My name is Larissa.
We're going to practice together for about 30 minutes.
As always,
Just a little bit of time to spend with yourself and just a reminder to check in with your body first and foremost.
It's how we always begin.
You might already be situated into your meditation posture.
A reminder just to check in moment by moment and even day by day.
Your most familiar posture.
You might know exactly how you like to sit and the exact cushion you have.
Just noticing right now in this moment,
Do I have the right amount of support?
Just a little wiggle of your torso can help you settle in a little deeper.
You might stretch out your arms.
You might take a big deep breath,
Make a neck roll,
Make a wrist roll.
Just take a few moments to feel into your body.
You're,
Of course,
Welcome at any point to close your eyes or just simply set your gaze downward.
Let your eyes be soft behind soft eyelids.
Our eyes do such an excellent job of taking in information,
Being vigilant about what's happening within our surroundings.
And so when we close our eyes,
Sometimes we bring that same vigilance to our inner world.
And just reminding yourself,
I can soften any vigilance right now.
The closing of your eyes is a form of your body telling your mind,
I'm in a safe enough space.
I can actually just close my eyes for a moment.
I don't need to be so vigilant.
And we can appreciate that vigilance as much as we can allow it to soften.
There's nothing we need to get rid of or put away.
And just spending a little time here,
Slowly landing,
Settling in.
And as our body slows,
You've set aside time to be still with yourself.
You don't have a particular responsibility to take care of in the next 10 seconds.
So your body is taking care of all the responsibilities of now.
Your heart is beating.
Your breath is moving through you.
Your lungs and your blood are processing all the oxygen.
There's not a single thing you need to think about in that process.
Your body is just doing it.
Because this is true,
We can start to witness,
What is my mind doing?
What is my mind trying to take care of right now?
Very often,
The thoughts we think are repetitive.
And we can start to notice.
So where are my thoughts headed?
Oh,
I'm noticing a pattern with that.
Some days,
It's a future orientation.
Some days,
It's a dullness or a sleepiness.
Some days,
It's just a stillness.
And there's an ease.
And we just have a random flow of thoughts coming and going.
And there's nothing good or bad about any of it.
You're just witnessing it.
Maybe just take a moment to consider,
Is there a pattern I'm noticing?
Sometimes naming it can help remove it from being a quote-unquote distraction.
It's like,
Oh yeah,
I'm future planning today.
I've got a big thing upcoming.
Okay,
That's happening.
It might be a particular emotion that's coming,
A particular story in your mind.
Oh,
I'm telling myself that story again.
I'm feeling a lot of grief,
A lot of excitement.
Just take a moment to check in with yourself and name.
How is it that I'm feeling?
Labeling a particular thought pattern,
Labeling a feeling.
And not to box yourself in,
Just to recognize it.
Just bring some curiosity to this inquiry for a few moments.
And as you notice,
Name in your mind what it is that you're feeling or noticing.
Invitation to come to your body now.
Where do I feel this in my body?
So we tend to have these little energy pockets,
These little coils,
These little springs of energy,
And they form different tensile points in our body.
And sometimes there's the tension of holding something into your body.
And it can be something like holding in a laugh in a moment where you probably shouldn't be laughing.
Or it might be the tension of holding back something you wish you would have said.
It might be the tension of the spring of energy exploded,
And you said something externally that you wish you wouldn't have said.
So sometimes our voice gets stuck in these little energy springs inside our body.
I wish I would have said something.
I wish I would not have said that.
And our mind can spiral out,
And we get stuck with these little coils of energy in our body.
And so here in our meditation,
We're just witnessing our mind again and again and again,
But giving our mind permission to rest.
You know what?
I don't need to tell myself that story again.
Where do I feel it in my body?
Is there some little coil of energy that when I direct my kind attention towards it,
It can just soften?
Sometimes we have these old energy springs that they've been coiled for so long,
They're rusted over,
And they're just tight.
And when we notice these little pockets within our body,
We can start to tend to them.
Sometimes it's a matter of just shining your kind attention on it.
Your inner vision illuminates the soft little area.
Like,
Oh yeah,
There was a little tension in my jaw,
And just witnessing it softens it.
Sometimes it needs a little more attention.
Like,
Oh yeah,
That's a lot of feeling.
That's a lot of sensation.
Maybe at some point I want to journal about that because my mind is having a hard time putting it down.
But right now,
Can I just unhook from the thoughts for a moment and witness the feeling in my body?
And allow every single exhale to awash me with softness.
It's quite literally physiologically,
Every exhale is a softening of our accessory breathing muscles.
Our diaphragm softens when we exhale.
So all of the tensile qualities of our muscles are invited to soften every single time we exhale.
Can you invite that in for a moment here?
Just watching the fullness of your inhale.
There's a spaciousness that's created,
Sometimes even a stretching sensation when you deep enough.
And then watch how your body naturally softens when you exhale.
And invite that into any of those little coiled up energy pockets.
You're of course welcome to make a neck roll,
Make an adjustment in your physical form,
But also notice how just your breath alone can invite in the softening.
Just continue to cultivate your ability to notice your breath.
Can you breathe deep enough that you almost feel a stretching sensation across your abdomen,
Across your chest?
And invite in the luxury of relaxation when you exhale.
And it's not some luxury that we need to buy into.
It's not some luxury that we have to prove ourselves worthy of.
It's just existing right here in the present moment,
And it's freely available for all to receive.
Just witness again your breath.
Notice how your mind will enrapture you.
Oh yeah,
I'm so thinking.
There's thinking happening.
Here is my breath.
Here is the wisdom of my body just present,
Showing me where these little coils of energy live.
And I have this opportunity to allow a softening.
I don't have to figure anything out right now.
Just witness how my body softens as I exhale.
Invite that in.
Notice again your breath.
Expansive and soft.
Let it relieve any coils of tension in your body.
You don't have to think your way through it.
Let the wisdom of your body express itself through your breath.
Expansion and relaxation.
Spaciousness and softness with every single breath.
As you strengthen your ability to witness your breath,
It strengthens your concentration.
And not the kind of concentration that's almost stolen from us,
Where we get caught in an anxiety loop,
And the anxiety is now controlling us.
It's this idea that we're not surrendering to a thought or an emotion,
But we're surrendering our control over these things.
Because in reality,
We cannot control what thought comes and goes.
We can only witness them.
And then through the witnessing,
We start to create greater choice.
I'm going to choose to unhook from this thought.
The more we try to resist by controlling,
The more that energy of the thought or the emotion persists.
And that's something that happened,
Some phrase that I've heard in yoga many times over the years,
In yoga and Buddhism and meditation circles.
What you resist persists.
And this idea of holding everything,
Not holding it tightly,
Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,
But to hold with an open heart and an open hand everything that arrives within your inner landscape as you sit and witness yourself.
And when we can surrender to the present moment,
I'm surrendering everything to the present moment.
Every single time I exhale.
It's not the surrender of giving up.
It's not the surrender of,
Oh man,
This heaviness,
This depression,
This loneliness is weighing so heavy on me,
It's overtaking me,
And I feel that I'm drowning.
And now I'm surrendering to it.
What I'm surrendering is this idea that I can control it.
There's a really beautiful piece of a Hafiz poem.
It's a beautiful 14th century poet.
He said,
Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it land more deeply.
Let it ferment and season you.
Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,
That my need of connection becomes absolutely clear.
Again,
He says,
Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.
We're not surrendering to loneliness,
But we're also not surrendering our loneliness in order to push it away.
We are surrendering the control.
I'm not allowing my thoughts to control me because I'm witnessing them.
But I'm also not desiring,
I need to control this,
I need to fix it,
I need to figure it out.
So instead of gripping with a tight fist,
We flip our open palm up and say to our loneliness,
Our anxiety,
Our frustration,
Our anger,
I can hold you.
This fear that those emotions,
Those thoughts are going to wash over us and drown us,
It starts to shift because we can see the expansion of our wholeness.
You can see the bigness of my inhale creating space.
And now all of a sudden I'm cradling my loneliness in my open arms and witnessing it.
I'm surrendering control and I'm trying to push you away and now I'm just holding you.
And in that way I can hold it tenderly,
Everything that comes,
Instead of being afraid it's going to drown me and I try to push it away or I try to stuff it down within me.
Here is our emotional wisdom.
It's not our mind trying to figure everything out and think our way through things.
It's our body's spaciousness,
Recognizing I can hold this for a moment.
When I follow that anxious thought,
It feels overwhelming.
But when I unhook from the thought and ask where do I feel this in my body,
There becomes that moment of spaciousness that I can hold myself tenderly,
Even if it's just for the half second of my exhale.
Just noticing again how is it that I'm feeling now.
Sometimes there's a lot of neutrality in our meditation.
There isn't a big emotion or a gripping thought that's coming.
And so we practice here the steady openness so that we can receive those waves when they do come in our lives.
So watch again the spaciousness of your inhale.
Now your body naturally responds with relaxation as you exhale.
And it's in this way that we build our resilience.
I don't have to fix anything.
I don't have to figure out why this feeling is here.
I can receive it for a moment.
I can hold it tenderly.
I can surrender my need to try to control it,
Fix it,
Stuff it down.
And in that surrender,
The openness of my heart and my hand,
I'm just holding myself with gentleness.
And then like waves coming and going,
Here's my breath in and out,
Expanding and softening,
Spacious and restful.
And then I can start to witness my thoughts in that same way,
Just coming and going.
A little bit of space between each one.
That space sometimes expands into these moments of neutrality.
And we're just truly witnessing the present moment without judgment.
Just holding whatever comes with an open palm.
One breath at a time.
Anytime a thought becomes a little sticky,
It's hard to let go of.
Come back to your body.
Almost always there's some tension that has crept in,
And now you get to tend to it.
And then witness again your breath,
Spacious and soft,
With every breath in and out.
And as we work with our thoughts,
Our emotions,
The spaciousness that starts to come as we meditate.
It's this reminder that everything is showing up for a reason.
There's nothing we ever need to push away or fix or hide.
It's every emotion that lands in your body is just telling you something.
It's asking to be tended to.
And when we witness,
Oh,
I'm stuck in a thought loop.
I've had this thought a million times.
You have this tool of returning to your body.
Where do I feel it in my body?
I don't have to fix the thought with another thought.
Let me just tend to my body in this moment.
Remember too that every emotion,
Every experience is an opportunity to learn about yourself.
I'll share again this Hafiz poem.
Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it land more deeply.
Let it ferment and season you as few human or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,
And my need of connection becomes absolutely clear.
And then just connecting with your physical form again,
Taking your hands over your heart,
Maybe palms together like a form of gratitude,
Just placing your hands in any of your own closing habits or practices,
Contacting yourself with your own two hands,
Holding yourself tenderly for a moment,
Reminding yourself,
I can hold whatever comes.
I don't need to grip it tightly.
I don't need to push it away.
I can take these open palms in this open heart and hold whatever comes.
We'll end with a few loving kindness phrases,
Just repeating them back as they make sense for you.
May I trust myself to hold whatever comes.
May I be gentle with myself as I hold.
May I hold everything with an open palm and open heart.
When action is needed,
May I choose to move with ease and peace.
And may the merits of our practice ripple out to benefit all beings.
And go slow if you can,
Find a little movement when you feel complete.
Take a moment to thank yourself as always just for showing up today.
And thank you for being here.
Thank you for supporting each other in our community and our
