8 Hours Of Winnie The Pooh For Sleep

Drift off gently into a deep, restful sleep with the first five Chapters of Winnie The Pooh By A A Milne. This is designed to have on in the background throughout the night as you sleep. Narrated by Andy Hobson

Pooh, a bear of very little brain but great affection for honey, attempts to get honey from a beehive using a balloon, only to fail charmingly. He visits Rabbit, eats far too much, and becomes stuck in the doorway, requiring patience and kindness to set him free. Pooh and Piglet then go “hunting” for a Heffalump.

The story continues with Eeyore losing his tail, which Pooh eventually finds serving as a bell-pull in Owl’s house and returns to its rightful owner. Finally, Piglet believes he has encountered a Heffalump after setting a trap. Christopher Robin clears up the confusion, and fear gives way to laughter.

Transcript

Once upon a time,

A very long time ago now,

About last Friday,

Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest,

All by himself,

Under the name of Sanders.

One day,

When he was out walking,

He came to an open place in the middle of the forest.

And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.

And from the top of the tree there came a loud buzzing noise.

Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree,

Put his head between his paws and began to think.

First of all,

He said to himself,

That buzzing noise means something.

You don't get a buzzing noise like that,

Just buzzing and buzzing,

Without its meaning something.

If there's a buzzing noise,

Somebody's making a buzzing noise.

And the only reason for making a buzzing noise,

That I know of,

Is because you're a bee.

Then he thought another long time,

And said,

And the only reason for being a bee,

That I know of,

Is making honey.

And then he got up and said,

And the only reason for making honey is so that I can eat it.

So he began to climb the tree.

He climbed and he climbed,

And he climbed,

And as he climbed,

He sang a little song to himself.

It went like this.

Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz.

I wonder why he does.

Then he climbed a little further,

And a little further,

And then just a little further.

By that time,

He had thought of another song.

It's a very funny thought,

If bears were bees.

They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.

And that being so,

If the bees were bears,

We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.

He was getting rather tired by this time,

So that is why he sang a complaining song.

He was nearly there now,

And if he just stood on that branch.

Crack.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh,

As he dropped ten feet to the branch below him.

If only I hadn't,

He said,

As he bounced twenty feet on the next branch.

You see,

What I meant to do,

He explained,

As he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch thirty feet below.

What I meant to do,

Of course,

It was rather,

He admitted,

As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.

It all comes,

I suppose,

He decided,

As he said goodbye to the last branch,

Spun round three times,

And flew gracefully into a gorse bush.

It all comes of liking honey so much.

Oh,

Help.

He crawled out of the gorse bush,

Brushed the prickles from his nose,

And began to think again,

And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.

So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin,

Who lived behind a green door in another part of the forest.

Good morning,

Christopher Robin,

He said.

Good morning,

Winnie the Pooh,

Said you.

I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you.

A balloon?

Yes,

I just said to myself coming along,

I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him.

What do you want a balloon for,

You said.

Winnie the Pooh looked round to see that nobody was listening,

Put his paw to his mouth,

And said in a deep whisper,

Honey.

But you don't get honey with balloons.

I do,

Said Pooh.

Well,

It just happened that you had been to a party the day before at the house of your friend Piglet,

And you had balloons at the party.

You'd had big green balloons,

And one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one,

And had left it behind.

And so you had brought the green one and the blue one home with you.

Which one would you like,

You asked Pooh.

He put his head between his paws and thought very carefully.

It's like this,

He said,

When you go after honey with a balloon,

The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming.

Now,

If you have a green balloon,

They might think you are only part of the tree,

And not notice you.

And if you have a blue balloon,

They might think you're only part of the sky,

And not notice you.

And the question is,

Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon,

You asked.

They might,

Or they might not,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

You never can tell with bees,

He thought for a moment and said.

I shall try to look like a small black cloud,

That will deceive them.

Then you had better have the blue balloon,

He said,

And so it was decided.

You both went out with the blue balloon,

And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of,

And rolled and rolled until he was black all over.

And then,

When the balloon was blown up as big as big,

And you and Pooh were both holding on to the string,

You let go suddenly,

And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky,

And stayed there,

Level with the top of the tree,

And about 20 feet away from it.

Hooray,

You shouted.

Isn't that fine,

Shouted Winnie the Pooh,

Down to you.

What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding on to a balloon,

You said.

Not,

Said Pooh anxiously.

Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much.

Oh well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different,

And as I say,

You never can tell with bees.

There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree,

So he stayed.

He could see the honey,

He could smell the honey,

But he couldn't quite reach the honey.

After a little while,

He called down to you.

Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper.

Hello.

I think the bees suspect something.

What sort of thing?

I don't know,

But something tells me that they're suspicious.

Perhaps they think you're after the honey.

It may be that.

You never can tell with bees.

There was another little silence,

And then he called down again.

Christopher Robin.

Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so.

I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it,

And look up at me every now and then,

And say,

It looks like rain.

I think if you did that,

It would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees.

You laughed to yourself.

Silly old bear.

But you didn't say it out loud,

Because you were so fond of him,

And you went home for your umbrella.

Oh,

There you are,

Called down Winnie the Pooh,

As soon as you got back to the tree.

I was beginning to get anxious.

I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious.

Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said.

Yes,

But wait a moment.

We must be practical.

The important bee to deceive is the queen bee.

Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No.

A pity.

Well now,

If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying,

It looks like rain,

I shall do what I can by singing a little cloud song,

Such as a cloud might sing.

So while you're walking up and down,

And wondering if it would rain,

Winnie the Pooh sang this song.

How sweet to be a cloud,

Floating in the blue.

Every little cloud,

Always sings aloud.

How sweet to be a cloud,

Floating in the blue.

To make him very proud,

To be a little cloud.

The bees were still buzzing,

As suspiciously as ever.

Some of them,

Indeed,

Left their nests,

And flew all around the cloud,

As it began the second verse of this song.

And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment,

And then got up again.

Christopher,

Ow,

Robin,

Called the cloud.

Yes?

I have just been thinking,

And I have come to a very important decision.

These are the wrong sort of bees.

Are they?

Quite the wrong sort.

So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey.

Would they?

Yes.

So I think I shall come down now.

How?

You asked.

Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this.

If he let go of the string,

He would fall.

Bump.

And he didn't like the idea of that.

So he thought for a long time.

And then he said,

Christopher Robin,

You must shoot the balloon down with your bee shooter.

Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said.

But if I do that,

It will spoil your balloon,

You said.

But if you don't,

Said Pooh,

I shall have to let go,

And that would spoil me.

When he put it like this,

You saw how it was,

And you aimed very carefully with your bee shooter at the balloon,

And fired.

Ow,

Said Pooh.

Did I miss?

You asked.

You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh,

But you missed the balloon.

I'm so sorry,

You said,

As you fired again with a big puff of breath.

And this time you hit the balloon,

And the air came slowly out,

And Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground.

But his arms were so stiff from holding onto the string of the balloon all that time,

They stayed straight up in the air for more than a week.

And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose,

He had to blow it off.

And I think,

But I'm not sure,

That that is why he was always called Pooh.

Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin.

That's the end of that one.

There are others.

About Pooh and me,

And Piglet,

And Rabbit,

And all of you.

Don't you remember?

I do remember.

And then when I'm trying to remember,

I forget.

And that's why he likes having it told to him again,

Because then it's a real story,

And not just a remembering.

Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh,

Yawned.

And yawns are catching,

So Winnie the Pooh yawned too.

Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin.

Yes,

Said Pooh.

Very much so.

The end.

Edward Bear,

Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh,

Or Pooh for short,

Was walking through the forest one day,

Humming proudly to himself.

He'd made up a little hum that very morning,

As he was doing his stoutness exercises in front of the glass.

Tra-la-la,

Tra-la-la,

As he stretched up as high as he could go.

Tra-la-la.

Oh,

Help,

As he tried to reach his toes.

After breakfast,

He had said it over and over to himself,

Until he had learned it off by heart.

And now he was humming it right through,

Properly.

It went like this.

Tra-la-la,

Tra-la-la,

Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum.

He was humming this hum to himself,

And walking gaily along,

Wondering what everybody else was doing,

And what it felt like,

Being someone else.

When suddenly,

He came to a sandy bank,

And in the bank was a large hole.

Ah-ha,

Said Pooh.

Rum-tiddle-um-tum.

If I know anything about anything,

That hole means rabbit,

He said.

And rabbit means company,

He said.

And company means food.

And listening to me humming,

And such like,

Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.

So he bent down,

Put his head into the hole,

And called out,

Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole,

And then silence.

What I said was,

Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh,

Very loudly.

No,

Said a voice,

And then added,

You needn't shout so loud.

I heard you quite well the first time.

Bother,

Said Pooh.

Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody.

Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole,

And thought for a little.

He thought to himself,

There must be somebody there,

Because somebody must have said nobody.

So he put his head back in the hole,

And said,

Hello rabbit,

Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit,

In a different sort of voice this time.

But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit.

Oh,

Said Pooh.

He took his head out of the hole,

And had another think.

And then he put it back,

And said,

Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear,

Who is a great friend of his.

But this is me,

Said bear,

Very much surprised.

What sort of me?

Pooh Bear.

Are you sure,

Said rabbit,

Still more surprised.

Quite,

Quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear.

Oh,

Well then,

Come in.

So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed,

And pushed his way through the hole,

And at last got in.

You were quite right,

Said rabbit,

Looking at him all over.

It is you,

Glad to see you.

Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure.

You know how it is in the forest,

One can't have anybody coming to one's house,

One has to be careful.

What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o'clock in the morning,

And he was very glad to see rabbit getting out the plates and mugs.

And when rabbit said,

Honey or condensed milk with your bread,

He was so excited that he said,

Both,

And then,

So as not to seem greedy,

He added,

But don't bother about the bread,

Please.

And for a long time after that,

He said nothing.

Until at last,

Humming to himself,

In a rather sticky voice,

He caught up,

Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw,

And said that he must be going on.

Mustn't you,

Said rabbit politely.

Well,

Said Pooh,

I could stay a little longer,

If you,

And he tried very hard to look in the direction of the larder.

As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit,

I was going up myself,

Directly.

Oh well then,

I'll be going on.

Goodbye.

Well,

Goodbye.

If you're sure you won't have any more,

Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly.

Rabbit took the covers off the dishes and said,

No,

There wasn't.

I thought not,

Said Pooh,

Nodding to himself.

Well,

Goodbye.

I must be going on.

So he started to climb out of the hole.

He pulled with his front paws,

And pushed with his back paws.

And in a little while,

His nose was out and he opened again.

And then his ears.

And then his front paws.

And then his shoulders.

And then.

Oh help,

Said Pooh.

I better go back.

Oh bother,

Said Pooh.

I shall have to go on.

I can't do either.

Oh help.

Oh bother.

Now,

By this time,

Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too.

And finding the front door full,

He went out by the back door,

And came round to Pooh,

And looked at him.

Hello.

Are you stuck?

He asked.

No,

Said Pooh carelessly.

Just resting,

I think,

And humming to myself.

Here,

Give us a paw.

Pooh Bear stretched out a paw,

And rabbit pulled,

And pulled,

And pulled.

Ow,

Cried Pooh Bear.

You're hurting.

The fact is,

Said rabbit,

You're stuck.

It all comes,

Said Pooh crossly,

Of not having front doors big enough.

It all comes,

Said rabbit sternly,

Of eating too much.

I thought at the time,

Said rabbit.

Only,

I didn't like to say anything,

That one of us was eating too much.

And I knew it wasn't me,

He said.

Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest.

And when he came back with rabbit,

And saw the front half of Pooh,

He said,

Silly old bear,

In such a loving voice,

That everybody felt quite hopeful again.

I was just beginning to think,

Said bear,

Sniffing slightly,

That rabbit might never be able to use his front door again.

And I should hate that,

He said.

So should I,

Said rabbit.

Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin.

Of course he'll use his front door again.

Good,

Said rabbit.

If we can't pull you out,

Pooh,

We might push you back.

Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully,

And pointed out that,

When once Pooh was pushed back,

He was back.

And of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh,

Than he was.

Still,

It was,

Some lived in trees,

And some undergrowth,

And.

.

.

You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh.

I mean,

Said rabbit,

Having got so far,

It seems a pity to waste it.

Christopher Robin nodded.

Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said.

We shall have to wait for you to get thin again.

How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously.

About a week,

I should think.

But I can't stay here for a week.

You can stay here,

All right,

Silly old bear.

It's getting you out,

Which is difficult.

We'll read to you,

Said rabbit cheerfully.

And I hope it won't snow,

He added.

And I say,

Old fellow,

You're taking up a good deal of room in my house.

Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean,

They are doing nothing,

And it would be very convenient just to hang the towels on them.

A week,

Said Pooh gloomily.

What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin,

Because of getting thin quicker.

But we will read to you.

Bear began to sigh,

And then he found he couldn't,

Because he was so tightly stuck,

And a tear rolled down his eye,

As he said.

Then would you read a sustaining book,

Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear in great tightness?

So for a week,

Christopher Robin read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh,

And rabbit hung his washing on the south end.

And in between,

Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer.

And at the end of the week,

Christopher Robin said,

Now.

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws,

And rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin.

And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of rabbit,

And they all pulled together.

And for a long time,

Pooh only said,

Ow,

And whoa.

And then,

All of a sudden,

He said,

Pop,

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle.

And Christopher Robin and rabbit and all rabbit's friends and relations went head over heels backwards.

And on top of them came Winnie the Pooh,

Free.

So with a nod of thanks to his friends,

He went on with his walk through the forest,

Humming proudly to himself.

But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly,

And said to himself,

Silly old bear.

One fine winter's day,

When Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house,

He happened to look up.

And there was Winnie the Pooh.

Pooh was walking round and round in a circle,

Thinking of something else.

And when Piglet called to him,

He just went on walking.

Hello,

Said Piglet.

What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh.

Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Very mysteriously.

Tracking what,

Said Piglet,

Coming closer.

I shall have to wait until I catch up with it,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Now look there,

He pointed to the ground in front of him.

What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet.

Paw marks.

He gave a little squeak of excitement.

Oh Pooh,

Do you think it's a,

A,

A weasel?

It may be,

Said Pooh.

Sometimes it is,

And sometimes it isn't.

You never can tell with paw marks.

With these few words,

He went on tracking.

And Piglet,

After watching him for a minute or two,

Ran after him.

Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop,

And was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way.

What's the matter?

Asked Piglet.

It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear,

But there seem to be two animals now.

This,

Whatever it is,

Has been joined by another,

Whatever it is,

And the two of them are now proceeding in company.

Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet,

In case they turn out to be hostile animals?

Piglet scratched his ear,

In a nice sort of way.

And said they had nothing to do until Friday,

And would be delighted to come,

In case it really was a weasel.

You mean,

In case it really is two weasels,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

And Piglet said that anyhow,

He had nothing to do until Friday.

So off they went together.

There was a small spinny of larch trees just here,

And it seemed as if the two weasels,

If that is what they were,

Had been going round this spinny.

So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them.

Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh what his grandfather had done to remove stiffness after tracking,

And other matters of interest.

And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like,

And if perhaps this was two grandfathers that they were after now,

And if so,

Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it,

And what Christopher Robin would say.

And still the tracks went on in front of them.

Suddenly,

Winnie the Pooh stopped,

And pointed excitedly in front of him.

Look!

What said Piglet?

With a jump.

And then,

To show that he hadn't been frightened,

He jumped up and down once or twice,

More in an exercising sort of way.

The tracks,

Said Pooh.

A third animal has joined the other two.

Pooh,

Cried Piglet,

Do you think it's another weasel?

No,

Said Pooh,

Because it makes different marks.

Let us continue to follow them.

So they went on,

Feeling just a little bit anxious now,

In case the three animals in front of them were of hostile intent.

And Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robin suddenly,

But quite accidentally,

And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much.

And then,

All of a sudden,

Winnie the Pooh stopped again,

And licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner,

For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before.

There were now four animals in front of them.

Do you see it,

Piglet?

Look at their tracks!

Another weasel has joined them.

And so it seemed to be.

There were the tracks crossing over each other here,

Getting muddled up with each other there.

But,

Quite plainly,

Every now and then,

The tracks of four sets of paws.

I think,

Said Piglet,

When he had licked the tip of his nose too,

And found that it brought very little comfort,

I think I've just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday,

And I shan't be able to do tomorrow.

So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now.

We'll do it this afternoon,

And I'll come with you,

Said Pooh.

It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon,

Said Piglet quickly.

It's a very particular morning thing that I think has to be done in the morning,

And,

If possible,

Between the hours of.

.

.

What would you say the time was?

About twelve,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Looking at the sun.

Between,

As I was saying,

The hours of twelve and twelve-five.

So really,

Dear old Pooh,

If you'll excuse me.

What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky,

And then he heard the whistle again,

And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree.

And then he saw a friend of his.

It's Christopher Robin,

He said.

Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet.

You'll be quite safe with him.

Goodbye.

And he trotted off home as quickly as he could,

Very glad to be out of all danger again.

Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree.

Silly old bear,

He said.

What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself,

And then Piglet ran after you,

And you went round again together,

And then you were just going round a fourth time.

Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Holding up his paw.

He sat down and thought,

In the most thoughtful way he could think.

Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks,

And then he scratched his nose twice,

And stood up.

Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

I see it now.

I've been foolish and deluded,

He said,

And I am a bear of no brain at all.

You're the best bear in all the world,

Said Christopher Robin,

Soothingly.

Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully.

And then he brightened up suddenly.

Anyhow,

He said,

It's nearly lunchtime.

So he went home for it.

The old grey donkey,

Eeyore,

Stood by himself in the thistly corner of the forest,

His front feet well apart,

His head on one side,

And thought about things.

Sometimes he thought sadly to himself,

Why?

And sometimes he thought,

Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.

So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along,

Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little,

In order to say,

How do you do,

In a gloomy manner to him.

And how are you,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Eeyore shook his head from side to side.

Not very well,

He said.

I don't seem to have felt at all well for a long time.

Oh dear,

Said Pooh,

I'm sorry about that.

Let's have a look at you.

So Eeyore stood there,

Gazing sadly at the ground,

And Winnie the Pooh walked all around him once.

What's happened to your tail,

He said in surprise.

What has happened to it,

Said Eeyore.

It isn't there.

Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there,

Or it isn't there.

You can't make a mistake about it,

And yours isn't there.

Then what is?

Nothing.

Let's have a look,

Said Eeyore,

As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago.

And then,

Finding that he couldn't catch it up,

He turned round the other way,

Until he came back to where he was at first.

And then he put his head down,

And looked between his front legs.

And at last he said,

With a long sad sigh,

I believe you're right.

Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh.

That accounts for a good deal,

Said Eeyore gloomily.

It explains everything.

No wonder.

You must have left it somewhere,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Somebody must have taken it,

Said Eeyore.

How like them,

He added,

After a long silence.

Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it,

But didn't quite know what.

So he decided to do something helpful instead.

Eeyore,

He said solemnly,

I,

Winnie the Pooh,

Will find your tail.

Thank you,

Pooh,

Answered Eeyore.

You're a real friend,

He said,

Not like some.

So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail.

It was a fine spring morning in the forest,

As he started out.

Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky,

Skipping from time to time in front of the sun,

As if they had come to put it out,

And then sliding away suddenly,

So that the next might have his turn.

Through them and between them the sun shone bravely,

And a copse,

Which had worn its furs all year round,

Seemed old and dowdy now,

Beside the new green lace,

Which the beaches had put on prettily.

Through the copse and spinny marched Bear,

Down open slopes of gauze and heather,

Over rocky beds of streams,

Up steep banks of sandstone,

Into the heather again.

And so at last,

Tired and hungry,

To the hundred-acre wood,

For it was the hundred-acre wood that Owl lived.

And if anyone knows anything about anything,

Said Bear to himself,

It's Owl who knew something about something,

He said.

Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh,

Which it is,

He added.

So there you are.

Owl lived at the Chestnuts,

An old world residence of great charm,

Which was grander than anybody else's,

Or seemed so to Bear,

Because it had both a knocker and bell pull.

Underneath the knocker there was a notice which said,

Please ring if an answer is required.

Underneath the bell pull there was a notice which said,

Please knock if an answer is not required.

These notices had been written by Christopher Robin,

Who was the only one in the forest who could spell.

For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways,

Able to read and write and spell his own name,

Woll,

It somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like measles and buttered toast.

Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully,

First from left to right,

And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it,

From right to left.

Then,

To make quite sure,

He knocked and pulled the knocker,

And he pulled and knocked the bell rope,

And he called out in a very loud voice,

Owl,

I require an answer.

It's Bear speaking.

And the door opened,

And Owl looked out.

Hello Pooh,

He said.

How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh,

Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine,

Has lost his tail,

And he's moping about it.

So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl,

The customary procedure in such cases is as follows.

What does Cruster Money Proceed Cake mean?

Said Pooh,

For I am a bear of very little brain,

And long words bother me.

It means things to do.

As long as it means that,

I don't mind,

Said Pooh,

Humbly.

The thing to do is as follows.

First,

Issue a reward.

Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh,

Holding up his paw,

What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me.

I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl.

Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't.

You can't sneeze without knowing it.

Well,

You can't know it without something having been sneezed.

What I said was,

First issue a reward.

You're doing it again,

Said Pooh,

Sadly.

A reward,

Said Owl very loudly.

We write a notice to say that we'll give a large something to anybody who finds Eeyore's tale.

I see,

I see,

Said Pooh,

Nodding his head.

Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily,

I generally have a small something about now,

About this time in the morning.

And he looked wistfully at the cupboard in the corner of Owl's parlour.

Just a mouthful of condensed milk,

Or what not,

With perhaps a lick of honey.

Well then,

Said Owl,

We will write out this notice,

And we put it up all over the forest.

A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself,

Or not,

As the case may be.

He gave a deep sigh,

And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying.

But Owl went on and on,

Using longer and longer words,

Until at last he came back to where he had started.

And he explained that the person to write out this notice was Christopher Robin.

It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me.

Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn,

With his eyes shut to all Owl was saying.

And having said yes yes the last time,

He said no,

Not at all,

Without really knowing what Owl was talking about.

Did you see them,

Said Owl,

A little surprised.

Come and look at them now.

So they went outside.

Pooh looked at the knocker,

And the notice below it.

And he looked up at the bellrope,

And the notice below it.

And the more he looked at the bellrope,

The more he felt that he'd seen something like it somewhere else,

Sometime before.

Handsome bellrope,

Isn't it?

Said Owl.

Pooh nodded.

It reminds me of something,

He said.

But I can't think what.

Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest.

It was hanging over a bush,

And I thought at first somebody lived there.

So I rang it,

And nothing happened.

And then I rang it again,

Very loudly,

And it came off in my hand.

And as nobody seemed to want it,

I took it home,

And Owl,

Said solemnly.

You made a mistake.

Somebody did want it.

Who?

Eeyore.

My friend Eeyore.

He was fond of it.

Fond of it?

Attached to it,

Said Winnie the Pooh sadly.

So with these words,

He unhooked it,

And carried it back to Eeyore.

And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on,

In its right place again,

Eeyore frisked about in the forest,

Waving his tail so happily,

That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny,

And had to hurry home for a little snack,

Of something to sustain him.

And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards,

He sang to himself proudly.

Who found the tail?

I said Pooh,

At a quarter to two.

Only,

It was a quarter to eleven really.

I found the tail.

One day,

When Christopher Robin,

And Winnie the Pooh,

And Piglet,

Were all talking together,

Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating,

And said carelessly,

I saw a heffalump today,

Piglet.

What was it doing?

Asked Piglet.

Just lumping around,

Said Christopher Robin.

I don't think it saw me.

I saw one once,

Said Piglet.

At least,

I think I did.

Only,

Perhaps it wasn't.

So did I,

Said Pooh,

Wondering what a heffalump was like.

You don't often see them,

Said Christopher Robin carelessly.

Not now,

Said Piglet.

Not at this time of year,

Said Pooh.

Then they all talked about something else,

Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet to go home together.

At first,

They stomped along the path which edged the hundred acre wood.

They didn't say much to each other,

But when they came to the stream,

And had helped each other across the stepping stones,

And were able to walk side by side again over the heather,

They began to talk in a friendly way about this and that.

And Piglet said,

If you see what I mean,

Pooh.

And Pooh said,

It's just what I think myself,

Piglet.

And Piglet said,

But on the other hand,

Pooh,

We must remember.

And Pooh said,

Quite true,

Piglet.

Although,

I had forgotten it for the moment.

And then,

Just as they came to the six pine trees,

Pooh looked around,

To see that nobody else was listening,

And said in a very solemn voice,

Piglet,

I have decided something.

What have you decided,

Pooh?

I have decided to catch a heather lump.

Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this,

And waited for Piglet to say,

How?

Or,

Pooh,

You couldn't?

Or something helpful of that sort.

But Piglet said nothing.

The fact was,

Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first.

I shall do it,

Said Pooh,

After waiting a little longer.

By means of a trap,

And it must be a cunning trap,

So you will have to help me,

Piglet.

Pooh,

Said Piglet,

Feeling quite happy again now,

I will.

And then he said,

How shall we do it?

And Pooh said,

That's just it.

How?

And then they sat down together to think about it.

Pooh's first idea was that they should dig a very deep pit,

And then the heather lump would come along and fall into the pit.

Why?

Said Piglet.

Why what?

Said Pooh.

Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw,

And said that a heather lump might be walking along,

Humming a little song,

And looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would rain.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that this was a very good trap,

But supposing it were raining already?

Pooh rubbed his nose again,

And said that he hadn't thought of that.

And then he brightened up and said that,

If it were raining already,

The heather lump would be looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would clear up.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that now this point had been explained,

He thought it was a cunning trap.

Pooh was very proud when he heard this,

And felt that the heather lump was as good as caught already.

But there was just one other thing which he hadn't thought about,

And it was this.

Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place would be somewhere where a heather lump was,

Just before he fell into it,

Only about a foot further on.

But then he would see us digging it,

Said Pooh.

Not if he was looking at the sky.

He would suspect,

Said Pooh,

If he happened to look down.

He thought for a long time,

And then added sadly,

It isn't as easy as I thought.

I suppose that's why heather lumps hardly ever get caught.

That must be it,

Said Piglet.

They sighed and got up,

And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves,

They sat down again.

And all the time Pooh was saying to himself,

If only I could think of something.

For he felt sure that a very clever brain could catch a heather lump,

If only he knew the right way to go about it.

Suppose,

He said to Piglet,

You wanted to catch me.

How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet,

I should do it like this.

I should make a trap,

And I should put a jar of honey in the trap,

And you would smell it,

And you would go after it.

And,

And I would go in after it,

Said Pooh excitedly,

Only very carefully,

So as not to hurt myself.

And I would get to the jar of honey,

And I should lick round the edges first of all,

Pretending that there wasn't any more,

You know.

And then I should walk away,

And think about it a little,

And then I should come back,

And start licking in the middle of the jar.

And then,

Never mind about that,

There you would be,

And there I should catch you.

Now,

The first thing to think of is,

What do heather lumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say,

Wake up Pooh.

Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream,

Woke up with a start,

And said that honey was a much more trappy thing than acorns.

Piglet didn't think so,

And they were just going to argue about it,

When Piglet remembered that,

If they put acorns in the trap,

He would have to find the acorns.

But if they put honey,

Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey.

So he said,

Alright,

Honey then,

Just as Pooh remembered it too,

And was going to say,

Alright,

Acorns.

Honey,

Said Piglet to himself,

In a thoughtful way,

As if it were now settled.

I'll dig the pit,

While you go and get the honey.

Very well,

Said Pooh,

As he stumped off.

As soon as he got home,

He went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And took down a very large jar of honey,

From the top of the shelf.

It had honey written on it,

But,

Just to make sure,

He took off the paper cover,

And looked at it.

And it looked just like honey.

But you never can tell,

Said Pooh.

I remember my uncle saying once,

That he had seen cheese,

Just this colour.

So he put his tongue in,

And took a large lick.

Yes,

He said,

It is.

No doubt about that.

And honey,

I should say,

Right down to the bottom of the jar.

Unless,

Of course,

He said,

Somebody put cheese at the bottom,

Just for a joke.

Perhaps I had better go a little further.

Just in case.

In case heffalumps don't like cheese.

Same as me.

Then he gave a deep sigh.

I was right.

It is honey.

Right the way down.

Having made certain of this,

He took the jar back to Piglet.

And Piglet looked up from the bottom of his very deep pit,

And said,

Got it?

And Pooh said,

Yes.

But it isn't quite a full jar.

And he threw it down to Piglet.

And Piglet said,

No it isn't.

Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said,

Yes.

So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit,

And climbed out.

And they went off home together.

Well,

Goodnight Pooh,

Said Piglet,

When they had got to Pooh's house.

And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning,

By the pine trees,

And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap.

Six o'clock,

Piglet.

And have you got any string?

No.

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with.

Oh.

I think heffalumps come if you whistle.

Some do.

Some don't.

You never can tell with heffalumps.

Well,

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

And off Piglet trotted to his house,

While Pooh made his preparations for bed.

Some hours later,

Just as the night was beginning to steal away,

Pooh woke up suddenly,

With a sinking feeling.

He had had that sinking feeling before,

And he knew what it meant.

He was hungry.

So he went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And reached up to the top.

And found nothing.

That's funny,

He thought.

I know I had a jar of honey there.

A full jar,

Full of honey,

Right up to the top.

And it had honey written on it,

So that I should know it was honey.

That's very funny.

Then he began to wander up and down,

Wondering where it was,

And murmuring a murmur to himself,

Like this.

It's very,

Very funny,

Cause I know I had some honey,

Cause it had a label on,

Saying honey.

Like a loptuous full up pot too,

And I don't know where it's got to.

No,

I don't know where it's gone.

Well,

It's funny.

He had murmured this to himself three times,

In a singing sort of way,

When suddenly he remembered he had put it into the cunning trap to catch the heffa-lump.

Oh bother,

Said Pooh,

It all comes from trying to be kind to heffa-lumps.

And he got back into bed,

But he couldn't sleep.

The more he tried to sleep,

The more he couldn't.

He tried counting sheep,

Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep.

And as that was no good,

He tried counting heffa-lumps.

And that was worse,

Because every heffa-lump that he counted was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey,

And eating it all.

For some minutes he lay there miserably,

But when the 587th heffa-lump was licking its jaws,

And saying to itself,

Very good honey this,

I don't know when I've tasted better,

Pooh could bear it no longer.

He jumped out of bed,

He ran out of the house,

And he ran straight to the six pine trees.

The sun was still in bed,

But there was a lightness in the sky over the hundred acre wood,

Which seemed to show that it was waking up,

And would soon be kicking off the clothes in the half-light.

The pine trees looked cold and lonely,

And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was.

And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom was something mysterious,

A shape,

And no more.

But as he got nearer to it,

His nose told him that it was indeed honey,

And his tongue came out and began to polish up his mouth,

Ready for it.

Bother,

Said Pooh,

As he got his nose inside the jar,

A heffa-lump has been eating it.

And then he thought a little and said,

Oh no,

I did,

I forgot.

Indeed,

He had eaten most of it,

But there was a little left at the very bottom of the jar,

And he pushed his head right in,

And began to lick.

By and by,

Piglet woke up.

As soon as he woke,

He said to himself,

Oh.

And then he said,

Yes.

And then,

Still more bravely,

Quite so.

But he didn't feel very brave,

For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain was heffa-lumps.

What was a heffa-lump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs,

Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs,

Would it make any difference if the pig had a grandfather called Trespassers William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions,

And he was going to see his first heffa-lump in about an hour from now.

Of course,

Pooh would be with him,

And it was much more friendly with two.

But suppose heffa-lumps were very fierce with pigs and bears.

Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a headache and couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose that it was a very fine day,

And there was no heffa-lump in the trap.

Here he would be,

In bed all morning,

Simply wasting his time for nothing.

What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea.

He would go up very quietly to the six pine trees now,

Peep very cautiously into the trap,

And see if there was a heffa-lump there.

And if there was,

He would go back to bed.

And if there wasn't,

He wouldn't.

So off he went.

At first,

He thought that there wouldn't be a heffa-lump in the trap,

And then he thought that there would.

And as he got nearer,

He was sure that there would,

Because he could hear it heffa-lumping about like anything.

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Said Piglet to himself.

And now he wanted to run away.

But somehow,

Having got so near,

He felt that he must just see what a heffa-lump was like.

So he crept to the side of the trap,

And looked in.

And all the time,

Winnie the Pooh had been trying to get the honey jar off his head.

The more he shook it,

The more tightly it stuck.

Father,

He said,

Inside the jar.

And,

Oh help.

And mostly,

Ow.

And he tried bumping it against things,

But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against,

And it didn't help him.

And he tried to climb out of the trap,

But he could see nothing but jar,

And not much of that.

He couldn't find his way.

So at last,

He lifted up his head,

Jar and all,

And made a loud roaring noise of sadness and despair.

And it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.

Help,

Help,

Cried Piglet.

A heffa-lump,

A horrible heffa-lump.

And he scarpered off as hard as he could,

Still crying out,

Help,

Help,

A horrible heffa-lump,

A horrible hoffa-lump,

Hoff,

Hoff,

A hellable horror-lump,

Ho,

Ho,

A hoffable hella-lump.

And he didn't stop crying and scampering,

Until he got to Christopher Robin's house.

Whatever is the matter,

Piglet,

Said Christopher Robin,

Who was just getting up.

Heff,

Heff,

Said Piglet,

Breathing so hard that he could hardly speak.

A heff,

A heff,

A heffa-lump.

Where?

Up there,

Said Piglet,

Waving his paw.

Well,

What did it look like?

Like,

Like,

It had the biggest head you ever saw,

Christopher Robin.

A great enormous thing,

Like,

Like nothing.

A huge big,

Well,

Like a,

I don't know,

Like an enormous big nothing,

Like a jar.

Well,

Said Christopher Robin,

Putting on his shoes,

I shall go and look at it.

Come on.

Piglet wasn't afraid if he had Christopher Robin with him,

So off they went.

I can hear it.

Can you?

Said Piglet,

Anxiously,

As they got near.

I can hear something,

Said Christopher Robin.

It was Pooh,

Bumping his head against a tree root he had found.

There,

Said Piglet,

Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand.

Suddenly,

Christopher Robin began to laugh.

He laughed and he laughed and he laughed.

And while he was still laughing,

Crash went the heffa-lump's head against the tree root.

Smash went the jar and out came Pooh's head again.

Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been and he was so ashamed of himself that he ran straight off home and went to bed with a headache.

But Christopher Robin and Pooh followed Piglet home and made him a special breakfast and told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all and that they both love him very much.

Once upon a time,

A very long time ago now,

About last Friday,

Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest all by himself,

Under the name of Sanders.

One day,

When he was out walking,

He came to an open place in the middle of the forest.

And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.

And from the top of the tree,

There came a loud buzzing noise.

Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree,

Put his head between his paws and began to think.

First of all,

He said to himself,

That buzzing noise means something.

You don't get a buzzing noise like that,

Just buzzing and buzzing,

Without its meaning something.

If there's a buzzing noise,

Somebody's making a buzzing noise.

And the only reason for making a buzzing noise,

That I know of,

Is because you're a bee.

Then he thought another long time and said,

And the only reason for being a bee,

That I know of,

Is making honey.

And then he got up and said,

And the only reason for making honey is so that I can eat it.

So he began to climb the tree.

He climbed and he climbed and he climbed.

And as he climbed,

He sang a little song to himself.

It went like this.

Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey,

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz.

I wonder why he does.

Then he climbed a little further,

And a little further,

And then just a little further.

By that time,

He had thought of another song.

It's a very funny thought,

If bears were bees,

They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.

And that being so,

If the bees were bears,

We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.

He was getting rather tired by this time,

So that is why he sang a complaining song.

He was nearly there now,

And if he just stood on that branch,

Crack.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh,

As he dropped ten feet to the branch below him.

If only I hadn't,

He said,

As he bounced twenty feet on the next branch.

You see,

What I meant to do,

He explained,

As he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch,

Thirty feet below.

What I meant to do,

Of course,

It was rather,

He admitted,

As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.

It all comes,

I suppose,

He decided,

As he said goodbye to the last branch,

Spun round three times,

And flew gracefully into a gorse bush.

It all comes of liking honey so much.

Oh,

Help.

He crawled out of the gorse bush,

Brushed the prickles from his nose,

And began to think again,

And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.

So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin,

Who lived behind a green door in another part of the forest.

Good morning,

Christopher Robin,

He said.

Good morning,

Winnie the Pooh,

Said you.

I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you.

A balloon?

Yes,

I just said to myself coming along,

I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him.

What do you want a balloon for,

You said.

Winnie the Pooh looked round to see that nobody was listening,

Put his paw to his mouth,

And said in a deep whisper,

Honey.

But you don't get honey with balloons.

I do,

Said Pooh.

Well,

It just happened that you had been to a party the day before at the house of your friend Piglet,

And you had balloons at the party.

You'd had big green balloons,

And one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one and had left it behind.

And so you had brought the green one and the blue one home with you.

Which one would you like,

You asked Pooh.

He put his head between his paws and thought very carefully.

It's like this,

He said,

When you go after honey with a balloon,

The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming.

Now,

If you have a green balloon,

They might think you are only part of the tree and not notice you.

And if you have a blue balloon,

They might think you're only part of the sky and not notice you.

And the question is,

Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon,

You asked.

They might,

Or they might not,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

You never can tell with bees.

He thought for a moment and said,

I shall try to look like a small black cloud that will deceive them.

Then you had better have the blue balloon,

He said.

And so it was decided.

You both went out with the blue balloon,

And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of and rolled and rolled until he was black all over.

And then when the balloon was blown up as big as big,

And you and Pooh were both holding onto the string,

You let go suddenly.

And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there,

Level with the top of the tree,

And about 20 feet away from it.

Hooray,

You shouted.

Isn't that fine,

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you.

What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding onto a balloon,

You said.

Not,

Said Pooh anxiously.

Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much.

Oh well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different.

And as I say,

You never can tell with bees.

There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree.

So he stayed.

He could see the honey.

He could smell the honey.

But he couldn't quite reach the honey.

After a little while,

He called down to you.

Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper.

Hello.

I think the bees suspect something.

What sort of thing?

I don't know.

But something tells me that they're suspicious.

Perhaps they think you're after the honey.

It may be that.

You never can tell with bees.

There was another little silence.

And then he called down again.

Christopher Robin?

Yes.

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so.

I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it and look up at me every now and then and say,

It looks like rain.

I think if you did that,

It would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees.

You laughed to yourself.

Silly old bear.

But you didn't say it out loud because you were so fond of him.

And you went home for your umbrella.

Oh,

There you are,

Called down Winnie the Pooh as soon as you got back to the tree.

I was beginning to get anxious.

I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious.

Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said.

Yes.

But wait a moment.

We must be practical.

The important bee to deceive is the queen bee.

Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No.

A pity.

Well,

Now,

If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying,

It looks like rain,

I shall do what I can by singing a little cloud song,

Such as a cloud might sing.

So while you're walking up and down and wondering if it would rain,

Winnie the Pooh sang this song.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.

Every little cloud always sings aloud.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.

To make him very proud to be a little cloud.

The bees were still buzzing as suspiciously as ever.

Some of them indeed left their nests and flew all around the cloud as it began the second verse of this song.

And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment and then got up again.

Christopher.

Ow.

Robin,

Called the cloud.

Yes,

I have just been thinking and have come to a very important decision.

These are the wrong sort of bees.

Are they?

Quite the wrong sort.

So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey.

Would they?

Yes.

So I think I shall come down now.

How?

You asked.

Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this.

If you let go of the string,

He would fall.

Bump.

And he didn't like the idea of that.

So he thought for a long time.

And then he said,

Christopher Robin,

You must shoot the balloon down with your pea shooter.

Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said.

But if I do that,

It will spoil your balloon,

You said.

But if you don't,

Said Pooh,

I shall have to let go.

And that would spoil me.

When he put it like this,

You saw how it was and you aimed very carefully with your pea shooter at the balloon and fired.

Ow,

Said Pooh.

Did I miss?

You asked.

You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh.

But you missed the balloon.

I'm so sorry,

You said,

As you fired again with a big puff of breath.

And this time you hit the balloon and the air came slowly out and Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground.

But his arms were so stiff from holding onto the string of the balloon all that time,

They stayed straight up in the air for more than a week.

And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose,

He had to blow it off.

And I think,

But I'm not sure,

That that is why he was always called Pooh.

Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin.

That's the end of that one.

There are others.

About Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and all of you.

Don't you remember?

I do remember.

And then when I'm trying to remember,

I forget.

And that's why he likes having it told to him again,

Because then it's a real story and not just a remembering.

Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh,

Yawned.

And yawns are catching,

So Winnie the Pooh yawned too.

Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin.

Yes,

Said Pooh.

Very much so.

The end.

Edward Bear,

Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh,

Or Pooh for short,

Was walking through the forest one day,

Humming proudly to himself.

He had made up a little hum that very morning as he was doing his stoutness exercises in front of the glass.

Tra-la-la,

Tra-la-la,

As he stretched up as high as he could go.

Tra-la-la,

Oh help,

As he tried to reach his toes.

After breakfast,

He had said it over and over to himself until he had learned it off by heart.

And now he was humming it right through,

Properly.

It went like this.

Tra-la-la,

Tra-la-la,

Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum.

He was humming this hum to himself and walking gaily along,

Wondering what everybody else was doing and what it felt like being someone else.

And suddenly,

He came to a sandy bank.

And in the bank was a large hole.

Ah-ha,

Said Pooh.

Rum-tiddle-um-tum.

If I know anything about anything,

That hole means rabbit,

He said.

And rabbit means company,

He said.

And company means food.

And listening to me humming,

And such like,

Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.

So he bent down,

Put his head into the hole,

And called out,

Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole,

And then silence.

What I said was,

Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh,

Very loudly.

No,

Said the voice,

And then added,

You needn't shout so loud.

I heard you quite well the first time.

Bother,

Said Pooh.

Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody.

Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole and thought for a little.

He thought to himself,

There must be somebody there,

Because somebody must have said nobody.

So he put his head back in the hole and said,

Hello rabbit,

Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit,

In a different sort of voice this time.

But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit.

Oh,

Said Pooh.

He took his head out of the hole and had another think.

And then he put it back and said,

Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear,

Who is a great friend of his.

But this is me,

Said Bear,

Very much surprised.

What sort of me?

Pooh Bear.

Are you sure,

Said rabbit,

Still more surprised.

Quite,

Quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear.

Oh,

Well then,

Come in.

So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed and pushed his way through the hole and at last got in.

You were quite right,

Said rabbit,

Looking at him all over.

It is you.

Glad to see you.

Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure.

You know how it is in the forest.

One can't have anybody coming to one's house.

One has to be careful.

What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something at 11 o'clock in the morning and he was very glad to see rabbit getting out the plates and mugs.

And when rabbit said,

Honey or condensed milk with your bread?

He was so excited that he said,

Both.

And then,

So as not to seem greedy,

He added,

But don't bother about the bread,

Please.

And for a long time after that,

He said nothing.

Until at last,

Humming to himself,

In a rather sticky voice,

He caught up,

Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw and said that he must be going on.

Mustn't you,

Said rabbit politely.

Well,

Said Pooh,

I could stay a little longer.

If you,

And he tried very hard to look in the direction of the larder.

As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit,

I was going up myself directly.

Oh,

Well,

Then I'll be going on.

Goodbye.

Well,

Goodbye.

If you're sure you don't have any more,

Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly.

Rabbit took the covers off the dishes and said,

No,

There wasn't.

I thought not,

Said Pooh,

Nodding to himself.

Well,

Goodbye.

I must be going on.

So he started to climb out of the hole.

He pulled with his front paws and pushed with his back paws.

And in a little while,

His nose was out and he opened again.

And then his ears and then his front paws and then his shoulders and then.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh.

I better go back.

Oh,

Bother,

Said Pooh.

I shall have to go on.

I can't do either.

Oh,

Help.

Oh,

Bother.

Now,

By this time,

Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too.

And finding the front door full,

He went out by the back door and came around to Pooh and looked at him.

Hello.

Are you stuck?

He asked.

No,

Said Pooh carelessly.

Just resting,

I think,

And humming to myself.

Here,

Give us a paw.

Pooh Bear stretched out a paw and rabbit pulled and pulled and pulled.

Oh,

Cried Pooh Bear.

You're hurting.

The fact is,

Said Rabbit,

You're stuck.

It all comes,

Said Pooh crossly,

Of not having front doors big enough.

It all comes,

Said Rabbit sternly,

Of eating too much.

I thought at the time,

Said Rabbit,

Only I didn't like to say anything,

That one of us was eating too much.

And I knew it wasn't me,

He said.

Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest.

And when he came back with Rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh,

He said,

Silly old Bear,

In such a loving voice that everybody felt quite hopeful again.

I was just beginning to think,

Said Bear,

Sniffing slightly,

That Rabbit might never be able to use his front door again.

And I should hate that,

He said.

So should I,

Said Rabbit.

Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin.

Of course he'll use his front door again.

Good,

Said Rabbit.

If we can't pull you out,

Pooh,

We might push you back.

Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully and pointed out that,

When once Pooh was pushed back,

He was back.

And of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh than he was.

Still,

It was.

Some lived in trees and some undergrowth and.

.

.

You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh.

I mean,

Said Rabbit,

Having got so far,

It seems a pity to waste it.

Christopher Robin nodded.

Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said.

We shall have to wait for you to get thin again.

How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously.

About a week,

I should think.

But I can't stay here for a week.

You can stay here,

All right,

Silly old Bear.

It's getting you out which is difficult.

We'll read you,

Said Rabbit cheerfully.

And I hope it won't snow,

He added.

And I say,

Old fellow,

You're taking up a good deal of room in my house.

Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean,

They are doing nothing and it would be very convenient just to hang the towels on them.

A week,

Said Pooh gloomily.

What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin,

Because of getting thin quicker.

But we will read to you.

Bear began to sigh.

And then he found he couldn't,

Because he was so tightly stuck.

And a tear rolled down his eye,

As he said.

Then would you read a sustaining book,

Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear in great tightness?

So for a week,

Christopher Robin read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh.

And Rabbit hung his washing on the south end.

And in between,

Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer.

And at the end of the week,

Christopher Robin said,

Now.

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws,

And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin.

And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit.

And they all pulled together.

And for a long time,

Pooh only said,

How and whoa.

And then all of a sudden,

He said,

Pop,

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle.

And Christopher Robin and Rabbit,

And all Rabbit's friends and relations,

Went head over heels backwards.

And on top of them came Winnie the Pooh,

Free.

So with a nod of thanks to his friends,

He went on with his walk through the forest,

Humming proudly to himself.

But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly,

And said to himself,

Silly old bear.

One fine winter's day,

When Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house,

He happened to look up.

And there was Winnie the Pooh.

Pooh was walking round and round in a circle,

Thinking of something else.

And when Piglet called to him,

He just went on walking.

Hello,

Said Piglet.

What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh.

Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Very mysteriously.

Tracking what,

Said Piglet,

Coming closer.

I shall have to wait until I catch up with it,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Now look there.

He pointed to the ground in front of him.

What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet.

Poor Marks.

He gave a little squeak of excitement.

Oh Pooh,

Do you think it's a,

A,

Woosel?

It may be,

Said Pooh.

Sometimes it is,

And sometimes it isn't.

You never can tell with poor Marks.

With these few words,

He went on tracking.

And Piglet,

After watching him for a minute or two,

Ran after him.

Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop,

And was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way.

What's the matter?

Asked Piglet.

It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear,

But there seem to be two animals now.

This,

Whatever it is,

Has been joined by another,

Whatever it is,

And the two of them are now proceeding in company.

Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet,

In case they turn out to be hostile animals?

Piglet scratched his ear,

In a nice sort of way,

And said that he had nothing to do until Friday,

And would be delighted to come,

In case it really was a woosel.

You mean in case it really is two woosels,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

And Piglet said that anyhow,

He had nothing to do until Friday.

So off they went together.

There was a small spinny of large trees just here,

And it seemed as if the two woosels,

If that is what they were,

Had been going round this spinny.

So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them.

Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh what his grandfather had done to remove stiffness after tracking,

And other matters of interest.

And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like,

And if perhaps this was two grandfathers that they were after now,

And if so,

Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it,

And what Christopher Robin would say.

And still the tracks went on in front of them.

Suddenly,

Winnie the Pooh stopped,

And pointed excitedly in front of him.

Look!

What,

Said Piglet,

With a jump.

And then,

To show that he hadn't been frightened,

He jumped up and down once or twice,

More in an exercising sort of way.

The tracks,

Said Pooh.

A third animal has joined the other two.

Pooh,

Cried Piglet,

Do you think it's another woosel?

No,

Said Pooh,

Because it makes different marks.

Let us continue to follow them.

So they went on,

Feeling just a little bit anxious now,

In case the three animals in front of them were of hostile intent.

And Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robin suddenly,

But quite accidentally,

And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much.

And then,

All of a sudden,

Winnie the Pooh stopped again,

And licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner,

For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before.

There were now four animals in front of them.

Do you see it,

Piglet?

Look at their tracks.

Another woosel has joined them.

And so it seemed to be.

There were the tracks crossing over each other here,

Getting muddled up with each other there.

But,

Quite plainly every now and then,

The tracks of four sets of paws.

I think,

Said Piglet,

When he had licked the tip of his nose too,

And found that it brought very little comfort.

I think I've just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday,

And I shan't be able to do tomorrow.

So I suppose,

I really ought to go back and do it now.

We'll do it this afternoon,

And I'll come with you,

Said Pooh.

It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon,

Said Piglet quickly.

It's a very particular morning thing that I think has to be done in the morning,

And if possible,

Between the hours of,

What would you say the time was?

About twelve,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Looking at the sun.

Between,

As I was saying,

The hours of twelve,

And twelve-five.

So really,

Dear old Pooh,

If you'll excuse me.

What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky,

And then he heard the whistle again,

And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree,

And then he saw a friend of his.

It's Christopher Robin,

He said.

Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet.

You'll be quite safe with him.

Goodbye.

And he trotted off home as quickly as he could,

Very glad to be out of all danger again.

Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree.

Silly old bear,

He said.

What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself,

And then Piglet ran after you,

And you went round again together,

And then you were just going round a fourth time.

Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Holding up his paw.

He sat down and thought,

In the most thoughtful way he could think.

Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks,

And then he scratched his nose twice,

And stood up.

Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

I see it now.

I've been foolish and deluded,

He said,

And I am a bear of no brain at all.

You're the best bear in all the world,

Said Christopher Robin,

Soothingly.

Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully,

And then he brightened up suddenly.

Anyhow,

He said,

It's nearly lunchtime,

So he went home for it.

The old grey donkey,

Eeyore,

Stood by himself in the thistly corner of the forest,

His front feet well apart,

His head on one side,

And thought about things.

Sometimes he thought sadly to himself,

Why?

And sometimes he thought,

Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.

So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along,

Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little,

In order to say,

How do you do,

In a gloomy manner to him.

And how are you,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Eeyore shook his head from side to side.

Not very how,

He said.

I don't seem to have felt at all how,

For a long time.

Oh dear,

Said Pooh,

I'm sorry about that.

Let's have a look at you.

So Eeyore stood there,

Gazing sadly at the ground,

And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once.

What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise.

What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore.

It isn't there.

Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there,

Or it isn't there.

You can't make a mistake about it,

And yours isn't there.

Then what is?

Nothing.

Let's have a look,

Said Eeyore,

As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago.

And then,

Finding that he couldn't catch it up,

He turned round the other way,

Until he came back to where he was at first.

And then he put his head down,

And looked between his front legs.

And at last,

He said,

With a long sad sigh,

I believe you're right.

Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh.

That accounts for a good deal,

Said Eeyore gloomily.

It explains everything.

No wonder.

You must have left it somewhere,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Somebody must have taken it,

Said Eeyore.

How like them,

He added,

After a long silence.

Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it,

But didn't quite know what.

So he decided to do something helpful instead.

Eeyore,

He said solemnly,

I,

Winnie the Pooh,

Will find your tail.

Thank you,

Pooh,

Answered Eeyore.

You're a real friend,

He said,

Not like some.

So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail.

It was a fine spring morning in the forest,

As he started out.

Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky,

Skipping from time to time in front of the sun,

As if they had come to put it out,

And then sliding away suddenly,

So that the next might have his turn.

Through them,

And between them,

The sun shone bravely,

And a copse,

Which had worn its furs all year round,

Seemed old and dowdy now,

Beside the new green lace which the beaches had put on prettily.

Through the copse and spinny marched Bear,

Down open slopes of gores and heather,

Over rocky beds of streams,

Up steep banks of sandstone,

Into the heather again,

And so at last,

Tired and hungry,

To the hundred-acre wood,

For it was the hundred-acre wood that Owl lived,

And if anyone knows anything about anything,

Said Bear to himself,

It's Owl who knew something about something,

He said,

Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh,

Which it is,

He added,

So there you are.

Owl lived at the chestnuts,

An old world residence of great charm,

Which was grander than anybody else's,

Or seemed so to Bear,

Because it had both a knocker and bell-pool.

Underneath the knocker,

There was a notice which said,

Please ring if an answer is required.

Underneath the bell-pool,

There was a notice which said,

Please knock if an answer is not required.

These notices had been written by Christopher Robin,

Who was the only one in the forest who could spell,

For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways,

Able to read and write and spell his own name,

Woll,

Yet somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like measles and buttered toast.

Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully,

First from left to right,

And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it,

From right to left.

Then,

To make quite sure,

He knocked and pulled the knocker,

And he pulled and knocked the bell-rope,

And he called out in a very loud voice,

Owl,

I require an answer,

It's Bear speaking,

And the door opened,

And Owl looked out.

Hello,

Pooh,

He said,

How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh,

Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine,

Has lost his tail,

And he's moping about it,

So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl,

The customary procedure in such cases is as follows.

What does crusty money proceed cake mean,

Said Pooh,

For I am a bear of very little brain,

And long words bother me.

It means things to do,

As long as it means that,

I don't mind,

Said Pooh,

Humbly.

The thing to do is as follows.

First,

Issue a reward,

Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh,

Holding up his paw.

What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me.

I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl.

Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't.

You can't sneeze without knowing it.

Well,

You can't know it without something having been sneezed.

What I said was,

First issue a reward.

You're doing it again,

Said Pooh,

Sadly.

A reward,

Said Owl,

Very loudly.

We write a notice to say that we'll give a large something to anybody who finds Eeyore's tail.

I see,

I see,

Said Pooh,

Nodding his head.

Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily.

I generally have a small something about now,

About this time in the morning.

And he looked wistfully at the cupboard in the corner of Owl's parlour.

Just a mouthful of condensed milk,

Or what not,

With perhaps a lick of honey?

Well then,

Said Owl,

We will write out this notice,

And we put it up all over the forest.

A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself,

Or,

Or not,

As the case may be.

He gave a deep sigh,

And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying.

But Owl went on and on,

Using longer and longer words,

Until at last he came back to where he had started.

And he explained that the person to write out this notice was Christopher Robin.

It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me.

Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn,

With his eyes shut,

To all that Owl was saying.

And having said yes yes the last time,

He said no,

Not at all,

Without really knowing what Owl was talking about.

Did you see them,

Said Owl,

A little surprised.

Come and look at them now.

So they went outside.

Pooh looked at the knocker,

And the notice below it.

And he looked up at the bell rope,

And the notice below it.

And the more he looked at the bell rope,

The more he felt that he'd seen something like it somewhere else,

Sometime before.

Handsome bell rope,

Isn't it?

Said Owl.

Pooh nodded.

It reminds me of something he said.

But I can't think what.

Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest.

It was hanging over a bush,

And I thought at first somebody lived there.

So I rang it.

And nothing happened.

And then I rang it again,

Very loudly.

And it came off in my hand.

And as nobody seemed to want it,

I took it home,

And.

.

.

Owl,

Said Pooh solemnly,

You made a mistake.

Somebody did want it.

Who?

Eeyore.

My friend Eeyore.

He was fond of it.

Fond of it?

Attached to it,

Said Winnie the Pooh sadly.

So with these words,

He unhooked it,

And carried it back to Eeyore.

And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on,

In its right place again,

Eeyore frisked about in the forest,

Waving his tail so happily,

That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny,

And had to hurry home for a little snack,

Of something to sustain him.

And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards,

He sang to himself proudly.

Pooh found the tail,

I said Pooh,

At a quarter to two.

Only,

It was a quarter to eleven really.

I found the tail.

One day,

When Christopher Robin,

And Winnie the Pooh,

And Piglet,

Were all talking together,

Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating,

And said carelessly,

I saw a heffalump today Piglet.

What was it doing?

Asked Piglet.

Just lumping around,

Said Christopher Robin.

I don't think it saw me.

I saw one once,

Said Piglet.

At least,

I think I did.

Only,

Perhaps it wasn't.

So did I,

Said Pooh,

Wondering what a heffalump was like.

You don't often see them,

Said Christopher Robin carelessly.

Not now,

Said Piglet.

Not at this time of year,

Said Pooh.

Then they all talked about something else,

Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet to go home together.

At first,

They stomped along the path which edged the hundred acre wood.

They didn't say much to each other,

But when they came to the stream,

And had helped each other across the stepping stones,

And were able to walk side by side again over the heather,

They began to talk in a friendly way about this and that.

And Piglet said,

If you see what I mean Pooh.

And Pooh said,

It's just what I think myself Piglet.

And Piglet said,

But on the other hand,

Pooh we must remember.

And Pooh said,

Quite true Piglet,

Although I had forgotten it for the moment.

And then,

Just as they came to the six pine trees,

Pooh looked around to see that nobody else was listening,

And said in a very solemn voice,

Piglet,

I have decided something.

What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided to catch a heffalump.

Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this,

And waited for Piglet to say,

How?

Or,

Pooh you couldn't.

Or something helpful of that sort.

But Piglet said nothing.

The fact was,

Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first.

I shall do it,

Said Pooh,

After waiting a little longer.

By means of a trap,

And it must be a cunning trap,

So you will have to help me Piglet.

Pooh,

Said Piglet,

Feeling quite happy again now,

I will,

And then he said,

How shall we do it?

And Pooh said,

That's just it.

How?

And then they sat down together to think about it.

Pooh's first idea was that they should dig a very deep pit,

And then the heffalump would come along and fall into the pit.

Why?

Said Piglet.

Why what?

Said Pooh.

Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw,

And said,

That a heffalump might be walking along,

Humming a little song,

And looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would rain.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit,

Until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that this was a very good trap,

But supposing it were raining already?

Pooh rubbed his nose again,

And said that he hadn't thought of that.

And then he brightened up and said that,

If it were raining already,

The heffalump would be looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would clear up.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit,

Until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that now this point had been explained,

He thought it was a cunning trap.

Pooh was very proud when he heard this,

And felt that the heffalump was as good as caught already.

But there was just one other thing,

Which he hadn't thought about,

And it was this.

Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place would be somewhere where a heffalump was,

Just before he fell into it,

Only about a foot further on.

But then he would see us digging it,

Said Pooh.

Not if he was looking at the sky.

He would suspect,

Said Pooh,

If he happened to look down.

He thought for a long time,

And then added sadly,

It isn't as easy as I thought.

I suppose that's why heffalumps hardly ever get caught.

That must be it,

Said Piglet.

They sighed and caught up,

And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves,

They sat down again.

And all the time Pooh was saying to himself,

If only I could think of something.

For he felt sure that a very clever brain could catch a heffalump,

If only he knew the right way to go about it.

Suppose,

He said to Piglet,

You wanted to catch me.

How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet,

I should do it like this.

I should make a trap,

And I should put a jar of honey in the trap,

And you would smell it,

And you would go after it.

And,

And I would go in after it,

Said Pooh excitedly,

Only very carefully,

So as not to hurt myself.

And I'd get to the jar of honey,

And I should lick round the edges first of all,

Pretending that there wasn't any more,

You know.

And then I should walk away,

And think about it a little,

And then I should come back,

And start licking in the middle of the jar.

And then,

Never mind about that,

There you would be,

And there I should catch you.

Now the first thing to think of is,

What do heffalumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say,

Wake up Pooh.

Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream,

Woke up with a start,

And said that honey was a much more trappy thing than acorns.

Piglet didn't think so,

And they were just going to argue about it,

When Piglet remembered that,

If they put acorns in the trap,

He would have to find the acorns.

But if they put honey,

Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey.

So he said,

Alright,

Honey then.

Just as Pooh remembered it too,

And was going to say,

Alright,

Acorns.

Honey,

Said Piglet to himself,

In a thoughtful way,

As if it were now settled.

I'll dig the pit,

While you go and get the honey.

Very well,

Said Pooh,

As he stumped off.

As soon as he got home,

He went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And took down a very large jar of honey,

From the top of the shelf.

It had honey written on it,

But,

Just to make sure,

He took off the paper cover,

And looked at it.

And it looked,

Just like honey.

But you never can tell,

Said Pooh.

I remember my uncle saying once,

That he had seen cheese,

Just this colour.

So he put his tongue in,

And took a large lick.

Yes,

He said,

It is.

No doubt about that.

And honey,

I should say,

Right down to the bottom of the jar.

Unless of course,

He said,

Somebody put cheese at the bottom,

Just for a joke.

Perhaps I had better go a little further,

Just in case.

In case heffalumps don't like cheese.

Same as me.

Then he gave a deep sigh.

I was right.

It is honey.

Right the way down.

Having made certain of this,

He took the jar back to Piglet.

And Piglet looked up from the bottom,

Of his very deep pit,

And said,

Got it?

And Pooh said,

Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar.

And he threw it down to Piglet.

And Piglet said,

No it isn't.

Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said,

Yes.

So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit,

And climbed out.

And they went off home together.

Well,

Goodnight Pooh,

Said Piglet,

When they had got to Pooh's house.

And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning,

By the pine trees,

And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap.

Six o'clock Piglet.

And have you got any string?

No.

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with.

Oh.

I think heffalumps come,

If you whistle.

Some do.

Some don't.

You never can tell with heffalumps.

Well,

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

And off Piglet trotted to his house,

While Pooh made his preparations for bed.

Some hours later,

Just as the night was beginning to steer away,

Pooh woke up suddenly,

With a sinking feeling.

He had had that sinking feeling before,

And he knew what it meant.

He was hungry.

So he went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And reached up to the top shelf,

And found,

Nothing.

That's funny,

He thought.

I know I had a jar of honey there,

A full jar,

Full of honey,

Right up to the top,

And it had honey written on it,

So that I should know it was honey.

That's very funny.

Then he began to wander up and down,

Wondering where it was,

And murmuring a murmur to himself,

Like this.

It's very,

Very funny,

Because I know I had some honey,

Because it had a label on,

Saying honey.

Like a luptuous full up pot too,

And I don't know where it's got to.

No,

I don't know where it's gone.

Well,

It's funny.

He had murmured this to himself three times,

In a singing sort of way,

When suddenly he remembered,

He had put it into the cunning trap,

To catch the heffalump.

Oh,

Bother,

Said Pooh.

It all comes from trying to be kind to heffalumps.

And he got back into bed,

But he couldn't sleep.

The more he tried to sleep,

The more he couldn't.

He tried counting sheep,

Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep.

And as that was no good,

He tried counting heffalumps,

And that was worse,

Because every heffalump that he counted,

Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey,

And eating it all.

For some minutes he lay there miserably,

But when the 587th heffalump was licking its jaws,

And saying to itself,

Very good honey this,

I don't know when I've tasted better.

Pooh could bear it no longer.

He jumped out of bed,

He ran out of the house,

And he ran straight to the six pine trees.

The sun was still in bed,

But there was a lightness in the sky over the hundred acre wood,

Which seemed to show that it was waking up,

And would soon be kicking off the clothes,

In the half light.

The pine trees looked cold and lonely,

And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was.

And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom was something mysterious,

A shape,

And no more.

But as he got nearer to it,

His nose told him that it was indeed honey,

And his tongue came out and began to polish up his mouth,

Ready for it.

Bother,

Said Pooh,

As he got his nose inside the jar,

A heffalump has been eating it.

And then he thought a little and said,

Oh no,

I did,

I forgot.

Indeed,

He had eaten most of it,

But there was a little left at the very bottom of the jar,

And he pushed his head right in and began to lick.

By and by,

Piglet woke up.

As soon as he woke,

He said to himself,

Oh,

And then he said,

Yes,

And then,

Still more bravely,

Quite so.

But he didn't feel very brave,

For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain was heffalumps.

What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs,

Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs,

Would it make any difference if the pig had a grandfather called Trespasser's William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions,

And he was going to see his first heffalump in about an hour from now.

Of course,

Poo would be with him,

And it was much more friendly with two.

But suppose heffalumps were very fierce with pigs and bears,

Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a headache and couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose that it was a very fine day and there was no heffalump in the trap.

Here he would be in bed all morning,

Simply wasting his time for nothing.

What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea.

He would go up very quietly to the six pine trees now,

Peep very cautiously into the trap,

And see if there was a heffalump there.

And if there was,

He would go back to bed,

And if there wasn't,

He wouldn't.

So off he went.

At first,

He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap,

And then he thought that there would.

And as he got nearer,

He was sure that there would,

Because he could hear it heffalumping about like anything.

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Said Piglet to himself,

And now he wanted to run away.

But somehow,

Having got so near,

He felt that he must just see what a heffalump was like.

So he crept to the side of the trap and looked in.

And all the time,

Winnie the Pooh had been trying to get the honey jar off his head.

The more he shook it,

The more tightly it stuck.

Bother,

He said,

Inside the jar.

And,

Oh help!

And mostly,

Ow!

And he tried bumping it against things,

But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against,

And it didn't help him.

And he tried to climb out of the trap,

But he could see nothing but jar,

And not much of that.

He couldn't find his way.

So at last,

He lifted up his head,

Jar and all,

And made a loud roaring noise of sadness and despair.

And it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.

Help!

Help!

Cried Piglet.

A heffalump!

A horrible heffalump!

And he scarpered off as hard as he could,

Still crying out.

Help!

Help!

A harrible heffalump!

A harrible hoffalump!

Hoff!

Hoff!

A hellable horrorlump!

Ho!

Ho!

A hoffable hellerump!

And he didn't stop crying and scampering,

Until he got to Christopher Robin's house.

Whatever is the matter,

Piglet?

Said Christopher Robin,

Who was just getting up.

Heff!

Heff!

Said Piglet,

Breathing so hard,

That he could hardly speak.

A heff!

A heff!

A heffalump!

Where?

Up there,

Said Piglet,

Waving his paw.

Well,

What did it look like?

Like,

Like!

It had the biggest head you ever saw,

Christopher Robin.

A great enormous thing.

Like,

Like nothing.

A huge big,

Well,

Like a.

.

.

I don't know.

Like an enormous big nothing.

Like a jar.

Well,

Said Christopher Robin,

Putting on his shoes.

I shall go and look at it.

Come on.

Piglet wasn't afraid,

If he had Christopher Robin with him.

So off they went.

I can hear it.

Can you?

Said Piglet,

Anxiously,

As they got near.

I can hear something,

Said Christopher Robin.

It was Pooh,

Bumping his head against a tree root he had found.

There!

Said Piglet.

Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand.

Suddenly,

Christopher Robin began to laugh.

He laughed,

And he laughed,

And he laughed.

And while he was still laughing,

Crash went the heffalump's head against the tree root.

Smash went the jar,

And out came Pooh's head again.

Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been,

And he was so ashamed of himself,

That he ran straight off home and went to bed with a headache.

But Christopher Robin and Pooh followed Piglet home and made him a special breakfast and told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all,

And that they both love him very much.

Once upon a time,

A very long time ago now,

About last Friday,

Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest,

All by himself,

Under the name of Sanders.

One day,

When he was out walking,

He came to an open place in the middle of the forest.

And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.

And from the top of the tree there came a loud buzzing noise.

Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree,

Put his head between his paws and began to think.

First of all,

He said to himself,

That buzzing noise means something.

You don't get a buzzing noise like that,

Just buzzing and buzzing,

Without its meaning something.

If there's a buzzing noise,

Somebody's making a buzzing noise.

And the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is because you're a bee.

Then he thought another long time and said,

And the only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey.

And then he got up and said,

And the only reason for making honey is so that I can eat it.

So he began to climb the tree.

He climbed and he climbed and he climbed.

And as he climbed,

He sang a little song to himself.

It went like this.

Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz.

I wonder why he does.

Then he climbed a little further and a little further and then just a little further.

By that time,

He had thought of another song.

It's a very funny thought if bears were bees,

They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.

And that being so,

If the bees were bears,

We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.

He was getting rather tired by this time.

So that is why he sang a complaining song.

He was nearly there now.

And if he just stood on that branch.

Crack.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh as he dropped 10 feet to the branch below him.

If only I hadn't,

He said.

As he bounced 20 feet on the next branch.

You see,

What I meant to do,

He explained as he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch 30 feet below.

What I meant to do,

Of course,

It was rather,

He admitted,

As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.

It all comes,

I suppose,

He decided as he said goodbye to the last branch,

Spun round three times and flew gracefully into a gorse bush.

It all comes of liking honey so much.

Oh,

Help.

He crawled out of the gorse bush,

Brushed the prickles from his nose and began to think again.

And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.

So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin who lived behind a green door in another part of the forest.

Good morning,

Christopher Robin,

He said.

Good morning,

Winnie the Pooh,

Said you.

I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you.

A balloon?

Yes,

I just said to myself coming along.

I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him.

What do you want a balloon for?

You said.

Winnie the Pooh looked round to see that nobody was listening,

Put his paw to his mouth and said in a deep whisper.

Honey.

But you don't get honey with balloons.

I do,

Said Pooh.

Well,

It just happened that you had been to a party the day before at the house of your friend Piglet and you had balloons at the party.

You'd had big green balloons and one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one and had left it behind.

And so you had brought the green one and the blue one home with you.

Which one would you like?

You asked Pooh.

He put his head between his paws and thought very carefully.

It's like this,

He said.

When you go after honey with a balloon,

The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming.

Now,

If you have a green balloon,

They might think you are only part of the tree and not notice you.

And if you have a blue balloon,

They might think you're only part of the sky and not notice you.

And the question is,

Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon?

You asked.

They might,

Or they might not,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

You never can tell with bees.

He thought for a moment and said,

I shall try to look like a small black cloud that will deceive them.

Then you had better have the blue balloon,

You said.

And so it was decided.

You both went out with the blue balloon and Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of and rolled and rolled until he was black all over.

And then,

When the balloon was blown up as big as big and you and Pooh were both holding onto the string,

You let go suddenly and Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there,

Level with the top of the tree.

And about 20 feet away from it.

Hooray,

You shouted.

Isn't that fine?

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you.

What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding onto a balloon,

You said.

Not,

Said Pooh anxiously.

Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much.

Oh well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different.

And as I say,

You never can tell with bees.

There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree.

So he stayed.

He could see the honey.

He could smell the honey.

But he couldn't quite reach the honey.

After a little while,

He called down to you.

Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper.

Hello.

I think the bees suspect something.

What sort of thing?

I don't know.

But something tells me that they're suspicious.

Perhaps they think you're after the honey.

It may be that.

You never can tell with bees.

There was another little silence.

And then he called down again.

Christopher Robin?

Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so.

I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it.

And look up at me every now and then and say,

It looks like rain.

I think if you did that,

It would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees.

You laughed to yourself.

Silly old bear.

But you didn't say it out loud because you were so fond of him.

And you went home for your umbrella.

Oh,

There you are,

Called down Winnie the Pooh as soon as you got back to the tree.

I was beginning to get anxious.

I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious.

Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said.

Yes.

But wait a moment.

We must be practical.

The important bee to deceive is the queen bee.

Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No.

A pity.

Well now,

If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying,

It looks like rain.

I shall do what I can by singing a little cloud song such as a cloud might sing.

So while you're walking up and down and wondering if it would rain,

Winnie the Pooh sang this song.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.

Every little cloud always sings aloud.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue to make him very proud to be a little cloud.

The bees were still buzzing as suspiciously as ever.

Some of them,

Indeed,

Left their nests and flew all around the cloud as it began the second verse of this song.

And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment and then got up again.

Christopher!

Ow!

Robin!

Called the cloud.

Yes?

I have just been thinking and have come to a very important decision.

These are the wrong sort of bees.

Are they?

Quite the wrong sort.

So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey.

Would they?

Yes.

So I think I shall come down now.

How?

You asked.

Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this.

If he let go of the string,

He would fall.

Bump.

And he didn't like the idea of that.

So he thought for a long time and then he said,

Christopher Robin,

You must shoot the balloon down with your pea shooter.

Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said.

But if I do that,

It will spoil your balloon,

You said.

But if you don't,

Said Pooh,

I shall have to let go and that would spoil me.

When he put it like this,

You saw how it was and you aimed very carefully with your pea shooter at the balloon and fired.

Ow,

Said Pooh.

Did I miss?

You asked.

You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh,

But you missed the balloon.

I'm so sorry,

You said,

As you fired again with a big puff of breath.

And this time,

You hit the balloon and the air came slowly out and Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground.

But his arms were so stiff from holding onto the string or the balloon all that time,

They stayed straight up in the air for more than a week and whenever a fly came to settle on his nose,

He had to blow it off.

And I think,

But I'm not sure,

That that is why he was always called Pooh.

Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin.

That's the end of that one.

There are others.

About Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and all of you.

Don't you remember?

I do remember.

And then when I'm trying to remember,

I forget.

And that's why he likes having it told to him again because then it's a real story and not just a remembering.

Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh,

Yawned,

And yawns are catching.

So Winnie the Pooh yawned too.

Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin.

Yes,

Said Pooh.

Very much so.

The end.

Edward Bear,

Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh,

Or Pooh for short,

Was walking through the forest one day,

Humming proudly to himself.

He had made up a little hum that very morning as he was doing his stoutness exercises in front of the glass.

Tra la la,

Tra la la,

As he stretched up as high as he could go.

Tra la la.

Oh,

Help!

As he tried to reach his toes.

After breakfast,

He had said it over and over to himself until he had learned it off by heart.

And now he was humming it right through,

Properly.

It went like this.

Tra la la,

Tra la la.

Rum tum tiddle um tum.

He was humming this hum to himself and walking gaily along,

Wondering what everybody else was doing and what it felt like being someone else.

And suddenly,

He came to a sandy bank and in the bank was a large hole.

Aha,

Said Pooh.

Rum tiddle um tum.

If I know anything about anything,

That hole means rabbit,

He said.

And rabbit means company,

He said.

And company means food.

And listening to me humming,

And such like,

Rum tum tum tiddle um.

So he bent down,

Put his head into the hole and called out,

Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole and then silence.

What I said was,

Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh,

Very loudly.

No,

Said the voice and then added,

You needn't shout so loud.

I heard you quite well the first time.

Bother,

Said Pooh.

Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody.

Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole and thought for a little.

He thought to himself,

There must be somebody there because somebody must have said nobody.

So he put his head back in the hole and said,

Hello rabbit,

Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit,

In a different sort of voice this time.

But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit.

Oh,

Said Pooh,

He took his head out of the hole and had another think.

And then he put it back and said,

Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear who is a great friend of his.

But this is me,

Said Bear.

Very much surprised.

What sort of me?

Pooh Bear!

Are you sure?

Said rabbit.

Still more surprised.

Quite,

Quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear.

Oh well then,

Come in.

So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed and pushed his way through the hole and at last got in.

You were quite right,

Said rabbit.

Looking at him all over.

It is you.

Glad to see you.

Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure.

You know how it is in the forest.

One can't have anybody coming to one's house.

One has to be careful.

What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something at 11 o'clock in the morning and he was very glad to see rabbit getting out the plates and mugs and when rabbit said honey or condensed milk with your bread he was so excited that he said both and then so as not to seem greedy he added but don't bother about the bread,

Please.

And for a long time after that he said nothing.

Until at last,

Humming to himself in a rather sticky voice he caught up,

Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw and said that he must be going on.

Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely.

Well,

Said Pooh,

I could stay a little longer if you and he tried very hard to look in the direction of the larder.

As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit,

I was going up myself directly.

Oh well then,

I'll be going on.

Goodbye.

Well,

Goodbye.

If you're sure you won't have any more,

Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly.

Rabbit took the covers off the dishes and said,

No,

There wasn't.

I thought not,

Said Pooh,

Nodding to himself.

Well,

Goodbye.

I must be going on.

So he started to climb out of the hole.

He pulled with his front paws and pushed with his back paws.

And in a little while,

His nose was out and he opened again.

And then his ears.

And then his front paws.

And then his shoulders.

And then.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh.

I better go back.

Oh,

Bother,

Said Pooh.

I shall have to go on.

I can't do either.

Oh,

Help.

Oh,

Bother.

Now,

By this time,

Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too.

And finding the front door full,

He went out by the back door and came round to Pooh and looked at him.

Hello.

Are you stuck?

He asked.

No,

Said Pooh carelessly.

Just resting,

I think.

And humming to myself.

Here,

Give us a paw.

Pooh Bear stretched out a paw.

And Rabbit pulled and pulled and pulled.

Ow,

Cried Pooh Bear.

You're hurting.

The fact is,

Said Rabbit,

You're stuck.

It all comes,

Said Pooh crossly,

Of not having front doors big enough.

It all comes,

Said Rabbit sternly,

Of eating too much.

I thought at the time,

Said Rabbit.

Only,

I didn't like to say anything,

That one of us was eating too much.

And I knew it wasn't me,

He said.

Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin.

Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest.

And when he came back with Rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh,

He said,

Silly old Bear,

In such a loving voice that everybody felt quite hopeful again.

I was just beginning to think,

Said Bear,

Sniffing slightly,

That Rabbit might never be able to use his front door again.

And I should hate that,

He said.

So should I,

Said Rabbit.

Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin.

Of course he'll use his front door again.

Good,

Said Rabbit.

If we can't pull you out,

Pooh,

We might push you back.

Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully and pointed out that,

When once Pooh was pushed back,

He was back.

And of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh than he was.

Still,

It was.

Some lived in trees and some undergrowth and.

.

.

You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh.

I mean,

Said Rabbit,

Having got so far,

It seems a pity to waste it.

Christopher Robin nodded.

Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said.

We shall have to wait for you to get thin again.

How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously.

About a week,

I should think.

But I can't stay here for a week.

You can stay here,

All right,

Silly old bear.

It's getting you out,

Which is difficult.

We'll read to you,

Said Rabbit cheerfully.

And I hope it won't snow,

He added.

And I say,

Old fellow,

You're taking up a good deal of room in my house.

Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean,

They are doing nothing and it would be very convenient just to hang the towels on them.

A week,

Said Pooh gloomily.

What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin,

Because of getting thin quicker.

But we will read to you.

Bear began to sigh.

And then he found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck and a tear rolled down his eye,

As he said.

Then would you read a sustaining book such as would help and comfort a wedged bear in great tightness?

So for a week,

Christopher Robin read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh and Rabbit hung his washing on the south end.

And in between,

Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer.

And at the end of the week,

Christopher Robin said,

Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws and Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin.

And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit.

And they all pulled together.

And for a long time,

Pooh only said,

Ow!

And Whoa!

And then,

All of a sudden,

He said,

Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle.

And Christopher Robin and Rabbit and all Rabbit's friends and relations went head over heels backwards.

And on top of them came Winnie the Pooh,

Free.

So with a nod of thanks to his friends,

He went on with his walk through the forest,

Humming proudly to himself.

But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly.

And said to himself,

Silly old bear.

One fine winter's day,

When Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house,

He happened to look up.

And there was Winnie the Pooh.

Pooh was walking round and round in a circle,

Thinking of something else.

And when Piglet called to him,

He just went on walking.

Hello,

Said Piglet.

What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh.

Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Very mysteriously.

Tracking what,

Said Piglet,

Coming closer.

I shall have to wait until I catch up with it,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Now look there.

He pointed to the ground in front of him.

What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet.

Poor Marx.

He gave a little squeak of excitement.

Oh Pooh,

Do you think it's a,

A,

A weasel?

It may be,

Said Pooh.

Sometimes it is,

And sometimes it isn't.

He never can tell with poor Marx.

With these few words,

He went on tracking.

And Piglet,

After watching him for a minute or two,

Ran after him.

Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop and was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way.

What's the matter?

Asked Piglet.

It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear,

But there seem to be two animals now.

This,

Whatever it is,

Has been joined by another,

Whatever it is.

And the two of them are now proceeding in company.

Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet,

In case they turn out to be hostile animals?

Piglet scratched his ear in a nice sort of way and said they had nothing to do until Friday and would be delighted to come in case it really was a weasel.

You mean in case it really is two weasels,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

And Piglet said that anyhow,

He had nothing to do until Friday.

So off they went together.

There was a small spinny of large trees just here and it seemed as if the two weasels,

If that is what they were,

Had been going round this spinny.

So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them.

Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh what his grandfather had done to remove stiffness after tracking and other matters of interest.

And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like and if perhaps this was two grandfathers that they were after now and,

If so,

Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it and what Christopher Robin would say.

And still the tracks went on in front of them.

Suddenly,

Winnie the Pooh stopped and pointed excitedly in front of him.

Look.

What,

Said Piglet,

With a jump.

And then,

To show that he hadn't been frightened,

He jumped up and down once or twice,

More in an exercising sort of way.

The tracks,

Said Pooh.

A third animal has joined the other two.

Pooh,

Cried Piglet,

Do you think it's another weasel?

No,

Said Pooh,

Because it makes different marks.

Let us continue to follow them.

So they went on,

Feeling just a little bit anxious now in case the three animals in front of them were of hostile intent.

And Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robin suddenly but quite accidentally and only because he liked Christopher Robin so much.

And then,

All of a sudden,

Winnie the Pooh stopped again and licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner for he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before.

There were now four animals in front of them.

Do you see it,

Piglet?

Look at their tracks.

Another weasel has joined them.

And so it seemed to be.

There were the tracks crossing over each other here getting muddled up with each other there.

But quite plainly every now and then the tracks of four sets of paws.

I think,

Said Piglet,

When he had licked the tip of his nose too and found that it brought very little comfort.

I think I've just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and I shan't be able to do tomorrow.

So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now.

We'll do it this afternoon and I'll come with you,

Said Pooh.

It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon,

Said Piglet quickly.

It's a very particular morning thing that I think has to be done in the morning and,

If possible,

Between the hours of.

.

.

What would you say the time was?

About twelve,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Looking at the sun.

Between,

As I was saying,

The hours of twelve and twelve-five.

So really,

Dear old Pooh,

If you'll excuse me.

.

.

What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky and then he heard the whistle again and looked up at the branches of a big oak tree and then he saw a friend of his.

It's Christopher Robin,

He said.

Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet.

You'll be quite safe with him.

Goodbye.

And he trotted off home as quickly as he could,

Very glad to be out of all danger again.

Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree.

Silly old bear,

He said.

What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself and then Piglet ran after you and you went round again together and then you were just going round a fourth time.

Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

Holding up his paw.

He sat down and thought,

In the most thoughtful way he could think.

Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks and then he scratched his nose twice and stood up.

Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh,

I see it now.

I've been foolish and deluded,

He said.

And I am a bear of no brain at all.

You're the best bear in all the world,

Said Christopher Robin,

Soothingly.

Am I?

Said Pooh,

Hopefully.

And then he brightened up suddenly.

Anyhow,

He said,

It's nearly lunchtime.

So he went home for it.

The old grey donkey,

Eeyore,

Stood by himself in the thistly corner of the forest,

His front feet well apart,

His head on one side,

And thought about things.

Sometimes he thought sadly to himself,

Why?

And sometimes he thought,

Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.

So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along,

Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little in order to say,

How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him.

And how are you?

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Eeyore shook his head from side to side.

Not very well,

He said.

I don't seem to have felt at all well for a long time.

Oh dear,

Said Pooh.

I'm sorry about that.

Let's have a look at you.

So Eeyore stood there,

Gazing sadly at the ground,

And Winnie the Pooh walked all around him once.

What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise.

What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore.

It isn't there.

Are you sure?

Well,

Either a tail is there,

Or it isn't there.

You can't make a mistake about it,

And yours isn't there.

Then what is?

Nothing.

Let's have a look,

Said Eeyore,

As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago.

And then,

Finding that he couldn't catch it up,

He turned round the other way,

Until he came back to where he was at first.

And then he put his head down,

And looked between his front legs.

And at last,

He said,

With a long,

Sad sigh,

I believe you're right.

Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh.

That accounts for a good deal,

Said Eeyore gloomily.

It explains everything.

No wonder.

You must have left it somewhere,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

Somebody must have taken it,

Said Eeyore.

How like them,

He added,

After a long silence.

Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it,

But didn't quite know what.

So he decided to do something helpful instead.

Eeyore,

He said solemnly,

I,

Winnie the Pooh,

Will find your tail.

Thank you,

Pooh,

Answered Eeyore.

You're a real friend,

He said,

Not like some.

So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail.

It was a fine spring morning in the forest,

As he started out.

Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky,

Skipping from time to time in front of the sun.

As if they had come to put it out,

And then sliding away suddenly,

So that the next might have his turn.

Through them and between them,

The sun shone bravely,

And a copse,

Which had worn its furs all year round,

Seemed old and dowdy now,

Beside the new green lace which the beaches had put on prettily.

Through the copse and spinny marched Bear,

Down open slopes of gauze and heather,

Over rocky beds of streams,

Up steep banks of sandstone,

Into the heather again.

And so at last,

Tired and hungry,

To the hundred-acre wood.

For it was the hundred-acre wood that Owl lived.

And if anyone knows anything about anything,

Said Bear to himself,

It's Owl who knew something about something,

He said.

Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh,

Which it is,

He added.

So there you are.

Owl lived at the Chestnuts,

An old world residence of great charm,

Which was grander than anybody else's,

Or seemed so to Bear,

Because it had both a knocker and bell pull.

Underneath the knocker,

There was a notice which said,

Please ring if an answer is required.

Underneath the bell pull,

There was a notice which said,

Please knock if an answer is not required.

These notices had been written by Christopher Robin,

Who was the only one in the forest who could spell.

For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways,

Able to read and write and spell his own name,

Woll,

Yet somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like measles and buttered toast.

Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully,

First from left to right,

And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it,

From right to left.

Then,

To make quite sure,

He knocked and pulled the knocker,

And he pulled and knocked the bell rope,

And he called out in a very loud voice,

Owl,

I require an answer.

It's Bear speaking.

And the door opened,

And Owl looked out.

Hello Pooh,

He said.

How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh,

Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine,

Has lost his tail,

And he's moping about it.

So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl,

The customary procedure,

In such cases,

Is as follows.

What does Cruster Money Proceed Cake mean?

Said Pooh,

For I am a bear of very little brain,

And long words bother me.

It means things to do.

As long as it means that,

I don't mind,

Said Pooh,

Humbly.

The thing to do is as follows.

First,

Issue a reward.

Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh,

Holding up his paw.

What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me.

I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl.

Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't.

You can't sneeze without knowing it.

Well,

You can't know it,

Without something having been sneezed.

What I said was,

First issue a reward.

You're doing it again,

Said Pooh,

Sadly.

A reward,

Said Owl,

Very loudly.

We write a notice to say,

That we'll give a large something,

To anybody who finds Eeyore's tale.

I see,

I see,

Said Pooh,

Nodding his head.

Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily.

I generally have a small something,

About now,

About this time in the morning.

And he looked wistfully,

At the cupboard,

In the corner,

Of Owl's parlour.

Just a mouthful of condensed milk,

Or what not,

With perhaps a lick of honey.

Well then,

Said Owl,

We will write out this notice,

And we put it up,

All over the forest.

A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself.

Or,

Or not,

As the case may be.

He gave a deep sigh,

And tried very hard to listen,

To what Owl was saying.

But Owl went on and on,

Using longer and longer words,

Until at last he came back,

To where he had started.

And he explained,

That the person to write out this notice,

Was Christopher Robin.

It was he,

Who wrote the ones on my front door for me.

Did you see them Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn,

With his eyes shut,

To all that Owl was saying.

And having said yes yes the last time,

He said,

No,

Not at all,

Without really knowing what Owl was talking about.

Did you see them?

Said Owl,

A little surprised.

Come and look at them now.

So they went outside.

Pooh looked at the knocker,

And the notice below it.

And he looked up at the bell rope,

And the notice below it.

And the more he looked at the bell rope,

The more he felt that he'd seen something like it,

Somewhere else,

Sometime before.

Handsome bell rope isn't it?

Said Owl.

Pooh nodded.

It reminds me of something he said.

But I can't think what.

Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest.

It was hanging over a bush.

And I thought at first somebody lived there.

So I rang it.

And nothing happened.

And then I rang it again,

Very loudly.

And it came off in my hand.

And as nobody seemed to want it,

I took it home and.

.

.

Owl,

Said Pooh solemnly.

You made a mistake.

Somebody did want it.

Who?

Eeyore.

My friend Eeyore.

He was fond of it.

Fond of it?

Attached to it,

Said Winnie the Pooh sadly.

So with these words,

He unhooked it,

And carried it back to Eeyore.

And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on,

In its right place again,

Eeyore frisked about in the forest,

Waving his tail so happily,

That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny,

And had to hurry home for a little snack,

Of something to sustain him.

And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards,

He sang to himself proudly.

Pooh found the tail,

I said Pooh,

At a quarter to two.

Only,

It was a quarter to eleven really.

I found the tail.

One day,

When Christopher Robin,

And Winnie the Pooh,

And Piglet,

Were all talking together,

Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating,

And said carelessly,

I saw a heffalump today Piglet.

What was it doing?

Asked Piglet.

Just lumping around,

Said Christopher Robin.

I don't think it saw me.

I saw one once,

Said Piglet.

At least,

I think I did.

Only,

Perhaps it wasn't.

So did I,

Said Pooh,

Wondering what a heffalump was like.

You don't often see them,

Said Christopher Robin carelessly.

Not now,

Said Piglet.

Not at this time of year,

Said Pooh.

Then they all talked about something else,

Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet,

To go home together.

At first,

They stomped along the path,

Which edged the hundred acre wood.

They didn't say much to each other,

But when they came to the stream,

And had helped each other across the stepping stones,

And were able to walk side by side again,

Over the heather,

They began to talk in a friendly way,

About this and that.

And Piglet said,

If you see what I mean Pooh.

And Pooh said,

It's just what I think myself Piglet.

And Piglet said,

But on the other hand,

Pooh we must remember.

And Pooh said,

Quite true Piglet.

Although,

I had forgotten it for the moment.

And then,

Just as they came to the six pine trees,

Pooh looked around,

To see that nobody else was listening,

And said in a very solemn voice,

Piglet,

I have decided something.

What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided,

To catch a heather lump.

Pooh nodded his head,

Several times as he said this,

And waited for Piglet to say,

How?

Or,

Pooh you couldn't.

Or something helpful of that sort.

But Piglet said nothing.

The fact was,

Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first.

I shall do it said Pooh,

After waiting a little longer.

By means of a trap,

And it must be a cunning trap,

So you will have to help me Piglet.

Pooh said Piglet,

Feeling quite happy again now,

I will.

And then he said,

How shall we do it?

And Pooh said,

That's just it.

How?

And then they sat down together,

To think about it.

Pooh's first idea,

Was that they should dig a very deep pit,

And then the heather lump would come along,

And fall into the pit.

Why?

Said Piglet.

Why what?

Said Pooh.

Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw,

And said,

That a heather lump might be walking along,

Humming a little song,

And looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would rain.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit,

Until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that this was a very good trap,

But supposing,

It were raining already.

Pooh rubbed his nose again,

And said that he hadn't thought of that.

And then he brightened up,

And said that,

If it were raining already,

The heather lump would be looking up at the sky,

Wondering if it would clear up.

And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit,

Until he was halfway down,

When it would be too late.

Piglet said that now,

This point had been explained,

He thought it was a cunning trap.

Pooh was very proud when he heard this,

And felt that the heather lump was as good as caught already.

But there was just one other thing,

Which he hadn't thought about,

And it was this.

Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place,

Would be somewhere where a heather lump was,

Just before he fell into it,

Only about a foot further on.

But then he would see us digging it,

Said Pooh.

Not if he was looking at the sky.

He would suspect,

Said Pooh,

If he happened to look down.

He thought for a long time,

And then added sadly,

It isn't as easy as I thought.

I suppose that's why heather lumps hardly ever get caught.

That must be it,

Said Piglet.

They sighed and got up,

And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves,

They sat down again.

And all the time,

Pooh was saying to himself,

If only I could think of something.

For he felt sure,

That a very clever brain,

Could catch a heather lump,

If only he knew the right way to go about it.

Suppose,

He said to Piglet,

You wanted to catch me,

How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet,

I should do it like this.

I should make a trap,

And I should put a jar of honey in the trap.

And you would smell it,

And you would go after it.

And,

And I would go in after it,

Said Pooh excitedly.

Only very carefully,

So as not to hurt myself.

And I'd get to the jar of honey,

And I should lick round the edges,

First of all,

Pretending that there wasn't any more,

You know.

And then I should walk away,

And think about it a little.

And then I should come back,

And start licking in the middle of the jar.

And then,

Never mind about that,

There you would be,

And there I should catch you.

Now the first thing to think of is,

What do heather lumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say,

Wake up Pooh.

Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream,

Woke up with a start,

And said that honey was a much more trappy thing than acorns.

Piglet didn't think so,

And they were just going to argue about it,

When Piglet remembered that,

If they put acorns in the trap,

He would have to find the acorns.

But if they put honey,

Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey.

So he said,

All right,

Honey then,

Just as Pooh remembered it too,

And was going to say,

All right,

Acorns.

Honey,

Said Piglet to himself,

In a thoughtful way,

As if it were now settled.

I'll dig the pit,

While you go and get the honey.

Very well,

Said Pooh,

As he stumped off.

As soon as he got home,

He went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And took down a very large jar of honey,

From the top of the shelf.

It had honey written on it,

But,

Just to make sure,

He took off the paper cover,

And looked at it,

And it looked just like honey.

But you never can tell,

Said Pooh.

I remember my uncle saying once,

That he had seen cheese,

Just this colour.

So he put his tongue in,

And took a large lick.

Yes,

He said,

It is.

No doubt about that.

And honey,

I should say,

Right down to the bottom of the jar.

Unless of course,

He said,

Somebody put cheese at the bottom,

Just for a joke.

Perhaps I had better go a little further,

Just in case,

In case heffa-lumps don't like cheese.

Same as me.

And he gave a deep sigh.

I was right.

It is honey,

Right the way down.

Having made certain of this,

He took the jar back to Piglet,

And Piglet looked up from the bottom,

Of his very deep pit,

And said,

Got it?

And Pooh said,

Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar.

And he threw it down to Piglet,

And Piglet said,

No it isn't.

Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said,

Yes.

So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit,

And climbed out.

And they went off home together.

Well,

Goodnight Pooh,

Said Piglet,

When they had got to Pooh's house.

And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning,

By the pine trees,

And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap.

Six o'clock,

Piglet.

And have you got any string?

No?

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with.

Oh,

I think heffalumps come if you whistle.

Some do,

Some don't.

You never can tell with heffalumps.

Well,

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

And off Piglet trotted to his house,

While Pooh made his preparations for bed.

Some hours later,

Just as the night was beginning to steal away,

Pooh woke up suddenly,

With a sinking feeling.

He had had that sinking feeling before,

And he knew what it meant.

He was hungry.

So he went to the larder,

And he stood on a chair,

And reached up to the top shelf.

And found,

Nothing.

That's funny,

He thought.

I know I had a jar of honey there,

A full jar,

Full of honey,

Right up to the top.

And it had honey written on it,

So that I should know it was honey.

That's very funny.

Then he began to wander up and down,

Wondering where it was,

And murmuring a murmur to himself.

Like this.

It's very,

Very funny.

Cause I know I had some honey.

Cause it had a label on,

Saying honey.

Like a luptuous full up pot too.

And I don't know where it's got to.

No,

I don't know where it's gone.

Well,

It's funny.

He had murmured this to himself three times,

In a singing sort of way.

When suddenly he remembered,

He had put it into the cunning trap,

To catch the heffalump.

Oh bother,

Said Pooh.

It all comes from trying to be kind to heffalumps.

And he got back into bed,

But he couldn't sleep.

The more he tried to sleep,

The more he couldn't.

He tried counting sheep,

Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep.

And as that was no good,

He tried counting heffalumps.

And that was worse.

Because every heffalump that he counted,

Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey,

And eating it all.

For some minutes he lay there miserably.

But when the 587th heffalump was licking its jaws,

And saying to itself,

Very good honey this.

I don't know when I've tasted better.

Pooh could bear it no longer.

He jumped out of bed,

He ran out of the house,

And he ran straight to the six pine trees.

The sun was still in bed,

But there was a lightness in the sky,

Over the hundred acre wood,

Which seemed to show that it was waking up,

And would soon be kicking off the clothes,

In the half light.

The pine trees looked cold and lonely,

And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was.

And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom,

Was something mysterious.

A shape,

And no more.

But as he got nearer to it,

His nose told him,

That it was indeed honey.

And his tongue came out,

And began to polish up his mouth,

Ready for it.

Bother,

Said Pooh,

As he got his nose inside the jar.

A heffalump has been eating it.

And then he thought a little and said,

Oh no,

I did.

I forgot.

Indeed,

He had eaten most of it.

But there was a little left,

At the very bottom of the jar.

And he pushed his head right in,

And began to lick.

By and by,

Piglet woke up.

As soon as he woke,

He said to himself,

Oh.

And then he said,

Yes.

And then,

Still more bravely,

Quite so.

But he didn't feel very brave.

For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain,

Was heffalumps.

What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs,

Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs,

Would it make any difference if the pig had a grandfather called Trespasser's William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions.

And he was going to see his first heffalump in about an hour from now.

Of course,

Pooh would be with him,

And it was much more friendly with two.

But suppose,

Heffalumps were very fierce with pigs and bears.

Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a headache and couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose that it was a very fine day and there was no heffalump in the trap.

Here he would be in bed all morning,

Simply wasting his time for nothing.

What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea.

He would go up very quietly to the six pine trees now,

Peep very cautiously into the trap and see if there was a heffalump there.

And if there was,

He would go back to bed.

And if there wasn't,

He wouldn't.

So off he went.

At first,

He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap.

And then he thought that there would.

And as he got nearer,

He was sure that there would because he could hear it heffalumping about like anything.

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Said Piglet to himself.

And now he wanted to run away.

But somehow,

Having got so near,

He felt that he must just see what a heffalump was like.

So he crept to the side of the trap and looked in.

And all the time,

Winnie the Pooh had been trying to get the honey jar off his head.

The more he shook it,

The more tightly it stuck.

Father,

He said,

Inside the jar.

And,

Oh,

Help.

And mostly,

Ow.

And he tried bumping it against things,

But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against.

And it didn't help him.

And he tried to climb out of the trap,

But he could see nothing but jar,

And not much of that.

He couldn't find his way.

So at last,

He lifted up his head,

Jar and all,

And made a loud roaring noise of sadness and despair.

And it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.

Help,

Help,

Cried Piglet.

A heffalump,

A horrible heffalump.

And he scarpered off as hard as he could,

Still crying out.

Help,

Help,

A harrible heffalump,

A horrible hoffalump,

Hoff,

Hoff,

A hellable horrorlump,

Ho,

Ho,

A hoffable hellerump.

And he didn't stop crying and scampering until he got to Christopher Robin's house.

Whatever is the matter,

Piglet,

Said Christopher Robin,

Who was just getting up.

Heff,

Heff,

Said Piglet,

Breathing so hard that he could hardly speak.

A heff,

A heff,

A heffalump.

Where?

Up there,

Said Piglet,

Waving his paw.

Well,

What did it look like?

Like,

Like,

It had the biggest head you ever saw,

Christopher Robin.

A great enormous thing,

Like,

Like nothing.

A huge big,

Well,

Like a,

I don't know,

Like an enormous big nothing,

Like a jar.

Well,

Said Christopher Robin,

Putting on his shoes,

I shall go and look at it.

Come on.

Piglet wasn't afraid if he had Christopher Robin with him,

So off they went.

I can hear it,

Can you?

Said Piglet anxiously as they got near.

I can hear something,

Said Christopher Robin.

It was Pooh,

Bumping his head against a tree root he had found.

There,

Said Piglet,

Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand.

Suddenly,

Christopher Robin began to laugh.

He laughed,

And he laughed,

And he laughed.

And while he was still laughing,

Crash went the heffalump's head against the tree root.

Smash went the jar,

And out came Pooh's head again.

Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been,

And he was so ashamed of himself that he ran straight off home and went to bed with a headache.

But Christopher Robin and Pooh followed Piglet home and made him a special breakfast and told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all and that they both love him very much.

Once upon a time,

A very long time ago now,

About last Friday,

Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest,

All by himself,

Under the name of Sanders.

One day,

When he was out walking,

He came to an open place in the middle of the forest.

And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.

And from the top of the tree there came a loud buzzing noise.

Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree,

Put his head between his paws and began to think.

First of all,

He said to himself,

That buzzing noise means something.

You don't get a buzzing noise like that,

Just buzzing and buzzing,

Without its meaning something.

If there's a buzzing noise,

Somebody's making a buzzing noise.

And the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is because you're a bee.

Then he thought another long time and said,

And the only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey.

And then he got up and said,

And the only reason for making honey is so that I can eat it.

So he began to climb the tree.

He climbed and he climbed and he climbed.

And as he climbed,

He sang a little song to himself.

It went like this.

Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz.

I wonder why he does.

Then he climbed a little further and a little further and then just a little further.

By that time,

He had thought of another song.

It's a very funny thought if bears were bees,

They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.

And that being so,

If the bees were bears,

We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.

He was getting rather tired by this time.

So that is why he sang a complaining song.

He was nearly there now.

And if he just stood on that branch.

Crack.

Oh,

Help,

Said Pooh as he dropped 10 feet to the branch below him.

If only I hadn't,

He said.

As he bounced 20 feet on the next branch.

You see,

What I meant to do,

He explained as he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch 30 feet below.

What I meant to do,

Of course,

It was rather,

He admitted,

As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.

It all comes,

I suppose,

He decided as he said goodbye to the last branch,

Spun round three times and flew gracefully into a gorse bush.

It all comes of liking honey so much.

Oh,

Help.

He crawled out of the gorse bush,

Brushed the prickles from his nose and began to think again.

And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.

So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin who lived behind a green door in another part of the forest.

Good morning,

Christopher Robin,

He said.

Good morning,

Winnie the Pooh,

Said you.

I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you.

A balloon?

Yes,

I just said to myself coming along.

I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him.

What do you want a balloon for?

You said.

Winnie the Pooh looked round to see that nobody was listening,

Put his paw to his mouth and said in a deep whisper.

Honey.

But you don't get honey with balloons.

I do,

Said Pooh.

Well,

It just happened that you had been to a party the day before at the house of your friend Piglet and you had balloons at the party.

You'd had big green balloons and one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one and had left it behind.

And so you had brought the green one and the blue one home with you.

Which one would you like?

You asked Pooh.

He put his head between his paws and thought very carefully.

It's like this,

He said.

When you go after honey with a balloon,

The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming.

Now,

If you have a green balloon,

They might think you are only part of the tree and not notice you.

And if you have a blue balloon,

They might think you're only part of the sky and not notice you.

And the question is,

Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon?

You asked.

They might,

Or they might not,

Said Winnie the Pooh.

You never can tell with bees.

He thought for a moment and said,

I shall try to look like a small black cloud that will deceive them.

Then you had better have the blue balloon,

You said.

And so it was decided.

You both went out with the blue balloon and Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of and rolled and rolled until he was black all over.

And then when the balloon was blown up as big as big and you and Pooh were both holding on to the string,

You let go suddenly and Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there,

Level with the top of the tree.

And about 20 feet away from it.

Hooray,

You shouted.

Isn't that fine,

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you.

What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding onto a balloon,

You said.

Not,

Said Pooh anxiously.

Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much.

Oh,

Well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different.

And as I say,

You never can tell with bees.

There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree.

So he stayed.

He could see the honey.

He could smell the honey.

But he couldn't quite reach the honey.

After a little while,

He called down to you.

Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper.

Hello.

I think the bees suspect something.

What sort of thing?

I don't know.

But something tells me that they're suspicious.

Perhaps they think you're after the honey.

It may be that you never can tell with bees.

There was another little silence.

And then he called down again.

Christopher Robin?

Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so.

I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it and look up at me every now and then and say,

It looks like rain.

I think if you did that,

It would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees.

You laughed to yourself.

Silly old bear.

But you didn't say it out loud because you were so fond of him.

And you went home for your umbrella.

Oh,

There you are,

Called down Winnie the Pooh as soon as you got back to the tree.

I was beginning to get anxious.

I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious.

Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said.

Yes.

But wait a moment.

We must be practical.

The important bee to deceive is the queen bee.

Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No.

A pity.

Well now,

If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying,

It looks like rain.

I shall do what I can by singing a little cloud song such as a cloud might sing.

So while you're walking up and down and wondering if it would rain,

Winnie the Pooh sang this song.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.

Every little cloud always sings aloud.

How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue to make him very proud to be a little cloud.

The bees were still buzzing as suspiciously as ever.

Some of them indeed left their nests and flew all around the cloud as it began the second verse of this song.

And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment and then got up again.

Christopher.

Ow.

Robin.

Called the cloud.

Yes.

I have just been thinking and I have come to a very important decision.

These are the wrong sort of bees.

Are they?

Quite the wrong sort.

So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey.

Would they?

Yes.

So I think I shall come down now.

How?

You asked.

Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this.

If he let go of the string he would fall.

Bump.

And he didn't like the idea of that.

So he thought for a long time and then he said.

Christopher Robin.

You must shoot the balloon down with your pea shooter.

Have you got it?

Of course I have.

You said.

But if I do that it will spoil your balloon.

You said.

But if you don't said Pooh I shall have to let go and that would spoil me.

When he put it like this you saw how it was and you aimed very carefully with your pea shooter at the balloon and fired.

Ow!

Said Pooh.

Did I miss?

You asked.

You didn't exactly miss said Pooh.

But you missed the balloon.

I'm so sorry.

You said.

As you fired again with a big puff of breath.

And this time you hit the balloon and the air came slowly out and Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground.

But his arms were so stiff from holding onto the string or the balloon all that time they stayed straight up in the air for more than a week and whenever a fly came to settle on his nose he had to blow it off.

And I think but I'm not sure that that is why he was always called Pooh.

Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin.

That's the end of that one.

There are others.

About Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and all of you.

Don't you remember?

I do remember.

And then when I'm trying to remember I forget.

And that's why he likes having it told to him again because then it's a real story and not just a remembering.

Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh.

Yawned.

And yawns are catching so Winnie the Pooh yawned too.

Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin.

Yes,

Said Pooh.

Very much so.

The end.

Edward Bear known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh or Pooh for short was walking through the forest one day humming proudly to himself.

He had made up a little hum that very morning as he was doing his stoutness exercises in front of the glass.

Tra-la-la Tra-la-la as he stretched out his arms stretched up as high as he could go.

Tra-la-la Oh,

Help!

As he tried to reach his toes.

After breakfast he had said it over and over to himself until he had learned it off by heart and now he was humming it right through properly.

It went like this.

Tra-la-la Tra-la-la Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum He was humming this hum to himself and walking gaily along wondering what everybody else was doing and what it felt like being someone else when suddenly he came to a sandy bank and in the bank was a large hole.

Aha,

Said Pooh.

Rum-tiddle-um-tum If I know anything about anything that hole means rabbit,

He said.

And rabbit means company,

He said.

And company means food.

And listening to me humming and such like Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um So he bent down put his head into the hole and called out Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole and then silence.

What I said was Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh very loudly.

No,

Said a voice and then added You needn't shout so loud I heard you quite well the first time.

Bother,

Said Pooh Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody.

Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole and thought for a little.

He thought to himself There must be somebody there because somebody must have said nobody.

So he put his head back in the hole and said Hello rabbit Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit in a different sort of voice this time.

But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit.

Oh,

Said Pooh He took his head out of the hole and had another think.

And then he put it back and said Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear who is a great friend of his.

But this is me said Bear Very much surprised.

What sort of me?

Pooh Bear Are you sure?

Said rabbit Still more surprised.

Quite quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear Oh well then,

Come in.

So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed and pushed his way through the hole and at last got in.

You were quite right,

Said rabbit looking at him all over.

It is you.

Glad to see you.

Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure.

You know how it is in the forest one can't have anybody coming to one's house one has to be careful.

What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something at 11 o'clock in the morning and he was very glad to see rabbit getting out the plates and mugs.

And when rabbit said honey or condensed milk with your bread he was so excited that he said both and then so as not to seem greedy he added but don't bother about the bread please and for a long time after that he said nothing.

Until at last humming to himself in a rather sticky voice he caught up shook rabbit lovingly by the paw and said that he must be going on.

Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely.

Well,

Said Pooh I could stay a little longer if you and he tried very hard to look in the direction of the larder.

As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit I was going up myself directly.

Oh well then I'll be going on.

Goodbye Well,

Goodbye.

If you're sure you don't have any more is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly.

Rabbit took the covers off the dishes and said No,

There wasn't.

I thought not,

Said Pooh nodding to himself.

Well,

Goodbye I must be going on.

So he started to climb out of the hole he pulled with his front paws and pushed with his back paws and in a little while his nose was out and he opened again and then his ears and then his front paws and then his shoulders and then Oh help said Pooh I better go back Oh bother said Pooh I shall have to go on I can't do either Oh help Oh bother Now,

By this time rabbit wanted to go for a walk too and finding the front door full he went out by the back door and came round to Pooh and looked at him Hello Are you stuck?

He asked No said Pooh carelessly Just resting I think and humming to myself Here,

Give us a paw Pooh bear stretched out a paw and rabbit pulled and pulled and pulled Ow!

Cried Pooh bear You're hurting The fact is,

Said rabbit You're stuck It all comes,

Said Pooh crossly of not having front doors big enough It all comes,

Said rabbit sternly of eating too much I thought at the time,

Said rabbit only I didn't like to say anything that one of us was eating too much and I knew it wasn't me,

He said Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest and when he came back with rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh,

He said Silly old bear in such a loving voice that everybody felt quite hopeful again I was just beginning to think,

Said bear sniffing slightly that rabbit might never be able to use his front door again and I should hate that,

He said So should I,

Said rabbit Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin Of course he'll use his front door again Good,

Said rabbit If we can't pull you out,

Pooh we might push you back Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully and pointed out that when once Pooh was pushed back he was back and of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh than he was Still,

It was some lived in trees and some undergrowth and You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh I mean,

Said rabbit Having got so far it seems a pity to waste it Christopher Robin nodded Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said We shall have to wait for you to get thin again How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously About a week I should think But I can't stay here for a week You can stay here alright,

Silly old bear It's getting you out which is difficult We'll read to you,

Said rabbit cheerfully And I hope it won't snow,

He added And I say old fellow You're taking up a good deal of room in my house Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean they are doing nothing and it would be very convenient just to hang the towels on them A week,

Said Pooh gloomily What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin Because of getting thin quicker But we will read to you Bear began to sigh And then he found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck And a tear rolled down his eye As he said Then would you read a sustaining book Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear in great tightness So for a week,

Christopher Robin read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh And rabbit hung his washing on the south end And in between Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer And at the end of the week Christopher Robin said Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws And rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of rabbit And they all pulled together And for a long time Pooh only said Ow!

And whoa!

And then all of a sudden He said Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle And Christopher Robin and rabbit And all rabbit's friends and relations Went head over heels backwards And on top of them Came Winnie the Pooh Free!

So with a nod of thanks to his friends He went on with his walk through the forest Humming proudly to himself But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly And said to himself Silly old bear One fine winter's day When Piglet was brushing away the snow In front of his house He happened to look up And there was Winnie the Pooh Pooh was walking round and round in a circle Thinking of something else And when Piglet called to him He just went on walking Hello,

Said Piglet What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh Very mysteriously Tracking what,

Said Piglet Coming closer I shall have to wait until I catch up with it Said Winnie the Pooh Now look there He pointed to the ground in front of him What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet Poor Marks He gave a little squeak of excitement Oh Pooh Do you think it's a Woosel?

It may be,

Said Pooh Sometimes it is And sometimes it isn't He never can tell with poor Marks With these few words He went on tracking And Piglet After watching him for a minute or two Ran after him Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop And was bending over the tracks In a puzzled sort of way What's the matter?

Asked Piglet It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear But there seem to be two animals now This,

Whatever it is Has been joined by another Whatever it is And the two of them are now proceeding in company Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet?

In case they turn out to be hostile animals Piglet scratched his ear In a nice sort of way And said they had nothing to do until Friday And would be delighted to come In case it really was a Woosel You mean in case it really is two Woosels,

Said Winnie the Pooh And Piglet said that anyhow He had nothing to do until Friday So off they went together There was a small spinny of large trees just here And it seemed as if the two Woosels If that is what they were Had been going round this spinny So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh What his grandfather had done to remove stiffness After tracking And other matters of interest And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like And if perhaps this was two grandfathers That they were after now And if so Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it And what Christopher Robin would say And still the tracks went on in front of them Suddenly Winnie the Pooh stopped And pointed excitedly in front of him Look!

What said Piglet With a jump And then to show that he hadn't been frightened He jumped up and down once or twice More in an exercising sort of way The tracks,

Said Pooh A third animal has joined the other two Pooh,

Cried Piglet Do you think it's another Woosel?

No,

Said Pooh Because it makes different marks Let us continue to follow them So they went on Feeling just a little bit anxious now In case the three animals in front of them Were of hostile intent And Pooh thought how nice it would be If they met Christopher Robin suddenly But quite accidentally And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much And then All of a sudden Winnie the Pooh stopped again And licked the tip of his nose In a cooling manner For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before There were now four animals in front of them Do you see it Piglet?

Look at their tracks Another Woosel has joined them And so it seemed to be There were the tracks crossing over each other here Getting muddled up with each other there But Quite plainly every now and then The tracks of four sets of paws I think,

Said Piglet When he had licked the tip of his nose too And found that it brought very little comfort I think I've just remembered something That I forgot to do yesterday And I shan't be able to do tomorrow So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now We'll do it this afternoon And I'll come with you,

Said Pooh It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon Said Piglet quickly It's a very particular morning thing That I think has to be done in the morning And if possible Between the hours of What would you say the time was?

About twelve Said Winnie the Pooh Looking at the sun Between,

As I was saying The hours of twelve And twelve-five So really Dear old Pooh If you'll excuse me What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky And then He heard the whistle again And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree And then he saw a friend of his It's Christopher Robin,

He said Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet You'll be quite safe with him Goodbye And he trotted off home as quickly as he could Very glad to be out of all danger again Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree Silly old bear,

He said What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself And then Piglet ran after you And you went round again together And then you were just going round a fourth time Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh Holding up his paw He sat down and thought In the most thoughtful way he could think Then he fitted his paw Into one of the tracks And then he scratched his nose twice And stood up Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh I see it now I've been foolish and deluded,

He said And I am a bear of no brain at all You're the best bear in all the world Said Christopher Robin,

Soothingly Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully And then he brightened up suddenly Anyhow,

He said It's nearly luncheon time So he went home for it The old grey donkey,

Eeyore Stood by himself In the thistly corner of the forest His front feet well apart His head on one side And thought about things Sometimes he thought sadly to himself Why?

And sometimes he thought Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little In order to say How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him And how are you?

Said Winnie the Pooh Eeyore shook his head from side to side Not very how?

He said I don't seem to have felt at all how For a long time Oh dear,

Said Pooh I'm sorry about that Let's have a look at you So Eeyore stood there Gazing sadly at the ground And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore It isn't there Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there Or it isn't there You can't make a mistake about it And yours isn't there Then what is?

Nothing Let's have a look Said Eeyore As he turned slowly round To the place where his tail had been A little while ago And then Finding that he couldn't catch it up He turned round the other way Until he came back to where he was at first And then he put his head down And looked between his front legs And at last he said With a long sad sigh I believe you're right Of course I'm right said Pooh That accounts for a good deal Said Eeyore gloomily It explains everything No wonder You must have left it somewhere Said Winnie the Pooh Somebody must have taken it Said Eeyore How like them He added After a long silence Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful About it But didn't quite know what So he decided to do something helpful Instead Eeyore He said solemnly I Winnie the Pooh Will find your tail Thank you Pooh Answered Eeyore You're a real friend He said Not like some So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail It was a fine spring morning in the forest As he started out Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky Skipping from time to time In front of the sun As if they had come to put it out And then sliding away suddenly So that the next might have his turn Through them and between them The sun shone bravely And a copse Which had worn its furs all year round Seemed old and dowdy now Beside the new green lace Which the beaches had put on prettily Through the copse and spinny Marched Bear Down open slopes of gores and heather Over rocky beds of streams Up steep banks of sandstone Into the heather again And so at last Tired and hungry To the hundred acre wood For it was the hundred acre wood That Owl lived And if anyone knows anything About anything Said Bear to himself It's Owl who knew something about something He said Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh Which it is,

He added So there you are Owl lived at the chestnuts An old world residence of great charm Which was grander than anybody else's Or seemed so to Bear Because it had both a knocker and bell pull Underneath the knocker There was a notice which said Please ring if an answer is required Underneath the bell pull There was a notice which said Please knock if an answer is not required These notices had been written By Christopher Robin Who was the only one in the forest Who could spell For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways Able to read and write And spell his own name Wol,

It somehow went all to pieces Over delicate words like Measles and buttered toast Winnie the Pooh read the two notices Very carefully First from left to right And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it From right to left Then,

To make quite sure He knocked and pulled the knocker And he pulled and knocked the bell rope And he called out in a very loud voice Owl,

I require an answer It's Bear speaking And the door opened And Owl looked out Hello Pooh,

He said How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine Has lost his tail And he's moping about it So could you very kindly tell me How to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl The customary procedure,

In such cases Is as follows What does crusty money proceed cake mean?

Said Pooh For I am a bear of very little brain And long words bother me It means things to do As long as it means that I don't mind,

Said Pooh humbly The thing to do is as follows First,

Issue a reward Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh Holding up his paw What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't You can't sneeze without knowing it Well,

You can't know it Without something having been sneezed What I said was First,

Issue a reward You're doing it again,

Said Pooh sadly A reward,

Said Owl very loudly We write a notice to say That we'll give a large something To anybody who finds Eeyore's tail I see,

I see,

Said Pooh,

Nodding his head Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily I generally have a small something about now About this time in the morning And he looked wistfully at the cupboard In the corner of Owl's parlour Just a mouthful of condensed milk or whatnot With perhaps a lick of honey Well then,

Said Owl We will write out this notice And we put it up all over the forest A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself Or,

Or not,

As the case may be He gave a deep sigh And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying But Owl went on and on Using longer and longer words Until at last he came back to where he had started And he explained that the person to write out this notice Was Christopher Robin It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes And no in turn With his eyes shut to all that Owl was saying And having said yes,

Yes the last time He said,

No,

Not at all Without really knowing what Owl was talking about Did you see them,

Said Owl A little surprised Come and look at them now So they went outside Pooh looked at the knocker And the notice below it And he looked up at the bell rope And the notice below it And the more he looked at the bell rope The more he felt that he'd seen something like it Somewhere else Some time before Handsome bell rope,

Isn't it?

Said Owl Pooh nodded It reminds me of something he said But I can't think what Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest It was hanging over a bush And I thought at first somebody lived there So I rang it And nothing happened And then I rang it again Very loudly And it came off in my hand And as nobody seemed to want it I took it home and Owl,

Said Pooh solemnly You made a mistake Somebody did want it Who?

Eeyore My friend Eeyore He was fond of it Fond of it?

Attached to it Said Winnie the Pooh sadly So with these words he unhooked it And carried it back to Eeyore And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on In its right place again Eeyore frisked about in the forest Waving his tail so happily That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny And had to hurry home for a little snack Of something to sustain him And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards He sang to himself proudly Pooh found the tail I said Pooh At a quarter to two Only it was a quarter to eleven really I found the tail One day when Christopher Robin And Winnie the Pooh and Piglet Were all talking together Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating And said carelessly I saw a heffalump today Piglet What was it doing?

Asked Piglet Just lumping around Said Christopher Robin I don't think it saw me I saw one once Said Piglet At least I think I did Only perhaps it wasn't So did I Said Pooh Wondering what a heffalump was like You don't often see them Said Christopher Robin carelessly Not now Said Piglet Not at this time of year Said Pooh Then they all talked about something else Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet To go home together At first they stomped along the path Which edged the hundred acre wood They didn't say much to each other But when they came to the stream And had helped each other across the stepping stones And were able to walk side by side again Over the heather They began to talk in a friendly way About this and that And Piglet said If you see what I mean Pooh And Pooh said It's just what I think myself Piglet And Piglet said But on the other hand Pooh we must remember And Pooh said Quite true Piglet Although I had forgotten it for the moment And then just as they came to the six pine trees Pooh looked around To see that nobody else was listening And said in a very solemn voice Piglet I have decided something What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided To catch a heffalump Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this And waited for Piglet to say How?

Or Pooh you couldn't Or something helpful of that sort But Piglet said nothing The fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first I shall do it said Pooh After waiting a little longer By means of a trap And it must be a cunning trap So you will have to help me Piglet Pooh said Piglet Feeling quite happy again now I will And then he said How shall we do it?

And Pooh said That's just it How?

And then they sat down together to think about it Pooh's first idea Was that they should dig a very deep pit And then the heffalump would come along And fall into the pit Why?

Said Piglet Why what?

Said Pooh Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw And said That a heffalump might be walking along Humming a little song And looking up at the sky Wondering if it would rain And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that this was a very good trap But supposing it were raining already Pooh rubbed his nose again And said that he hadn't thought of that And then he brightened up And said that If it were raining already The heffalump would be looking up at the sky Wondering if it would clear up And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that now this point had been explained He thought it was a cunning trap Pooh was very proud when he heard this And felt that the heffalump was as good as caught already But there was just one other thing Which he hadn't thought about And it was this Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place Would be somewhere where a heffalump was Just before he fell into it Only about a foot further on But then he would see us digging it Said Pooh Not if he was looking at the sky He would suspect,

Said Pooh If he happened to look down He thought for a long time And then added sadly It isn't as easy as I thought I suppose that's why heffalumps hardly ever get caught That must be it,

Said Piglet They sighed and got up And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves They sat down again And all the time Pooh was saying to himself If only I could think of something For he felt sure that a very clever brain Could catch a heffalump If only he knew the right way to go about it Suppose,

He said to Piglet You wanted to catch me How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet I should do it like this I should make a trap And I should put a jar of honey in the trap And you would smell it And you would go after it And.

.

.

And I would go in after it,

Said Pooh excitedly Only very carefully So as not to hurt myself And I'd get to the jar of honey And I should lick round the edges first of all Pretending that there wasn't any more You know And then I should walk away And think about it a little And then I should come back And start licking in the middle of the jar And then Never mind about that There you would be And there I should catch you Now the first thing to think of is What do heffalumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say Wake up,

Pooh Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream Woke up with a start And said that honey was a much more trappy thing than acorns Piglet didn't think so And they were just going to argue about it When Piglet remembered that If they put acorns in the trap He would have to find the acorns But if they put honey Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey So he said All right,

Honey then Just as Pooh remembered it too And was going to say All right,

Acorns Honey,

Said Piglet to himself In a thoughtful way As if it were now settled I'll dig the pit While you go and get the honey Very well,

Said Pooh As he stumped off As soon as he got home He went to the larder And he stood on a chair And took down a very large jar of honey From the top of the shelf It had honey written on it But just to make sure He took off the paper cover And looked at it And it looked just like honey But you never can tell,

Said Pooh I remember my uncle saying once That he had seen cheese just this color So he put his tongue in And took a large lick Yes,

He said It is Yes,

No doubt about that And honey,

I should say Right down to the bottom of the jar Unless,

Of course,

He said Somebody put cheese at the bottom Just for a joke Perhaps I had better go a little further Just in case In case heffalumps don't like cheese Same as me And he gave a deep sigh I was right It is honey Right the way down Having made certain of this He took the jar back to Piglet And Piglet looked up from the bottom Of his very deep pit And said Got it?

And Pooh said Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar And he threw it down to Piglet And Piglet said No,

It isn't Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said Yes So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit And climbed out And they went off home together Well,

Goodnight Pooh Said Piglet When they had got to Pooh's house And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning By the pine trees And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap Six o'clock,

Piglet And have you got any string?

No?

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with Oh I think heffalumps come if you whistle Some do Some don't He never can tell with heffalumps Well,

Goodnight Goodnight And off Piglet trotted to his house While Pooh made his preparations for bed Some hours later Just as the night was beginning to steer away Pooh woke up suddenly With a sinking feeling He had had that sinking feeling before And he knew what it meant He was hungry So he went to the larder And he stood on a chair And reached up to the top shelf And found Nothing That's funny He thought I know I had a jar of honey there A full jar Full of honey Right up to the top And it had honey written on it So that I should know it was honey That's very funny Then he began to wander up and down Wondering where it was And murmuring a murmur to himself Like this It's very,

Very funny Because I know I had some honey Because it had a label on Saying honey A galoptuous full up pot too And I don't know where it's got to No,

I don't know where it's gone Well,

It's funny He had murmured this to himself three times In a singing sort of way When suddenly he remembered He had put it into the cunning trap To catch the heffalump Oh bother,

Said Pooh It all comes from trying to be kind to heffalumps And he got back into bed But he couldn't sleep The more he tried to sleep The more he couldn't He tried counting sheep Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep And as that was no good He tried counting heffalumps And that was worse Because every heffalump that he counted Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey And eating it all For some minutes he lay there miserably But when the 587th heffalump Was licking its jaws And saying to itself Very good honey this I don't know when I've tasted better Pooh could bear it no longer He jumped out of bed He ran out of the house And he ran straight to the six pine trees The sun was still in bed But there was a lightness in the sky Over the hundred acre wood Which seemed to show that it was waking up And would soon be kicking off the clothes In the half light The pine trees looked cold and lonely And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom Was something mysterious A shape And no more But as he got nearer to it His nose told him that it was indeed honey And his tongue came out And began to polish up his mouth Ready for it Bother,

Said Pooh As he got his nose inside the jar A heffalump has been eating it And then he thought a little and said Oh no I did I forgot Indeed,

He had eaten most of it But there was a little left At the very bottom of the jar And he pushed his head right in And began to lick By and by,

Piglet woke up As soon as he woke He said to himself Oh,

And then he said Yes And then,

Still more bravely Quite so But he didn't feel very brave For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain Was heffalumps What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs Would it make any difference If the pig had a grandfather Called Trespasser's William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions And he was going to see his first heffalump In about an hour from now Of course,

Pooh would be with him And it was much more friendly with two But suppose Heffalumps were very fierce With pigs and bears Wouldn't it be better To pretend that he had a headache?

And couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning But then suppose That it was a very fine day And there was no heffalump in the trap Here he would be In bed all morning Simply wasting his time for nothing What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea He would go up very quietly To the six pine trees now Peep very cautiously into the trap And see if there was a heffalump there And if there was He would go back to bed And if there wasn't He wouldn't So off he went At first He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap And then he thought that there would And as he got nearer He was sure that there would Because he could hear it heffalumping about Like anything Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear Said Piglet to himself And now he wanted to run away But somehow Having got so near He felt that he must just see What a heffalump was like So he crept to the side of the trap And looked in And all the time Winnie the Pooh Had been trying to get the honey jar Off his head The more he shook it The more tightly it stuck Father,

He said Inside the jar And Oh help And mostly Ow And he tried bumping it against things But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against And it didn't help him And he tried to climb out of the trap But he could see nothing but jar And not much of that He couldn't find his way So at last He lifted up his head Jar and all And made a loud roaring noise Of sadness and despair And it was at that moment That Piglet looked down Help Help Cried Piglet A heffalump A horrible heffalump And he scarpered off as hard as he could Still crying out Help Help A herrible heffalump A herrible hoffalump Hoff Hoff A hellable horralump Ho Ho A hoffable hellerump And he didn't stop crying And scampering Until he got To Christopher Robin's house Whatever is the matter,

Piglet Said Christopher Robin He was just getting up Heff Heff Said Piglet Breathing so hard That he could hardly speak A heff A heff A heffalump Where?

Up there,

Said Piglet Waving his paw Well,

What did it look like?

Like Like It had the biggest head you ever saw,

Christopher Robin A great enormous thing Like Like nothing A huge big,

Well,

Like a I don't know Like an enormous big nothing Like a jar Well,

Said Christopher Robin Putting on his shoes I shall go and look at it Come on Piglet wasn't afraid If he had Christopher Robin with him So off they went I can hear it Can you?

Said Piglet Anxiously As they got near I can hear something Said Christopher Robin It was Poo Bumping his head against a tree root he had found There,

Said Piglet Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh He laughed And he laughed And he laughed And while he was still laughing Crash went the heffalump's head against the tree root Smash went the jar And out came Poo's head again Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been And he was so ashamed of himself That he ran straight off home And went to bed with a headache But Christopher Robin and Poo Followed Piglet home And made him a special breakfast And told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all And that they both love him very much Once upon a time A very long time ago now About last Friday Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest All by himself Under the name of Sanders One day When he was out walking He came to an open place In the middle of the forest And in the middle of this place Was a large oak tree And from the top of the tree There came a loud buzzing noise Winnie the Pooh sat down At the foot of the tree Put his head between his paws And began to think First of all,

He said to himself That buzzing noise means something You don't get a buzzing noise like that Just buzzing and buzzing Without its meaning something If there's a buzzing noise Somebody's making a buzzing noise And the only reason for making a buzzing noise That I know of Is because you're a bee Then he thought another long time And said And the only reason for being a bee That I know of Is making honey And then he got up and said And the only reason for making honey Is so that I can eat it So he began to climb the tree He climbed and he climbed And he climbed And as he climbed He sang a little song to himself It went like this Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz I wonder why he does Then he climbed a little further And a little further And then just a little further By that time He had thought of another song It's a very funny thought If bears were bees They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees And that being so If the bees were bears We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs He was getting rather tired by this time So that is why he sang a complaining song He was nearly there now And if he just stood on that branch Crack Oh help!

Said Poo As he dropped ten feet to the branch below him If only I hadn't He said As he bounced twenty feet on the next branch You see What I meant to do He explained As he turned head over heels And crashed onto another branch Thirty feet below What I meant to do Of course It was rather He admitted As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches It all comes I suppose He decided As he said goodbye to the last branch Spun round three times And flew gracefully into a gorse bush It all comes of liking honey so much Oh help!

He crawled out of the gorse bush Brushed the prickles from his nose And began to think again And the first person he thought of Was Christopher Robin So Winnie the Pooh Went round to his friend Christopher Robin Who lived behind a green door In another part of the forest Good morning Christopher Robin He said Good morning Winnie the Pooh Said you I wonder if you've got such a thing As a balloon about you A balloon?

Yes I just said to myself coming along I wonder if Christopher Robin Has such a thing as a balloon about him What do you want a balloon for?

He said Winnie the Pooh Looked round to see that nobody was listening Put his paw to his mouth And said in a deep whisper Honey But you don't get honey with balloons I do said Pooh Well it just happened That you had been to a party the day before At the house of your friend Piglet And you had balloons at the party You'd had big green balloons And one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one And had left it behind And so you had brought the green one And the blue one home with you Which one would you like?

You asked Pooh He put his head between his paws And thought Very carefully It's like this he said When you go after honey with a balloon The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming Now if you have a green balloon They might think you are only part of the tree And not notice you And if you have a blue balloon They might think you're only part of the sky And not notice you And the question is Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon?

You asked They might Or they might not Said Winnie the Pooh You never can tell with bees He thought for a moment and said I shall try to look like a small black cloud That will deceive them Then you had better have the blue balloon He said And so it was decided You both went out with the blue balloon And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of And rolled and rolled Until he was black all over And then when the balloon was blown up as big as big And you and Pooh were both holding on to the string You let go suddenly And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky And stayed there Level with the top of the tree And about 20 feet away from it Hooray,

You shouted Isn't that fine?

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding on to a balloon,

You said Not,

Said Pooh anxiously Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much Ah well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different And as I say,

You never can tell with bees There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree So he stayed He could see the honey He could smell the honey But he couldn't quite reach the honey After a little while,

He called down to you Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper Hello,

I think the bees suspect something What sort of thing?

I don't know But something tells me that they're suspicious Perhaps they think you're after the honey It may be that,

You never can tell with bees There was another little silence And then he called down again Christopher Robin Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so I wish you would bring it out here And walk up and down with it And look up at me every now and then And say It looks like rain I think if you did that It would help the deception Which we are practising on these bees You laughed to yourself Silly old bear But you didn't say it out loud Because you were so fond of him And you went home for your umbrella Oh,

There you are Called down Winnie the Pooh As soon as you got back to the tree I was beginning to get anxious I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said Yes,

But wait a moment We must be practical The important bee to deceive is the queen bee Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No,

A pity Well now If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying It looks like rain I shall do what I can By singing a little cloud song Such as a cloud might sing So while you are walking up and down And wondering if it would rain Winnie the Pooh sang this song How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue Every little cloud Always sings aloud How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue To make him very proud To be a little cloud The bees were still buzzing As suspiciously as ever Some of them Indeed left their nests And flew all around the cloud As it began the second verse of this song And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud For a moment And then got up again Christopher Ow!

Robin!

Called the cloud Yes?

I have just been thinking And I have come to a very important decision These are the wrong sort of bees Are they?

Quite the wrong sort So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey Would they?

Yes So I think I shall come down now How?

You asked Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this If he let go of the string He would fall Bump And he didn't like the idea of that So he thought for a long time And then he said Christopher Robin You must shoot the balloon down With your pea shooter Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said But if I do that It will spoil your balloon,

You said But if you don't,

Said Pooh I shall have to let go And that would spoil me When he put it like this You saw how it was And you aimed very carefully With your pea shooter At the balloon And fired Ow!

Said Pooh Did I miss?

You asked You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh But you missed the balloon I'm so sorry,

You said As you fired again With a big puff of breath And this time You hit the balloon And the air came slowly out And Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground But his arms were so stiff From holding onto the string of the balloon All that time They stayed straight up in the air For more than a week And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose He had to blow it off And I think But I'm not sure That that is why he was always called Pooh Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin That's the end of that one There are others About Pooh and me And Piglet And Rabbit And all of you Don't you remember?

I do remember And then when I'm trying to remember I forget And that's why he likes having it told to him again Because then it's a real story And not just a remembering Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh Yawned And yawns are catching So Winnie the Pooh yawned too Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin Yes,

Said Pooh Very much so The end Edward Bear Known to his friends As Winnie the Pooh Or Pooh for short Was walking through the forest one day Humming proudly to himself He had made up a little hum that very morning As he was doing his stoutness exercises In front of the glass Tra-la-la Tra-la-la As he stretched up as high as he could go Tra-la-la Oh,

Help!

As he tried to reach his toes After breakfast He had said it over and over to himself Until he had learned it off by heart And now he was humming it right through Properly It went like this Tra-la-la Tra-la-la Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum He was humming this hum to himself And walking gaily along Wondering what everybody else was doing And what it felt like Being someone else When suddenly he came to a sandy bank And in the bank was a large hole Aha!

Said Pooh Rum-tiddle-um-tum If I know anything about anything That hole means rabbit He said And rabbit means company He said And company means food And listening to me humming And such like Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um So he bent down Put his head into the hole And called out Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole And then silence What I said was Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh Very loudly Nope Said a voice And then added You needn't shout so loud I heard you quite well the first time Bother Said Pooh Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole And thought for a little He thought to himself There must be somebody there Because Somebody must have said nobody So he put his head back in the hole And said Hello rabbit Is that you?

No Said rabbit In a different sort of voice this time But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so Said rabbit Oh Said Pooh He took his head out of the hole And had another think And then he put it back And said Well Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear Who is a great friend of his But this is me Said bear Very much surprised What sort of me?

Pooh bear Are you sure?

Said rabbit Still more surprised Quite quite sure Said Pooh bear Oh well then Come in So Pooh bear pushed and pushed And pushed his way through the hole And at last got in You were quite right Said rabbit Looking at him all over It is you Glad to see you Who did you think it was?

Well I wasn't sure You know how it is in the forest One can't have anybody coming to one's house One has to be careful What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something At eleven o'clock in the morning And he was very glad to see rabbit Getting out the plates and mugs And when rabbit said Honey or condensed milk with your bread He was so excited That he said Both And then So as not to seem greedy He added But don't bother about the bread Please And for a long time after that He said nothing Until at last Humming to himself In a rather sticky voice He caught up Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw And said that he must be going on Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely Well said Pooh I could stay a little longer If you And he tried very hard to look in the direction Of the larder As a matter of fact Said rabbit I was going up myself Directly Oh well then I'll be going on Goodbye Well goodbye If you're sure you won't have any more Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly Rabbit took the covers off the dishes And said No there wasn't I thought not Said Pooh Nodding to himself Well goodbye I must be going on So he started to climb out of the hole He pulled with his front paws And pushed with his back paws And in a little while His nose was out and he opened again And then his ears And then his front paws And then his shoulders And then Oh help Said Pooh I better go back Oh bother Said Pooh I shall have to go on I can't do either Oh help Oh bother Now by this time Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too And finding the front door full He went out by the back door And came round to Pooh And looked at him Hello Are you stuck?

He asked No Said Pooh carelessly Just resting I think And humming to myself Here give us a paw Pooh Bear stretched out a paw And Rabbit pulled And pulled And pulled Ow Cried Pooh Bear You're hurting The fact is Said Rabbit You're stuck It all comes Said Pooh carelessly Of not having front doors big enough It all comes Said Rabbit sternly Of eating too much I thought at the time Said Rabbit Only I didn't like to say anything That one of us was eating too much And I knew it wasn't me He said Well I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin Christopher Robin Lived at the other end of the forest And when he came back with Rabbit And saw the front half of Pooh He said Silly old bear In such a loving voice That everybody felt quite hopeful again I was just beginning to think Said Bear Sniffing slightly That Rabbit might never be able To use his front door again And I should hate that He said So should I Said Rabbit Use his front door again Said Christopher Robin Of course he'll use his front door again Good Said Rabbit If we can't pull you out Pooh We might push you back Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully And pointed out that When once Pooh was pushed back He was back And of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh Than he was Still it was Some lived in trees And some undergrowth and You mean I'd never get out Said Pooh I mean Said Rabbit Having got so far It seems a pity to waste it Christopher Robin nodded Then there's only one thing to be done He said We shall have to wait for you to get thin again How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously About a week I should think But I can't stay here for a week You can stay here all right Silly old bear It's getting you out which is difficult We'll read to you Said Rabbit cheerfully And I hope it won't snow He added And I say old fellow You're taking up a good deal of room in my house Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean They are doing nothing And it would be very convenient Just to hang the towels on them A week Said Pooh gloomily What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals Said Christopher Robin Because of getting thin quicker But we will read to you Bear began to sigh And then he found he couldn't Because he was so tightly stuck And a tear rolled down his eye As he said Then would you read a sustaining book Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear In great tightness So for a week Christopher Robin read that sort of book At the north end of Pooh And Rabbit hung his washing on the south end And in between Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer And at the end of the week Christopher Robin said Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin And all the Rabbit's friends and relations Took hold of Rabbit And they all pulled together And for a long time Pooh only said Ow!

And whoa!

And then all of a sudden He said Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle And Christopher Robin and Rabbit And all Rabbit's friends and relations Went head over heels backwards And on top of them Came Winnie the Pooh Free!

So with a nod of thanks to his friends He went on with his walk through the forest Humming proudly to himself But Christopher Robin Looked after him lovingly And said to himself Silly old bear!

One fine winter's day When Piglet was brushing away the snow In front of his house He happened to look up And there was Winnie the Pooh Pooh was walking round and round in a circle Thinking of something else And when Piglet called to him He just went on walking Hello said Piglet What are you doing?

Hunting said Pooh Hunting what?

Tracking something Said Winnie the Pooh Very mysteriously Tracking what?

Said Piglet Coming closer I shall have to wait until I catch up with it Said Winnie the Pooh Now look there He pointed to the ground in front of him What do you see there?

Tracks?

Said Piglet Paw marks He gave a little squeak of excitement Oh Pooh Do you think it's a A Woozle?

It may be said Pooh Sometimes it is And sometimes it isn't He never can tell with paw marks With these few words He went on tracking And Piglet After watching him for a minute or two Ran after him Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop And was bending over the tracks In a puzzled sort of way What's the matter?

Asked Piglet It's a very funny thing Said Bear But there seem to be two animals now This Whatever it is Has been joined by another Whatever it is And the two of them Are now proceeding in company Would you mind coming with me Piglet?

In case they turn out to be hostile animals Piglet scratched his ear In a nice sort of way And said They had nothing to do until Friday And would be delighted to come In case it really was a Woozle You mean in case it really is two Woozles?

Said Winnie the Pooh And Piglet said that anyhow He had nothing to do until Friday So off they went together There was a small spinny of large trees Just here And it seemed as if the two Woozles If that is what they were Had been going round this spinny So round this spinny Went Pooh and Piglet After them Piglet passing the time By telling Pooh What his grandfather had done To remove stiffness After tracking And other matters of interest And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like And if perhaps this was two grandfathers That they were after now And if so Whether he would be allowed to take one home And keep it And what Christopher Robin would say And still the tracks went on in front of them Suddenly Winnie the Pooh stopped And pointed excitedly in front of him Look!

What?

Said Piglet With a jump And then to show that he hadn't been frightened He jumped up and down once or twice More in an exercising sort of way The tracks!

Said Pooh A third animal has joined the other two Pooh!

Cried Piglet Do you think it's another woosel?

No Said Pooh Because it makes different marks Let us continue to follow them So they went on Feeling just a little bit anxious now In case the three animals in front of them Were of hostile intent And Pooh thought how nice it would be If they met Christopher Robin Suddenly But quite accidentally And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much And then All of a sudden Winnie the Pooh stopped again And licked the tip of his nose In a cooling manner For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever In his life before There were now four animals in front of them Do you see it Piglet?

Look at their tracks!

Another woosel has joined them And so it seemed to be There were the tracks crossing over each other here Getting muddled up with each other there But Quite plainly every now and then The tracks of four sets of paws I think Said Piglet When he had licked the tip of his nose too And found that it brought very little comfort I think I've just remembered something That I forgot to do yesterday And I shan't be able to do tomorrow So I suppose I really ought to go back And do it now We'll do it this afternoon And I'll come with you Said Pooh It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon Said Piglet quickly It's a very particular morning thing That I think has to be done in the morning And if possible Between the hours of What would you say the time was?

About twelve Said Winnie the Pooh Looking at the sun Between As I was saying The hours of twelve And twelve five So really Dear old Pooh If you'll excuse me What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky And then He heard the whistle again And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree And then he saw a friend of his It's Christopher Robin He said Ah then you'll be all right Said Piglet You'll be quite safe with him Goodbye And he trotted off home as quickly as he could Very glad to be out of all danger again Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree Silly old bear He said What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself And then Piglet ran after you And you went round again together And then you were just going round a fourth time Wait a moment Said Winnie the Pooh Holding up his paw He sat down and thought In the most thoughtful way he could think Then he fitted his paw Into one of the tracks And then he scratched his nose twice And stood up Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh I see it now I've been foolish and deluded He said And I am a bear of no brain at all You're the best bear in all the world Said Christopher Robin Soothingly Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully And then he brightened up suddenly Anyhow,

He said It's nearly luncheon time So he went home for it The old grey donkey Eeyore Stood by himself In the thistly corner of the forest His front feet well apart His head on one side And thought about things Sometimes he thought sadly to himself Why?

And sometimes he thought Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know What he was thinking about So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along Eeyore was very glad to be able To stop thinking for a little In order to say How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him And how are you?

Said Winnie the Pooh Eeyore shook his head from side to side Not very well,

He said I don't seem to have felt at all how For a long time Oh dear,

Said Pooh I'm sorry about that Let's have a look at you So Eeyore stood there Gazing sadly at the ground And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore It isn't there Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there Or it isn't there You can't make a mistake about it And yours isn't there Then what is?

Nothing Let's have a look Said Eeyore As he turned slowly round To the place where his tail had been A little while ago And then,

Finding that he couldn't catch it up He turned round the other way Until he came back to where he was at first And then he put his head down And looked between his front legs And at last he said With a long sad sigh I believe you're right Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh That accounts for a good deal Said Eeyore gloomily It explains everything No wonder You must have left it somewhere Said Winnie the Pooh Somebody must have taken it Said Eeyore How like them He added After a long silence Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful About it But didn't quite know what So he decided to do something helpful Instead Eeyore He said solemnly I,

Winnie the Pooh Will find your tail Thank you,

Pooh Answered Eeyore You're a real friend He said Not like some So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail It was a fine spring morning in the forest As he started out Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky Skipping from time to time In front of the sun As if they had come to put it out And then sliding away suddenly So that the next might have his turn Through them And between them The sun shone bravely And a copse Which had worn its furs all year round Seemed old and dowdy now Beside the new green lace Which the beaches had put on prettily Through the copse and spinny Marched Bear Down open slopes of gauze and heather Over rocky beds of streams Up steep banks of sandstone Into the heather again And so at last Tired and hungry To the hundred acre wood For it was the hundred acre wood That Owl lived And if anyone knows anything about anything Said Bear to himself It's Owl who knew something about something He said Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh Which it is He added So there you are Owl lived at the chestnuts An old world residence of great charm Which was grander than anybody else's Or seemed so to Bear Because it had both a knocker and bell pull Underneath the knocker There was a notice which said Please ring if an answer is required Underneath the bell pull There was a notice which said Please knock if an answer is not required These notices had been written by Christopher Robin Who was the only one in the forest who could spell For Owl Wise though he was in many ways Able to read and write And spell his own name Whoa It somehow went all to pieces Over delicate words like Measles And buttered toast Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully First from left to right And afterwards in case he had missed some of it From right to left Then to make quite sure He knocked and pulled the knocker And he pulled and knocked the bell rope And he called out in a very loud voice Owl I require an answer It's Bear speaking And the door opened And Owl looked out Hello Pooh He said How's things?

Terrible and sad said Pooh Because Eeyore Who is a friend of mine Has lost his tail And he's moping about it So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well said Owl The customary procedure In such cases Is as follows What does Crusty money Proceed cake Mean?

Said Pooh For I am a bear of very little brain And long words bother me It means things to do As long as it means that I don't mind Said Pooh humbly The thing to do is as follows First Issue a reward Then Just a moment said Pooh Holding up his paw What were you saying?

You sneezed Just as you were going to tell me I didn't sneeze?

Yes you did Owl Excuse me Pooh I didn't You can't sneeze without knowing it Well You can't know it Without something having been sneezed What I said was First issue a reward You're doing it again said Pooh sadly A reward Said Owl very loudly We write a notice to say That we'll give a large something To anybody who finds Eeyore's tale I see I see Said Pooh Nodding his head Talking about large somethings He went on dreamily I generally have a small something About now About this time in the morning And he looked wistfully At the cupboard In the corner Of Owl's parlour Just a mouthful of condensed milk Or what not With perhaps a lick of honey Well then said Owl We will write out this notice And we put it up all over the forest A lick of honey Murmured Bear to himself Or Or not As the case may be He gave a deep sigh And tried very hard to listen To what Owl was saying But Owl went on and on Using longer and longer words Until at last he came back To where he had started And he explained that the person To write out this notice Was Christopher Robin It was he Who wrote the ones On my front door for me Did you see them Pooh?

For some time now Pooh had been saying yes And no in turn With his eyes shut To all that Owl was saying And having said yes yes The last time He said no not at all Without really knowing What Owl was talking about Did you see them?

Said Owl A little surprised Come and look at them now So they went outside Pooh looked at the knocker And the notice below it And he looked up at the bell rope And the notice below it And the more he looked at the bell rope The more he felt that he'd seen Something like it Somewhere else Some time before Handsome bell rope isn't it?

Said Owl Pooh nodded It reminds me of something he said But I can't think what Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest It was hanging over a bush And I thought at first Somebody lived there So I rang it And nothing happened And then I rang it again Very loudly And it came off in my hand And as nobody seemed to want it I took it home And Owl Said Pooh solemnly You made a mistake Somebody did want it Who?

Eeyore My friend Eeyore He was fond of it Fond of it?

Attached to it Said Winnie the Pooh sadly So with these words He unhooked it And carried it back to Eeyore And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on In its right place again Eeyore frisked about in the forest Waving his tail so happily That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny And had to hurry home for a little snack Of something to sustain him And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards He sang to himself proudly Pooh found the tail I said Pooh At a quarter to two Only it was a quarter to eleven really I found the tail One day When Christopher Robin And Winnie the Pooh And Piglet Were all talking together Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating And said carelessly I saw a heffalump today Piglet What was it doing?

Asked Piglet Just lumping around Said Christopher Robin I don't think it saw me I saw one once Said Piglet At least I think I did Only perhaps it wasn't So did I Said Pooh Wondering what a heffalump was like You don't often see them Said Christopher Robin carelessly Not now Said Piglet Not at this time of year Said Pooh Then they all talked about something else Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet To go home together At first They stomped along the path Which edged the hundred acre wood They didn't say much to each other But when they came to the stream And had helped each other across the stepping stones And were able to walk side by side again Over the heather They began to talk in a friendly way About this and that And Piglet said If you see what I mean Pooh And Pooh said It's just what I think myself Piglet And Piglet said But on the other hand Pooh we must remember And Pooh said Quite true Piglet Although I had forgotten it for the moment And then Just as they came to the six pine trees Pooh looked around To see that nobody else was listening And said in a very solemn voice Piglet I have decided something What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided To catch a heffalump Pooh nodded his head Several times as he said this And waited for Piglet to say How?

Or Pooh you couldn't Or something helpful of that sort But Piglet said nothing The fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first I shall do it said Pooh After waiting a little longer By means of a trap And it must be a cunning trap So you will have to help me Piglet Pooh said Piglet Feeling quite happy again now I will And then he said How shall we do it?

And Pooh said That's just it How?

And then they sat down together to think about it Pooh's first idea Was that they should dig a very deep pit And then the heffalump would come along And fall into the pit Why?

Said Piglet Why what?

Said Pooh Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw And said That a heffalump might be walking along Humming a little song And looking up at the sky Wondering if it would rain And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that this was a very good trap But supposing it were raining already Pooh rubbed his nose again And said that he hadn't thought of that And then he brightened up and said that If it were raining already The heffalump would be looking up at the sky Wondering if it would clear up And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that now this point had been explained He thought it was a cunning trap Pooh was very proud when he heard this And felt that the heffalump was as good as caught already But there was just one other thing Which he hadn't thought about And it was this Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place would be Somewhere where a heffalump was Just before he fell into it Only about a foot further on But then he would see us digging it Said Pooh Not if he was looking at the sky He would suspect,

Said Pooh If he happened to look down He thought for a long time And then added sadly It isn't as easy as I thought I suppose that's why heffalumps hardly ever get caught That must be it,

Said Piglet They sighed and caught up And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves They sat down again And all the time Pooh was saying to himself If only I could think of something For he felt sure that a very clever brain Could catch a heffalump If only he knew the right way to go about it Suppose,

He said to Piglet You wanted to catch me How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet I should do it like this I should make a trap And I should put a jar of honey in the trap And you would smell it And you would go after it And.

.

.

And I would go in after it Said Pooh excitedly Only very carefully So as not to hurt myself And I'd get to the jar of honey And I should lick round the edges first of all Pretending that there wasn't any more You know And then I should walk away And think about it a little And then I should come back And start licking in the middle of the jar And then.

.

.

Never mind about that There you would be And there I should catch you Now the first thing to think of is What do heffalumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say,

Wake up Pooh Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream Woke up with a start And said that honey was a much more trappy thing Than acorns Piglet didn't think so And they were just going to argue about it When Piglet remembered that If they put acorns in the trap He would have to find the acorns But if they put honey Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey So he said Alright,

Honey then Just as Pooh remembered it too And was going to say Alright,

Acorns Honey,

Said Piglet to himself In a thoughtful way As if it were now settled I'll dig the pit While you go and get the honey Very well,

Said Pooh As he stumped off As soon as he got home He went to the larder And he stood on a chair And took down a very large jar of honey From the top of the shelf It had honey written on it But just to make sure He took off the paper cover And looked at it And it looked just like honey But you never can tell,

Said Pooh I remember my uncle saying once That he had seen cheese just this colour So he put his tongue in And took a large lick Yes,

He said It is No doubt about that And honey,

I should say Right down to the bottom of the jar Unless,

Of course,

He said Somebody put cheese at the bottom Just for a joke Perhaps I had better go a little further Just in case In case heffalumps don't like cheese Same as me And he gave a deep sigh I was right It is honey Right the way down Having made certain of this He took the jar back to Piglet And Piglet looked up from the bottom Of his very deep pit And said Got it?

And Pooh said Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar And he threw it down to Piglet And Piglet said No,

It isn't Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said Yes So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit And climbed out And they went off home together Well,

Good night,

Pooh Said Piglet When they had got to Pooh's house And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning By the pine trees And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap Six o'clock,

Piglet And have you got any strength?

No Why do you want strength?

To lead them home with Oh I think heffalumps come if you whistle Some do Some don't He never can tell with heffalumps Well,

Good night Good night And off Piglet trotted to his house While Pooh made his preparations for bed Some hours later Just as the night was beginning to steer away Pooh woke up suddenly With a sinking feeling He had had that sinking feeling before And he knew what it meant He was hungry So he went to the larder And he stood on a chair And reached up to the top shelf And found Nothing That's funny,

He thought I know I had a jar of honey there A full jar Full of honey Right up to the top And it had honey written on it So that I should know it was honey That's very funny Then he began to wander up and down Wondering where it was And murmuring a murmur to himself Like this It's very,

Very funny Because I know I had some honey Because it had a label on saying honey Like a luptuous full up pot too And I don't know where it's got to No,

I don't know where it's gone Well,

It's funny He had murmured this to himself three times In a singing sort of way When suddenly he remembered He had put it into the cunning trap To catch the heffalump Oh bother,

Said Pooh It all comes from trying to be kind to heffalumps And he got back into bed But he couldn't sleep The more he tried to sleep The more he couldn't He tried counting sheep Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep And as that was no good He tried counting heffalumps And that was worse Because every heffalump that he counted Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey And eating it all For some minutes he lay there miserably But when the 587th heffalump Was licking its jaws And saying to itself Very good honey this I don't know when I've tasted better Pooh could bear it no longer He jumped out of bed He ran out of the house And he ran straight to the six pine trees The sun was still in bed But there was a lightness in the sky Over the hundred acre wood Which seemed to show that it was waking up And would soon be kicking off the clothes In the half light The pine trees looked cold and lonely And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom Was something mysterious A shape And no more But as he got nearer to it His nose told him That it was indeed honey And his tongue came out And began to polish up his mouth Ready for it Bother said Pooh As he got his nose inside the jar A heffalump has been eating it And then he thought a little and said Oh no I did I forgot Indeed he had eaten most of it But there was a little left At the very bottom of the jar And he pushed his head right in And began to lick By and by Piglet woke up As soon as he woke He said to himself Oh And then he said Yes And then still more bravely Quite so But he didn't feel very brave For the word which was really jiggeting About in his brain Was heffalumps What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs Would it make any difference If the pig had a grandfather Called Trespasser's William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions And he was going to see his first heffalump In about an hour from now Of course Pooh would be with him And it was much more friendly with two But suppose Heffalumps were very fierce With pigs and bears Wouldn't it be better To pretend that he had a headache?

And couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning But then suppose That it was a very fine day And there was no heffalump in the trap Here he would be In bed all morning Simply wasting his time for nothing What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea He would go up very quietly To the six pine trees now Peep Very cautiously into the trap And see if there was a heffalump there And if there was He would go back to bed And if there wasn't He wouldn't So off he went At first He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap And then he thought that there would And as he got nearer He was sure that there would Because he could hear it heffalumping about Like anything Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear Said Piglet to himself And now he wanted to run away But somehow Having got so near He felt that he must just see What a heffalump was like So he crept to the side of the trap And looked in And all the time Winnie the Pooh Had been trying to get the honey jar Off his head The more he shook it The more tightly it stuck Father,

He said Inside the jar And Oh help And mostly Ow And he tried bumping it against things But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against And it didn't help him And he tried to climb out of the trap But he could see nothing but jar And not much of that He couldn't find his way So at last he lifted up his head Jar and all And made a loud roaring noise Of sadness and despair And it was at that moment That Piglet looked down Help,

Help Cried Piglet A heffalump A horrible heffalump And he scarpered off as hard as he could Still crying out Help,

Help A horrible heffalump A horrible hoffalump Hoff,

Hoff A hellable horolump Ho,

Ho A hoffable hellerump And he didn't stop crying and scampering Until he got to Christopher Robin's house Whatever is the matter,

Piglet?

Said Christopher Robin He was just getting up Heff,

Heff Said Piglet Breathing so hard that he could hardly speak A heff A heff A heffalump Where?

Up there,

Said Piglet Waving his paw Well,

What did it look like?

Like,

Like It had the biggest head you ever saw,

Christopher Robin A great enormous thing Like,

Like nothing A huge big,

Well,

Like a I don't know Like an enormous big nothing Like a jar Well,

Said Christopher Robin Putting on his shoes I shall go and look at it Come on Piglet wasn't afraid If he had Christopher Robin with him So off they went I can hear it Can you?

Said Piglet anxiously As they got near I can hear something Said Christopher Robin It was Pooh Bumping his head against a tree root he had found There!

Said Piglet Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh He laughed And he laughed And he laughed And while he was still laughing Crash went the heffalump's head Against the tree root Smash went the jar And out came Pooh's head again Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been And he was so ashamed of himself That he ran straight off home And went to bed with a headache But Christopher Robin and Pooh Followed Piglet home And made him a special breakfast And told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all And that they both love him very much Once upon a time A very long time ago now About last Friday Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest All by himself Under the name of Sanders One day When he was out walking He came to an open place In the middle of the forest And in the middle of this place Was a large oak tree And from the top of the tree There came a loud buzzing noise Winnie the Pooh sat down At the foot of the tree Put his head between his paws And began to think First of all,

He said to himself That buzzing noise means something You don't get a buzzing noise like that Just buzzing and buzzing Without it's meaning something If there's a buzzing noise Somebody's making a buzzing noise And the only reason for making a buzzing noise That I know of Is because you're a bee Then he thought another long time And said And the only reason for being a bee That I know of Is making honey And then he got up and said And the only reason for making honey Is so that I can eat it So he began to climb the tree He climbed and he climbed And he climbed And as he climbed He sang a little song to himself It went like this Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?

Buzz,

Buzz,

Buzz I wonder why he does Then he climbed a little further And a little further And then just a little further By that time He had thought of another song It's a very funny thought If bears were bees They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees And that being so If the bees were bears We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs He was getting rather tired by this time So that is why he sang a complaining song He was nearly there now And if he just stood on that branch Crack Oh help,

Said Poo As he dropped ten feet to the branch below him If only I hadn't,

He said As he bounced twenty feet on the next branch You see,

What I meant to do,

He explained As he turned head over heels And crashed onto another branch Thirty feet below What I meant to do Of course,

It was rather He admitted As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches It all comes,

I suppose He decided As he said goodbye to the last branch Spun round three times And flew gracefully into a gorse bush It all comes of liking honey so much Oh help He crawled out of the gorse bush Brushed the prickles from his nose And began to think again And the first person he thought of Was Christopher Robin So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin Who lived behind a green door In another part of the forest Good morning,

Christopher Robin,

He said Good morning,

Winnie the Pooh,

Said you I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you A balloon?

Yes,

I just said to myself coming along I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him What do you want a balloon for,

You said Winnie the Pooh looked round to see that nobody was listening Put his paw to his mouth And said in a deep whisper Honey But you don't get honey with balloons I do,

Said Pooh Well,

It just happened that you had been to a party the day before At the house of your friend Piglet And you had balloons at the party You'd had big green balloons And one of Rabbit's relations had a big blue one And had left it behind And so you had brought the green one And the blue one home with you Which one would you like,

You asked Pooh He put his head between his paws And thought very carefully It's like this,

He said When you go after honey with a balloon The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming Now,

If you have a green balloon They might think you are only part of the tree And not notice you And if you have a blue balloon They might think you're only part of the sky And not notice you And the question is Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon,

You asked They might Or they might not,

Said Winnie the Pooh You never can tell with bees He thought for a moment and said I shall try to look like a small black cloud That will deceive them Then you had better have the blue balloon,

He said And so it was decided You both went out with the blue balloon And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of And rolled and rolled until he was black all over And then,

When the balloon was blown up as big as big And you and Pooh were both holding onto the string You let go suddenly And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky And stayed there,

Level with the top of the tree And about 20 feet away from it Hooray,

You shouted Isn't that fine,

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding onto a balloon,

You said Not,

Said Pooh anxiously Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much Oh well,

Perhaps from up here it all looks different And as I say,

You never can tell with bees There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree So he stayed He could see the honey He could smell the honey But he couldn't quite reach the honey After a little while,

He called down to you Christopher Robin,

He said in a loud whisper Hello,

I think the bees suspect something What sort of thing?

I don't know But something tells me that they're suspicious Perhaps they think you're after the honey It may be that,

You never can tell with bees There was another little silence And then he called down again Christopher Robin Yes Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so I wish you would bring it out here And walk up and down with it And look up at me every now and then And say It looks like rain I think if you did that It would help the deception Which we are practicing on these bees You laughed to yourself Silly old bear But you didn't say it out loud Because you were so fond of him And you went home for your umbrella Oh there you are Called down with the other poo As soon as you got back to the tree I was beginning to get anxious I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said Yes But wait a moment We must be practical The important bee to deceive Is the queen bee Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No A pity Well now If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying It looks like rain I shall do what I can By singing a little cloud song Such as a cloud might sing So while you are walking up and down And wondering if it would rain Winnie the Pooh sang this song How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue Every little cloud Always sings aloud How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue To make him very proud To be a little cloud The bees were still buzzing As suspiciously as ever Some of them indeed left their nests And flew all around the cloud As it began the second verse of this song And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud For a moment And then got up again Christopher Ow Robin Called the cloud Yes I have just been thinking And have come to a very important decision These are the wrong sort of bees Are they?

Quite the wrong sort So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey Would they?

Yes So I think I shall come down now How?

You asked Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this If he let go of the string He would fall Bump And he didn't like the idea of that So he thought for a long time And then he said Christopher Robin You must shoot the balloon down With your pea shooter Have you got it?

Of course I have you said But if I do that It will spoil your balloon You said But if you don't said Pooh I shall have to let go And that would spoil me When he put it like this You saw how it was And you aimed very carefully With your pea shooter At the balloon And fired Ow said Pooh Did I miss?

You asked You didn't exactly miss Said Pooh But you missed the balloon I'm so sorry You said As you fired again With a big puff of breath And this time You hit the balloon And the air came slowly out And Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground But his arms were so stiff From holding onto the string or the balloon All that time They stayed straight up in the air For more than a week And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose He had to blow it off And I think But I'm not sure That that is why he was always called Pooh Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin That's the end of that one There are others About Pooh and me And Piglet And Rabbit And all of you Don't you remember?

I do remember And then when I'm trying to remember I forget And that's why he likes having it told to him again Because then it's a real story And not just a remembering Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh Yawned And yawns are catching So Winnie the Pooh yawned too Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin Yes,

Said Pooh Very much so The end Edward Bear Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh Or Pooh for short Was walking through the forest one day Humming proudly to himself He had made up a little hum that very morning As he was doing his stoutness exercises In front of the glass Tra-la-la Tra-la-la As he stretched up as high as he could go Tra-la-la Oh,

Help!

As he tried to reach his toes After breakfast He had said it over and over to himself Until he had learned it off by heart And now he was humming it right through Properly It went like this Tra-la-la Tra-la-la Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum He was humming this hum to himself And walking gaily along Wondering what everybody else was doing And what it felt like being someone else When suddenly He came to a sandy bank And in the bank Was a large hole Aha!

Said Pooh Rum-tiddle-um-tum If I know anything about anything That hole means rabbit He said And rabbit means company He said And company means food And listening to me humming And such like Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um So he bent down Put his head into the hole And called out Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole And then silence What I said was Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh Very loudly Nope!

Said a voice And then added You needn't shout so loud I heard you quite well the first time Bother Said Pooh Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole And thought for a little He thought to himself There must be somebody there Because Somebody must have said nobody So he put his head back in the hole And said Hello rabbit Is that you?

No!

Said rabbit In a different sort of voice this time But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so Said rabbit Oh!

Said Pooh He took his head out of the hole And had another think And then he put it back And said Well could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear Who is a great friend of his But this is me!

Said bear Very much surprised What sort of me?

Pooh Bear!

Are you sure?

Said rabbit Still more surprised Quite quite sure Said Pooh Bear Oh well then Come in So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed And pushed his way through the hole And at last got in You were quite right Said rabbit Looking at him all over It is you Glad to see you Who did you think it was?

Well I wasn't sure You know how it is in the forest One can't have anybody coming to one's house One has to be careful What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something At eleven o'clock in the morning And he was very glad to see rabbit Getting out the plates and mugs And when rabbit said Honey or condensed milk with your bread He was so excited That he said Both And then So as not to seem greedy He added But don't bother about the bread Please And for a long time after that He said nothing Until at last Humming to himself In a rather sticky voice He caught up Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw And said that he must be going on Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely Well said Pooh I could stay a little longer If you And he tried very hard to look in the direction Of the larder As a matter of fact Said rabbit I was going at myself Directly Oh well then I'll be going on Goodbye Well goodbye If you're sure you won't have any more Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly Rabbit took the covers off the dishes And said No There wasn't I thought not Said Pooh Nodding to himself Well Goodbye I must be going on So he started to climb out of the hole He pulled with his front paws And pushed with his back paws And in a little while His nose was out and he opened again And then his ears And then his front paws And then his shoulders And then Oh help Said Pooh I'd better go back Oh bother Said Pooh I shall have to go on I can't do either Oh help Oh bother Now By this time Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too And finding the front door full He went out by the back door And came round to Pooh And looked at him Hello Are you stuck?

He asked No Said Pooh carelessly Just resting I think And humming to myself Here Give us a paw Pooh Bear stretched out a paw And Rabbit pulled And pulled And pulled Ow Cried Pooh Bear You're hurting The fact is Said Rabbit You're stuck It all comes Said Pooh carelessly Of not having front doors big enough It all comes Said Rabbit sternly Of eating too much I thought at the time Said Rabbit Only I didn't like to say anything That one of us was eating too much And I knew it wasn't me He said Well I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin Christopher Robin Lived at the other end of the forest And when he came back with Rabbit And saw the front half of Pooh He said Silly old Bear In such a loving voice That everybody felt quite hopeful again I was just beginning to think Said Bear Sniffing slightly That Rabbit might never be able To use his front door again And I should hate that He said So should I Said Rabbit Use his front door again Said Christopher Robin Of course He'll use his front door again Good Said Rabbit If we can't pull you out Pooh We might push you back Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully And pointed out that When once Pooh was pushed back He was back And of course Nobody was more glad to see Pooh Than he was Still it was Some lived in trees And some undergrowth And You mean I'd never get out Said Pooh I mean Said Rabbit Having got so far It seems a pity to waste it Christopher Robin nodded Then there's only one thing to be done He said We shall have to wait For you to get thin again How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously About a week I should think But I can't stay here for a week You can stay here all right Silly old bear It's getting you out which is difficult We'll read to you Said Rabbit cheerfully And I hope it won't snow He added And I say old fellow You're taking up a good deal of room In my house Do you mind if I use your butt legs As a towel horse?

Because I mean They are doing nothing And it would be very convenient Just to hang the towels on them A week Said Pooh gloomily What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals Said Christopher Robin Because of getting thin quicker But we will read to you Bear began to sigh And then he found he couldn't Because he was so tightly stuck And a tear rolled down his eye As he said Then would you read A sustaining book Such as would help And comfort a wedged bear In great tightness So for a week Christopher Robin Read that sort of book At the north end of Pooh And Rabbit hung his washing On the south end And in between Bear felt himself getting slenderer And slenderer And at the end of the week Christopher Robin said Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin And all the rabbit's friends and relations Took hold of Rabbit And they all pulled together And for a long time Pooh only said Ow!

And whoa!

And then all of a sudden He said Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle And Christopher Robin and Rabbit And all Rabbit's friends and relations Went head over heels backwards And on top of them Came Winnie the Pooh Free!

So with a nod of thanks to his friends He went on with his walk through the forest Humming proudly to himself But Christopher Robin Looked after him lovingly And said to himself Silly old bear One fine winter's day When Piglet was brushing away the snow In front of his house He happened to look up And there was Winnie the Pooh Pooh was walking round and round in a circle Thinking of something else And when Piglet called to him He just went on walking Hello,

Said Piglet What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh Very mysteriously Tracking what,

Said Piglet Coming closer I shall have to wait until I catch up with it Said Winnie the Pooh Now look there He pointed to the ground in front of him What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet Poor Marks He gave a little squeak of excitement Oh Pooh Do you think it's a Woozle?

It may be,

Said Pooh Sometimes it is And sometimes it isn't He never can tell with poor Marks With these few words He went on tracking And Piglet After watching him for a minute or two Ran after him Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop And was bending over the tracks In a puzzled sort of way What's the matter?

Asked Piglet It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear But there seem to be two animals now This,

Whatever it is Has been joined by another Whatever it is And the two of them are now proceeding in company Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet?

In case they turn out to be hostile animals Piglet scratched his ear In a nice sort of way And said they had nothing to do until Friday And would be delighted to come In case it really was a Woozle You mean in case it really is two Woozles?

Said Winnie the Pooh And Piglet said that anyhow He had nothing to do until Friday So off they went together There was a small spinny of larch trees just here And it seemed as if the two Woozles If that is what they were Had been going round this spinny So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh What his grandfather had done to remove stiffness After tracking And other matters of interest And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like And if perhaps this was two grandfathers That they were after now And if so Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it And what Christopher Robin would say And still the tracks went on in front of them Suddenly Winnie the Pooh stopped And pointed excitedly in front of him Look!

What?

Said Piglet With a jump And then to show that he hadn't been frightened He jumped up and down once or twice More in an exercising sort of way The tracks!

Said Pooh A third animal has joined the other two Pooh!

Cried Piglet Do you think it's another Woozle?

No Said Pooh Because it makes different marks Let us continue to follow them So they went on Feeling just a little bit anxious now In case the three animals in front of them Were of hostile intent And Pooh thought how nice it would be If they met Christopher Robin Suddenly But quite accidentally And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much And then All of a sudden Winnie the Pooh stopped again And licked the tip of his nose In a cooling manner For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever In his life before There were now four animals in front of them Do you see it Piglet?

Look at their tracks!

Another Woozle has joined them And so it seemed to be There were the tracks crossing over each other here Getting muddled up with each other there But quite plainly every now and then The tracks of four sets of paws I think Said Piglet When he had licked the tip of his nose too And found that it brought very little comfort I think I've just remembered something That I forgot to do yesterday And I shan't be able to do tomorrow So I suppose I really ought to go back And do it now We'll do it this afternoon And I'll come with you Said Pooh It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon Said Piglet quickly It's a very particular morning thing That I think has to be done in the morning And if possible Between the hours of What would you say the time was?

About twelve Said Winnie the Pooh Looking at the sun Between,

As I was saying The hours of twelve And twelve five So really Dear old Pooh If you'll excuse me What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky And then He heard the whistle again And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree And then he saw a friend of his It's Christopher Robin He said Ah,

Then you'll be all right Said Piglet You'll be quite safe with him Goodbye And he trotted off home as quickly as he could Very glad to be out of all danger again Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree Silly old bear,

He said What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself And then Piglet ran after you And you went round again together And then you were just going round a fourth time Wait a moment Said Winnie the Pooh Holding up his paw He sat down and thought In the most thoughtful way he could think Then he fitted his paw Into one of the tracks And then he scratched his nose twice And stood up Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh I see it now I've been foolish and deluded,

He said And I am a bear of no brain at all You're the best bear in all the world Said Christopher Robin,

Soothingly Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully And then he brightened up suddenly Anyhow,

He said It's nearly luncheon time So he went home for it The old grey donkey,

Eeyore Stood by himself In the thistly corner of the forest His front feet well apart His head on one side And thought about things Sometimes he thought sadly to himself Why?

And sometimes he thought Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little In order to say How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him And how are you?

Said Winnie the Pooh Eeyore shook his head from side to side Not very well,

He said I don't seem to have felt at all well for a long time Oh dear,

Said Pooh I'm sorry about that Let's have a look at you So Eeyore stood there Gazing sadly at the ground And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore It isn't there Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there Or it isn't there You can't make a mistake about it And yours isn't there Then what is?

Nothing Let's have a look Said Eeyore As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been A little while ago And then Finding that he couldn't catch it up He turned round the other way Until he came back to where he was at first And then he put his head down And looked between his front legs And at last he said With a long sad sigh I believe you're right Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh That accounts for a good deal Said Eeyore gloomily It explains everything No wonder You must have left it somewhere Said Winnie the Pooh Somebody must have taken it Said Eeyore How like them He added After a long silence Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it But didn't quite know what So he decided to do something helpful Instead Eeyore He said solemnly I,

Winnie the Pooh Will find your tail Thank you,

Pooh Answered Eeyore You're a real friend He said Not like some So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail It was a fine spring morning in the forest As he started out Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky Skipping from time to time In front of the sun As if they had come to put it out And then sliding away suddenly So that the next might have his turn Through them And between them The sun shone bravely And a copse Which had worn its furs all year round Seemed old and dowdy now Beside the new green lace Which the beaches had put on prettily Through the copse and spinny Marched Bear Down open slopes of gores and heather Over rocky beds of streams Up steep banks of sandstone Into the heather again And so at last Tired and hungry To the hundred-acre wood For it was the hundred-acre wood That Owl lived And if anyone knows anything about anything Said Bear to himself It's Owl who knew something about something He said Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh Which it is He added So there you are Owl lived at the chestnuts An old world residence of great charm Which was grander than anybody else's Or seemed so to Bear Because it had both a knocker and bell pull Underneath the knocker There was a notice which said Please ring if an answer is required Underneath the bell pull There was a notice which said Please knock if an answer is not required These notices had been written by Christopher Robin Who was the only one in the forest who could spell For Owl Wise though he was in many ways Able to read and write and spell his own name Whoa Yet somehow went all to pieces Over delicate words like measles and buttered toast Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully First from left to right And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it From right to left Then,

To make quite sure He knocked and pulled the knocker And he pulled and knocked the bell rope And he called out in a very loud voice Owl,

I require an answer It's Bear speaking And the door opened And Owl looked out Hello Pooh,

He said How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine Has lost his tail And he's moping about it So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl The customary procedure in such cases Is as follows What does crusty money proceed cake mean?

Said Pooh For I am a bear of very little brain And long words bother me It means things to do As long as it means that I don't mind,

Said Pooh humbly The thing to do is as follows First,

Issue a reward Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh Holding up his paw What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't You can't sneeze without knowing it Well,

You can't know it Without something having been sneezed What I said was First,

Issue a reward You're doing it again,

Said Pooh sadly A reward,

Said Owl very loudly We write a notice to say That we'll give a large something To anybody who finds Eeyore's tail I see,

I see,

Said Pooh nodding his head Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily I generally have a small something about now About this time in the morning And he looked wistfully at the cupboard In the corner of Owl's parlour Just a mouthful of condensed milk or whatnot With perhaps a lick of honey Well then,

Said Owl We will write out this notice And we put it up all over the forest A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself Or,

Or not,

As the case may be He gave a deep sigh And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying But Owl went on and on Using longer and longer words Until at last he came back to where he had started And he explained that the person to write out this notice Was Christopher Robin It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn With his eyes shut to all that Owl was saying And having said yes,

Yes the last time He said,

No,

Not at all Without really knowing what Owl was talking about Did you see them,

Said Owl,

A little surprised Come and look at them now So they went outside Pooh looked at the knocker And the notice below it And he looked up at the bell rope And the notice below it And the more he looked at the bell rope The more he felt that he'd seen something like it somewhere else Some time before Handsome bell rope,

Isn't it,

Said Owl Pooh nodded It reminds me of something,

He said But I can't think what Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest It was hanging over a bush And I thought at first somebody lived there So I rang it And nothing happened And then I rang it again Very loudly And it came off in my hand And as nobody seemed to want it I took it home and Owl,

Said Pooh solemnly You made a mistake Somebody did want it Who?

Eeyore,

My friend Eeyore He was fond of it Fond of it?

Attached to it,

Said Winnie the Pooh sadly So with these words he unhooked it And carried it back to Eeyore And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on In its right place again Eeyore frisked about in the forest Waving his tail so happily That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny And had to hurry home for a little snack Of something to sustain him And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards He sang to himself proudly Pooh found the tail I said Pooh At a quarter to two Only it was a quarter to eleven really I found the tail One day when Christopher Robin And Winnie the Pooh and Piglet Were all talking together Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating And said carelessly I saw a heffalump today Piglet What was it doing?

Asked Piglet Just lumping around,

Said Christopher Robin I don't think it saw me I saw one once,

Said Piglet At least,

I think I did Only perhaps it wasn't So did I,

Said Pooh Wondering what a heffalump was like You don't often see them Said Christopher Robin carelessly Not now,

Said Piglet Not at this time of year,

Said Pooh Then they all talked about something else Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet To go home together At first they stomped along the path Which edged the hundred acre wood They didn't say much to each other But when they came to the stream And had helped each other across the stepping stones And were able to walk side by side again Over the heather They began to talk in a friendly way About this and that And Piglet said If you see what I mean Pooh And Pooh said It's just what I think myself Piglet And Piglet said But on the other hand Pooh we must remember And Pooh said Quite true Piglet Although I had forgotten it for the moment And then just as they came to the six pine trees Pooh looked around To see that nobody else was listening And said in a very solemn voice Piglet I have decided something What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided To catch a heather lump Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this And waited for Piglet to say How?

Or Pooh you couldn't Or something helpful of that sort But Piglet said nothing The fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first I shall do it said Pooh After waiting a little longer By means of a trap And it must be a cunning trap So you will have to help me Piglet Pooh said Piglet Feeling quite happy again now I will And then he said How shall we do it?

And Pooh said That's just it How?

And then they sat down together to think about it Pooh's first idea Was that they should dig a very deep pit And then the heather lump would come along And fall into the pit Why?

Said Piglet Why what?

Said Pooh Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw And said That a heather lump might be walking along Humming a little song And looking up at the sky Wondering if it would rain And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that this was a very good trap But supposing it were raining already Pooh rubbed his nose again And said that he hadn't thought of that And then he brightened up and said that If it were raining already The heather lump would be looking up at the sky Wondering if it would clear up And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that now this point had been explained He thought it was a cunning trap Pooh was very proud when he heard this And felt that the heather lump was as good as caught already But there was just one other thing Which he hadn't thought about And it was this Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place would be Somewhere where a heather lump was Just before he fell into it Only about a foot further on But then he would see us digging it Said Pooh Not if he was looking at the sky He would suspect Said Pooh If he happened to look down He thought for a long time And then added sadly It isn't as easy as I thought I suppose that's why heather lumps hardly ever get caught That must be it said Piglet They sighed and got up And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves They sat down again And all the time Pooh was saying to himself If only I could think of something For he felt sure that a very clever brain Could catch a heather lump If only he knew the right way to go about it Suppose he said to Piglet You wanted to catch me How would you do it?

Well said Piglet I should do it like this I should make a trap And I should put a jar of honey in the trap And you would smell it And you would go after it And And I would go in after it Said Pooh excitedly Only very carefully So as not to hurt myself And I'd get to the jar of honey And I should lick round the edges first of all Pretending that there wasn't any more You know And then I should walk away And think about it a little And then I should come back And start licking in the middle of the jar And then Never mind about that There you would be And there I should catch you Now the first thing to think of is What do heather lumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say Wake up Pooh Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream Woke up with a start And said that honey was a much more trappy thing Than acorns Piglet didn't think so And they were just going to argue about it When Piglet remembered that If they put acorns in the trap He would have to find the acorns But if they put honey Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey So he said All right,

Honey then Just as Pooh remembered it too And was going to say All right,

Acorns Honey,

Said Piglet to himself In a thoughtful way As if it were now settled I'll dig the pit While you go and get the honey Very well,

Said Pooh As he stumped off As soon as he got home He went to the larder And he stood on a chair And took down a very large jar of honey From the top of the shelf It had honey written on it But just to make sure He took off the paper cover And looked at it And it looked just like honey But you never can tell Said Pooh I remember my uncle saying once That he had seen cheese Just this color So he put his tongue in And took a large lick Yes,

He said It is No doubt about that And honey,

I should say Right down to the bottom of the jar Unless,

Of course,

He said Somebody put cheese at the bottom Just for a joke Perhaps I had better go a little further Just in case In case heffalumps don't like cheese Same as me And he gave a deep sigh I was right It is honey Right the way down Having made certain of this He took the jar back to Piglet And Piglet looked up from the bottom Of his very deep pit And said Got it?

And Pooh said Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar And he threw it down to Piglet And Piglet said No,

It isn't Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said Yes So Piglet put the jar At the bottom of the pit And climbed out And they went off home together Well,

Goodnight Pooh Said Piglet When they had got to Pooh's house And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning By the pine trees And see how many heffalumps We've got in our trap Six o'clock,

Piglet And have you got any string?

No?

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with Oh I think heffalumps come If you whistle Some do Some don't You never can tell with heffalumps Well,

Goodnight Goodnight And off Piglet trotted to his house While Pooh made his preparations for bed Some hours later Just as the night was beginning to steal away Pooh woke up suddenly With a sinking feeling He had had that sinking feeling before And he knew what it meant He was hungry So he went to the larder And he stood on a chair And reached up to the top shelf And found Nothing That's funny He thought I know I had a jar of honey there A full jar Full of honey Right up to the top And it had honey written on it So that I should know it was honey That's very funny Then he began to wander up and down Wondering where it was And murmuring a murmur to himself Like this It's very very funny Cause I know I had some honey Cause it had a label on Saying honey Like a luptuous full up pot too And I don't know where it's got to No I don't know where it's gone Well it's funny He had murmured this to himself three times In a singing sort of way When suddenly he remembered He had put it into the cunning trap To catch the heffalump Oh bother Said Pooh It all comes from trying to be kind To heffalumps And he got back into bed But he couldn't sleep The more he tried to sleep The more he couldn't He tried counting sheep Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep And as that was no good He tried counting heffalumps And that was worse Because every heffalump that he counted Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey And eating it all For some minutes he lay there miserably But when the 587th heffalump Was licking its jaws And saying to itself Very good honey this I don't know when I've tasted better Pooh could bear it no longer He jumped out of bed He ran out of the house And he ran straight to the six pine trees The sun was still in bed But there was a lightness in the sky Over the hundred acre wood Which seemed to show that it was waking up And would soon be kicking off the clothes In the half light The pine trees looked cold and lonely And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom Was something mysterious A shape And no more But as he got nearer to it His nose told him That it was indeed honey And his tongue came out And began to polish up his mouth Ready for it Bother said Pooh As he got his nose inside the jar A heffalump has been eating it And then he thought a little and said Oh no I did I forgot Indeed he had eaten most of it But there was a little left At the very bottom of the jar And he pushed his head right in And began to lick By and by Piglet woke up As soon as he woke He said to himself Oh And then he said Yes And then Still more bravely Quite so But he didn't feel very brave For the word which was really jiggeting About in his brain Was heffalumps What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs Would it make any difference If the pig had a grandfather Called Trespassers William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions And he was going to see his first heffalump In about an hour from now Of course Pooh would be with him And it was much more friendly with two But suppose Heffalumps were very fierce With pigs and bears Wouldn't it be better To pretend that he had a headache And couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose That it was a very fine day And there was no heffalump in the trap Here he would be In bed all morning Simply wasting his time for nothing What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea He would go up very quietly To the six pine trees now Peep very cautiously into the trap And see if there was a heffalump there And if there was He would go back to bed And if there wasn't He wouldn't So off he went At first He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap And then he thought that there would And as he got nearer He was sure that there would Because he could hear it heffalumping about Like anything Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear Said Piglet to himself And now he wanted to run away But somehow Having got so near He felt that he must just see What a heffalump was like So he crept to the side of the trap And looked in And all the time Winnie the Pooh Had been trying to get the honey jar Off his head The more he shook it The more tightly it stuck Father,

He said Inside the jar And Oh help And mostly Ow And he tried bumping it against things But He couldn't see what he was bumping it against And it didn't help him And he tried to climb out of the trap But he could see nothing but jar And not much of that He couldn't find his way So at last He lifted up his head Jar and all And made a loud roaring noise Of sadness and despair And it was at that moment That Piglet looked down Help Help Cried Piglet A heffalump A horrible heffalump And he scarpered off as hard as he could Still crying out Help Help A horrible heffalump A horrible hoffalump Huff Huff A hellable horrorlump Hull Hull A huffable hellerump And he didn't stop crying and scampering Until he got to Christopher Robin's house Whatever is the matter Piglet?

Said Christopher Robin He was just getting up Heff Heff Said Piglet Breathing so hard That he could hardly speak A heff A heff A heffalump Where Up there Said Piglet Waving his paw Well what did it look like?

Like Like It had the biggest head you ever saw Christopher Robin A great enormous thing Like Like nothing A huge big well Like a I don't know Like an enormous big nothing Like a jar Well said Christopher Robin Putting on his shoes I shall go and look at it Come on Piglet wasn't afraid If he had Christopher Robin with him So off they went I can hear it Can you?

Said Piglet anxiously As they got near I can hear something Said Christopher Robin It was Pooh Bumping his head against a tree root he had found There Said Piglet Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh He laughed And he laughed And he laughed And while he was still laughing Crash went the heffalump's head Against the tree root Smash went the jar And out came Pooh's head again Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been And he was so ashamed of himself That he ran straight off home And went to bed with a headache But Christopher Robin and Pooh Followed Piglet home And made him a special breakfast And told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all And that they both love him very much Once upon a time A very long time ago now About last Friday When either Pooh lived in a forest Or by himself Under the name of Sanders One day when he was out walking He came to an open place In the middle of the forest And in the middle of this place Was a large oak tree And from the top of the tree There came a loud buzzing noise Winnie the Pooh sat down At the foot of the tree Put his head between his paws And began to think First of all he said to himself That buzzing noise means something You don't get a buzzing noise like that Just buzzing and buzzing Without it's meaning something If there's a buzzing noise Somebody's making a buzzing noise And the only reason for making a buzzing noise That I know of Is because you're a bee Then he thought another long time And said And the only reason for being a bee That I know of Is making honey And then he got up and said And the only reason for making honey Is so that I can eat it So he began to climb the tree He climbed and he climbed And he climbed And as he climbed He sang a little song to himself It went like this Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey Buzz buzz buzz I wonder why he does Then he climbed a little further And a little further And then just a little further By that time He had thought of another song It's a very funny thought If bears were bees They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees And that being so If the bees were bears We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs He was getting rather tired by this time So that is why he sang a complaining song He was nearly there now And if he just stood on that branch Crack Oh help Said Poo As he dropped 10 feet to the branch below him If only I hadn't He said As he bounced 20 feet on the next branch You see What I meant to do He explained As he turned head over heels And crashed onto another branch 30 feet below What I meant to do Of course It was rather He admitted As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches It all comes I suppose He decided As he said goodbye to the last branch Spun round three times And flew gracefully into a gorse bush It all comes of liking honey so much Oh help He crawled out of the gorse bush Brushed the prickles from his nose And began to think again And the first person he thought of Was Christopher Robin So Winnie the Pooh Went round to his friend Christopher Robin Who lived behind a green door In another part of the forest Good morning Christopher Robin He said Good morning Winnie the Pooh Said you I wonder if you've got such a thing As a balloon about you A balloon?

Yes I just said to myself Come on Winnie I wonder if Christopher Robin Has such a thing As a balloon about him What do you want a balloon for?

You said Winnie the Pooh looked round To see that nobody was listening Put his paw to his mouth And said in a deep whisper Honey But you don't get honey with balloons I do said Pooh Well It just happened That you had been to a party the day before At the house of your friend Piglet And you had balloons at the party You'd had big green balloons And one of Rabbit's relations Had a big blue one And had left it behind And so you had brought the green one And the blue one home with you Which one would you like?

You asked Pooh He put his head between his paws And thought Very carefully And said It's like this He said When you go after honey with a balloon The great thing Is not to let the bees know you're coming Now If you have a green balloon They might think you are only part of the tree And not notice you And if you have a blue balloon They might think you're only part of the sky And not notice you And the question is Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon?

You asked They might Or they might not Said Winnie the Pooh You never can tell with bees He thought for a moment And said I shall try to look like a small black cloud That will deceive them Then you had better have the blue balloon You said And so it was decided You both went out with the blue balloon And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of And rolled and rolled Until he was black all over And then When the balloon was blown up As big as big And you and Pooh were both holding on to the string You let go suddenly And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky And stayed there Level with the top of the tree And about 20 feet away from it Hooray!

You shouted Isn't that fine?

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding on to a balloon You said Not Said Pooh anxiously Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much Oh well Perhaps from up here it all looks different And as I say You never can tell with bees There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree So he stayed He could see the honey He could smell the honey But he couldn't quite reach the honey After a little while He called down to you Christopher Robin He said in a loud whisper Hello I think the bees suspect something What sort of thing?

I don't know But something tells me That they're suspicious Perhaps they think you're after the honey It may be that You never can tell with bees There was another little silence And then he called down again Christopher Robin Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so I wish you would bring it out here And walk up and down with it And look up at me every now and then And say It looks like rain I think if you did that It would help the deception Which we are practising on these bees You laughed to yourself Silly old bear But you didn't say it out loud Because you were so fond of him And you went home for your umbrella Oh there you are Called down with the other poo As soon as you got back to the tree I was beginning to get anxious I have discovered that the bees Are now definitely suspicious Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said Yes But wait a moment We must be practical The important bee to deceive Is the queen bee Can you see which is the queen bee From down there?

No A pity Well now If you walk up and down With your umbrella saying It looks like rain I shall do what I can By singing a little cloud song Such as a cloud might sing So while you were walking up and down And wondering if it would rain Winnie the Pooh sang this song How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue Every little cloud Always sings aloud How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue To make him very proud To be a little cloud The bees were still buzzing As suspiciously as ever Some of them Indeed left their nests And flew all around the cloud As it began the second verse of this song And one bee sat down On the nose of the cloud For a moment And then got up again Christopher Ow Robin Called the cloud Yes?

I have just been thinking And have come to a very important decision These are the wrong sort of bees Are they?

Quite the wrong sort So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey Would they?

Yes So I think I shall come down now How?

You asked Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this If he let go of the string He would fall Bump And he didn't like the idea of that So he thought for a long time And then he said Christopher Robin You must shoot the balloon down With your pea shooter Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said But if I do that It will spoil your balloon,

You said But if you don't,

Said Pooh I shall have to let go And that would spoil me When he put it like this You saw how it was And you aimed very carefully With your pea shooter At the balloon And fired Ow,

Said Pooh Did I miss?

You asked You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh But you missed the balloon I'm so sorry,

You said As you fired again With a big puff of breath And this time You hit the balloon And the air came slowly out And Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground But his arms were so stiff From holding onto the string of the balloon All that time They stayed straight up in the air For more than a week And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose He had to blow it off And I think,

But I'm not sure That that is why he was always called Pooh Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin That's the end of that one There are others About Pooh and me And Piglet And Rabbit And all of you Don't you remember?

I do remember And then when I'm trying to remember I forget And that's why he likes having it told to him again Because then it's a real story And not just a remembering Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh Yawned And yawns are catching So Winnie the Pooh yawned too Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin Yes,

Said Pooh Very much so The end Edward Bear,

Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh Or Pooh for short Was walking through the forest one day Humming proudly to himself He had made up a little hum that very morning As he was doing his stoutness exercises In front of the glass Tra-la-la Tra-la-la As he stretched up as high as he could go And then he said Tra-la-la Oh,

Help!

As he tried to reach his toes After breakfast He had said it over and over to himself Until he had learnt it off by heart And now he was humming it right through Properly It went like this Tra-la-la Tra-la-la Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum He was humming this hum to himself And walking gaily along Wondering what everybody else was doing And what it felt like being someone else When suddenly He came to a sandy bank And in the bank Was a large hole Ah-ha,

Said Pooh Rum-tiddle-um-tum If I know anything about anything That hole means rabbit,

He said And rabbit means company,

He said And company means food And listening to me humming And such like Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um So he bent down Put his head into the hole And called out Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise From inside the hole And then silence What I said was Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh Very loudly No,

Said a voice And then added You needn't shout so loud I heard you quite well the first time Bother,

Said Pooh Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole And thought for a little He thought to himself There must be somebody there Because Somebody must have said nobody So he put his head back in the hole And said Hello,

Rabbit Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit In a different sort of voice this time But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit Oh,

Said Pooh He took his head out of the hole And had another think And then he put it back And said Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear Who is a great friend of his But this is me,

Said Bear Very much surprised What sort of me?

Pooh Bear Are you sure,

Said rabbit Still more surprised Quite,

Quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear Oh,

Well then Come in So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed And pushed his way through the hole And at last got in You were quite right,

Said rabbit Looking at him all over It is you Glad to see you Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure You know how it is in the forest One can't have anybody coming to one's house One has to be careful What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something At eleven o'clock in the morning And he was very glad to see rabbit Getting out the plates and mugs And when rabbit said Honey or condensed milk with your bread He was so excited that he said Both!

And then So as not to seem greedy He added But don't bother about the bread,

Please And for a long time after that He said nothing Until at last,

Humming to himself In a rather sticky voice He caught up Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw And said that he must be going on Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely Well,

Said Pooh I could stay a little longer If you And he tried very hard to look in the direction Of the larder As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit I was going up myself Directly Oh well then I'll be going on Goodbye Well,

Goodbye If you're sure you won't have any more Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly Rabbit took the covers off the dishes And said No,

There wasn't I thought not,

Said Pooh Nodding to himself Well,

Goodbye I must be going on So he started to climb out of the hole He pulled with his front paws And pushed with his back paws And in a little while His nose was out and he opened again And then his ears And then his front paws And then his shoulders And then Oh help,

Said Pooh I'd better go back Oh bother,

Said Pooh I shall have to go on I can't do either Oh help Oh bother Now,

By this time Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too And finding the front door full He went out by the back door And came round to Pooh And looked at him Hello Are you stuck?

He asked No,

Said Pooh carelessly Just resting I think And humming to myself Here,

Give us a paw Pooh Bear stretched out a paw And Rabbit pulled And pulled And pulled Ow,

Cried Pooh Bear You're hurting The fact is,

Said Rabbit You're stuck It all comes,

Said Pooh crossly Of not having front doors big enough It all comes,

Said Rabbit sternly Of eating too much I thought at the time,

Said Rabbit Only,

I didn't like to say anything That one of us was eating too much And I knew it wasn't me,

He said Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest And when he came back with Rabbit And saw the front half of Pooh,

He said Silly old Bear In such a loving voice That everybody felt quite hopeful again I was just beginning to think,

Said Bear Sniffing slightly That Rabbit might never be able to use his front door again And I should hate that,

He said So should I,

Said Rabbit Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin Of course,

He'll use his front door again Good,

Said Rabbit If we can't pull you out,

Pooh We might push you back Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully And pointed out that When once Pooh was pushed back He was back And of course,

Nobody was more glad to see Pooh Than he was Still,

It was Some lived in trees And some undergrowth And You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh I mean,

Said Rabbit Having got so far It seems a pity to waste it Christopher Robin nodded Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said We shall have to wait for you to get thin again How long does thin take?

Asked Pooh anxiously About a week,

I should think But I can't stay here for a week You can stay here,

All right,

Silly old bear It's getting you out,

Which is difficult We'll read to you,

Said Rabbit cheerfully And I hope it won't snow,

He added And I say,

Old fellow You're taking up a good deal of room in my house Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse?

Because I mean,

They are doing nothing And it would be very convenient Just to hang the towels on them A week,

Said Pooh gloomily What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin Because we're getting thin quicker But we will read to you Bear began to sigh And then he found he couldn't Because he was so tightly stuck And a tear rolled down his eye,

As he said Then would you read a sustaining book Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear In great tightness So for a week,

Christopher Robin read that sort of book At the north end of Pooh And Rabbit hung his washing on the south end And in between,

Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer And at the end of the week,

Christopher Robin said Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit And they all pulled together And for a long time,

Pooh only said Ow!

And whoa!

And then,

All of a sudden,

He said Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle And Christopher Robin and Rabbit And all Rabbit's friends and relations Went head over heels backwards And on top of them came Winnie the Pooh Free!

So with a nod of thanks to his friends He went on with his walk through the forest Humming proudly to himself But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly And said to himself Silly old bear!

One fine winter's day When Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house He happened to look up And there was Winnie the Pooh Pooh was walking round and round in a circle Thinking of something else And when Piglet called to him He just went on walking Hello,

Said Piglet What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh Hunting what?

Tracking something Said Winnie the Pooh Very mysteriously Tracking what?

Said Piglet Coming closer I shall have to wait until I catch up with it Said Winnie the Pooh Now look there He pointed to the ground in front of him What do you see there?

Tracks?

Said Piglet Poor Mox He gave a little squeak of excitement Oh Pooh Do you think it's a.

.

.

A.

.

.

Woozle?

It may be,

Said Pooh Sometimes it is And sometimes it isn't He never can tell with poor Mox With these few words he went on tracking And Piglet,

After watching him for a minute or two Ran after him Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop And was bending over the tracks In a puzzled sort of way What's the matter?

Asked Piglet It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear But there seem to be two animals now This,

Whatever it is Has been joined by another Whatever it is And the two of them are now proceeding in company Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet?

In case they turn out to be hostile animals Piglet scratched his ear In a nice sort of way And said they had nothing to do until Friday And would be delighted to come In case it really was a woozle You mean in case it really is two woozles,

Said Winnie the Pooh And Piglet said that anyhow He had nothing to do until Friday So off they went together There was a small spinny of larch trees just here And it seemed as if the two woozles If that is what they were Had been going round this spinny So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh What his grandfather had done to remove stiffness After tracking And other matters of interest And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like And if perhaps this was two grandfathers That they were after now And if so,

Whether he would be allowed To take one home and keep it And what Christopher Robin would say And still the tracks went on in front of them Suddenly,

Winnie the Pooh stopped And pointed excitedly in front of him Look!

What?

Said Piglet With a jump And then to show that he hadn't been frightened He jumped up and down once or twice More in an exercising sort of way The tracks,

Said Pooh A third animal has joined the other two Pooh,

Cried Piglet Do you think it's another woozle?

No,

Said Pooh Because it makes different marks Let us continue to follow them So they went on Feeling just a little bit anxious now In case the three animals in front of them Were of hostile intent And Pooh thought how nice it would be If they met Christopher Robin suddenly But quite accidentally And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much And then,

All of a sudden Winnie the Pooh stopped again And licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever In his life before There were now four animals in front of them Do you see it,

Piglet?

Look at their tracks!

Another woozle has joined them And so it seemed to be There were the tracks crossing over each other here Getting muddled up with each other there But,

Quite plainly every now and then The tracks of four sets of paws I think,

Said Piglet When he had licked the tip of his nose too And found that it brought very little comfort I think,

I have just remembered something That I forgot to do yesterday And I shan't be able to do tomorrow So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now We'll do it this afternoon And I'll come with you,

Said Pooh It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon Said Piglet quickly It's a very particular morning thing That I think has to be done in the morning And if possible,

Between the hours of What would you say the time was?

About twelve,

Said Winnie the Pooh Looking at the sun Between,

As I was saying,

The hours of twelve And twelve-five So really,

Dear old Pooh If you'll excuse me What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky And then He heard the whistle again And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree And then he saw a friend of his It's Christopher Robin,

He said Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet You'll be quite safe with him Goodbye And he trotted off home as quickly as he could Very glad to be out of all danger again And Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree Silly old bear,

He said What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself And then Piglet ran after you And you went round again together And then you were just going round a fourth time Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh Holding up his paw He sat down and thought In the most thoughtful way he could think Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks And then he scratched his nose twice And stood up Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh I see it now I've been foolish and deluded,

He said And I am a bear of no brain at all You're the best bear in all the world,

Said Christopher Robin Soothingly Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully And then he brightened up suddenly Anyhow,

He said It's nearly luncheon time So he went home for it The old grey donkey,

Eeyore,

Stood by himself In the thistly corner of the forest His front feet well apart His head on one side And thought about things Sometimes he thought sadly to himself Why?

And sometimes he thought Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little In order to say How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him And how are you,

Said Winnie the Pooh Eeyore shook his head from side to side Not very well,

He said I don't seem to have felt at all well for a long time Oh dear,

Said Pooh I'm sorry about that Let's have a look at you So Eeyore stood there Gazing sadly at the ground And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore It isn't there Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there Or it isn't there You can't make a mistake about it And yours isn't there Then what is?

Nothing Let's have a look Said Eeyore As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been A little while ago And then,

Finding that he couldn't catch it up He turned round the other way Until he came back to where he was at first And then he put his head down And looked between his front legs And at last he said With a long sad sigh I believe you're right Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh That accounts for a good deal Said Eeyore gloomily It explains everything No wonder You must have left it somewhere,

Said Winnie the Pooh Somebody must have taken it,

Said Eeyore How like them,

He added After a long silence Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it But didn't quite know what So he decided to do something helpful Instead Eeyore,

He said solemnly I,

Winnie the Pooh,

Will find your tail Thank you,

Pooh,

Answered Eeyore You're a real friend,

He said Not like some So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail It was a fine spring morning in the forest As he started out Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky Skipping from time to time in front of the sun As if they had come to put it out And then sliding away suddenly So that the next might have his turn Through them and between them The sun shone bravely And a copse which had worn its furs all year round Seemed old and dowdy now Beside the new green lace Which the beaches had put on prettily Through the copse and spinny Marched Bear Down open slopes of gores and heather Over rocky beds of streams Up steep banks of sandstone Into the heather again And so at last,

Tired and hungry To the hundred-acre wood For it was the hundred-acre wood That Owl lived And if anyone knows anything about anything Said Bear to himself It's Owl who knew something about something,

He said Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh Which it is,

He added So there you are Owl lived at the Chestnuts An old world residence of great charm Which was grander than anybody else's Or seemed so to Bear Because it had both a knocker and bell pull Underneath the knocker There was a notice which said Please ring if an answer is required Underneath the bell pull There was a notice which said Please knock if an answer is not required These notices had been written by Christopher Robin Who was the only one in the forest who could spell For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways Able to read and write and spell his own name Wol,

It somehow went all to pieces Over delicate words like measles and buttered toast Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully First from left to right And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it From right to left Then,

To make quite sure He knocked and pulled the knocker And he pulled and knocked the bell rope And he called out in a very loud voice Owl,

I require an answer It's Bear speaking And the door opened And Owl looked out Hello Pooh,

He said How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine Has lost his tail And he's moping about it So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl The customary procedure in such cases is as follows What does crusty money proceed cake mean?

Said Pooh For I am a bear of very little brain And long words bother me It means things to do As long as it means that I don't mind,

Said Pooh humbly The thing to do is as follows First,

Issue a reward Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh Holding up his paw What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me I didn't sneeze?

Yes,

You did,

Owl Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't You can't sneeze without knowing it Well,

You can't know it Without something having been sneezed What I said was First,

Issue a reward You're doing it again,

Said Pooh sadly A reward,

Said Owl very loudly We write a notice to say That we'll give a large something To anybody who finds Eeyore's tail I see,

I see,

Said Pooh Nodding his head Talking about large somethings,

He went on dreamily I generally have a small something about now About this time in the morning And he looked wistfully at the cupboard In the corner of Owl's parlour Just a mouthful of condensed milk or what not With perhaps a lick of honey Well then,

Said Owl We will write out this notice And we put it up all over the forest A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself Or,

Or not,

As the case may be He gave a deep sigh And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying But Owl went on and on Using longer and longer words Until at last he came back to where he had started And he explained that the person to write out this notice Was Christopher Robin It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn With his eyes shut to all that Owl was saying And having said yes,

Yes the last time He said,

No,

Not at all Without really knowing what Owl was talking about Did you see them,

Said Owl A little surprised Come and look at them now So they went outside Pooh looked at the knocker And the notice below it And he looked up at the bellrope And the notice below it And the more he looked at the bellrope The more he felt that he'd seen something like it Somewhere else Some time before Handsome bellrope,

Isn't it?

Said Owl Pooh nodded It reminds me of something,

He said But I can't think what Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest It was hanging over a bush And I thought at first somebody lived there So I rang it And nothing happened And then I rang it again Very loudly And it came off in my hand And as nobody seemed to want it I took it home and Owl Said Pooh solemnly You made a mistake Somebody did want it Who?

Eeyore My friend Eeyore He was fond of it Fond of it?

Attached to it Said Winnie the Pooh sadly So with these words He unhooked it And carried it back to Eeyore And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on In its right place again Eeyore frisked about in the forest Waving his tail so happily That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny And had to hurry home for a little snack Of something to sustain him And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards He sang to himself proudly Who found the tail?

I said Pooh At a quarter to two Only it was a quarter to eleven really I found the tail One day When Christopher Robin And Winnie the Pooh And Piglet Were all talking together Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating And said carelessly I saw a heffalump today Piglet What was it doing?

Asked Piglet Just lumping around Said Christopher Robin I don't think it saw me I saw one once Said Piglet At least I think I did Only perhaps it wasn't So did I Said Pooh Wondering what a heffalump was like You don't often see them Said Christopher Robin carelessly Not now Said Piglet Not at this time of year Said Pooh Then they all talked about something else Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet To go home together At first They stomped along the path Which edged the hundred acre wood They didn't say much to each other But when they came to the stream And had helped each other across the stepping stones And were able to walk side by side again Over the heather They began to talk in a friendly way About this and that And Piglet said If you see what I mean Pooh And Pooh said It's just what I think myself Piglet And Piglet said But on the other hand Pooh we must remember And Pooh said Quite true Piglet Although I had forgotten it for the moment And then Just as they came to the six pine trees Pooh looked around To see that nobody else was listening And said in a very solemn voice Piglet I have decided something What have you decided Pooh?

I have decided To catch a heather lump Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this And waited for Piglet to say How?

Or Pooh you couldn't Or something helpful of that sort But Piglet said nothing The fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first I shall do it said Pooh After waiting a little longer By means of a trap And it must be a cunning trap So you will have to help me Piglet Pooh said Piglet Feeling quite happy again now I will And then he said How shall we do it?

And Pooh said That's just it How?

And then they sat down together to think about it Pooh's first idea Was that they should dig a very deep pit And then the heather lump would come along And fall into the pit Why?

Said Piglet Why what?

Said Pooh Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw And said That a heather lump might be walking along Humming a little song And looking up at the sky Wondering if it would rain And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that this was a very good trap But supposing it were raining already Pooh rubbed his nose again And said that he hadn't thought of that And then he brightened up And said that If it were raining already The heather lump would be looking up at the sky Wondering if it would clear up And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that now this point had been explained He thought it was a cunning trap Pooh was very proud when he heard this And felt that the heather lump was as good as caught already But there was just one other thing Which he hadn't thought about And it was this Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place Would be somewhere where a heather lump was Just before he fell into it Only about a foot further on But then he would see us digging it Said Pooh Not if he was looking at the sky He would suspect Said Pooh If he happened to look down He thought for a long time And then added sadly It isn't as easy as I thought I suppose that's why heather lumps hardly ever get caught That must be it Said Piglet They sighed and caught up And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves They sat down again And all the time Pooh was saying to himself If only I could think of something For he felt sure that a very clever brain Could catch a heather lump If only he knew the right way to go about it Suppose,

He said to Piglet You wanted to catch me How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet I should do it like this I should make a trap And I should put a jar of honey in the trap And you would smell it And you would go after it And.

.

.

And I would go in after it Said Pooh excitedly Only very carefully So as not to hurt myself And I'd get to the jar of honey And I should lick round the edges first of all Pretending that there wasn't any more You know And then I should walk away And think about it a little And then I should come back And start licking in the middle of the jar And then.

.

.

Never mind about that There you would be And there I should catch you Now the first thing to think of is What do heather lumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say,

Wake up Pooh Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream Woke up with a start And said that honey was a much more trappy thing Than acorns Piglet didn't think so And they were just going to argue about it When Piglet remembered that If they put acorns in the trap He would have to find the acorns But if they put honey Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey So he said All right,

Honey then Just as Pooh remembered it too And was going to say All right,

Acorns Honey,

Said Piglet to himself In a thoughtful way As if it were now settled I'll dig the pit While you go and get the honey Very well,

Said Pooh As he stumped off As soon as he got home He went to the larder And he stood on a chair And took down a very large jar of honey From the top of the shelf It had honey written on it But just to make sure He took off the paper cover And looked at it And it looked just like honey But you never can tell,

Said Pooh I remember my uncle saying once That he had seen cheese just this colour So he put his tongue in And took a large lick Yes,

He said It is No doubt about that And honey,

I should say Right down to the bottom of the jar Unless,

Of course,

He said Somebody put cheese at the bottom Just for a joke Perhaps I had better go a little further Just in case In case heffalumps don't like cheese Same as me And he gave a deep sigh I was right It is honey Right the way down Having made certain of this He took the jar back to Piglet And Piglet looked up from the bottom Of his very deep pit And said Got it?

And Pooh said Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar And he threw it down to Piglet And Piglet said No,

It isn't Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said Yes So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit And climbed out And they went off home together Well,

Goodnight Pooh,

Said Piglet When they had got to Pooh's house And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning By the pine trees And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap Six o'clock,

Piglet And have you got any string?

No?

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with Oh I think heffalumps come if you whistle Some do Some don't You never can tell with heffalumps Well,

Goodnight Goodnight And off Piglet trotted to his house While Pooh made his preparations for bed Some hours later Just as the night was beginning to steer away Pooh woke up suddenly With a sinking feeling He had had that sinking feeling before And he knew what it meant He was hungry So he went to the larder He stood on a chair And reached up to the top shelf And found Nothing That's funny,

He thought I know I had a jar of honey there A full jar Full of honey Right up to the top And it had honey written on it So that I should know it was honey That's very funny Then he began to wander up and down Wondering where it was And murmuring a murmur to himself Like this It's very,

Very funny Cause I know I had some honey Cause it had a label on Saying honey Like a loctuous full up pot too And I don't know where it's got to No,

I don't know where it's gone Well,

It's funny He had murmured this to himself three times In a singing sort of way When suddenly he remembered He had put it into the cunning trap To catch the heffalump Oh,

Bother,

Said Pooh It all comes from trying to be kind To heffalumps And he got back into bed But he couldn't sleep The more he tried to sleep The more he couldn't He tried counting sheep Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep And as that was no good He tried counting heffalumps And that was worse Because every heffalump that he counted Was making straight for the pot of Pooh's honey And eating it all For some minutes he lay there miserably But when the 587th heffalump was licking its jaws And saying to itself Very good honey,

This I don't know when I've tasted better Pooh could bear it no longer He jumped out of bed He ran out of the house And he ran straight to the six pine trees The sun was still in bed But there was a lightness in the sky Over the hundred acre wood Which seemed to show that it was waking up And would soon be kicking off the clothes In the half-light The pine trees looked cold and lonely And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was And Pooh's jar of honey at the bottom Was something mysterious A shape And no more But as he got nearer to it His nose told him that it was indeed honey And his tongue came out and began to polish up his mouth Ready for it Bother,

Said Pooh As he got his nose inside the jar A heffalump has been eating it And then he thought a little and said Oh no I did I forgot Indeed,

He had eaten most of it But there was a little left At the very bottom of the jar And he pushed his head right in And began to lick By and by,

Piglet woke up As soon as he woke,

He said to himself Oh,

And then he said Yes And then,

Still more bravely Quite so But he didn't feel very brave For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain Was heffalumps What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs Would it make any difference If the pig had a grandfather called Trespassers William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions And he was going to see his first heffalump In about an hour from now Of course,

Pooh would be with him And it was much more friendly with two But suppose heffalumps were very fierce With pigs and bears Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a headache And couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose that it was a very fine day And there was no heffalump in the trap Here he would be in bed all morning Simply wasting his time for nothing What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea He would go up very quietly to the six pine trees now Peep very cautiously into the trap And see if there was a heffalump there And if there was He would go back to bed And if there wasn't He wouldn't So off he went At first he thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap And then he thought that there would And as he got nearer He was sure that there would Because he could hear it heffalumping about like anything Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear Said Piglet to himself And now he wanted to run away But somehow,

Having got so near He felt that he must just see What a heffalump was like So he crept to the side of the trap And looked in And all the time Winnie the Pooh had been trying to get the honey jar Off his head The more he shook it The more tightly it stuck Father,

He said Inside the jar And Oh help And mostly Ow And he tried bumping it against things But he couldn't see what he was bumping it against And it didn't help him And he tried to climb out of the trap But he could see nothing but jar And not much of that He couldn't find his way So at last he lifted up his head Jar and all And made a loud roaring noise Of sadness and despair And it was at that moment That Piglet looked down Help Help Cried Piglet A heffalump A horrible heffalump And he scarpered off as hard as he could Still crying out Help Help A harrible heffalump A harrible hoffalump Hoff Hoff A hellable horralump Ho Ho A hoffable hellerump And he didn't stop crying and scampering Until he got to Christopher Robin's house Whatever is the matter Piglet?

Said Christopher Robin He was just getting up Heff Heff Said Piglet Breathing so hard that he could hardly speak A heff A heff A heffalump Where Up there Said Piglet Waving his paw Well what did it look like?

Like Like It had the biggest head you ever saw Christopher Robin A great enormous thing Like Like nothing A huge big well Like a I don't know Like an enormous big nothing Like a jar Well said Christopher Robin Putting on his shoes I shall go and look at it Come on Piglet wasn't afraid if he had Christopher Robin with him So off they went I can hear it Can you?

Said Piglet anxiously as they got near I can hear something Said Christopher Robin It was Pooh Bumping his head against a tree root he had found There Said Piglet Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh He laughed and he laughed and he laughed And while he was still laughing Crash went the heffalump's head against the tree root Smash went the jar And out came Pooh's head again Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been And he was so ashamed of himself That he ran straight off home and went to bed with a headache But Christopher Robin and Pooh followed Piglet home And made him a special breakfast And told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all And that they both love him very much Once upon a time A very long time ago now About last Friday Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest All by himself Under the name of Sanders One day when he was out walking He came to an open place In the middle of the forest And in the middle of this place Was a large oak tree And from the top of the tree There came a loud buzzing noise Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree Put his head between his paws And began to think First of all he said to himself That buzzing noise means something You don't get a buzzing noise like that Just buzzing and buzzing Without it's meaning something If there's a buzzing noise Somebody's making a buzzing noise And the only reason for making a buzzing noise That I know of Is because you're a bee Then he thought another long time And said And the only reason for being a bee That I know of Is making honey And then he got up and said And the only reason for making honey Is so that I can eat it So he began to climb the tree He climbed and he climbed And he climbed And as he climbed He sang a little song to himself It went like this Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey Buzz buzz buzz I wonder why he does Then he climbed a little further And a little further And then just a little further By that time He had thought of another song It's a very funny thought If bears were bees They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees And that being so If the bees were bears We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs He was getting rather tired by this time So that is why he sang a complaining song He was nearly there now And if he just stood on that branch Crack Oh help Said Poo As he dropped ten feet to the branch below him If only I hadn't He said As he bounced twenty feet on the next branch You see What I meant to do He explained As he turned head over heels And crashed onto another branch Thirty feet below What I meant to do Of course it was rather He admitted As he slithered very quickly Through the next six branches It all comes I suppose He decided As he said goodbye to the last branch Spun round three times And flew gracefully Into a gorse bush It all comes of liking honey so much Oh help He crawled out of the gorse bush Brushed the prickles from his nose And began to think again And the first person he thought of Was Christopher Robin So Winnie the Pooh Went round to his friend Christopher Robin Who lived behind a green door In another part of the forest Good morning Christopher Robin He said Good morning Winnie the Pooh Said you I wonder if you've got such a thing As a balloon about you A balloon Yes I just said to myself coming along I wonder if Christopher Robin Has such a thing as a balloon about him What do you want a balloon for You said Winnie the Pooh looked round To see that nobody was listening Put his paw to his mouth And said in a deep whisper Honey But you don't get honey with balloons I do said Pooh Well it just happened That you had been to a party the day before At the house of your friend Piglet And you had balloons at the party You'd had big green balloons And one of Rabbit's relations Had a big blue one And had left it behind And so you had brought the green one And the blue one home with you Which one would you like You asked Pooh He put his head between his paws And thought very carefully It's like this he said When you go after honey with a balloon The great thing is not to let the bees Know you're coming Now if you have a green balloon They might think you are only part of the tree And not notice you And if you have a blue balloon They might think you're only part of the sky And not notice you And the question is Which is most likely?

Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon You asked They might Or they might not Said Winnie the Pooh You never can tell with bees He thought for a moment and said I shall try to look like a small black cloud That will deceive them Then you had better have the blue balloon You said And so it was decided You both went out with the blue balloon And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place That he knew of And rolled and rolled Until he was black all over And then when the balloon was blown up As big as big And you and Pooh were both holding on to the string You let go suddenly And Pooh floated gracefully up into the sky And stayed there Level with the top of the tree And about 20 feet away from it Hooray!

You shouted Isn't that fine?

Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you What do I look like?

You look like a bear holding on to a balloon You said Not Said Pooh anxiously Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?

Not very much Oh well Perhaps from up here it all looks different And as I say You never can tell with bees There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree So he stayed He could see the honey He could smell the honey But he couldn't quite reach the honey After a little while He called down to you Christopher Robin He said in a loud whisper Hello I think the bees suspect something What sort of thing?

I don't know But something tells me that they're suspicious Perhaps they think you're after the honey It may be that You never can tell with bees There was another little silence And then he called down again Christopher Robin Yes?

Have you an umbrella in your house?

I think so I wish you would bring it out here And walk up and down with it And look up at me every now and then And say It looks like rain I think if you did that It would help the deception Which we are practicing on these bees You laughed to yourself Silly old bear But you didn't say it out loud Because you were so fond of him And you went home for your umbrella Oh there you are Called down with the poo As soon as you got back to the tree I was beginning to get anxious I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious Shall I put my umbrella up?

You said Yes But wait a moment We must be practical The important bee to deceive Is the queen bee Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?

No A pity Well now If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying It looks like rain I shall do what I can By singing a little cloud song Such as a cloud might sing So while you were walking up and down And wondering if it would rain Winnie the Pooh sang this song How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue Every little cloud Always sings aloud How sweet to be a cloud Floating in the blue To make him very proud To be a little cloud The bees were still buzzing As suspiciously as ever Some of them indeed left their nests And flew all around the cloud As it began the second verse of this song And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud For a moment And then got up again Christopher Ow Robin Called the cloud Yes?

I have just been thinking And have come to a very important decision These are the wrong sort of bees Are they?

Quite the wrong sort So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey Would they?

Yes So I think I shall come down now How?

You asked Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this If he let go of the string He would fall Bump And he didn't like the idea of that So he thought for a long time And then he said Christopher Robin You must shoot the balloon down With your pea shooter Have you got it?

Of course I have,

You said But if I do that It will spoil your balloon,

You said But if you don't,

Said Pooh I shall have to let go And that would spoil me When he put it like this You saw how it was And you aimed very carefully With your pea shooter At the balloon And fired Ow,

Said Pooh Did I miss?

You asked You didn't exactly miss,

Said Pooh But you missed the balloon I'm so sorry,

You said As you fired again With a big puff of breath And this time You hit the balloon And the air came slowly out And Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground But his arms were so stiff From holding onto the string of the balloon All that time They stayed straight up in the air For more than a week And whenever a fly came to settle on his nose He had to blow it off And I think,

But I'm not sure That that is why he was always called Pooh Is that the end of the story?

Asked Christopher Robin That's the end of that one There are others About Pooh and me And Piglet And Rabbit And all of you Don't you remember?

I do remember And then when I'm trying to remember I forget And that's why he likes having it told to him again Because then it's a real story And not just a remembering Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh Yawned And yawns are catching So Winnie the Pooh yawned too Do you think it's time to go to sleep?

Said Christopher Robin Yes,

Said Pooh Very much so The end Edward Bear,

Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh Or Pooh for short Was walking through the forest one day Humming proudly to himself He had made up a little hum that very morning As he was doing his stoutness exercises In front of the glass Tra la la Tra la la As he stretched up as high as he could go And he was humming Tra la la Oh help As he tried to reach his toes After breakfast He had said it over and over to himself Until he had learnt it off by heart And now he was humming it right through Properly It went like this Tra la la Tra la la Rum tum tiddle um tum He was humming this hum to himself And walking gaily along Wondering what everybody else was doing And what it felt like being someone else When suddenly He came to a sandy bank And in the bank Was a large hole Ah ha,

Said Pooh Rum tiddle um tum If I know anything about anything That hole means rabbit He said And rabbit means company He said And company means food And listening to me humming And such like Rum tum tum tiddle um So he bent down Put his head into the hole And called out Is anybody home?

There was a sudden scuffling noise From inside the hole And then silence What I said was Is anybody at home?

Called out Pooh Very loudly Nope,

Said a voice And then added You needn't shout so loud I heard you quite well the first time Bother,

Said Pooh Isn't there anybody here at all?

Nobody Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole And thought for a little He thought to himself There must be somebody there Because Somebody must have said nobody So he put his head back in the hole And said Hello rabbit Is that you?

No,

Said rabbit In a different sort of voice this time But isn't that rabbit's voice?

I don't think so,

Said rabbit Oh,

Said Pooh He took his head out of the hole And had another think And then he put it back And said Well,

Could you very kindly tell me where rabbit is?

He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear Who is a great friend of his But this is me,

Said bear Very much surprised What sort of me?

Pooh Bear Are you sure?

Said rabbit Still more surprised Quite,

Quite sure,

Said Pooh Bear Oh well then,

Come in So Pooh Bear pushed and pushed And pushed his way through the hole And at last got in You were quite right,

Said rabbit Looking at him all over It is you Glad to see you Who did you think it was?

Well,

I wasn't sure You know how it is in the forest One can't have anybody coming to one's house One has to be careful What about a mouthful of something?

Pooh always liked a little something At eleven o'clock in the morning And he was very glad to see rabbit Getting out the plates and mugs And when rabbit said Honey or condensed milk with your bread He was so excited that he said Both!

And then,

So as not to seem greedy He added But don't bother about the bread,

Please And for a long time after that He said nothing Until at last,

Humming to himself In a rather sticky voice He caught up Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw And said that he must be going on Mustn't you?

Said rabbit politely Well,

Said Pooh I could stay a little longer If you And he tried very hard to look in the direction Of the larder As a matter of fact,

Said rabbit I was going up myself Directly Oh well then I'll be going on Goodbye Well,

Goodbye If you're sure you won't have any more Is there any more?

Asked Pooh quickly Rabbit took the covers off the dishes And said No,

There wasn't I thought not,

Said Pooh Nodding to himself Well,

Goodbye I must be going on So he started to climb out of the hole He pulled with his front paws And pushed with his back paws And in a little while His nose was out and he opened again And then his ears And then his front paws And then his shoulders And then Oh help,

Said Pooh I better go back Oh bother,

Said Pooh I shall have to go on I can't do either Oh help Oh bother Now,

By this time Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too And finding the front door full He went out by the back door And came round to Pooh And looked at him Hello Are you stuck?

He asked No,

Said Pooh carelessly Just resting I think And humming to myself Here,

Give us a paw Pooh Bear stretched out a paw And Rabbit pulled And pulled And pulled Ow,

Cried Pooh Bear You're hurting The fact is,

Said Rabbit You're stuck It all comes,

Said Pooh cautiously Of not having front doors big enough It all comes,

Said Rabbit sternly Of eating too much I thought at the time,

Said Rabbit Only,

I didn't like to say anything That one of us was eating too much And I knew it wasn't me,

He said Well,

I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest And when he came back with Rabbit And saw the front half of Pooh,

He said Silly old Bear In such a loving voice That everybody felt quite hopeful again I was just beginning to think,

Said Bear Sniffing slightly That Rabbit might never be able to use his front door again And I should hate that,

He said So should I,

Said Rabbit Use his front door again,

Said Christopher Robin Of course,

He'll use his front door again Good,

Said Rabbit If we can't pull you out,

Pooh We might push you back Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully And pointed out that When once Pooh was pushed back He was back And of course,

Nobody was more glad to see Pooh Than he was Still,

It was Some lived in trees And some undergrowth And You mean I'd never get out,

Said Pooh I mean,

Said Rabbit Having got so far It seems a pity to waste it Christopher Robin nodded Then there's only one thing to be done,

He said We shall have to wait for you to get thin again How long does thin take,

Asked Pooh anxiously About a week,

I should think But I can't stay here for a week You can stay here,

All right,

Silly old bear It's getting you out,

Which is difficult We'll read to you,

Said Rabbit cheerfully And I hope it won't snow,

He added And I say,

Old fellow You're taking up a good deal of room in my house Do you mind if I use your butt legs as a towel horse Because I mean,

They are doing nothing And it would be very convenient Just to hang the towels on them A week,

Said Pooh gloomily What about meals?

I'm afraid no meals,

Said Christopher Robin Because we're getting thin quicker But we will read to you Bear began to sigh And then he found he couldn't Because he was so tightly stuck And a tear rolled down his eye,

As he said Then would you read a sustaining book Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear In great tightness So for a week,

Christopher Robin Read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh And Rabbit hung his washing on the south end And in between,

Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer And at the end of the week,

Christopher Robin said Now!

So he took hold of Pooh's front paws And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin And all the rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit And they all pulled together And for a long time,

Pooh only said Ow!

And whoa!

And then,

All of a sudden,

He said Pop!

Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle And Christopher Robin and Rabbit And all Rabbit's friends and relations Went head over heels backwards And on top of them came Winnie the Pooh Free!

So with a nod of thanks to his friends He went on with his walk through the forest Humming proudly to himself But Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly And said to himself Silly old bear!

One fine winter's day When Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house He happened to look up And there was Winnie the Pooh Pooh was walking round and round in a circle Thinking of something else And when Piglet called to him He just went on walking Hello,

Said Piglet What are you doing?

Hunting,

Said Pooh Hunting what?

Tracking something,

Said Winnie the Pooh Very mysteriously Tracking what?

Said Piglet Coming closer I shall have to wait until I catch up with it Said Winnie the Pooh Now look there!

He pointed to the ground in front of him What do you see there?

Tracks,

Said Piglet Paw marks He gave a little squeak of excitement Oh Pooh!

Do you think it's a.

.

.

A.

.

.

Woozle?

It may be,

Said Pooh Sometimes it is And sometimes it isn't He never can tell with paw marks With these few words,

He went on tracking And Piglet,

After watching him for a minute or two Ran after him Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop And was bending over the tracks In a puzzled sort of way What's the matter?

Asked Piglet It's a very funny thing,

Said Bear But there seem to be two animals now This,

Whatever it is Has been joined by another Whatever it is And the two of them are now proceeding in company Would you mind coming with me,

Piglet?

In case they turn out to be hostile animals Piglet scratched his ear In a nice sort of way And said that he had nothing to do until Friday And would be delighted to come In case it really was a Woozle You mean,

In case it really is two Woozles Said Winnie the Pooh And Piglet said that anyhow He had nothing to do until Friday So off they went together There was a small spinny of large trees just here And it seemed as if the two Woozles If that is what they were Had been going round this spinny So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh What his grandfather had done to remove stiffness After tracking And other matters of interest And Pooh wondered what a grandfather was like And if perhaps this was two grandfathers That they were after now And if so Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it And what Christopher Robin would say And still the tracks went on in front of them Suddenly Winnie the Pooh stopped And pointed excitedly in front of him Look!

What?

Said Piglet With a jump And then to show that he hadn't been frightened He jumped up and down once or twice More in an exercising sort of way The tracks!

Said Pooh A third animal has joined the other two Pooh!

Cried Piglet Do you think it's another Woozle?

No!

Said Pooh Because it makes different marks Let us continue to follow them So they went on Feeling just a little bit anxious now In case the three animals in front of them Were of hostile intent And Pooh thought how nice it would be If they met Christopher Robin suddenly But quite accidentally And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much And then All of a sudden Winnie the Pooh stopped again And licked the tip of his nose In a cooling manner For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever In his life before There were now four animals in front of them Do you see it Piglet?

Look at their tracks!

Another Woozle has joined them And so it seemed to be There were the tracks crossing over each other here Getting muddled up with each other there But Quite plainly every now and then The tracks of four sets of paws I think,

Said Piglet When he had licked the tip of his nose too And found that it brought very little comfort I think I have just remembered something That I forgot to do yesterday And I shan't be able to do tomorrow So I suppose I really ought to go back And do it now We'll do it this afternoon And I'll come with you,

Said Pooh It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon Said Piglet quickly It's a very particular morning thing That I think has to be done in the morning And if possible Between the hours of What would you say the time was?

About twelve,

Said Winnie the Pooh Looking at the sun Between,

As I was saying The hours of twelve And twelve-five So really Dear old Pooh If you'll excuse me What's that?

Pooh looked up at the sky And then He heard the whistle again And looked up at the branches of a big oak tree And then he saw a friend of his It's Christopher Robin,

He said Ah,

Then you'll be all right,

Said Piglet You'll be quite safe with him Goodbye And he trotted off home as quickly as he could Very glad to be out of all danger again And Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree Silly old bear,

He said What were you doing?

First you went round the spinny twice by yourself And then Piglet ran after you And you went round again together And then you were just going round a fourth time Wait a moment,

Said Winnie the Pooh Holding up his paw He sat down and thought In the most thoughtful way he could think Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks And then he scratched his nose twice And stood up Yes,

Said Winnie the Pooh I see it now I've been foolish and deluded,

He said And I am a bear of no brain at all You're the best bear in all the world,

Said Christopher Robin Soothingly Am I?

Said Pooh hopefully And then he brightened up suddenly Anyhow,

He said It's nearly luncheon time So he went home for it The old grey donkey,

Eeyore,

Stood by himself In the thistly corner of the forest His front feet well apart His head on one side And thought about things Sometimes he thought sadly to himself Why?

And sometimes he thought Wherefore?

And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about So when Winnie the Pooh came stomping along Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little In order to say How do you do?

In a gloomy manner to him And how are you?

Said Winnie the Pooh Eeyore shook his head from side to side Not very well,

He said I don't seem to have felt at all well for a long time Oh dear,

Said Pooh I'm sorry about that Let's have a look at you So Eeyore stood there Gazing sadly at the ground And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once What's happened to your tail?

He said in surprise What has happened to it?

Said Eeyore It isn't there Are you sure?

Well either a tail is there Or it isn't there You can't make a mistake about it And yours isn't there Then what is?

Nothing Let's have a look Said Eeyore As he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been A little while ago And then Finding that he couldn't catch it up He turned round the other way Until he came back to where he was at first And then he put his head down And looked between his front legs And at last he said With a long sad sigh I believe you're right Of course I'm right,

Said Pooh That accounts for a good deal,

Said Eeyore gloomily It explains everything No wonder You must have left it somewhere,

Said Winnie the Pooh Somebody must have taken it,

Said Eeyore How like them,

He added After a long silence Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it But didn't quite know what So he decided to do something helpful instead Eeyore,

He said solemnly I,

Winnie the Pooh,

Will find your tail Thank you,

Pooh,

Answered Eeyore You're a real friend,

He said Not like some So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail It was a fine spring morning in the forest As he started out Little soft clouds played happily in the blue sky Skipping from time to time in front of the sun As if they had come to put it out And then sliding away suddenly So that the next might have his turn Through them and between them The sun shone bravely And a copse,

Which had worn its furs all year round Seemed old and dowdy now Beside the new green lace Which the beaches had put on prettily Through the copse and spinny marched Bear Down open slopes of gores and heather Over rocky beds of streams Up steep banks of sandstone Into the heather again And so at last,

Tired and hungry To the hundred-acre wood For it was the hundred-acre wood that Owl lived And if anyone knows anything about anything Said Bear to himself It's Owl who knew something about something He said Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh Which it is,

He added So there you are Owl lived at the chestnuts An old world residence of great charm Which was grander than anybody else's Or seemed so to Bear Because it had both a knocker and bell pull Underneath the knocker There was a notice which said Please ring if an answer is required Underneath the bell pull There was a notice which said Please knock if an answer is not required These notices had been written by Christopher Robin Who was the only one in the forest who could spell For Owl,

Wise though he was in many ways Able to read and write and spell his own name Well,

It somehow went all to pieces Over delicate words like measles and buttered toast Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully First from left to right And afterwards,

In case he had missed some of it From right to left Then,

To make quite sure He knocked and pulled the knocker And he pulled and knocked the bell rope And he called out in a very loud voice Owl,

I require an answer It's Bear speaking And the door opened And Owl looked out Hello Pooh,

He said How's things?

Terrible and sad,

Said Pooh Because Eeyore,

Who is a friend of mine Has lost his tail And he's moping about it So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?

Well,

Said Owl The customary procedure in such cases is as follows What does crusty money proceed cake mean?

Said Pooh For I am a bear of very little brain And long words bother me It means things to do As long as it means that I don't mind,

Said Pooh humbly The thing to do is as follows First,

Issue a reward Then,

Just a moment,

Said Pooh Holding up his paw What were you saying?

You sneezed,

Just as you were going to tell me I didn't sneeze?

Yes you did,

Owl Excuse me,

Pooh,

I didn't You can't sneeze without knowing it Well,

You can't know it Without something having been sneezed What I said was First,

Issue a reward You're doing it again,

Said Pooh sadly A reward,

Said Owl very loudly We write a notice to say That we'll give a large something To anybody who finds Eeyore's tail I see,

I see,

Said Pooh Nodding his head Talking about large somethings He went on dreamily I generally have a small something about now About this time in the morning And he looked wistfully at the cupboard In the corner of Owl's parlour Just a mouthful of condensed milk or what not With perhaps a lick of honey Well then,

Said Owl We will write out this notice And we put it up all over the forest A lick of honey,

Murmured Bear to himself Or,

Or not,

As the case may be He gave a deep sigh And tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying But Owl went on and on Using longer and longer words Until at last he came back to where he had started And he explained that the person to write out this notice Was Christopher Robin It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me Did you see them,

Pooh?

For some time now,

Pooh had been saying yes and no in turn With his eyes shut to all that Owl was saying And having said yes,

Yes the last time He said,

No,

Not at all Without really knowing what Owl was talking about Did you see them,

Said Owl,

A little surprised Come and look at them now So they went outside Pooh looked at the knocker And the notice below it And he looked up at the bellrope And the notice below it And the more he looked at the bellrope The more he felt that he'd seen something like it Somewhere else Some time before Handsome bellrope,

Isn't it?

Said Owl Pooh nodded It reminds me of something,

He said But I can't think what Where did you get it?

I just came across it in the forest It was hanging over a bush And I thought at first somebody lived there So I rang it And nothing happened And then I rang it again Very loudly And it came off in my hand And as nobody seemed to want it I took it home and Owl,

Said Pooh solemnly You made a mistake Somebody did want it Who?

Eeyore My friend Eeyore He was fond of it Fond of it?

Attached to it,

Said Winnie the Pooh sadly So with these words he unhooked it And carried it back to Eeyore And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on In its right place again Eeyore frisked about in the forest Waving his tail so happily That Winnie the Pooh came over all funny And had to hurry home for a little snack Of something to sustain him And wiping his mouth an hour afterwards He sang to himself proudly Who found the tail?

I said Pooh At a quarter to two Only it was a quarter to eleven really I found the tail One day when Christopher Robin And Winnie the Pooh and Piglet Were all talking together Christopher Robin finished the mouthful he was eating And said carelessly I saw a heffalump today Piglet What was it doing?

Asked Piglet Just lumping around,

Said Christopher Robin I don't think it saw me I saw one once,

Said Piglet At least,

I think I did Only perhaps it wasn't So did I,

Said Pooh Wondering what a heffalump was like You don't often see them Said Christopher Robin carelessly Not now,

Said Piglet Not at this time of year,

Said Pooh Then they all talked about something else Until it was time for Pooh and Piglet To go home together At first,

They stomped along the path Which edged the hundred acre wood They didn't say much to each other But when they came to the stream And had helped each other across the stepping stones And were able to walk side by side again Over the heather They began to talk in a friendly way About this and that And Piglet said If you see what I mean,

Pooh And Pooh said It's just what I think myself,

Piglet And Piglet said But on the other hand,

Pooh,

We must remember And Pooh said Quite true,

Piglet Although,

I had forgotten it for the moment And then,

Just as they came to the six pine trees Pooh looked around To see that nobody else was listening And said in a very solemn voice Piglet,

I have decided something What have you decided,

Pooh?

I have decided To catch a heather lump Pooh nodded his head several times as he said this And waited for Piglet to say How?

Or,

Pooh,

You couldn't Or something helpful of that sort But Piglet said nothing The fact was Piglet was wishing that he had thought about it first I shall do it,

Said Pooh After waiting a little longer By means of a trap And it must be a cunning trap So you will have to help me,

Piglet Pooh,

Said Piglet Feeling quite happy again now I will And then he said How shall we do it?

And Pooh said That's just it How?

And then they sat down together to think about it Pooh's first idea was that they should dig a very deep pit And then the heather lump would come along And fall into the pit Why?

Said Piglet Why what?

Said Pooh Why would he fall in?

Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw And said that a heather lump might be walking along Humming a little song And looking up at the sky Wondering if it would rain And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that this was a very good trap But supposing it were raining already Pooh rubbed his nose again And said that he hadn't thought of that And then he brightened up and said that If it were raining already The heather lump would be looking up at the sky Wondering if it would clear up And so he wouldn't see the very deep pit Until he was halfway down When it would be too late Piglet said that now this point had been explained He thought it was a cunning trap Pooh was very proud when he heard this And felt that the heather lump was as good as caught already But there was just one other thing Which he hadn't thought about And it was this Where should they dig the very deep pit?

Piglet said that the best place Would be somewhere where a heather lump was Just before he fell into it Only about a foot further on But then he would see us digging it,

Said Pooh Not if he was looking at the sky He would suspect,

Said Pooh If he happened to look down He thought for a long time And then added sadly It isn't as easy as I thought I suppose that's why heather lumps hardly ever get caught That must be it,

Said Piglet They sighed and got up And when they had taken a few gorse prickles out of themselves They sat down again And all the time Pooh was saying to himself If only I could think of something For he felt sure that a very clever brain Could catch a heather lump If only he knew the right way to go about it Suppose,

He said to Piglet You wanted to catch me How would you do it?

Well,

Said Piglet I should do it like this I should make a trap And I should put a jar of honey in the trap And you would smell it And you would go after it And.

.

.

And I would go in after it,

Said Pooh excitedly Only very carefully So as not to hurt myself And I would get to the jar of honey And I should lick round the edges first of all Pretending that there wasn't any more You know And then I should walk away And think about it a little And then I should come back And start licking in the middle of the jar And then Never mind about that There you would be And there I should catch you Now the first thing to think of is What do heffa-lumps like?

I should think acorns,

Shouldn't you?

I say Wake up,

Pooh Pooh,

Who had gone into a happy dream Woke up with a start And said that honey was a much more trappy thing than acorns Piglet didn't think so And they were just going to argue about it When Piglet remembered that If they put acorns in the trap He would have to find the acorns But if they put honey Then Pooh would have to give up some of his own honey So he said All right,

Honey then Just as Pooh remembered it too And was going to say All right,

Acorns Honey,

Said Piglet to himself In a thoughtful way As if it were now settled I'll dig the pit While you go and get the honey Very well,

Said Pooh As he stumped off As soon as he got home He went to the larder And he stood on a chair And took down a very large jar of honey From the top of the shelf It had honey written on it But just to make sure He took off the paper cover And looked at it And it looked just like honey But you never can tell,

Said Pooh I remember my uncle saying once That he had seen cheese just this colour So he put his tongue in And took a large lick Yes,

He said It is No doubt about that And honey,

I should say Right down to the bottom of the jar Unless,

Of course,

He said Somebody put cheese at the bottom Just for a joke Perhaps I had better go a little further Just in case In case heffalumps don't like cheese Same as me Then he gave a deep sigh I was right It is honey Right the way down Having made certain of this He took the jar back to Piglet And Piglet looked up from the bottom Of his very deep pit And said Got it?

And Pooh said Yes,

But it isn't quite a full jar And he threw it down to Piglet And Piglet said No,

It isn't Is that all you've got left?

And Pooh said Yes So Piglet put the jar at the bottom of the pit And climbed out And they went off home together Well,

Goodnight Pooh Said Piglet When they had got to Pooh's house And we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning By the pine trees And see how many heffalumps we've got in our trap Six o'clock,

Piglet And have you got any string?

No?

Why do you want string?

To lead them home with Oh I think heffalumps come if you whistle Some do Some don't You never can tell with heffalumps Well,

Goodnight Goodnight And off Piglet trotted to his house While Pooh made his preparations for bed Some hours later Just as the night was beginning to steal away Pooh woke up suddenly With a sinking feeling He had had that sinking feeling before And he knew what it meant He was hungry So he went to the larder And he stood on a chair And reached up to the top shelf And found Nothing That's funny,

He thought I know I had a jar of honey there A full jar Full of honey Right up to the top And it had honey written on it So that I should know it was honey That's very funny Then he began to wander up and down Wondering where it was And murmuring a murmur to himself Like this It's very,

Very funny Cos I know I had some honey Cos it had a label on Saying honey A galoptuous full up pot too And I don't know where it's got to No,

I don't know where it's gone Well,

It's funny He had murmured this to himself three times In a singing sort of way When suddenly he remembered He had put it into the cunning trap To catch the heffalump Oh bother,

Said Poo It all comes from trying to be kind To heffalumps And he got back into bed But he couldn't sleep The more he tried to sleep The more he couldn't He tried counting sheep Which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep And as that was no good He tried counting heffalumps And that was worse Because every heffalump that he counted Was making straight for the pot of Poo's honey And eating it all For some minutes he lay there miserably But when the 587th heffalump was licking its jaws And saying to itself Very good honey this I don't know when I've tasted better Poo could bear it no longer He jumped out of bed He ran out of the house And he ran straight to the six pine trees The sun was still in bed But there was a lightness in the sky Over the hundred acre wood Which seemed to show that it was waking up And would soon be kicking off the clothes In the half light The pine trees looked cold and lonely And the very deep pit seemed deeper than it was And Poo's jar of honey at the bottom Was something mysterious A shape And no more But as he got nearer to it His nose told him that it was indeed honey And his tongue came out And began to polish up his mouth ready for it Bother said Poo As he got his nose inside the jar A heffalump has been eating it And then he thought a little and said Oh no I did I forgot Indeed he had eaten most of it But there was a little left At the very bottom of the jar And he pushed his head right in And began to lick By and by Piglet woke up As soon as he woke He said to himself Oh And then he said Yes And then still more bravely Quite so But he didn't feel very brave For the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain Was heffalumps What was a heffalump like?

Was it fierce?

Did it come when he whistled?

And how did it come?

Was it fond of pigs at all?

If it was fond of pigs Did it make a difference what sort of pig?

Supposing it was fierce with pigs Would it make any difference If the pig had a grandfather Called Trespassers William?

He did not know the answer to any of these questions And he was going to see his first heffalump In about an hour from now Of course Pooh would be with him And it was much more friendly with two But suppose Heffalumps were very fierce With pigs and bears Wouldn't it be better To pretend that he had a headache And couldn't go up to the six pine trees this morning?

But then suppose That it was a very fine day And there was no heffalump in the trap Here he would be In bed all morning Simply wasting his time for nothing What should he do?

And then he had a clever idea He would go up very quietly To the six pine trees now Peep very cautiously into the trap And see if there was a heffalump there And if there was He would go back to bed And if there wasn't He wouldn't So off he went At first He thought that there wouldn't be a heffalump in the trap And then he thought that there would And as he got nearer He was sure that there would Because he could hear it heffalumping about Like anything Oh dear,

Oh dear,

Oh dear Said Piglet to himself And now he wanted to run away But somehow Having got so near He felt that he must just see What a heffalump was like So he crept to the side of the trap And looked in And all the time Winnie the Pooh Had been trying to get the honey jar Off his head The more he shook it The more tightly it stuck Father,

He said Inside the jar And Oh help And mostly Ow And he tried bumping it against things But He couldn't see what he was bumping it against And it didn't help him And he tried to climb out of the trap But he could see nothing but jar And not much of that He couldn't find his way So at last He lifted up his head Jar and all And made a loud roaring noise Of sadness and despair And it was at that moment That Piglet looked down Help Help Cried Piglet A heffalump A horrible heffalump And he scarpered off as hard as he could Still crying out Help Help A horrible heffalump A horrible hoffalump Huff Huff A hellable horrorlump Hull Hull A huffable hellerump And he didn't stop crying and scampering Until he got to Christopher Robin's house Whatever is the matter Piglet?

Said Christopher Robin He was just getting up Heff Heff Said Piglet Breathing so hard That he could hardly speak A heff A heff A heffalump Where Up there Said Piglet Waving his paw Well what did it look like?

Like Like It had the biggest head you ever saw Christopher Robin A great enormous thing Like Like nothing A huge big well Like a I don't know Like an enormous big nothing Like a jar Well said Christopher Robin Putting on his shoes I shall go and look at it Come on Piglet wasn't afraid If he had Christopher Robin with him So off they went I can hear it Can you?

Said Piglet anxiously As they got near I can hear something Said Christopher Robin It was Pooh Bumping his head against a tree root he had found There Said Piglet Isn't it awful?

And he held on tight to Christopher Robin's hand Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh He laughed And he laughed And he laughed And while he was still laughing Crash went the heffalump's head Against the tree root Smash went the jar And out came Pooh's head again Then Piglet saw what a foolish Piglet he had been And he was so ashamed of himself That he ran straight off home And went to bed with a headache But Christopher Robin and Pooh Followed Piglet home And made him a special breakfast And told him that he didn't need to be ashamed at all And that they both love him very much