Becoming a Positive Person The thoughts we have not only affect our emotional health but also our physical health.
When we think negatively,
Our body responds as if it is in a tension-filled situation.
The fight-or-flight response is called into action.
Your adrenaline flows,
Your pulse quickens,
And you exhaust yourself.
More thinking patterns are learned or automatic responses developed by years of experiences.
These responses are habits we form as a result of watching those around us,
Parents,
Teachers,
Peers,
And others.
Without being aware of what is happening,
Messages are being decoded in our minds,
Minute by minute,
Day after day,
Week by week,
And year after year.
We interpret situations,
Make judgments,
And carry on conversations with ourselves all the time.
The nature of this self-talk can result in self-doubt and self-criticism or in a continual reinforcement of positive messages.
Cognitive therapy,
Originally developed by psychiatrist Aaron T.
Beck at the University of Pennsylvania,
Can turn the negative thinker into a positive one.
It can help the person who wants to change that internal critic,
That nagging inner voice whose dialogue leads to low-grade depression each time a mistake is made or a challenging situation needs to be faced.
Cognitive therapists have discovered that negative thoughts almost always involve gross distortions and that by recognizing the distorted thought process,
You can then work on eliminating it.
There are six common distortions that encourage a negative attitude.
The first is exaggerating.
Along with grossly overestimating the size of the problem,
You underestimate your ability to deal with it.
You tend to jump to conclusions without enough evidence and believe that your conclusions are correct.
An example of this is the statement,
I can't do my job.
The second distortion is overgeneralizing.
You reach a general conclusion based on particular instances.
An example of overgeneralizing is nothing ever turns out right.
The third distortion is jumping to conclusions.
This distortion has two parts.
The first is mind reading and the second is fortune telling.
A mind reading example is,
He is ignoring me.
It must be something I've done.
A fortune telling example is,
I haven't heard from her.
She must not like me.
The fourth distortion is either or thinking.
In this distortion,
You are making everything black or white with no gray.
An example is,
Either I lose 80 pounds or I'm a failure.
The fifth distortion is ignoring the positive.
You tend to remember only the negatives and view the positives from a negative viewpoint.
This helps you train your negative self-image.
The sixth and last common distortion is personalizing.
You tend to believe that everything revolves around you.
This is,
Of course,
A distortion of the facts.
After a time,
Negative thoughts all sound alike.
This is because they are.
A chief characteristic of negative thoughts is that they're usually wrong.
Negative thoughts are usually automatic.
They leap into your mind.
They are not conclusions you have reached through logic and reason.
How can you go about changing your negative thoughts and put your life and problems into a realistic perspective?
Well,
You need to apply the principle of science to your own thought processes.
To do this,
You follow three steps.
The first step is awareness.
The second is answering negative thoughts and the third is taking action.
Let's discuss these one at a time.
Step 1.
Awareness.
Bring the unfocused negative thoughts to the surface,
To your awareness.
This may take some effort because these thoughts tend to be well disguised.
Try using instant replay.
As soon as you find yourself responding in a negative way,
Think back to what just crossed your mind,
What you just said to yourself.
This will take practice.
However,
This first step is very important.
Step 2.
Answering negative thoughts.
Now that you have identified and clarified the negative thought patterns,
You can answer them.
Do this by asking yourself good questions.
Become thorough,
Concise,
And specific in your questions.
Ask yourself for evidence,
Identify the facts,
And find the distortions.
Step 3 is taking action.
After probing and answering your negative thoughts,
You must now act on these new thoughts and beliefs.
Test them to see if they are really true.
It may feel uncomfortable testing the waters,
But you want to be sure that your new ideas are sound.
Following these steps will allow you to become the positive person you want to be.
A written exercise may help.
Write down a negative thought,
Then determine which distortion it represents.
Develop an alternative thought and decide which action you will use to test it.
Do this with each of your negative thoughts.
