Truth And The Heart: Seeing Is Healing

Here I am, again, my heart all bound up in some petty dispute. For the millionth time, I see, and feel, tightness, closed-up-ness: this old heart trying to protect itself. It takes so much effort. It feels like I’m shoving an old bureau in front of its door.

But seeing is understanding. Only when I summon the courage to see that the door is closed, the mouth is set, the eyes are no longer soft or loving – only then can I let go. So in a way, seeing is not only understanding. Seeing is also healing.

Transcript

Hey everybody, It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 529. We're looking at the Dhammapada, The poetry of mindfulness, Still in Chapter 1, Choices. And here's the summary so far. With our thoughts, We make the world. Only love dispels hate. All of us will die and knowing this, How can we quarrel? Temptation cannot touch the person who is awake, Strong and humble. The worthiest endeavor in life and also in the law is the endeavor to purify our minds. Thomas Byram's translation of the next verse is, Mistaking the false for the true and the true for the false, We overlook the heart and fill ourselves with desire. See the false as false, The true as true. Look into the heart, Follow your nature. An unreflecting mind is a poor roof. Passion, Like the rain, Floods the house. But if the roof is strong, There is shelter. Gil Fronsdale's translation is, Those who consider the inessential to be essential and see the essential as inessential don't reach the essential, Living in the field of wrong intention. Those who know the essential to be essential and the inessential as inessential reach the essential, Living in the field of right intention. As rain penetrates an ill-thatched house, So lust penetrates an uncultivated mind. As rain does not penetrate a well-thatched house, So lust does not penetrate a well-cultivated mind. So we could probably spend the rest of our lives just on this verse, But I'll share just a little of what I'm understanding and yeah, See if it resonates. So looking for the truth or looking for what's essential, I feel like that's so much in our DNA, Right? In the law, We're so often trying to parse what's true from what's false and what's essential from what's inessential. So as an exercise, I feel like that's familiar to us, But that's in relation to our clients and our cases and our matters. So this set of verses is referring to something different, At least in my understanding, And also more challenging. So if you looked at it on a relative level, It seems like it's referring to seeing the truth of whether we're speaking and acting with kindness, Compassion, And wisdom or not. And then if not, Knowing we're under the influence of what are called the defilements, So greed, Hatred, And delusion, And then which ones are which one. Or maybe it's remembering in each moment that only love dispels hate. So it's that courageous, Graceful, Moment-to- moment exploration and remembering to approach each moment with kindness. And then on an absolute level, I think it's about seeing the bigger truths about suffering, Impermanence, And emptiness, Seeing that we're all interconnected, That everything we say and do matters, And again, That only love dispels hate. So on an absolute level, If that is what it's saying, On an absolute level, Seeing what's true is challenging because to the extent that I've had any insight into absolute truth, I don't know if it's possible to see it in a kind of setting out kind of way, Meaning I don't know if it's possible to sit down and search for and then see the truths of suffering and impermanence and emptiness or interconnection. In my practice anyway, These truths, And again, To the extent that I've seen them, Have arisen spontaneously and mostly during longer practice periods. And I also feel like I've seen mostly just their shadows, Right? And then every once in a while, It feels like I see one of them in more illuminated form. But each time that happens, Because what I'd seen before seems so elementary in comparison, I know that whatever truth I'm seeing in that new moment is also elementary or infinitesimal compared to what's available to be seen. So I don't know if that makes sense, But I hope it does. On a relative level, Seeing what's true is challenging for different reasons. For me, It's challenging because there's so much at stake, And it's really ego, Right? With a client or a student, I can see the truth, Or I think I can, Because it's about them, Not me, Right? So if I see anger or greed or delusion, No big deal. I can be generous and remember that we all have these defilements and that this person is just doing their best, And then I can get to work and try to help. But when the truth that I'm seeing is about my own greed, My own hatred, My own delusion, It takes a lot of courage for me to see what's happening. And this is something one of the commentators, I'm looking at all these different commentators for the Dhammapada, Says that we tend to put our heads in the sand because the truth is hard to look at. You know, They say it's not knowing the truth that's hard, It's not deceiving ourselves about what we see that's hard. So we put our heads in the sand because, Ick, Right? Who wants to look at their own greed or their own hatred? And, You know, Even if we call it aversion, Because that's more palatable, Right? Who wants to look at that? Who wants to even admit that that's there? It's, Yeah, It's hard. It's challenging. So we have to look with courage, And we have to give ourselves grace when we do that. And I really love something that James taught me a while back, James, I don't know if you're here, But thank you if you are, About how apology is challenging, But it tenderizes the heart. And I'd say apology is the next step. So here we're only or we're first just trying to see what there might be to apologize for. And yet even this feels like it requires courage. And when that courage arises, And I can look and see that the seeing itself long before the apology feels, Feels healing, Because it tenderizes the heart. And as far as grace, I just, I always think of Anne Lamott's definition, I do not at all understand the mystery of grace, Only that it meets us where we are, But does not leave us where it found us. And I don't know where it leaves us either, But somewhere more open, More loving, More, More tenderized. And then the verse says, An unreflecting mind is a poor roof. Passion, Like the rain, Floods the house, But if the roof is strong, There is shelter. Or as Gil puts it, As rain does not penetrate a well-thatched house, So lust does not penetrate a well-cultivated mind. And I loved the commentary that I was reading on this, That it's really about our formal practice that no matter how busy we are, Or maybe because we're so busy, We need that time in silence, You know, And we need patience for that silence to work its wonder. Otherwise, Our thoughts are just banging around in our heads, And they're banging around so hard that they're puncturing the roof, And they're letting in the rain. And I feel like we know this, And yet as a culture, And as a profession, We're so bereft of silence, You know, And it's the very silence that's our shelter, That's our refuge, That's the roof over our heads in this crazy world. So Ganila Norris captures the essence of this teaching. She says, We tend to want to skip the work of it all. It can seem relentless to be aware so much of the time. Isn't that true? Yet these choices are the very structure of our lives. Just as the pine needle or the seed that an ant brings to its hill is the stuff out of which the hill is constructed, So our choices bring us peace or continuing chaos. In pausing, We find ourselves ripening into another way of being. It happens as silently and as slowly as an apple turning red. So let's, Yeah, Let's have a little silence together now. So finding your posture for this sit, Whatever will best support you, And coming to whatever stillness is available to you for the next few minutes. Noticing the body sitting or standing or walking or lying down or driving. Seeing if there is silence in the body. Just sitting in this silent container, Or maybe there's not silence, Maybe there's gurgling or whatever might be happening, But seeing how it feels to just sit in this body, This container. Locating the breath, Just the body breathing the way that the body moves so gently. Expanding on the in-breath. Letting go on the out-breath. And if there's silence in the mind, Then wonderful, Enjoy that. And if the mind is busy, Just notice that with the most loving attitude possible. And then invite the attention back to the breath. Creating a kind of container or shelter or refuge that's always right here, That's always available. Whenever busyness starts to take hold and those thoughts start to bang around against the roof, Just noticing, Letting go, Coming back to the breath and doing that with a smile, With a lot of love. Expanding on the in-breath and letting go just a little bit more. On the out-breath. In pausing, We find ourselves ripening into another way of being. It happens as silently and as slowly as an apple turning red.