Inner Child Meditation With Buddhist Heart Qualities

In this meditation, we will work to reparent the inner child within a sphere of emotions the Buddha called immeasurable, or "The Heavenly Abodes": loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, equanimity.

Transcript

Okay,

So straightening up,

Pushing the crown of the head up towards the ceiling,

Starting to settle in.

Let's just take one deep breath and then hold the breath below the navel and then we'll release it slowly.

So go ahead and inhale very deeply now.

Retaining the breath below the navel.

Now exhale and then feel the relaxation.

Okay good.

So the meditation that we'll be doing is we'll be using first the heart practices of Buddhism to get into the head space of loving-kindness,

Compassion,

Sympathetic joy and unconditional love and then we'll be doing an inner child meditation where we give ourselves that same experience of unconditional love,

Sympathetic joy and compassion.

Okay,

So now bring up an easy to love object.

This will either be a child below the age of five or a pet,

An animal,

A dog,

A cat and you can get really creative here.

What's important is that you have an uncomplicated loving relationship.

So bring them to mind now.

Now the first thing to do is smile.

And now feel the smile in the body as well.

And now see your beloved there,

Right standing there right before you.

Now make it very vivid such that if you were to open up the eyes you would expect to see the beloved right there before you.

And now you see how your beloved is mirroring your smile.

And now notice this quality of receptivity and responsiveness that you have towards the beloved.

There's also this soft focus,

Curiosity and interest.

And now let's wish safety and happiness for the beloved.

You can use a mantra here.

May you be happy.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be safe and happy.

You can hold and even cradle your beloved if you like.

May you be safe and happy.

Simply open and interested.

May you be safe and happy.

Now see the mirroring,

See the receptivity and responsiveness.

May you be happy.

May you be safe and happy.

Now you're both looking at each other in the eye.

Now maintain the smile.

You can feel the smile in the whole body.

May you be safe and happy.

May no harm come to you.

And now notice how this desire that the beloved be safe and happy.

It's not just some sort of disembodied sentiment.

You can feel this quality of motivation like the muscles are about to fire,

Like you're ready to take action and really take care of the beloved.

Feel into that.

See that now.

And now we'll work on compassion.

So imagine that the beloved is experiencing some sort of difficulty or suffering,

Pain maybe.

And now feel how that pulls on the heartstrings.

So compassion is what love does when it sees suffering in others.

Now once again,

There's this quality of openness,

Receptivity and responsiveness.

And now there's this understanding and recognition of the suffering of the beloved,

But primarily your experience is that of love towards the beloved.

And now see how you really understand what's happening for the beloved.

See how you track their mental states,

How you really understand this upset.

And you might even say,

Oh,

There,

There,

It'll all be okay.

I'm here with you now.

You might lean in,

Tilt the head so that the beloved can see that you understand what's happening.

You might also comfort the beloved,

Console.

And see how your consoling is responsive to their needs.

You're understanding their needs.

And so you console in just the right way.

Note that scene now.

Now again,

Notice this quality of engagement.

This is not some sort of disembodied sentiment.

This is a real embodied,

Motivated desire to help.

And see how you're taking action in the scene in order to help and alleviate the suffering of the beloved.

Keep going.

You can use a phrase or a mantra here.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

And now see how the beloved is becoming more emotionally regulated,

That they're moving through this problem.

And now feel how you have this confidence in them.

And now see how you can't help but smile,

Seeing that they're letting the suffering go,

Moving through it.

And now feel into this joy that you're taking in this.

What a delight.

Now bring up some of the character strengths,

Some of the good qualities of the beloved.

Bring those to mind now.

Maybe it's their happiness,

Their easygoingness,

Their intelligence,

Their good character,

Their good ethics,

Their care for others.

See that now.

Now feel how that brings a smile to your face.

You just can't help but smile.

That's right.

And now see how the beloved knows that your joy is about them.

And now see how this makes the beloved feel so supported and connected with.

Now keep seeing these character strengths of the beloved and keep taking great joy in that.

And you can use a mantra if you like,

A verbalization.

May you have joy in the cause of joy.

May you have joy in the cause of joy.

And now have your beloved do a scene where they're playing,

Investigating,

Exploring something that's meaningful to them.

And now once again bring up this appreciative joy.

How wonderful.

What a delight.

And now notice how it's so clear that they know that they're supported by you.

And also notice how they totally trust the joy that you take in them,

The support that you give them.

They totally see that.

May you have joy in the cause of joy.

Now this might seem a bit weird,

But now let's do a different scene where the beloved is maybe difficult,

Kind of slightly off-putting,

Acting a way that might otherwise receive some sort of rejection.

Maybe they're being very pouty or angry or extremely rambunctious.

So see that scene.

And now notice how this changes nothing for you.

That there's this quality of unconditional openness,

Receptivity,

And responsiveness that hasn't changed a bit.

How the beloved presents doesn't have any effect on the degree of your receptivity or responsiveness towards them.

You just love them for being who they are.

There's this feeling of expansiveness,

Spaciousness.

There's so much space for them to present however they want.

You might even say,

Oh,

I see that you're angry.

That's fine.

I'm here with you.

Oh,

You're maybe even angry at me.

That's fine.

That doesn't bother me.

That's okay.

Good.

And now bring up this quality of confidence in the beloved.

Feel how you're very confident in guiding them and you can see their own confidence in themselves.

And see how they see that.

They see that they're supported.

They see that you're confident in them.

Really feel into that.

See how you know that everything will unfold just beautifully for the beloved and the beloved feels that support right now.

And now see how this changes the way that the beloved presents to others,

How the beloved goes about their explorations much more bravely,

How they interact with others with a confidence that they would otherwise not have,

But they know that they have you backing them up.

Good.

And now what we'll do is we'll have you as a child take the place of the beloved and then you as your best healthy adult self take the place of the position you had occupied.

And now we'll do a very similar meditation,

But we'll be sending all of this loving kindness,

Compassion,

Equanimous love,

Confidence,

And wisdom to our adult,

I'm sorry,

To our child-self.

So now imagine yourself as a child below the age of five.

And there you are your adult self.

And now have the child-self see how safe they are with you.

And here use your creativity.

What does safety look like for you?

Now make that scene.

Help that scene now.

The child you sees the intentional stance of the adult you.

The child you totally trust your intentions.

You're totally trustworthy.

Now see that clearly now.

You're so safe.

And now see how that really helps you settle.

And also the safety allows for more connection,

More attunement.

The child you feels totally seen and known.

Now go ahead and send loving kindness towards your child-self.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be safe and happy.

Now physically smile and feel the smile in the body as you repeat your phrase.

May you be safe and happy.

There's this clear recognition on the part of the child you that you're totally safe.

You have total permission to settle in.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be safe and happy.

Keep developing the scene creatively now.

Okay.

And now have the child version of you bring up some sort of suffering,

Some sort of unresolved pain.

It might relate back to some some belief about the self or the world.

Maybe it's a sense of loneliness,

Abandonment,

Rejection,

Shame,

Social isolation,

Maybe inability to manage life or fend for oneself.

Go ahead and figure out what this suffering is that's coming up.

Could be a fear of abuse,

A mistrust.

Now let's just investigate that just for a minute.

Now why would this source of suffering come up for you?

What are the beliefs that you have about the world,

That you have about yourself when you're believing the thought?

Just see it as it is.

Now briefly contemplate why is it that you would have this belief?

What experiences did you have in the past that it would have brought this about?

Okay.

And now have the healthy adult version of yourself see this upset,

See this negative belief,

See this suffering.

The healthy adult might lean in a bit,

Tilt the head.

The child can see that they're understood.

They feel totally seen and known.

And now based on that understanding and achievement,

Your healthy adult goes to soothe and console the child.

Go ahead and develop that scene now.

And once again notice this is not some sort of disembodied sentiment.

You're really motivated.

The adult version of you is willing to do whatever.

How can I help?

What can I do?

I want you to work through this.

I'm totally here for you.

Go ahead and develop that scene now.

What words do you need to hear?

What reassurance do you need?

I'm totally here for you.

It's a joy for me to be here and take care of you.

Happy to help however.

The adult version of you also sees the total blamelessness of the child.

These difficulties are not the fault of the child.

This is very clear.

You reassure your child self of that.

And now the adult also says to the child,

Don't worry.

I'll be with you all along the way.

I'll see you through this.

Now develop the scene in such a way that this is very clear and obvious to you.

That's right,

Keep going.

And now see how your child self really does feel supported.

Working through this bit of suffering is so much easier with all this support.

Really feel into that.

Also now notice what it's like to be seen and known,

Attuned with in this way.

Your emotional experience is totally validated.

Really feel into that.

And now the child,

The inner child starts moving through this,

Starts coming out the other end.

Okay,

Starting to feel better.

And now the healthy adult sees this.

Sees this resilience.

And now this just brings a big smile to your face.

What a delight.

See how your child self is such a delight to the healthy adult.

What a delight.

And then now the inner child notices the love,

The support.

The support is so unquestioning,

So perfect.

And now notice how the support helps turn on the exploration mechanism.

When we're totally supported,

Curiosity,

Interest,

Play,

Exploration are supported.

We're then motivated to do those things.

So now go ahead and make a scene where you play.

You explore something that you find meaningful.

And now the healthy adult can't help but smile.

What a delight.

What a joy.

This is appreciative joy and this is support.

Healthy adult takes great joy in the explorations and play of your inner child.

Now feel this in the body.

Notice how this will never change.

This will always be just this way.

Really take that in.

That's right.

Keep going with the visualization.

And now your healthy adult is also very confident in your child self.

Feel into that.

And now why wouldn't you be?

Of course you're confident.

You have this support.

And now turn the mind to your real adult life going forward.

And now see how everything feels different.

Your explorations will be so much easier.

You have all the support.

Likewise connecting with others will be so much easier.

See how you expect more or less the same responses from others as you got from your healthy adult self.

See how others delight in you.

See how others can't help but smile when they see you.

See how you also delight in others when you see them.

Also notice a sense of connection.

You really know what's happening for others.

You understand their mental states and they understand yours.

Really feel into that.

Okay good.

So now go ahead and dissolve that scene.

Just for the next 30 seconds reflect back.

What was this like for you?

What did you learn?

What are the take-home messages?

That's right.

Okay good.

And now release that scene.

Letting go of the meditation.

And now bring the attention to the rising and falling of the abdomen.

And now open the eyes halfway but keep holding the attention on the rising and falling of the abdomen.

And now let that go.

Opening the eyes fully.

Coming back to the room.

Being fully settled in the experience.

Okay thank you.

Reviews

Very heart opening, thank you 🙏

What a wonderful meditation for Inner Child healing and Inner Child Inner loving parwnt to connect!

Really deep and meaningful. He's very tapped in to this work and excellent at guiding us through the steps/process slowly and methodically. I am on a solitary 7 night retreatI retreat & have accessed a good bit of "stuff" & needed to cry-- but just couldn't go there .. This meditation gently got me there..I am feeling a shift that I'm guardedly hopeful will spill over to how I live and love . Many heartfelt thanks

Thank you so much. I hadn't realized my child self needed to know it is ok to want to be seen. So sweet to give her that assurance, that I see her fully

So soothing and helpful. Highly recommended! Thank you so much for the meditation.

Gentle connection of heart centered tenderness toward inner child Self. I experienced a deep “felt sense” of genuine loving-kindness and compassion 💕May you know gratitude and the cause of gratitude. 🙏🏼

A beautiful journey of discovery and transformation. Thank you 🙏🏼

These meditations are what I personally needed. Thank you for these. For however many people are involved you’re all doing a great job.

What a beautiful, curing, relesing and loving meditation. Gratitude! Suce a bless. 💜

Very helpful connecting with your inner child embraceing the pure loving soul knowing unconditionally how much your loved 🥰 blessed thank you 🙏