Mentalising The Modes, One By One

16:51

Mentalising The Modes, One By One

by Attachment Repair

Rated

4.1

Type

guided

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

122

Schema modes are emotional states and coping strategies that we all use. Below is an exploration of how attachment styles exhibit or inhibit different modes. By bringing different modes to mind, we can understand their roles in our lives. Examining them in the light of mindfulness, we can begin to choose whether or not to act on them. The track has ambient sounds in the background.

Schema Mode Awareness Practice Attachment Based Self Reflection Inner Child Healing Emotional Labeling Affect Naming Practice Attachment Mindfulness Ambient Sounds Inner Voice Emotional Regulation Inner Child Work Attachment Styles Self Soothing Methods Emotions

Meet your Teacher

Attachment Repair

New York, NY, USA

Meet your Teacher

Attachment Repair

New York, NY, USA

Transcript

So just straighten up, Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling. Take one deep breath. And now I'm going to be this list of modes to you. And what I want you to do is generate or generate a sense for that mode in yourself. And there might be a few of these that just don't resonate, But see if you can really feel into this mode. Family child. Abandoned child. Abused child. Humiliated or ashamed child. Dependent child. This is like help the helpless child. This is common for people with preoccupied attachment. So dependent child. Oh, I can't do it by myself. This is so bad in me. And also feel how uncomfortable all of these are. Angry unsocialized child. Enraged child. Impulsive child. Okay, Now stay in the meditation. And now I'm going to keep reading and these are healthy child modes. Happy contented child. Imagine that. And kind of really notice this in a sense corner of yourself. This like little corner of your psyche that is this way. Connection seeking child. Exploratory creative child. Okay. And now we're going to go and sustain the meditation. Now we're going to go through the maladaptive coping modes. So surrender, Surrender avoidance over compensation. Okay. So these are not child modes. Let me just make that clear. Okay, So now keep imagining these. Compliance surrender. What does that look like for you? Do you have that mode? Interestingly, I noticed that I have it and it feels really uncomfortable to even admit that. Self pity victim mode. This would be something you'd see with preoccupied attachment more frequently. Okay, Now we'll move on to the detached and avoidant modes. So detached protector. Can you find that in yourself? Spaced out protector. Now this is more like a dissociated state. Imagine that. Avoidant protector. Imagine that. What does that look like for you? Detached self soothing mode. Detached self soother. What does that look like for you? Is that like binging on Netflix, Drinking alcohol to excess, Smoking marijuana, Something like that? Or maybe creating something kind of mind numbing on the internet. So imagine once again, Detached self soother. This is a really, Really common mode. Really study the contours of the mode. Angry protector. So this is kind of where you put up this kind of wall of anger so that nobody can get to you. So you can't feel your feelings. I know I totally have that mode. Okay, Now workaholic mode. But this workaholic is in order to avoid. So see yourself busying yourself with work in order to avoid your feelings, Avoid connections with others, Etc. Okay, Now we'll move on to the overcompensation modes. So now imagine your attention and approval seeker mode. What does that look like? Preoccupied fawning mode. This preoccupied fawning mode has both overcompensation, Kind of a very busied worrying with the mental states of others. But it also implies a type of surrender as well. This could really go under both overcompensation and surrender. Go into over, Go into preoccupied fawning mode. See what that looks like for you. Okay, And now the next mode is, This is going to be more typical for dismissing attachment, Self aggrandizer. So imagine that. This is often used to regulate, Emotionally regulate out of a sense of defectiveness and shame and internalized projection, Which is, In a sense, A core, Which I believe is a core of dismissing attachment. So this kind of puffing oneself up. Oh, I know, I know, I'm better. I know, I'm good. I'm better than others. So come into that mode and just see it clearly. Like you're really taking an interest in these modes. Over okay, We'll move on over controller. This can be also often like a perfectionistic overcontroller. I'll just repeat it. So perfectionistic overcontroller. What does that look like for you? Okay, Now let's move on to a kind of overcompensated, Overcompensating version of workaholic. So this is not so much to just shut down feelings or not be around others. It's more about, Well, I'm going to keep working to be better. This is kind of what this you see you're overworking in order to bring about the opposite message of the schema. So if you're like feel defective, You're going to keep working until you feel better about yourself kind of thing. So come into that. The workaholic, Workaholic mode. Okay, And now we're going to do some antisocial modes. Clearly and attack. Do you have that inside of you? Is that a gear you can kind of get in? And if so, Just see that clearly. We're not judging it. We're just trying to study it and build a greater ability to identify the mode within ourselves. Conning and manipulative mode. Conning and manipulative mode. See if you can find that. And you might just have just a little bit of it or you might have a lot. But just notice clearly whatever you have of that mode. Okay, And predator mode. Do you have a predatory mode inside of you? Just see that clearly. Okay, Good. And now we're going to do the last set of modes, Which are maladaptive parent modes or interject or internalized parent voices. And man, I think this list of modes is extremely valuable. I definitely have a ton of the demanding parent voice, Also guilt inducing parent voice. Anyhow, But let's start with punitive parent voice. And so just a note generally on the parent voices. They're kind of like self-referential, Like some of the other modes, You just get in it and you're just doing it. Whereas this is like you're talking back at yourself. It's like you have a parent inside your mind that's talking at you. So punitive parent voice. Go ahead and notice the quality of that mode. What does it sound like? What does it feel like for you? Okay, Demanding parent voice mode, Demanding parent. You need to do more. You have to keep going. You'll be criticized if you don't keep producing or keep doing really well. Really listen to that, Hear that. What does it sound like? Notice this. Okay, Just two more, Guilt inducing parent voice. Oh, You can't have that for yourself. You need to only think of others. Oh, You need to think of me. Oh, What would your mother think? That kind of stuff. Guilt inducing parent voice. See if you can identify that. Okay, Good.