Guided Loving-Kindness Over This Holiday Season

In this session you will be introduced to, and guided through, the practices of calm breathing and loving-kindness meditation. By slowing down the breath, you will relax the body and thus calm the mind. This provides a positive feedback loop that can be used as an in the moment intervention or self-care. Loving-kindness meditation gives us a much needed boost of positivity and self-compassion - a perfect response to any feelings of overwhelm that may arise! This track is taken from my course, ‘How To Stay Sane This Festive Season, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to session five of staying sane this festive season. I invite you to take a seat or lay down and get yourself comfortable. You can close down the eyes if you wish and take a deep slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. So as we settle into this session I just want to recap what we did in the last. We introduced the techniques of present state awareness meditation and mindfulness meditation to be used both as a form of practice but also as an intervention if we're feeling overwhelmed, Anxious, Triggered or otherwise preoccupied at any stage during the festive season. To practice present state awareness you just run through the different senses. What can I see? What can I hear? What can I feel, Taste and smell? Slowly and progressively, With calm breaths included, Just drawing our attention to what's coming in from the senses. The idea being if we are observing what our senses are bringing in, We're not lost in thought, We're not anxious, We're not ruminating, We're here in the present moment. And of course present state awareness is an offshoot of mindfulness meditation. With traditional mindfulness meditative practices you draw your attention to the sensations of the breath entering and leaving the nose and when the mind wanders you acknowledge it and gently and lovingly return your focus back to the breath. That's the act of meditation. It's not emptying your mind, It's not changing your thoughts, It's just observing what your mind is looking at and when it wanders it's about training it to return back to focus. That's a very useful skill because if you find yourself lost in thought or overwhelmed or feelings you'll start to learn to acknowledge it and then return your focus back to whatever it is you're doing. So it's great both once again as a formal practice but something to just work on during these festive season intensities. So this session is our final session and what we're going to be covering in this session is a technique of slow calm breathing as well as just a little bit of loving kindness meditation towards ourselves. So once again with slow calm breathing there are endless number of techniques and ways that you can do it. I encourage you to explore this space if it's of interest to you. But the basic summary is this, The mind and the body are connected. The mind looks to the body to see if it should be over excited or stressed or aroused and the body looks to the mind. So there's this sort of loop. If you are breathing heavily and your heart rate's pounding and you sort of muffle the tense, That's telling your mind that there's danger. And if your mind's telling you that there's danger your body responds by doing all of those physiological responses and releasing hormones and a bunch of stuff. But the good thing is that through meditation practice, Mindfulness, We can address the mind and through calm breathing we can adjust the body. By calming the breath down we start to regulate our nervous system and the regulated nervous system calms the mind down. And the simplest and easiest explanation of this is to practice slowing the breath. That's the simplest explanation. There's a lot of theory and different ideas and practices that suggest a whole variety of different counts and holds and a lot of complication on the simple idea of slowing down the breath. The slower your breath, The calmer you will be. Simply put. Now I'm going to suggest to you a practice that you can do soon and we're going to try it together. But whether or not this count that I'm doing resonates with you, Once again the principle is slow down the breath and you'll calm down the mind. So the count that I'm going to offer you is this one. You will breathe in slowly to a count of four, Hold your breath for a count of four and then release to a count of four or more. So we'll go to six seconds and you repeat this process until you notice your heartbeat slowing, Your muscles relaxing and the anxiety slowing, Your muscles relaxing and the anxiety reducing. So I invite you to take a seat or lay down and just settle into the session and just do your best to breathe along to my count. At the start it may feel a little bit unnatural or forced but as long as there's no feelings of discomfort I encourage you to persist because eventually you will settle into it and you'll find yourself calming down. So let's give it a try. Breathe in, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, In, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, In, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Breathe in, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, In, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, In, Two, Three, Four, Hold, Two, Three, Four, Out, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six. So how did you go? So how did you go? You can use that personal count of slow calm breathing at any stage. In an earlier session we talked about the idea of just, You know, Excusing yourself during a gathering to, You know, Take a little break. During one of those breaks you could do some slow calm breathing for a few minutes, Just long enough to help recover and regulate. You could do it before you, You know, Enter the gathering or as you leave as a form of, You know, Just priming yourself and getting yourself ready. You can do it as a formal practice or as a form of self-care as well. So the final thing we're going to cover in this session and in this course is just a little bit of loving kindness. Now I've touched upon this for basically all of the sessions but we're just going to formalize it a little bit. Remember we need to accept ourselves and we're going to implement self-care throughout our day and we're going to plan and prioritize and that involves saying no to things and, You know, We're going to look at potentially interacting with people that bring us duress and maybe we're spending a bit more money than we feel like we can afford and, You know, All of these things over this time causes us to, You know, Feel a little bit dysregulated, A little bit insane, You know, We're trying to stay sane this festive season of course. So what I want to encourage you to do is a couple of things. We've talked about this idea of shadow work or integration or caring for your inner child stuff throughout this session and this course and I just want to just bring yourselves back to that state. You will find over the festive season that feelings are arising. When they arise I encourage you to look at them, Observe them and feel them. Those feelings are trying to tell you something and often feelings come as a warning from the past. It's like, Hey, In the past this stressed me out, You're going to be stressed now, So like watch out, That's normal. But when those feelings arise I invite you to do two things. Number one, Investigate them, Try and find the earliest iteration of them, You know, Maybe you feel scared, Annoyed, Worried, Jealous, Angry, Whatever it is, Triggered. Number two, If you can, Turn the attention inner and just find the earliest memory of that, Sit in that space with that younger version of you and offer that person love, Care, Guidance. What would you say to that person? How would you help that person? What could you give that person? And just hold that person in your heart and wish them well. Send them feelings of love, Perhaps if you're a visual person, You know, Loving kindness, Energy washing over them. Or if you're not, Maybe just words of encouragement. Maybe free of ill will, Maybe free of suffering, Maybe full of loving kindness, Maybe happy. Maybe it's instruction, Or guidance, Or the assurance that they will survive, That they'll get through it, That they'll find a way to thrive over the festive season, That you understand their overwhelm, That you get it. Whatever it is that that person, That earlier version of you needs, Just gently offer it from a place of growth and wisdom, And well, Yeah, Loving kindness. And you can do this anytime these feelings arise, Both over the festive season, While you're planning, While you're resting, While you're recovering, While you're attending, Or just in general. So this process of self-discovery, Of acceptance, Of boundary setting, Of self-care, All of this can bring up a lot of different, You know, Aspects of our past, Triggers, Neuroses, Anxieties, Worries. We're trying to sort of take control of our existence, Our response to the societal expectation, For lack of a better expression, And that can be a lot. So when these feelings arise, Like I said, Turn the attention inwards, Observe what arises, And just inject into that space love, Kindness, Compassion to yourself, Both then and now. So I invite you to sit for a minute and just sending some compassion and love and kindness to our past selves, To whatever version ourselves has arisen over this talk, And sending it in a way that works for you, Be it visual, Be it words, Be it a feeling. So take a deep, Slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth, And let's just sit in loving, Kind, Compassion towards ourselves as we attempt to heal and integrate. So, How did you go? As always, If you have any questions around slow, Calm breathing, Around loving kindness, About staying sane over this festive season in general, Either from this session or from the entire course, I once again invite you to let me know in the classroom. I'll be there daily to help you out. And being that this is the last session, I also want to encourage you that over the festive season, When things come up, As they will, Come back to this class, Re-engage with the content, And ask some more questions in the classroom. I'll still be there daily, Every day of the year, Making sure that we're fostering, Developing, Caring, Creating, Connecting in the community. So I encourage you, If and when things arise, Re-engage with this community. And if you see other people sharing their insights, Sharing their concerns, Their issues, As well as their guidances and growths, Just connect with them. We have the opportunity to foster a community, One that helps one another bring positivity back to our experiences of the festive season. So let's work together to, Well, Not just survive, But thrive. So I look forward to seeing you there, And I wish you a great day and a great festive season. Catch ya. This track is taken from the course, How to Stay Sane This Festive Season, Available now via my InsightTimer profile.