When I first started meditation,
I was in pain because I was busy thinking about past regrets.
Now I stopped thinking about the past,
But my mind is very busy with future tasks and plans,
So it is still very difficult to concentrate on breathing.
Why is it so hard to stay awake at the present moment?
This is our reality.
We always suffer thinking about the past regrets.
We get angry,
We get frustrated.
We hate,
And we exhibit our hatred.
We grieve,
We feel sad,
We feel lonely.
Then we regret.
All these are words to describe the suffering in the present moment over what happened in the past.
Often times,
All these past experiences have sunk into our psyche as traumas,
And while we may not be aware of them,
They are still there.
When we meditate,
These traumas come unbidden to the surface and cause us suffering.
If your trauma is healed,
Then all these memories don't have any power to cause you pain.
You can still remember them,
But they won't cause you pain.
If you can maintain your equanimity while thinking about the past,
And if you can maintain and focus on the breath while maintaining equanimity,
Even if these memories are present,
Then these memories will actually just evaporate like water in the ocean.
They will have no cause to hurt you in the future.
It's almost like you're watching a movie,
And you're reacting emotionally to what's happening in the movie as if you're part of the movie.
You're basically watching a movie of the past,
And as you watch this movie,
You are suffering as if it's happening to you right now.
When this is healed a little,
Then you'll be bombarded by thoughts about the future.
That's because you have things to do in the future.
Because you have a psychological burden on trying to plan out your future.
So you're creating your own anxiety by creating this video about the future.
And fear.
And these are suffering that you cause upon yourself by thinking about the future.
So no matter what a good idea you might have about the future,
If you refrain from imbuing that idea with any meaning,
And can maintain your focus on the breath,
Then these ideas may come unbidden to you,
But they will not distract you.
It's almost as if you turn on the YouTube,
And the video auto-plays without you actually clicking on the play button.
It's almost as if you close your eyes,
You start meditation,
And then the video player inside your mind is auto-playing.
This won't stop just because you wish it away.
You have to just let that be.
Without imbuing it with any meaning.
I have nothing else to do right now.
I am done with everything that I need to do.
This is rest and relaxation for me.
I stop my emotions.
I stop my thoughts.
That's the perspective you need to bring to meditation.
However,
You have a habit of how you live your life till now,
And that auto-plays your video inside your head.
However,
The video may auto-play,
But since you're not imbuing it with any meaning,
You're not giving it the power of a narrative.
So it's not that nothing is playing,
Or your mind is empty of thoughts.
You're just not imbuing them with any meaning.
Therefore,
You're not giving a power of narrative,
And you're focusing just on your breath.
It's almost like the sound of the cicadas or the birds outside.
In the beginning,
They might be distracting.
However,
Since you're not imbuing them with any meaning,
Later on,
They don't have the power to distract you.
So first and foremost,
Do not imbue it with meaning.
That means your attention is not distracted by it.
The only thing you're paying attention to is your breath,
And the breath in,
And the breath out.
If your attention wanders,
Just bring it right back to the tip of your nose.
And that's all you do.
And as time goes,
As you practice this,
Then the distracting power of these thoughts will lessen and lessen their hold upon you.
However,
If you imbue those with meaning and create a narrative around it,
Then its hold upon your psyche is going to increase.
It's almost like in YouTube.
You play one video,
Then all the related videos play along right after one after the other.
That's why you have to shift your attention away from it.
So do not wish for the absence of thoughts or distractions.
Just make sure that you don't imbue them with any meaning or you pay them no attention,
Even if they occur.
And if you manage to do that over time,
They will lose their power over you.
I don't see any dust in this room right now.
But if there is a ray of sunshine that kind of pierces through this room,
I'll be able to see a lot of dust floating up.
If I want to get rid of that dust and start brooming all around,
Then I'll stir up a lot more dust.
The only way for me to get rid of the dust is to let them settle onto the ground.
So there is a lot of dust bags in your thoughts,
Of thoughts in your head.
However,
Since we are focused on one thing or another,
We are not fully aware of how much dust there is.
But if you close your eyes and sit down comfortably during meditation,
That's when you realize there are so many dust bags of thoughts inside your head.
It's almost as if that's a ray of sunshine that's making the dust visible inside your room.
But if you want to get rid of all these dust bags of thoughts,
That in itself becomes another distracting thought that's creating more dust and stirring up more dust inside your room.
So instead of paying them any attention,
If you just focus on the breath,
Then the power or the dust bags in the room will settle on itself accordingly.
