Hi,
This is Claire E.
Parsons,
Lawyer,
Mindfulness and compassion teacher,
Speaker,
And author.
This is a brief self-kindness practice that can help you learn to check in with yourself and identify what you may need.
Now,
This may sound somewhat funny because most adults assume we know what we need.
The truth is,
Though,
That many of us,
Especially lawyers,
May habitually overlook our own needs because we are so busy.
Beyond this,
Most of us are never taught how to recognize our own needs.
In this quick practice,
We'll take a moment to settle and I'll guide you through steps to acknowledge how you are feeling and what you may need next.
This is a great practice for managing stress or just as a quick break from your day.
Let's first get started and come into stillness.
Notice the sounds around you.
Bring attention to your breath or allow your attention to settle on whatever focal point helps you feel calm and steady and supported.
You can close or lower your eyes if that is supportive to you.
Bring attention to your breath and use the exhale to release and sense into the weight of your body sitting in your chair or relaxing on a mattress.
Try that one more time.
Take a slow but full inhale and then slowly release and relax your body as you do.
On each exhale,
Sense into the feeling of weight and stability in your body.
On each exhale,
Connect with the feelings of being held by the chair or whatever is supporting you.
Continue doing that for a moment just to start to relax and start to settle.
If it feels good to you,
Next gently scan through your body and check in for any areas of tension.
If you can,
Allow those areas to release.
If your brow is furrowed,
Allow it to relax and release.
If your jaw is tense,
Unclench it.
If your hands are held taut,
Allow them to relax and rest on your legs.
And check in with your shoulders and allow them to fall back and away from your ears.
Now that we have taken a moment to settle,
It's time to check in with yourself.
Don't worry if you don't quite know how to do this because we'll take it step by step.
First,
Start to look for clues that tell you how you are doing and what you might need.
If you had to rate your experience right now from a 1 to a 5,
What factors would you consider to make that determination?
Possible things that you might consider would be the thoughts that are in your mind,
The feelings and sensations that are in your body.
What kind of thoughts are coming up for you?
What kind of feelings are you experiencing?
What kind of energy is associated with these thoughts or sensations or feelings?
How do they seem to be affecting you?
If nothing is coming up for you right now,
That's okay.
It may mean that you are steady and stable and calm,
Or it could mean that you may need some more exploration or some more time to allow things to reveal themselves.
Once you start to identify these clues,
You can then learn how to pause for a moment to assess what messages they are providing.
Oftentimes we get stuck in the story behind an emotion or a thought or a feeling,
But for this practice,
Instead,
Ask what these thoughts and feelings and sensations are trying to tell you.
Consider them as messages instead of things that are good or bad.
Are they telling you that you could use some kind of support or change?
Are they telling you that you're doing perfectly fine?
Neither answer is wrong or right or better or worse.
You don't actually even have to have a clear answer in this moment,
But the only answer that is right is the true one.
With this new information,
Take a moment here to set an intention to give yourself what you need or a plan for doing that later on if you can't fulfill the need immediately.
That could mean just moving into your next activity if you are ready.
It could also mean seeking support in some resources that work for you.
These might include checking in with loved ones,
Taking a minute to connect with a beloved pet,
Taking a walk outside,
Eating or drinking something,
Moving or stretching,
Connecting with a supportive item,
Or offering yourself a simple statement of self-kindness.
Take a final moment here to congratulate yourself for doing this practice and checking in with how you feel.
Many of us go through a full day without ever doing this,
But if we make this a regular habit,
We can offer ourselves what we need and be more available to the people who rely on us the most.
As we prepare to close,
Take a final deep breath in and fill your lungs up completely.
Hold it for a moment to feel the sense of fullness and then let it go.
And when you are ready,
You can open your eyes.
