Mindfulness Method For Difficult Emotions

The initial response to negative emotions is to suppress them. After all, society tells us that this is what we must do to remain happy — ignore any negative thoughts and focus only on the sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies of life. RAIN is a process characterized by an emphasis on maintaining awareness of your surroundings and the thoughts and feelings that accompany them without judgement. This means no reliving the past, and no preparing for the future.

Transcript

Hi and welcome. I am going to guide you through a gentle reflection exercise, A mindfulness technique from the RAIN, An acronym for the four steps of the process. A mindfulness technique and mindfulness tool that offers a way of working through intense and difficult emotions. RAIN standing for recognize what is happening, Allow life to be just as it is, Investigate inner experience with kindness, Non-identification. Let's begin by sitting quietly, Finding a comfortable position and closing your eyes gently. Beginning by taking a few full breaths. Breathing in the nose for 4, 3, 2, 1 and a deep long exhale 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Let's do that one more time. Breathing in for 4, 3, 2, 1. Exhaling out for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And allow the breath to just go back to its natural rhythm. Bring your mind to a current situation in which you might feel stuck, One that might elicit a difficult reaction such as anger or fear, Shame or hopelessness. It may be a conflict with a family member, Failure at work, Pain of an addiction or a conversation you now regret. Take time to enter the experience. Recognize the scene or situation. Remember the words that were spoken. Sense the most distressing moments. You might not feel very comfortable at this point, But let's trust the process and take the time to enter this visualization. Contacting the charged essence of that experience is the starting place for exploring the healing presence of a rain. Recognize what is happening. Let's begin with R. Recognize. As you reflect on this situation, Ask yourself, What is happening inside me right now? What sensations are you most aware of? What emotions? Is your mind filled with churning thoughts? Take a moment to become aware of your felt essence of the situation as a whole. Can you feel how the experience is living in your heart and body as well as in your mind? Take a moment to recognize what is happening. A for allowing life to be just as it is. Begin to send a message to your heart to let be this experience. Find in yourself the willingness to pause and accept that in these moments, What is, Is. You can experiment with mentally whispering words like yes, I consent or let be. You might find yourself saying yes to a huge inner no, To a body and mind painfully contracted in resistance. You might be saying yes to the part of you that is saying, I hate this. And just trust that this is a natural part of the process. At this point in rain, You are noticing what is true and intending not to judge, Push away or control what you find. Allowing it to just be. Take a moment to do that for yourself right now. I investigate with an intimate attention. Now begin to explore the control what you are experiencing more closely. Calling on your natural interest and curiosity about your inner life. You might ask yourself, What about this wants my attention? What about this most wants my attention? Or what most wants my acceptance? Pose your questions gently with your inner voice kind and inviting. Notice where you feel the experience most distinctly in your body. Are you aware of heat, Tightness, Pressure, Aches, Squeezing. When you have found the most intense part of your physical experience, Bring it into your face, Letting expression mirror and even exaggerate what you are feeling in your body. What emotions are you aware of as you do this? Fear, Anger, Grief, Shame. As you continue to investigate, You might find it helpful to ask, What am I believing? If this leads to a lot of thinking, Just drop it. But you might find that a very distinct belief emerges almost as soon as you ask, Do you believe that you are failing in some way? That someone will reject you? That you will not be able to handle whatever is around the corner? How does this belief live in your body? What are the sensations, Tightness, Soreness, Burning, Hollowness? As before, Send the message of yes, I consent or let it be. And allow yourself to feel the fullness or intensity of the difficult experience. As you contact and allow what is happening, What do you notice? Is there any softening in your body and heart? Can you sense more openness or space? Or does the intention to allow bring up more tension, Judgment and fear? Now as the place of most difficulty, What do you want from me? Or what do you need from me? Does this suffering part of you want recognition, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Love? As you sense what is needed, What is your natural response? You might offer yourself a wise message or an energetic, Tender embrace. You might gently place your hand on your heart. Feel free to experiment with ways of befriending your inner life, Whether through your words or touch, Images or energy. Discover how your attention might become more intimate and loving. Take a moment to investigate with intimate attention. Again the last letter of RAIN. Non-identification, Rest in natural awareness. As you offer this unconditional kind presence to your inner life, Sense the possibility of relaxing and being that awareness. Like an ocean with waves on the surface, Feel yourself as the tender, Grateful openness that includes arising and passing sensations, Emotions, Thoughts. Can you sense how who you are is not identified, Not identified by or hinged to any particular wave of fear or anger or hurt? Can you sense how the waves on the surface belong to your experience but cannot injure or alter the measureless depth and vastness of your being? Take some moments as long as you'd like to simply rest in this spacious and kind awareness, Allowing whatever arises in your body or mind to freely come and go. Know this natural awareness as the innermost truth of who you are. Take some more time here if you wish and know that you can practice these steps at any point whenever a difficult emotion arises. Either come back to this meditation and do it with me or make a mental note of the different steps and how to go through them by yourself when you face a difficult emotion in the midst of daily life. Either way, The key is to be conscious and purposeful as you initiate the practice, Knowing that you are offering a committed presence to what is true here and now. Thank you for practicing this beautiful mindfulness technique with me. You may now sit in silence for a little bit longer, Staying in that beautiful kindness, Awareness. And whenever you feel ready, Gently opening up your eyes, Taking a few deep breaths, Stretching yourself out. Maybe you're taking out a deep long sigh, Bringing a smile on your face as you stand and take the next step forward. Thank you.