Finding Clarity For Your Next Chapter

In this solo episode today I want to talk about what your next chapter looks like.

And I was inspired by recording this episode because this morning I went to the hairdresser and I was reflecting on this because often what happens is people just have this you know,

Haircut or a change in their look when something changed in their life.

So often we feel the inner shift first before you can see it on the outside as well.

So,

For example,

Last year before I moved to Australia,

I felt like,

Oh,

I have been thinking about changing my hair color for a long time,

But I always felt a little bit scared.

I was like,

Oh,

What if I don't like it?

And last year I was like,

You know what?

I'm going to move across the world.

This is the perfect time to just give it a try and try out a new look.

You And today I just did a little bit of a retouch,

So not a big change.

But it's just an example of sometimes,

You know,

When we go through a different chapter in our life,

Whether it's a move across the world,

Whether it's a relationship change,

A career change,

Whatever it might be,

Often people also change their look afterwards.

And that's just a change on the outside.

But what is much more interesting is the change we feel on the inside.

So what I want to talk about with you today is this phase that we're often in,

Before this inner shift happens and before it is reflected on the outside.

And often you can call this the in-between phase.

And what this phase means is that you're basically,

You feel that the chapter you're in doesn't really align with you anymore,

But you're not really sure what your next chapter looks like.

So if you think about your life as a book,

You have all these different chapters that you've gone through already.

What I just said,

You had like a relationship chapter,

A job chapter,

A career chapter,

A travel chapter,

And usually all those chapters are mixed,

Right?

It's not just different phases,

But they're all intertwined.

But perhaps now you're turning the page.

And you see this blank page before you and you wonder,

Hmm.

What does my next chapter look like?

And often what happens when we think about this,

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves and we wonder,

Okay,

I have to come up with something.

I have to have some direction in my life because otherwise it's quite meaningless,

Right?

So what happens is we're going to force ourselves to find answers.

And it usually doesn't work like that.

Because then we can actually really feel stuck.

Because when we try to force ourselves to find answers,

We're going often in this loop of,

Okay,

What do I want to do?

And we focus a lot on what we want to do in our life.

Instead of who we want to be.

So I want you to really reflect on that for a moment and ask yourself,

Instead of what do I want to do in this next chapter?

Ask yourself,

Who do I want to be in this next chapter?

Because eventually we are a human being,

Not a human doing,

Right?

So it's much more interesting to ask yourself,

Who do I want to become in this new chapter?

And once you start tuning into that,

Then you will find out the steps you can take and the things you might be want to be doing to become that next version of yourself or to step into that next chapter.

But it's almost really to flip this switch and go from doing to being.

So it's a really beautiful way to have this moment of inner reflection,

To pause and to really listen to yourself for a moment.

Because often what we do is we try to rush things.

We try to find answers.

We just feel like we have to be doing something all the time.

And usually that's not where you find the answers.

Often when we tune inwards,

When we feel that inner shift happening,

That's when we can find and see the results on the outside.

Another thing that I want to mention about this example of staring at this blank page and not knowing what your next chapter would look like.

Often we make this very big.

We feel like we have to have our whole life figured out when we don't know what we want to do or who we want to be.

But instead of thinking about a five-year plan or 10-year plan,

Why don't you think about just writing the first words or the first sentence or perhaps the first paragraph on that page?

And then the rest will flow from there.

It's the same when you're reading a book,

Right?

When you start a book,

You don't know how it's going to end yet.

So you just keep on discovering more while you read through the pages.

And that's the same with your life.

You don't know what's going to happen in a month from now,

A year from now,

10 years from now.

The only thing that you know is the moment that you have right in front of you.

So focus on that.

And besides that.

Something you can also do that really has helped me in my journey as well when I was too focused on what I wanted to be doing is actually to dive a little bit deeper into that.

For example,

If you think about,

OK,

I want to move abroad,

For example.

What is actually underneath that?

What are you looking for?

Because yes,

The action is moving abroad,

But what is it that you're looking for when you do that?

Do you feel like you want more freedom in your life,

More adventure?

Do you feel like you want a different environment?

What is actually happening underneath.

The same when you feel like,

Oh,

I want a new job.

Okay,

What is it exactly what you're looking for?

I don't mean the specific job.

What do you hope to get out of that?

Are you looking for more purpose or meaning in your life or more fulfillment?

Or do you feel like the place you're working in right now is very toxic?

So you're looking for A place that is better for your mental health.

So it's really asking yourself those deeper questions,

Because that can really help you to figure out what it is that you want.

And often we don't take the time to ask ourselves those questions,

Because then what often happens is,

Okay,

We take a step,

But because we didn't really ask ourselves the layers underneath.

Sometimes in the process we get stuck because we just wonder,

Okay,

Why did I want this again?

Because of course,

With every change we make,

There will be obstacles.

So.

.

.

For example,

Now as well in my life abroad and every time that I moved countries,

There are challenges,

Right?

And sometimes you wonder,

Okay,

Did I.

.

.

Take the right step.

Should I stay?

Did I make a mistake?

Should I go home?

And then it can really help to tune back into this why.

Why did you move abroad in the first place?

What were you looking for?

And this can really bring you back to the core of that previous decision that you made.

And sometimes you can also realize then,

Okay,

Actually then the life that I'm living right now doesn't align anymore with what I thought I wanted out of this experience.

And that's also a sign for you to make a new change.

And this can be,

Of course,

I used the example of moving and living abroad,

But perhaps you're thinking about changing jobs.

And I know so many people and myself included in the past.

Who stayed in a job they didn't like.

But they were just like,

Well.

OK,

I don't like it,

But I don't know what else to do.

So at least now I know what I have,

Even though I don't like it.

And perhaps you recognize this as well in your life,

Perhaps it's related to a job,

Or perhaps it's something else that you feel like,

Well,

I'm not really happy with my current life right now,

With a certain situation in my life.

But in a way it's comfortable because thinking about What I don't want is easier than to think about what I do want.

So I just stay in this situation that I don't really want,

But at least I don't have to think about what I do want and take scary steps to make that happen.

But if you really think about that.

Then you just stay in this situation that's not aligned.

And it's not really comfort,

Right?

Because you're not happy with it.

So I would almost say it's like a fake comfort.

And basically,

You're just wasting.

A part of your life,

I would say.

And I know that sounds harsh,

Perhaps,

But.

If you really think about it,

If you stay in a situation that doesn't fulfill you,

Of course,

Sometimes we have to do what we have to do,

Right?

It's like sometimes we have to go through a certain phase,

But then we're working towards something else.

But I'm really talking about this example of staying in this phase that you know it's not good for you,

But you're just not making any changes.

And I think that's really a waste of time.

Your potential and what could be possible in your life.

So.

.

.

I think this is also in that sense an invitation for you to really reflect on Okay,

Are there things that I want to change that I perhaps have been putting off that I feel like I know I want to make these changes,

But maybe I'm just holding myself back because I don't know what is on the other side.

Then let's also focus on what you do want and really tune into that and really focus on who you want to become in this new chapter.

And instead of focusing on on the fear that may come with that chapter,

Focus on everything you can get out of it.

To become the fulfillment,

The excitement,

The adventure,

The sense of freedom,

Whatever it might be for you,

And really tune into that.

And then you will see that you don't need to take crazy big steps to make change happen.

As I said before,

When you have this blank page in front of you,

It starts with writing down the first word.

Or even the first letter,

And that's how it starts.

And then the sentence will develop itself,

And then the paragraph,

And then the whole new chapter will be discovered,

Right?

So that's what I wanted to share with you today,

Really about this question,

What does your next chapter look like?

If you felt inspired by this or if you had any insight,

I would love to hear from you.

And thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next one.