Are you experiencing a long-term anger or frustration towards an event or a person?
Are you holding on to negative emotions you should let go of?
All of us,
No matter how filled with bliss your life is,
Have experienced holding on to negative emotions,
Especially anger.
And holding on to anger and other emotions for too long has to do with not being able to forgive.
So today we're looking at the importance of practicing forgiveness.
You will understand that you are not alone on this journey,
That every human being on this planet has been wronged.
And all of us,
Including you,
Can create more happiness in your life by practicing forgiveness.
Today you will start the journey of letting go of your mental baggage and you will learn how to be graceful doing so.
The Dalai Lama said,
If I develop bad feelings towards those who make me suffer,
This will only destroy my own peace of mind.
But if I forgive,
My mind is calm.
It is you who will benefit from practicing forgiveness for others.
And maybe after today you can even thank others for the experience that caused you so much pain.
First of all,
Please understand that when you are forgiving someone else,
It will serve you the most.
Yes,
Receiving forgiveness might have an effect on others,
But the action of forgiving will affect you the most.
So make sure it creeps up on your list of priorities.
Your action of continuously practicing forgiveness elevates your own well-being and state of mind.
You practice forgiveness not just to make someone else feel better.
Now when I talk about forgiving,
I also mean self-forgiveness.
Nobody in this world acts inside their own moral compass all the time.
Most of the time maybe,
But not all of the time.
Also,
Your moral compass,
Your values and ethics usually constantly improve.
Thus,
Chances are likely you look back at some things in your life with slight regret.
Being able to forgive yourself and others for past events is not only healthy but also important.
It is especially important in today's age where everything is being recorded online forever.
So forgive,
Develop,
Grow,
Let go of negative emotions,
Let go of the past and move on.
Furthermore,
About self-forgiveness,
Whenever you forgive someone else for wronging you,
You automatically also forgive yourself.
This is because you have to also forgive yourself for being in a situation with that person in the first place.
You have to forgive yourself for not seeing things clearly ahead of time.
Forgiving others always means forgiving yourself as well.
Now,
When there is something to forgive that happened a long time ago,
Then chances are likely you are holding on to something you should not hold on to anymore.
As a side note,
Having negative feelings towards toxic people does serve you in general because it allows you to avoid these people.
But when still having these feelings months or years later,
They don't serve a purpose anymore,
They then just make you bitter.
So,
Let's truly understand the words holding on and what they actually mean.
These words mean you are not letting go even though you should.
Sometimes that can be obvious.
For example,
Let us say someone cuts in line in front of you.
You say to the person,
Excuse me,
Please don't cut in line and the person answers,
Whatever dude,
Fuck off.
In this example,
It will not serve you to hold on to negative emotions for more than a few minutes.
Your negative emotions have the purpose of distancing yourself from that person and once you have done that,
You should let go.
I understand that in other cases negative emotions allow you to avoid someone toxic for months,
But make sure you are conscious of when negative emotions don't serve you anymore.
As already discussed,
The first sign is that you don't need the emotions anymore to avoid the person.
Another sign is that you have finished communicating your boundaries and already expressed yourself clearly.
Make sure that once your negative emotion has served its purpose,
You start the process of forgiving.
Another reason why holding on to negative emotions is toxic is that it's only you having the emotions.
Also,
After a while you will not express your feelings towards the person who wronged you anymore.
You just keep them in your chest like a treasure.
So even for other people there is no purpose because they cannot learn from your negative emotions that are still lingering.
In general,
When you do express your negative emotions,
Then someone else has the chance to learn something as well because you raise their awareness.
Here is to say that the more time passes,
The less useful expressing your negative emotion becomes.
Forgiveness,
On the other hand,
Never loses its power.
No matter if you forgive today or in 20 years,
It's healthy,
Meaningful and has purpose.
Next,
I would like to invite you to acknowledge the feeling of being hurt.
The feeling of anger is easier to acknowledge for most of us than the feeling of being hurt.
Being hurt is somehow often associated with being weak.
Of course,
Being weak can also be the origin of feeling hurt.
When you don't look after yourself and your mental health is very fragile,
Then you can get hurt by all sorts of stupid things.
But that's not what I want to talk about today.
I want to talk about being hurt even though you're strong,
Which does happen to all of us.
Feeling hurt has its place and feeling hurt can be a healthy experience when it is justified.
So,
Acknowledge being hurt within you and express feeling hurt to others.
Expressing yourself when being hurt is a very healthy outlet and the root of the solution.
If being hurt is not expressed or otherwise digested and worked through,
Then the feeling of anger will sit on top of feeling hurt.
So,
Expressing or dealing with anger is often only a small step.
Acknowledging,
Expressing and dealing with the feeling of being hurt is bigger and often more difficult.
Next,
I would like to mention that forgiving is a process.
It is an art form.
It is a practice.
It is not a single decision.
Forgiving is not something you think or say once and woohoo,
All this forgiven problem solved.
Only a constant practice of forgiving will make you achieve constant freedom from bitterness.
The next point I want to make is that practicing forgiveness will allow you to be present,
To live in the now.
Not forgiving means ultimately that you are reliving feelings of moments that happened in the past.
So,
When you truly practice forgiving,
You free yourself from feelings belonging to the past.
And you can enjoy your life in the very moment.
You can experience your current life to the fullest capacity.
So,
Forgiving means making space to be truly present in the now.
Furthermore,
Through practicing forgiveness,
You will attract positive and mature people into your life.
If you are able to show up without resentment,
Anger or any other bad energies,
Chances are likely that people want to be around you.
And as you know,
Having mature,
High-quality people who want to be around you is one of the pillars of being happy.
Now,
Another benefit of practicing forgiveness is that it gives you control and power over yourself.
Think about it.
When you are feeling resentment about a person,
Then that person is in control of your emotions.
They hold the power.
If you can let go of these emotions,
Then you take back that power and control because you no longer let other people's actions or words control your state of mind.
You are in charge and in control of your own life again.
The next positive result of practicing forgiveness is that it makes you more empathetic.
Empathy allows you to navigate this world in an easier way.
The feeling of empathy requires you to step out of your single point of view and see the world through other people's eyes.
Everyone is dealt a different hand in their lives and being empathetic brings understanding and compassion,
Which allows you to not build up anger and resentment in the first place.
Lastly,
Don't be scared to forgive.
It doesn't make you weaker or more vulnerable for bad things to repeat themselves.
Forgiving is not forgetting.
When practicing forgiveness,
You will still remember being wronged and you can still choose never to see a person again.
That choice might even serve you.
But you don't need feeling hurt or anger as a reminder.
You just need your memory and your gained maturity as a reminder.
And these not only work tons better,
They also don't make you unhappy.
So,
Let's get to the practical part of today.
I would like to invite you to write down three things.
Firstly,
I would like you to write down the sentence,
I've been hurt in this way by this person.
Next,
I would also like you to write down what you think the reason for this person's behavior was.
And really challenge yourself here to find deeper reasons.
Lastly,
I would like you to write down what your reason was for being in this situation in the first place.
Pause the course now and write down the details of how you were hurt,
The reason from the other person and the reason why you were in this situation.
Now,
I would like you to write down one more thing.
I would like you to write down why you are grateful for having been wrong.
Even though it was a bad experience,
What are you grateful for in regards to this experience?
Write down anything that comes to mind,
No matter how weird or abstract it might seem.
Again,
Pause the course now and come back when you have written down how you grew as a person.
In the next few days or during this week,
Try and see how actively practicing forgiveness can improve your everyday life.
Please remember,
Forgiving is not a one-time event.
You can't forgive once and then it's done.
Forgiveness is an ongoing practice.
So,
The next few days or this week,
Start your practice of forgiveness.
