When Hard Things Happen

What do you do with your feelings when you do not know how things will turn out? Ann Weiser Cornell talks about the stress of uncertainty and what it means to stay present with yourself while it lasts. You are invited to pause, feel your body's support, and sense your throat, chest, and stomach without assuming you already know how you are. She also shows how to say "Yes, I know you're there" to whatever you find, including feelings you have no words for. This content is educational and is not a substitute for one-to-one professional care.

Transcript

Welcome to Support for Stressful Times. I'm Anne Weiser Cornell. And we're here every month. To spend a bit of time together. Pausing, Sensing, Sharing. Our fundamental philosophy is however you are feeling. Is welcome. And that stressful feeling. Are welcome. They belong. We don't try to push feelings away. We have a whole process of turning toward feeling safe. This is the philosophy of inner relationship focusing. Your body is letting you know all the time. How you feel, How it feels, And if you can. If it's a stressful day, Maybe there's stress. You can feel in your body. Let's take a moment and just check in on that. Stressful day? Maybe not. Hope not. Be nice if you're having a nice day. Actually. Whether you're having a nice day or a stressful day or anything in between, Your body is going to be reacting to either one. Either this is great or Too much is going on or something hard just happened. And. Worth doing. Gary. Healing. Life forward direction thing to do. To pause and sense, How am I? Who am I right now? I'll be doing that all the way through this. Webinar, And I'll be inviting you to do that too. Maybe you're doing it right now. Not my right. And we started these webinars. In March 2020, Remember what was happening then. And even though. The global pandemic isn't what it is. Was then, Isn't it? Scary as it was then. Things are still stressful. I hope you're having an easy time right now, But so many things are stressful. The uncertainty of the world we live in. The uncertainty of our own. The uncertainty of the health of our families. And Anne remembers being here at the start. Yeah. Today my theme is. . . When hard things happen. And I was thinking, OK, I want to talk about when hard things happen. And there was a couple of days ago in California, There was a man. Trapped behind a waterfall. You would think it would be if you were behind a waterfall, You got behind the waterfall, It would be easy to get out again, But there was something about this. Water system, How strong the currents were. And once he got there, He couldn't get out. And the story was about him being rescued, And that was a nice, Heartwarming story. Worth thinking. What was that like when he didn't know if he was going to be rescued? He didn't even know if anybody knew where he was. So I think. One of the things. That happens in stressful times is. We get into situations where we don't know. What's going to be the outcome? We don't know. And not knowing. Can be stressful. A couple months ago, I was on the train. From Denmark to Germany, I was. . . Going to a. . . Teacher retreat. It was going to happen that night. It started that night. And I had my train journey all mapped out. It was going to take about. . . Four hours, And it had about. Four. Legs, Three times I had to change trains. But on one of those four train journeys, The train simply stopped and didn't start again. I came on the loudspeaker and said, We have no power. We have no way to get power. This train is finished. 200 people went pouring out of the doors of the train into this tiny station that didn't have doors. Many other options. And the train itself wasn't moving. I didn't have a phone that worked there. Other people had their phones out and they were looking where I was. What else can I do? Had a lot of luggage. So when I remember that time, Right, It all turned out okay, But it took a while. It took hours for. . . The situation too. Resolve itself with a lot of uncertainty. What was going on in me? You know, This is what interests me now, Talking to you, Is the how we are. With ourselves when there is. Stressful uncertainty. Because hard things have happened or hard things might happen. Extreme weather events more than ever before, Where people don't know if they're going to be. House is going to be burned or flooded or something like that. I hope nothing like that happens to you. I'm guessing something like that has happened to some people here. What do we do in? In those cases of stressful uncertainty. Well, We do just what I'm recommending we do right now. Which is. . . Find some. . . Sense of grounding. Hopefully one can sit down. Be present. Here and now. Feel your body's support. Where you're sitting. Imagine, Like tell yourself, Okay, Right now we're slowing down. So it's pausing, Slowing down. If possible, Right? Some emergencies don't allow this to happen. You have to evacuate or get out of there. Here we are, Though. This moment, It's possible to. Sense your body. Your body here and now, And especially this inner area of the body, Throat, Chest, Stomach, Somehow this, Like all of your body is welcome to be felt, Right? If you're getting signals from the back of your neck or your shoulders. Calling to you. Your legs. It's all good, But it's likely that emotional meaning will come in this middle area of the body, Throat, Chest. Solar plexus. Billy. And head away down. How am I right now? Before I learn to do this process. I never. . . I never did that, Right? Life was more. Outer Orient. How do they like me? What's going on for them? That's, That was wonderful. Where am I putting my attention? Learned. To do this focusing thing, This inner sensing. And it was completely new to me and it was really hard to do. Thanks for listening. Like a, Like body? What body? Far as I knew, This was me. Whatever's down there is fine. It goes to the doctor. This is. . . When I learned to say, My body is me, I am my body. That was big. This is all just as me. I'm not just a little, I'm not just a little mind. Sitting on top of. Physical body, The whole thing. The whole thing is. . . Why? Full of intelligence. Full of knowing. You can sense here for an inner sense of rightness. Okay, Well, I was in the middle of, Sorry. Going off on a tangent. We were pausing to sense our bodies. Let's do that a little more. So you're feeling your body. Connected with what you're sitting on. Probably you're sitting, But you might be. Standing or lying down. Most people are sitting. And feel your breathing coming into the inner area of your body, Throat. Chest, Stomach. And then. Not assuming you already know. Why would some see we want our body to communicate with us and and why would it communicate if I go in and I say hi body how are you don't tell me I already know. Let's not know. So this is the state of not knowing. That allows a new step to emerge. I'm bringing awareness. It's just like if you're with a friend. How are you? You don't say, How are you? Don't tell me, I already know. How are you, Bonnie? How is it in the throat, Chest, Stomach, Belly? So I can tell. As I pause right now. There's a lot of peacefulness. In me today. There's some bubbly. Enjoyment. I'm having a good time. And it's great that I'm pausing to notice that because now my having a good time is Multiply. I'm happy. Happy bubbly! Peaceful. And I'm aware. Even better. Even better. It multiplies. But I'm guessing that as you sense your body, All kinds of things are happening. And what I'm inviting you to do, Peace. Get interested and be curious. And stay present. You might have physical conditions that you're aware of. You might be in pain somewhere. And you, And that's it. Physical pain you recognize. Let's say. Stay with that. Acknowledge it. Sense what it's like. Say to it, Yes, I know you're there. You might feel emotional. Reactions in your body. Anxiety. What's anxiety like right now? You might feel Sadness. What would sadness be like right now? You might feel a sense of tension or pressure. Gotta get more done. It took just half an hour for this webinar, But then I got to get back to work. You might be feeling better. Something you don't even have words for, Which is great. Sometimes people say to me. I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm feeling something, But I can't. Can't describe it and I say, That's great. What you can't describe. Something you're undoubtedly feeling. We don't have as many words in our language. English language has a lot of words. We don't have as many words. We don't have nearly as many words in our language. As we have.