The Three Elements of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion we're gonna be learning about and practicing self-compassion today.

Self-compassion is used quite often.

And often.

Sort of put on top of us that this is what we need to do.

That we need to be self-compassionate.

We need to be compassionate yet.

My experience,

It is a quite difficult concept to grasp.

And maybe even a more difficult practice to have.

Hence today,

I'd like to make.

The topic of self-compassion.

Compassion.

Bows.

Understood conceptually.

And experientially.

And the way I'd like us to start is by.

.

.

Understanding the three main components of compassion.

And I'm also going to be using the body and the hands.

To support us in remembering these three components.

And I invite you as well.

To to follow.

The movements.

Because what I've learned is it is a lot more easier to remember this if we actually involve the body.

The first part of Being compassionate,

The first part of self compassion.

Is mindfulness.

And we can put our hands on the head.

Or around the mind to remember that the first thing is mindfulness.

I need to be mindful.

To start with compassion,

Self-compassion.

Now yes,

Some of us are born,

Are raised to be just generally more compassionate.

However,

We can always deepen,

Strengthen.

Broaden that compassion if we're more mindful.

So the first component is we need to become aware.

We need to be aware What needs compassion?

What needs self-compassion,

What needs compassion in the world.

We need to be aware of.

Suffering.

We need to be aware that.

.

.

We suffer,

That humanity suffers,

That individuals suffer.

Now this is a bit different than difficulties because we all experience difficulties,

We all experience unpleasant emotions,

Fear,

Anger,

Sadness,

And we all experience pain.

That is a given,

That is a fact.

Is when The mind.

Makes that more than it really is.

That it elongates the process,

That it intensifies the process.

That's where we have suffering.

For example.

I Injure my hand.

It's painful.

It's unpleasant.

There's emotions around that.

There's an immediate physical sensation,

Emotional sensation around the pain in the hand.

Yet the mind can come in.

And create more suffering.

More of what's happening can extend it.

Oh no,

What's going to happen next?

How long is this going to last?

Oh,

I'm not going to be able to do X,

Y,

And Z anymore.

Oh,

The world's out to get me.

Oh,

Everything's unfair.

Oh,

I deserve this.

And on and on and on.

And from the immediate.

Pain,

Discomfort,

We can suffer.

For a lot longer.

The first part of compassion and being self-compassionate is to be aware.

Is to be mindful of.

How?

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Emotions,

Impulses,

Reactions,

Stimuli,

All this stuff works.

We have to be aware of.

The difference between responding and reacting.

We have to be aware of.

Suffering of pain.

The biochemical reactions of being human.

So that's the first part.

And We need to notice the suffering.

We need to notice that moment by moment.

Okay,

So we have mindfulness as the first part.

The second part is common humanity.

Common humanity,

Putting the hands out to express common humanity.

That we all share.

This moment.

That we all live on this planet.

And that we all that we all experience.

What I mentioned before.

The pain,

The discomfort,

The problems,

The obstacles,

And so forth.

That you aren't the only one that's experiencing a bad day,

A bad moment.

That someone has it a lot worse.

And someone can have it a lot better at any given moment.

Common humanity is that you're not alone.

And common humanity is also that.

We're not doing this alone.

We can leverage.

Humanity,

That we could leverage the goodness,

That we could leverage others to support us.

Mindfulness,

Common humanity.

We connect on a human level.

In the spirit of compassion.

Self-compassion.

So we have mindfulness.

We have common humanity.

And the last component.

As I put the hands on the heart or the heart center.

The last component is.

.

.

Kindness.

Kindness.

I need to act.

On what I became aware of.

Of the common humanity of suffering.

With kindness.

This is taking action.

And sometimes non-action is a form of action,

Taking action to alleviate the suffering.

To support.

The person,

The being that's going through suffering.

I am.

Taking sometimes more Yin actions.

That's softer.

That's more held back.

That could be.

A softer voice of support,

Some self-compassion touch.

Or it can be more Yang style action.

Where I'm fighting,

I'm working with lots of energy,

I'm putting lots of effort into alleviating the suffering.

We have Mindfulness.

First component of compassion,

Self-compassion.

Then we have common humanity,

Understanding we're not alone in.

.

.

The suffering,

And then we act to heal.

Alleviate that.

With kindness.

Let's practice this.

For the next few minutes.

Entering a intentional posture,

Position,

Time where you're going to be practicing.

You can decide.

How that looks like,

You might be still,

You might be moving,

Eyes open,

Eyes closed.

This practice around compassion,

Self-compassion.

First step.

First component.

Is practicing some mindfulness.

Is bringing the attention to this present moment.

This moment that you're in.

With openness,

With curiosity,

With care,

And becoming aware of what this moment is like.

What thoughts?

With feelings,

Sensations,

Impulses.

Are arising in your experience.

And the invitation is to.

Is to focus on.

Where there might be some.

Discomfort.

Pain.

A problem.

The mind creating suffering.

Paying attention to it with curiosity and care,

Holding it gently in your awareness.

Now step two.

Step two is common humanity.

And we can expand.

The attention.

Become more aware of.

The shared common experience.

Of difficulties,

Of suffering.

That you're not alone.

Experiencing something good.

Unpleasant right now.

And that.

There's many,

Many people.

That are here to help and support.

Whether that's a meditation teacher in the moment.

Or someone,

Something else.

And now.

Moving into the third step or component.

Acting with kindness.

To what we became aware of.

And here it can be as simple as.

Literally placing the hands.

On.

The heart center.

Or on the shoulder.

As a gesture of self-compassion,

Of being held and supported.

Bringing kindness into maybe a deeper,

Longer breath,

Breathing with.

The difficulty.

May be saying.

Some kind Thoughts?

Like I don't have to like this,

It's here already.

And this too shall pass.

Or I know what I have to do.

I'm open to receiving support,

Whatever it might be.

Maybe it can be an intention.

That I will take action.

At another point in time.

And sometimes.

Not needing to do anything can be an act.

Of compassion.

In a world where we're always doing,

Getting,

Striving,

Going.

Maybe just taking a few moments to be.

Can be an act of kindness.

And at a certain point.

Knowing you can stay longer in this.

If you'd like.

Shifting.

The attention.

Back to body.

Maybe breath,

Maybe space around you.

Beginning the transition of ending.

Or practice around.

Compassion.

And or self-compassion.

Remembering the three components.

Mindfulness.

Common humanity.

And kindness.

And I thank you all for being here.

For practicing.

Wishing you lots and lots of.

.

.

Practice with self-compassion and kindness.

All the best.