When You're Scared To Fail

Does anxiety about a test or performance stop you in your tracks, even when you know your material? A student whose nerves got in the way of her studies learned to turn toward the anxious feeling instead of telling herself to calm down. You are guided through the steps: recall what you are anxious about, say "I am sensing something in me is really anxious," notice where you feel it in your body, and tell it "I really get how anxious you feel, and I am here with you now." Repeat as needed. This content is educational and is not a substitute for one to one professional care.

Transcript

Hi, It's Anne. And I want to talk to you today about a kind of anxiety that can really stop you in your tracks. And how you could feel inner peace instead. Wouldn't that be great? Well, A lot of us get anxious sometimes. I know I do. There's a lot out there to be anxious about. But of course, We know that the feeling of anxiety, The tight shoulders, The beating heart, All of that, Doesn't really help us get safer from the things we're anxious about. So, Maybe we tell ourselves, Calm down, Relax, It's gonna be okay, Nothing to really worry about. Does that help you? Well, It's better than nothing, But. . . I've often found that the part of me that's anxious isn't even touched by that kind of inner talk. Nothing to worry about, Huh, It says, And it grips my chest even tighter. And this is how it was for my student Ashley. Anyone could tell was an intelligent, Motivated young woman. But she wasn't doing well in college. Because she got terribly anxious around taking exams. Before the exam, Ashley would get anxious about whether she would do well. And during the exam, She'd feel a terrible sense of pressure not to mess up. And the anxiety prevented her from concentrating. Accessing the information and intelligence she actually had. And telling herself there was nothing to worry about did not ease the anxiety one bit. So Ashley learned some things from me about finding inner peace with challenging emotions, And she decided to try them out with this anxiety about exams. Well, I'm going to take you through the same process Ashley did with herself. And we can see if it works for you as well. Recall something you're anxious about. Ashley recalled what it was like to be taking an exam. And her body tension shot up and it became harder to breathe. Say the words, I am sensing something in me is really, Really anxious. And pause to feel that the anxious one is part of you, Not all of you. Ashley needed to repeat this several times until it finally sank in that the anxious one inside was a part of her. And at that point, Her breathing eased up slightly. Only slightly, But that's still significant. Three. Ask yourself where in your body you feel that anxious part of you the most. Ashley thought at first it was her whole body, But when she really paused to sense, She could feel it was especially in her chest, Gripping her breathing. Four, Say to the feeling there in that body place that you really, Really get how anxious it feels and that you are here with it now. That's what Ashley said to the gripping tension in her chest. I really, Really get how anxious you feel. And I am here with you now. And at first, She felt no response. It was as if the feeling was so busy being anxious that it couldn't take in that she was there talking to it. So she said it again slowly, Paying attention inside. And again. I really, Really get how anxious you feel. And I am here with you now. And slowly she began to feel a response in her body, A bit of easing, A loosening, And a sense that the anxious part of her was starting to feel that she was here with it. So if you were trying this process yourself, Did you feel some of that too? It can help to let a gentle hand go there to the place where you feel the anxious feeling in your body and just stay with it. With compassionate kindness. So Ashley repeated the process in the days as her next exam got closer. Her body let her know loud and clear when the anxiety was starting up again. And when it did, Ashley found the time to pause and let it know she could really hear how anxious it was and that she was here with it now. And each time, The easing and the loosening got a bit stronger. And the day of the exam dawned, And Ashley still had an anxious part with her. But she really knew it was a part of her, And that was a very different experience. In fact, It felt like the anxious one was a younger part of her, And she could go to the exam while holding the hand of this younger part. Which wasn't the one taking the exam anyway. So remember. To not be taken over by anxiety, To have access to your full intelligence and ability, You can turn toward the anxious part of you and acknowledge how it feels. And that is really different from having anxiety take you over. So here's to you having a more peaceful life.