Repatterning Negative Beliefs (Schemas)

This meditation looks at the roots of our negative beliefs about ourselves, showing how they formed for reasons beyond our control. We will see that, although they made sense at some time, we can choose to let them go. Finally, Cedric guides a visualization with the perfect nurturers to help bring us better in line with reality.

Transcript

Bring up this sense of something greater than yourself.

You can bring up like the sense of God,

The universe.

Maybe reflect on different saints and sages.

Now feel into this quality of mystery.

See how there's this humility and quality of,

I just don't know.

Feel into this quality of receiving a blessing,

Receiving support.

Really taking that in.

And now look into,

Look into your doing this meditation,

See yourself meditating.

See yourself gaining great insights,

Resolving problems,

Developing an even greater sense of ease and a greater sense of agency in the world.

Okay,

Now let that go.

Now we'll get into the primary meditation.

So what symptoms,

What behaviors are coming up in your life?

What issues do you want to work on?

Take a minute to reflect on that.

What beliefs underlie this?

What beliefs make it so that I must respond in this way?

Or what beliefs result in my just ending up acting this way?

And now likely this behavior is helping you avoid an even greater suffering.

And here we're seeing the utility and value of this neurotic behavior of ours.

This helps us.

How is it that this behavior helps us?

Now go back to the belief.

What are the beliefs about self that come up?

And here you want to take the pro symptom position.

So really believe it.

And answer like in very simple childlike language.

I believe such and such about myself.

So now see this belief and see how your behavior is consistent with this belief about yourself.

There's a coherence,

It makes sense,

Really open up to that.

It's like,

Oh yeah,

Of course I act this way.

And now notice how when you're believing all of this entirely naively,

That there are certain beliefs about the world that arise.

So the world seems so such and such.

I'm going to put it on the plank.

Seems so such and such.

Fill in the plank.

Just see all of this clearly.

And now this is very important.

See how this is just conditioning.

This is just a set of beliefs.

And now this is introspective awareness.

We're seeing this just as it is.

It's like,

Oh yeah,

I have this belief.

This belief drives this behavior.

Now study this with an open curiosity.

The loving open curiosity.

So now go back to the underlying belief.

You learned this.

This is just conditioning.

And now let's look back and find where we learned this.

So look back.

Where did you learn this?

Look back to childhood,

Adolescence or adulthood and let a scene arise that taught you this.

Where are you?

Who are you with?

How old are you?

And also know that you're safe.

It's okay to have this experience to see this clearly.

And now let's see clearly.

Aha,

Look,

Yeah,

I learned this.

I was taught this.

This is the way the world is.

We adapt.

And now have the perfect nurturers come into the scene.

They can be with you in that scene or remove you from the scene.

Do whichever is best for you.

Now what's so clear is that these perfect nurturers are entirely on your side.

They view it from your perspective.

Totally loyal to you.

Notice how you feel totally safe and protected.

And also attuned with,

Seen and known.

There was real suffering that happened for you.

You didn't learn these lessons about life from nowhere,

Nor was it easy.

It was actually grueling and hard.

It was difficult.

And now these perfect nurturers move to soothe you,

Comfort you.

So shape and reshape the scene and I'll check in with you shortly.

Trust your intuitions.

Also feel free to discuss it with the perfect nurturers.

Maybe they have some advice to give you.

Also they're totally confident you're going to move through this no problem.

And this is an absolute delight for them to be with you and help you through this.

Keep going.

Also notice how the perfect nurturers would never put you in that same position.

They would never let that,

This bad thing that happened to you ever happen again.

And that helps you trust and open up even more.

Keep going.

So,

Shape and reshape the scene,

Such a way to get your needs met.

Seeing this total quality,

This quality of total receptivity and responsiveness on the part of the perfect nurturers.

That's right.

Keep going.

Using dialogue with the perfect nurturers.

Also notice how the way that the perfect nurturers are treating you actually disconfirms your old belief.

And supporting you in such a way that is actually inconsistent with this old belief.

Start noticing that.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Notice how they track your mental state just perfectly.

Notice how you're totally seen and known and supported.

Keep going.

Keep going.

That's right.

Keep going.

Okay,

Good.

Now let's go back to that earlier scene.

That scene that this negative learning took place.

Now you're with the perfect nurturers.

You and the perfect nurturers have this tremendous sense of agency.

You're big and strong,

Totally able.

So notice how your metacognitive abilities are perfect.

Very circumspect,

Very balanced.

You feel totally supported.

So now,

We'll take two potential corrective actions in this old scene.

So now,

If this is helpful for you and it works for your situation,

Go ahead and confront the person that treated you poorly.

Let them know this wasn't right.

And this may or may not be relevant.

And also notice how safe you are.

Notice this sense of complete agency that you have.

Go ahead and develop that scene.

That's right.

Keep going.

Now have this other person that treated you poorly acknowledge.

This doesn't have to be even remotely realistic and also modify as you see fit.

This is a great way to recognize that.

And now,

The perfect nurturers really back you up and see how you're not wrong.

You never did anything wrong.

That this was just a screwed up situation and it's not your fault.

And now,

Have everybody in the scene,

Yourself,

The perfect nurturers,

Maybe this person that treated you unkindly,

Acknowledge the situation.

Acknowledge that you were mistreated,

That this was not right,

That it won't happen again.

Also,

You're not dependent on this person that treated you poorly in any way,

You're rather,

You're with the perfect nurturers,

And their promises are reliable.

Now really take this in.

See how you can see this whole situation from a different perspective now.

This was just this event.

It did in fact,

Mark you in a way,

It did create suffering,

But it was still just this learning,

This negative learning,

That's all it is.

See how the old belief is now somewhat disconfirmed at this point.

See how this negative behavior of yours,

Or this problematic behavior isn't even necessary anymore.

Not the way it was.

Okay,

Now we're going to redo this old scene to where this negative event never happened.

An easy way to do this is create a similar scene but the perfect nurturers are there.

And you know your needs are perfectly met.

So go ahead and develop this new kind of redo,

Or redone scene.

That's right,

Keep going.

And as you do this positive redo,

See how life can take a different path now.

See how you expect something different from life.

Your expectations are much more positive now.

Okay,

Good.

Now,

Start floating towards the present,

But then look back at the original negative scene.

See how you can just see this as this event.

How it's no longer all consuming.

How it doesn't overly condition you.

The mind is very broad.

So now you find yourself back in the present with the perfect nurturers.

Now go ahead and shape the scene in such a way to further meet your needs and further disconfirm this old negative belief.

That's right,

Keep going.

Now,

Have the perfect nurturers remind you how this belief is actually disconfirmed based on the evidence of your own real adult life.

They remind you that you have lots of memories that disconfirm this old negative schema.

So they remind you of those memories now.

Notice how clear it is.

It's like obvious.

It's like,

Oh yeah,

Of course.

I just couldn't see these parts of my life.

Keep going.

That's right.

See how you can really see different possibilities now.

Okay,

Good.

And now I'm going to ask you to do something that's impossible.

But the exercise will help firm up on the disconfirmation of the old belief.

So bring up the old belief about self and the world.

This negative belief.

And now at the same time,

Reflect on all the disconfirming experiences of this schema that you've had in this meditation and had in your life.

So hold both in the mind at the same time.

This is impossible,

But just try.

Now reinforce the positive beliefs,

The positive experiences.

Good.

Now feeling into this new positive experience.

And now see your whole life,

Your whole adult life going forward unfold,

But consistent with these new positive experiences and beliefs.

Notice the sense of agency,

Confidence,

Competence,

Really knowing who you are,

Knowing what you want.

And see how you get the responses,

You elicit the responses from the world that you desire.

Really take that in.

Keep going.

See how you can go about your explorations with the sense of support and self agency.

Really feeling into this.

Now feel into how or see how your interpersonal relationships go very well.

That you elicit the desired responses from others.

That others value you.

You value others.

You delight in others.

Others delight in you.

You feel understood,

Seen and known.

That all of this is reciprocated.

Visualize that now.

Really taking that in.

Making a deep impression of this.

Good.

Now we're going to do a few additional exercises,

And then we'll end the meditation.

So look back at this old schema.

This affects so many others.

You are not alone in this.

And also you see the authenticity of your suffering.

It was real suffering.

Now you can understand the real and authentic suffering of others around this as well.

So reflect on how common this is.

And on the in-breath,

Touching into this shared suffering,

Recognizing it,

Seeing it.

And on the in-breath,

Sending peace and well-wishing to all beings that suffer in this way,

Including yourself.

And then we'll end with that practice for about a minute.

That's right.

Keep going.

See how you really get it.

You really understand the suffering of others and yourself.

Good.

And then releasing that.

And now for the next 30 seconds,

Reflect back.

What was this like?

What did you learn?

Good.

And then as a last piece,

See how you brought about some positive change in yourself.

You did this meditation.

You have an augmented sense of agency.

It's like,

Oh yeah,

I can deal with this.

I can deal with my life.

I can bring about the changes I want.

Now feel into that very clearly.

Good.

Now release the meditation.

Pay attention to the rising and falling of the abdomen.

Now open the eyes halfway,

But keep following the abdomen.

Open up the eyes and release the meditation entirely.

Come back to the room.

Reviews

Finding this and hitting play today was no accident…no coincidence. Thank you. Although I couldn’t land on one event, there was a release and cleansing happening as tears were streaming down.

What an astonishing teacher you are, and what a transformative teaching this is. I’m going to invest in your courses via the website. It’s just a matter of time. You deserve to be compensated for such wonders you wrought. Your work is a true gift to the world. And I only wish that everyone who didn’t have a perfect upbringing gets access to this profound medicine. 💞💓

This is a new favorite. It’s like the other half of the Ho’opono prayer.

Amazing. As someone who constantly deals with negative self beliefs this meditation was fantastic.