flows like water from a pitcher.
As we inhale,
Pour the breath into the belly.
Then the ribs,
Then the chest.
As we exhale,
Pour the breath out from the chest,
Then the ribs,
Then the belly.
Mentally repeat inhaling belly,
Ribs,
Chest exhaling chest,
Ribs,
Belly.
Continue this awareness of your breath filling you up.
And emptying you out.
As you allow a wave of relaxation to wash over you.
Starting at your head.
Feel the scalp softening.
Face letting go.
Even the tongue becomes more relaxed and at ease.
The eyes resting from the world of seeing.
Feel it move over your throat.
Shoulders,
Arms,
And hands.
And take a moment to notice any sensations you discover on the tips of your fingers.
Then notice that your torso softens.
The internal organs rest.
Allow your hips to melt as the wave of relaxation washes over the hips.
Your legs and feet.
Allowing the whole body to become steady calm and present.
From this place of ease,
Call to mind something that made you angry.
It can be as recent as today.
Or yesterday.
Or perhaps from a long time ago.
Wherever your mind lands is fine.
Call to mind a situation that made you angry.
And remember the details.
As if you were telling me the story.
Now please allow me to interrupt you here.
You may not be done telling the story.
And that's okay.
For a moment,
Let's drop into the body.
What changes do you notice since reliving that situation?
How has your breath shifted?
Do you discover tension or tightness that wasn't there before?
Did the temperature of your body change?
How about your heart rate?
Did your jaw clench?
Fully explore what happens within your body when you feel angry.
These are all normal responses from your nervous system.
Your mind recognizes angry thoughts as warning signs.
That danger is near.
So it begins to respond.
To help you get away from that danger.
Or help you to prepare to fight.
In this moment,
You have a choice.
You can allow that anger to grow and take over.
Losing control.
Or you can recognize your anger for what it is.
A simple warning sign.
And sit with it for a moment.
Becoming curious about what is the emotion Hiding out.
Underneath the anger.
When something happens that brings anger to the surface.
We can choose to retreat from the situation.
So that we can reflect on the cause of the anger.
In the moment,
We may not be able to see clearly all that is happening.
So by removing ourselves,
We can consciously calm down to reflect Pause.
To determine what about that situation triggered such a large response from you.
And then from a place of understanding,
You can respond mindfully.
Instead of just reacting in the moment.
So let's imagine that situation that made you angry again.
With this time,
We'll move through the steps of handling our anger.
Imagine that in the moment you notice the anger rising up,
You consciously take yourself away from the source of that anger.
Step one of taking your power back.
Expressing your needs in that moment.
Being open.
Without blaming or shaming.
You can simply say,
I need a break.
Or I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Let's pause and come back to this.
Then,
Step two,
You can turn to your breath to assist you in calming down.
We will do that together now.
Let's imagine that we can gather anger with our inhale through the nose.
And release it as we roar it out through our mouth like a lion.
Using sound with the exhale.
To feel that anger being released from our body.
So that we can clear our mind.
Imagine a bone-deep vibration.
A sound that doesn't just enter the ears.
But rather ripples out through the ribcage.
Welcome a guttural rumble.
That charges the air around you.
With electricity.
Take a few breaths like this.
.
.
As many as you need in order to release anger and find calm once more.
Remembering that anyone who angers us has conquered us.
Do not give them your power.
Take it back in this moment.
Gather the feeling of anger and release it loudly to regain control.
And when you feel complete,
Invite your mouth to close gently.
And begin to breathe in and out of your nose slowly.
Now that we feel more calm.
Step three,
Ask yourself.
What else could be true about this situation?
When we feel hurt or threatened.
We may see only one side of the story.
One truth.
This person is going to ruin my whole life.
But is there something else that could possibly be true?
Can we find a truth that feels more balanced?
More factual.
Less amplified.
Many times anger is masking a deeper emotion.
Like powerlessness.
Embarrassment.
Or fear.
Many times there are underlying causes.
Internal factors.
Past experiences stored in our mind and body.
Perhaps years of feelings being pushed down below the surface.
Then one little external factor can make us explode.
It can make this situation seem so much larger than it is.
But if we can take a moment to pause.
And back up from the emotions for a moment.
We can ask ourselves,
Will this matter in a year?
When we do that,
We may see that the situation comes down to a much more manageable size.
So ask yourself,
What is something I can say?
In the moment I notice anger rising up,
To break the cycle.
Examples are.
.
.
I can handle this.
Or don't give your power away.
Or even as simple as stay calm.
Be prepared with a plan ahead of time.
Take a moment to formulate the words of your mantra.
That will stop anger in its tracks.
So remember,
First,
We notice anger rising.
Then we say our mantra that we have chosen.
Followed by our steps.
Step one,
Take your power back.
By moving away from the source of anger.
Step two,
Releasing breath.
In step three,
Ask yourself what else could be true of this situation.
Anger itself is not all bad.
Anger can be an activating fuel.
That propels us forward towards change.
But when we hold on to it stewing in it.
Reliving every detail over and over again.
And creating a whole storyline in our mind.
That may not even be true.
There is a physical price that we pay.
Long-term exposure to these stress hormones.
Weakens our immune system.
And our heart.
It can impair our short-term memory.
And cloud our judgment.
Unchecked anger can begin to change our perception of the people around us.
Ruining relationships.
Both professional and personal.
It can change our view on life.
Making us feel the need to protect ourselves at all times.
Left unchecked,
It becomes a poison to our mind and body.
But now we have a plan on how to stay in our power.
The next time anger rises up.
No longer allowing others or external situations to cause us to lose control.
We now have a plan in place.
On how to weather the storms of life.
Remaining deeply grounded and connected.
To the calm center within all of us.
The more you practice this,
The faster and easier it becomes to return to calm.
To feel steady once more.
Before we finish,
Let's check back in with your body.
If you had to rate your level of anger you are holding onto right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10.
What would it be?
We all know that anger will come again.
That's normal.
We are human.
We are supposed to experience all emotions.
But now you have some tools to use in the moment to feel better.
I wish you well my friend.
