Releasing Someone Who Has Hurt You

There are those people who we feel inexorably connected to, no matter the separation. This is especially prevalent in instances of emotional abuse and codependency. This practise allows us to release the strings connecting us to a person who has caused us pain.

“I sometimes have a feeling ... as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame.” ~ Bronte, Jane Eyre

Transcript

There are those particular relationships that cling to us that seem to hold tendrils even after we think that we're moved on or that we have power over them or that it's in the past.

Emotional abuse and codependency are factors that contribute to this.

They are relationships that are complicated and difficult and take a very long time to heal from.

And these people,

They have a sway,

They have a power,

And I've come to call this lunar pull.

It's like the effect that the moon has on the tides.

There's no obvious connection,

Nothing that you can see,

And yet what the moon does completely impacts the tides here on Earth.

And so in this practice,

What we're going to do is look at this lunar pull and we're going to work on detaching.

So start by getting into a comfortable position.

You can be seated,

You can be lying down,

Whatever feels right for you.

And I want you to come into your body.

Take a deep breath,

Following the movement of air in and out of your body.

Feel the parts of your body that are in contact with the ground or the bed or the cushion or whatever it is that you're on.

Feel your weight against the Earth.

Continue following your breath and feeling your body against the Earth.

And when it feels safe,

Call to mind that person who has these lingering tendrils out to you.

Imagine them standing however far away from you that feels safe.

If you need there to be other people present,

If you need there to be sound,

Do whatever makes sense for you to feel empowered and to feel safe from this person.

I want you to notice what's going on in your body as you see them standing,

Looking at you.

There may be fear,

There may be pain,

Heartbreak,

There may be longing,

There may be grief.

Notice the emotions that are coming up for you and notice where they are in the body.

Are they at your heart,

Your stomach,

Your mind?

Where are these feelings located?

And as you experience whatever emotions are coming up for you,

Just know that it's okay.

Know that it's normal,

That it's not forever,

That these emotions are part of this experience.

And that you're safe here doing work that you need to do.

Now that you've located where the emotion is occurring in your body,

I want you to imagine tiny little threads,

Almost like spiderweb threads running from that part of your body to the other person in the same part of their body.

Just tiny,

Tiny little threads,

Translucent and sparkling in the light.

The stronger your emotion,

The more tendrils you will imagine.

The lesser your emotion,

The less little tendrils that you'll have.

Now I want you to imagine reaching and grabbing these tendrils.

Do that with your hand,

Reach out to where they are in your body,

In front of you,

And grab them,

Grab at them,

Pull at them.

You're going to notice that they don't break this way.

They stretch and they pull back,

They stretch and they pull back.

Fighting against these tendrils is not the way to get rid of them.

I want you to open your hand and stretch it out in front of you,

Representing allowing these tendrils.

Now I want you to imagine that you reach into your pocket and you pull out a beautiful pair of antique scissors.

They're ornate,

They're silver with gold filigree,

They're incredibly beautiful.

I want you to look at the scissors and notice them,

Admire their beauty.

Now I want you to take them into your hand,

I want you to take the first little tiny tendril and I want you to cut it with those scissors.

As you cut it,

Imagine the tendril flying back and away from you,

Again like a spider web into the air.

As you cut each little tendril,

Just say,

I release you,

I release you,

I release you.

And imagine the tendrils flying back into the air and watch their beauty,

Watch the translucence in the light.

I release you,

I'm letting you go.

I release you,

I release you.

And just notice that as we do this,

The emotion may go down or it may go up or it may stay the same and that's okay.

The point here isn't to get rid of the pain,

The point here is to allow for this release,

To mourn,

To be angry,

To have whatever feelings are associated with separating from this person.

And so allow your emotions to be there,

Knowing that you're safe,

You're here in this moment.

If you start to feel yourself getting really,

Really upset,

Come back to your body,

Ground yourself again,

Feeling your weight in the ground,

Feeling your body against the earth.

If you're okay,

Keep doing the work,

Keep imagining snipping each tendril and saying,

I release you,

I release you.

Now I want you to notice that those tendrils that you've cut that are close to your body,

They have started to come back towards your body and mat together.

And I want you to notice that they are forming a beautiful piece of armor.

It almost looks like Mother of Pearl as each tendril is cut back,

It pulls back into your body and protects that place where that emotion was,

Protects that place that was maybe a little bit vulnerable to this other person.

I want you to look down and I want you to see that plate of Mother of Pearl.

Imagine its carvings and how beautiful it is,

How strong it is made from these incredible tendrils that can only be broken by these scissors.

Notice that this is a protection.

This will keep you safe.

And as you continue to do the work of releasing,

Of cutting each tendril,

Your armor will only go stronger,

More beautiful,

More intricate.

Take the scissors in your hand and put them back into your pocket.

There may be more tendrils for you to cut and you can come back and do that at any time.

These scissors are always in your pocket.

They're always here for you when you need to release.

Take your hand out of your pocket and rest it on your armor,

Wherever that place is in your body.

And notice a warmth,

A reinforcement that exists there now.

Notice the power and the strength that has been brought to this area.

Now come back into your body.

Let go of the imagining of the other person.

Let go of the entire vision.

And come back into your body.

Feel yourself against the earth.

If you're having any kind of strong emotion,

Feel your body against the earth.

Push yourself against the earth.

Open and close your hand.

Come into your body.

You're safe.

You're here with me.

Take a deep breath,

Following the air in and out.

Come back into the room.

Open your eyes and look around and tell yourself,

I am here.

I am safe.

I am here in this room doing this work with Alison.

Take one more deep breath.

And take your next step forward.

Thank you.

Reviews

Very helpful visualization. Breaking things off with my fiancé has been brutal. Love is still present. I carry my imaginary scissors with me and get them out when I feel drawn to reconnect or get caught in a thought loop.

❤️❤️ So much relief! I feel deeply cleansed on a spiritual level and free to feel whatever it is in a safe space. Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you so much. I was not expecting the emotional release I had. I am holding on to so much that I wasn’t even aware of… I will definitely be returning to this again 🙏🏻❤️

Incredibly powerful, i really needed this thank you

This was an excellent meditation with meaningful visualization for those that have been deeply hurt my someone.

With gratitude!

My heart is light, my eyes can see clearly, I can breathe and speak, I am free. Thank you 🙏

I’m glad to have found this meditation practice 🕸️✂️ It was very emotional for me just coming into their presence. I attached our hand because other obvious parts seemed too painful. I’ll keep trying, especially after being triggered. tysm🙏🏼

AMW
Thank you for your acumen...
wow.
Beautiful work here.

Christine
High Desert Sierra

Wow! Unexpected intense emotion came up. This was a good process for me.

Really powerful and felt authentic and very personal with Alison hearing her breathing and better without the background music as I felt she was in the room with me 🙏

Really helped as I have been living in the past. Thank you

What a beautiful and supportive meditation. Thank you. It was so helpful in the process of releasing.

Very informative and such a soothing voice to go with it.♥️🌺💖🌸🥰

This made me let go more. Very calming! Thank you🙏🏻

Thankyou Alison 🌻🌼🌼

That was absolutely amazing. I feel safe and calm. Thank you so very much ❤️🙏

Cord cutting is so powerful. Thank you for this release. Beautiful voice. 🙏🏼

Thank you Alison

🙏❤️

This is really helping me. I have listened twice now and will keep coming back. Thank you.