Metta: A Deep, Loving, Friendliness Practice

A classically taught, extended Loving Kindness (Metta) Meditation led by Dharma Teacher, Dr. Cheryl Fraser. Cheryl first discusses the basic principles of Metta then offers the meditation with an extended period of practice to experience each section of the guided meditation.

Transcript

So we'll begin this evening with a meditation and I'd like to offer a guided meditation this evening.

A guided meditation bringing the energy of the mind to the heart,

The literal and figurative heart,

And cultivating a quality of what is called metta or loving kindness.

Metta is the Pali word,

Pali being the language that was spoken in the time of the Buddha,

And it's usually translated to be loving kindness.

Another beautiful translation of that word would be loving friendliness.

The idea of a friendly,

Warm,

Sweet quality of heart and mind that you might feel toward a grandchild or a niece or a nephew,

Toward a pet.

Sometimes people find that quality when they think of a pet.

This idea of just when you think of them there's sort of a gentle smile,

A softening of the heart.

And the reason we often suggest a grandchild instead of a child,

A dear friend instead of your spouse,

Is that we're looking for a quality that's fairly uncomplicated.

So certainly I hope we dearly love our own children and parents and spouses,

But those relationships are often more multi-layered and complicated.

Depending on the weather in your relationship in this moment tonight,

Whether they were crabby or kind when you left for Dharma class,

You may or may not be feeling loving friendliness toward certain people to whom we're closer.

So often we say if you have a sweet friend who's a quite uncomplicated friendship,

And you think of them and kind of smile and you feel this nice,

Contented,

Warm,

I just love them,

They're so lovely.

That's that quality of this loving friendliness.

Small child,

Dear friend,

Warm,

Uncomplicated.

Really wish them well,

Really wish them happiness,

Really wish that person or being or critter that they be content.

This is the quality we cultivate in the practice of metta.

There are many ways to practice loving kindness or metta meditation.

I'll be combining some traditional practices with a slightly less traditional practice.

The idea being for each of us to just cultivate and play with this idea together for the next 20 or 30 minutes of that uncomplicated graceful feeling of loving friendly kindness.

Can we cultivate it in our own heart,

In our own so-called emotions?

And can we,

Don't worry,

I'll guide you in these steps,

Can we also send that feeling out to others?

Because this path is very much about freedom for self and others.

This path of,

It's not much fun getting across the raging river to the peaceful shore if you have to leave everybody behind.

We want to bring everyone with us,

Better yet maybe be the fairy person who fairies people across and leaves them on the graceful side and goes back to get more.

That's really the quality in Buddhism we're looking for.

Right.

So we'll begin,

And I'll ease you into the loving kindness by beginning with a bit of a collecting of the mind,

A bit of a focusing practice.

And you can do this eyes open or eyes closed.

With this type of practice,

Most of you will find it probably more helpful with eyes closed.

But it is at your choice and exploration.

So beginning with simply inviting the mind to join the body in the room.

The mind may be thinking about the past or planning the future.

It may be filled with thoughts or fairly empty.

But for most of us,

The mind may not be deeply present as I speak this sentence.

So when I say invite,

It's because it's extremely difficult,

If not impossible,

To muscle the mind.

You can apply effort,

But to muscle the mind,

To be quiet,

As many of you have experienced,

Doesn't work so well.

So instead,

Invite the mind in the following way.

We're going to give the mind something to focus on that is presently happening here in the room,

Not in the future and not in the past.

And we'll start by inviting the mind to focus on the physical sensation of breathing in and out.

One breath at a time.

And this is not a practice of altering the breath in any way.

So you're not trying to breathe more slowly or more deeply.

You're simply letting the body breathe in its own natural rhythm for this particular breath.

But you're inviting the intention to pay as much attention as it can to the physical sensations associated with the breath.

So on the current breath the body is breathing,

Can you focus your attention on the feelings,

The physical sensations on the in-breath?

And I invite you tonight to focus on the physical feelings or sensations at the chest,

At the heart center,

The solar plexus area.

And for some of us on the inhale,

We'll notice perhaps a little bit of movement or like a sense of pressure.

Others may notice no discernible sensation and that's absolutely fine.

You're like a scientist with a microscope.

You're looking but you don't know what you'll find and that's completely okay.

Simply being breathing,

But inviting your attention to notice or focus on or experience in this very instant any physical sensation associated with breathing in and breathing out,

Focusing on the chest,

On the heart center.

There's nothing to do,

There's nowhere to be,

Just the present moment experience of breathing,

Allowing the body to breathe.

But bringing the attention to the physical sensations,

If you notice any,

At the chest or the heart center.

And I invite you now to focus on the physical sensations.

And I invite you now to imagine that floating in the center of your chest where your literal physical heart might be is a glowing ball about the size of a golf ball or a ping pong ball.

If what arises for you is larger or smaller,

That's absolutely fine.

But a glowing ball of light as though it's floating in the middle of your empty chest.

Your chest is filled with light and there's this small glowing ball of light.

Pale rose pink light is often what's recommended here.

Or it may appear as glittering white light,

Like crystal reflected opulence light.

Just choose pale rose pink if you wish.

And as the body's breathing on its own in its own natural rhythm I invite you to imagine that that glowing ball of light at the heart center is suffused with this quality of meta or loving kindness or loving friendliness,

This graceful,

Gentle,

Inviting,

Warm,

Safe feeling.

And imagine the glow gets ever brighter and it gradually starts to fill your whole body.

But it's as though your body is made of space instead of flesh.

It's as though your body is a beautiful glass or crystal sculpture.

And the exact same position as your literal body is right now on its chair or cushion.

But filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

With this glowing light source at the heart center that starts to radiate out and fill down to your toes and fingers and up through your neck and head.

Fill the body,

The light body,

With the warm healing,

Loving energy of meta or loving kindness.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And if the mind wanders into thinking or sound,

Just redirect the attention.

Refresh the imagination or the visualization.

Focus on the sensations of breathing into the white or pale pink ball of light in your chest.

And imagine that light glows through your whole body,

Which is empty and filled with light and with space.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And as the body is filled with space,

Like a hollow,

Radiant crystal statue of your body.

And I invite you now to bring to mind a person to whom you feel a warm,

Benevolent,

Friendly kindness.

As aforementioned,

That might be a dear friend that you have a very sweet,

Fairly uncomplicated friendship with.

It might be a grandchild,

A cousin,

A niece,

Or nephew.

For the moment,

Someone fairly gentle will move on to some of our more complicated relationships next.

But choosing whoever comes to mind,

That you just very easily feel a sense of sort of warm,

Loving sweetness towards.

A bit of a touch of a smile,

And you think of them and you just think,

Oh,

They're just lovely.

If it's difficult to find a human right now,

That's okay.

Sometimes it can be helpful to use a pet that evokes this sort of sweet affection in us.

Fairly uncomplicated.

Don't overthink it.

You can't choose wrong.

And when you bring this being to mind,

I invite you to imagine them sitting across from you.

And that beautiful,

Warm,

Loving heart of yours starts to glow.

And imagine sending well wishes,

Good thoughts,

Affection and kindness towards this being.

We'll use some of the traditional phrases taught by the Buddha.

So you can imagine sending toward this being with as much true-hearted,

Kind friendliness as you're able to muster or feel or imagine,

May you be well.

Your true wish that this person be well.

May you be happy.

Your true wish that they feel the grace of an open mind and heart.

May you be free from suffering.

Your sincere wish.

Let this being be free from mental and physical suffering as much as is possible right now.

And may you dwell in equanimity,

The wish that when things go well or things go in a difficult direction for this being that they will be able to ride those waves of change with grace and calm and kindness.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering in body and mind.

May you dwell in a state of graceful equanimity.

Really imagining that you're sending this energy of loving kindness.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

And may you dwell in graceful equanimity,

Not being tossed about by the winds of change.

Refreshing the visualization at the heart center of this warm healing ball of light,

Pale rose pink or perhaps opulence and white light.

And gently allow this being in front of you to move away,

Knowing they've received your kindness,

Your true good thoughts.

And bring to mind next another person,

Perhaps a more close or complex relationship.

You feel tremendous affection for,

But sometimes it's challenging.

And imagine this person in front of you.

And you refresh the energy in the heart center.

And it may help to imagine it shining out of your chest and into their heart center,

Like a lighthouse beacon of warmth and good wishes and sincere care.

And sending from your own good heart to their good heart.

Your heartfelt wishes.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

May you dwell in equanimity of mind and heart.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be graced with equanimity.

Not reacting to the ups and downs of life.

Not letting them rock your mind.

Refreshing the imagined image of the person in front of you.

Sending with as much sincerity as you can currently feel.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

May you have equanimity,

Peacefulness.

And then you can gently imagine that person moving away.

And bring to mind another person or groups of persons you care for,

You wish well for.

And sending to them.

Even if sometimes it feels a little false or it feels a little challenging,

That's fine.

This is a rehearsal of a skill.

Sending to this person or persons as best you're able,

Your heartfelt,

Intentional good thoughts.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering in body and mind.

May you dwell in equanimity.

These are the things I wish for you,

My friend.

And then allowing that person or persons to gently move away.

I invite you to bring to mind a teacher or a mentor.

Someone who at some point in your past or maybe present has had a positive impact on you.

Maybe an uncle or aunt,

A teacher,

A coach,

A dharma teacher,

A music teacher.

Some mentor,

Many of us are blessed with many,

But choose one mentor to whom you feel warmth,

A gratitude perhaps,

A kind of feeling.

And imagine that person in front of you sending from your own glowing,

Warm heart to their heart,

Your heartfelt thoughts and sincere wishes and blessings.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

And may you dwell in equanimity,

Riding the waves of change that life brings to all of us.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

And may you dwell in equanimity.

And then gently allowing that person to move gently away.

If you wish,

I invite you to bring to mind a difficult person,

Someone you have feelings of dislike toward,

Someone perhaps you felt harmed by in the past or the present.

If you'd rather not,

You can choose another mentor.

But for those of us that wish to practice as the Buddha invited us to when we're ready with a difficult person,

Can we cultivate these feelings for people we don't like?

Can we cultivate the feelings of warm loving kindness towards people we feel difficult or worse?

So if you wish bringing to mind a person you're difficult or disliked or maybe even hated person,

And imagine them sitting in front of you and as much as you're currently able acknowledge that this person too has difficulties and pain and suffering,

And that it's possible they're just trying to be happy,

Even if it's in a very unskillful way.

And as much as you're able,

Sending to this difficult,

Challenging or even loathed person your heartfelt good wishes.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering in body and mind.

May you dwell in equanimity,

Have peace.

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

May you dwell in equanimity.

And then gently allow that person to move away.

And next I invite you to bring to mind yourself at an earlier time than today.

Whatever arises,

It might be a childhood version of you,

Adolescent or young adult,

It might be you yesterday or last week.

Whatever arises or choose one,

But a version of you at a younger age,

Earlier than this evening.

And as best you're able,

Bring to mind a picture of this younger you.

And as much as you're able,

Can you recall some of the circumstances in your life at that time?

Was it an easy time,

A difficult time,

A mixture of both?

Are you able to feel empathy or kindness or friendliness for this earlier you?

You may or may not.

If you don't,

You can imagine feeling empathy,

You can imagine feeling kindness to this lovely person that for a period of time you were.

What does he or she look like in your mind's eye?

What might he or she be wearing at that phase of your life?

Was he or she struggling or fairly happy?

And as best as you're able,

Refreshing that sense of warm,

Friendly kindness that you sent so easily to the first being,

Your grandchild or pet or friend.

And as best you're able,

Sending some warm,

Glowing light from your chest,

Your heart center,

To the heart center of this younger or earlier you.

A you to whom I hope we all are able to cultivate deep affection,

Whether that version of us was making foolish choices or wise choices.

Whether their life was easy or brutal at that time,

Whatever it was,

A part of what built who you've become.

And as much as you're able,

Sending your heartfelt wishes of metta,

Loving,

Friendly kindness to this earlier you with the traditional phrases,

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering in body and mind,

May you dwell in equanimity,

Whatever was happening then,

You survive.

May you be well,

May you be happy,

May you be free from suffering,

And may you dwell in equanimity.

And then gently allowing that earlier you to move away,

Knowing you've got their back,

You'll look out for them.

And redirecting and inviting your attention to settle once again on your heart center,

Your chest,

As you allow the breathing in its own natural rhythm.

Inviting your attention to focus on the physical sensations of the in-breath and the out-breath.

Placing a touch of a smile or imagining a touch of a smile on your lips,

Refreshing that imaginal or perceived ball of light,

Rose pink light in the heart center.

And bringing your attention to yourself as you are in this moment.

Directing the light of metta or loving kindness to your own good heart,

Your own good self,

Aspiring to be free of suffering,

Aspiring to be loving and wise.

Directing to yourself this age-old practice of metta.

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering in body and in mind.

May I dwell in equanimity,

Accepting the ups and downs of life with grace.

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering.

May I dwell in equanimity.

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be free from suffering in body and in mind.

And may I dwell in equanimity.

And then gently allowing all of that to melt away.

Simply attending to the sensations of breathing in and out from your own good heart.

May I dwell in equanimity.

May I dwell in equanimity.

Reviews

A classic meditation, well guided

This is an excellent Metta meditation for those of us who have difficulties with ourselves. It’s great for healing. It starts with an uncomplicated sweet friend or animal, and before even moving to self you tackle a difficult person and then A younger version of yourself before yourself now. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is dealing with recovery.