Five Basic Needs Of The Heart - For Emotional Trauma & Self Soothing

Five Basic Needs of the Heart. Attention, Affection, Appreciation, Acceptance, Allowing. We learn to cultivate these basic needs towards ourselves. In this meditation, we begin reteaching the heart/mind to love itself, be kind towards itself, be compassionate towards itself, appreciate and accept itself. We learn to hold ourselves with kindness.

Transcript

Welcome.

I'm Vimala Sara,

Aka Valerie Mason-John.

And today,

We are going to practice the five basic needs of the heart.

So get yourself settled.

And the meditation will begin.

Attention.

Paying attention to your body,

To your beautiful body.

This body that has carried you this far in the world,

The body with all its imperfections,

Give gratitude and thanks for this body.

And we simply become aware of our bodies by noticing what the body is touching.

So notice clothing touching the body.

Perhaps you may even notice hair,

The hair on your head touching the nape of your neck or your forehead.

If you're wearing glasses,

You may experience a touch of the glasses resting on your nose and around your ears.

Noticing the touch of your hands,

Where are they resting?

So paying attention to the body.

Paying attention to the touch of the breathing.

Where do you experience the breathing,

The touch of the breathing in the body?

And just noticing when you pay attention to the body,

Notice if this experience is pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Neutral,

Or a mixture of all three.

It really doesn't matter what you experience.

Just be true to what you're experiencing right now.

Turning towards whatever the feeling is with compassion and kindness.

And if the music isn't exactly your cup of tea,

That's okay too.

Just acknowledge that.

And you can just focus on the touch of the body.

And if it is your cup of tea,

Then that's okay too.

When we pay attention to the body,

We become honest with ourselves.

True to what is actually happening for us in the moment.

And it's a training we're learning to pay attention to the body.

Thinking narrative will take us away from what is actually happening in the body.

So right now,

If I come back to my body,

I notice pressure.

I notice pressure under my feet.

I notice the pressure of my hands on my lap.

I notice the sound of the music upon my ears.

And I notice how I slow down when I pay attention to my body.

So let's move into the next basic need.

Affection.

Cultivating affection towards ourselves.

And notice if you tensed up a bit when you heard the word affection.

Notice if some thoughts flooded your mind.

I don't want to give myself affection.

I can't give myself affection.

I don't deserve affection.

Just let them go.

Let the thoughts pass and go.

I'm going to invite you to really see if you can see yourself in your mind's eye.

Bring to mind an image of yourself that you like or imagine looking in the mirror.

And even if you look in the mirror and you can't see yourself,

Just notice that this is your experience.

There's no rights or wrongs how you do this.

But I just invite you to look in that mirror and notice what's going on in the body.

I'm looking in the mirror right now and I can see a smile on my face.

And I experience warmth in the body.

And some of you may experience this as unpleasant,

Pleasant,

Neutral or a mixture of all three.

Totally fine this is your experience.

But I'm going to invite you to hold yourself,

To really see if you can hold yourself.

Literally raise your arms and hold yourself with kindness and with affection.

And have the sense of holding a tiny being in your arms,

A newborn being in your arms.

This newborn being is you looking down at this newborn being of you.

And notice what's going on in the body.

Notice if there's a tear rolling down the cheek.

Notice if there's clenching in the jaw.

Notice if there's real aversion.

It's all okay.

Just allow your breathing to support you.

And see if you can integrate this tiny being into your heart,

Placing the hand on your heart and breathing in this newborn,

This newborn being of you into your heart.

Hold yourself with affection.

Give yourself some affection.

Hold yourself with affection,

Kindness and compassion.

And breathe.

Well done,

Well done for sticking with this meditation.

Meditation isn't necessarily easy.

It's a strong practice,

So well done.

We're moving into the basic need of appreciation.

Cultivating appreciation towards yourself.

So if your hand is still on your heart,

If you're still holding yourself,

You can continue to do that or you can release the hand or the arms and sit with appreciation towards yourself.

Yes,

You get to appreciate yourself.

So if you've got thoughts saying,

Why should I appreciate myself?

I've got nothing to appreciate myself for.

I don't deserve to be appreciated.

Why am I appreciating myself?

Just let them play out.

Let them just play out.

Turn the volume down and see if you can touch into appreciation.

You can appreciate yourself for listening to this meditation.

That's something worth appreciating yourself for.

If you're meditating,

You're wanting to change something in your life,

That is something worth appreciating yourself for.

The fact that you're still listening to this practice,

That is something to appreciate yourself for.

The fact that some of us are still alive,

Yes.

Some of us perhaps try to take our lives once upon a time and here we are,

Still alive,

Still wanting to change,

Still wanting to do something different.

That's worth appreciating yourself for.

So tell yourself,

Well done,

Well done,

Well done.

Appreciation and noticing if this experience of appreciation is pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Neutral or a mixture of all three.

And you may be saying,

Well I'm not quite sure.

Well if nothing much is going on,

That's normally in the neutral stage.

Nothing much going on,

So it's neutral.

If you've moved into thoughts of aversion,

Then that's unpleasant.

And if you've moved into thoughts of sense,

Desire and pleasure,

That means something pleasant is being experienced and it's okay whatever you are experiencing.

Just turn towards your truth.

Appreciation.

Sitting with appreciation towards yourself.

The next basic need of the heart,

Acceptance.

Sitting with acceptance.

Acceptance is in the now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Acceptance is in the now.

So all we have to accept is the person sitting,

Lying,

Standing,

Walking to this meditation right now.

So while I'm in acceptance,

I'm just accepting this person here sitting in a chair,

Listening to the music and guiding this meditation.

That's all I have to accept.

Now when I go into stories of the past,

I'm not good enough,

Or stories in the future,

What are people going to think about this meditation?

I've lost acceptance.

Acceptance is gone.

The past is gone.

The future hasn't even arrived.

Why am I in the future when it hasn't even arrived?

Why am I in the past when it's gone?

It's crazy.

It's like,

I can't change what's happened in the past.

I can change the way I think about the past.

That can help.

So acceptance is in the now.

And if we need to do some forgiveness,

We do that in the now.

Acceptance,

Acceptance,

Acceptance,

Acceptance is in the now.

That's all you have to accept this person listening to me right now.

See if you can be in your direct experience,

Noticing if this is unpleasant,

Or pleasant or neutral,

Or a mixture of all three.

I have a mixture,

I can notice some tension in my left shoulder.

I notice some lightness in the abdomen.

I notice tingling in my feet.

That's all we have to accept.

Have a taste of freedom.

See if you can be in the now.

A taste of freedom.

Be in the now.

And we're in the now.

When we let go of any narrative saying,

I like this music,

I like this meditation,

I don't like this music,

I don't like this meditation,

We have lost the now.

So just see if you can have a taste of freedom and just be with your direct experience and a direct experience is sensations in the body.

The fifth basic need of the heart is allowing.

Yes,

You get to allow anything to arise in your experience.

Just let it arise.

I will say very little.

Just a tip.

If you find yourself caught up in thinking,

Caught up in narrative,

Come back to the sensations in the body.

Come back to the breath and just allow.

Noticing if the experience of allowing is pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Neutral or a mixture of all three and just turning towards your experience with kindness and compassion and now expanding your awareness outwards so that when you finish this practice,

Your heart can be open and whoever comes into your path,

Crosses your path,

You can give them some attention,

Affection,

Appreciation,

Acceptance and just allowing.

We do these practices for all sentient beings,

Not just for humans,

But for all life force.

And that includes animals,

It includes the earth.

By simply cultivating these five basic needs of the heart,

We could be contributing to slowing down things like anger,

Hatred and slowing down climate change.

Yes,

These five basic needs of the heart are potent and can transform the individual and can transform the world,

Giving thanks.

Yes,

These five basic needs of the heart are potent and can transform the individual and

Reviews

This meditation really calmed me, it helped me by feeling supported and heard.

Superb!! Had me crying in a good way. Her voice carries her energy of wisdom for sure 🙏 Thank you so much to this meditation teacher 🫶

Such wonderful medicine for my soul. Thank you kindly 🤍

This is my first twenty five minutes of meditation. I’m so happy that I did it with you. The music was a little bit different but I feel so much better now. Thank you

Allowing myself to feel acceptance towards myself was quite emotional and needed, thank you

Thank you. This helped. I will share it with others.

Heartwarming and heartening 💚 Your voice is lovely and cadence perfect. Thank you

Really calming, centering and compassionate. Thank you x

Exactly what I needed this morning. Thank you! Thank you!
🙏

Wow, beautiful. Amazing meditation.
Thank you so much. 🙏🌷💜

Thank you, Vimalasara. That deepened my metta practice significantly following a period of feeling quite stuck with it. Much appreciation.

Thank you for this practice, which touched my inner self.

So rich and meaningful. I plan to listen to this many more times. Her voice is beautiful and the message is deep and healing.

Thankyou for this beautiful meditation. It felt like you were in the room with me, it made me cry really hard, feel joy, feel neutral and cry again. It was tough because it’s facing oneself but isn’t that the whole point ? I would love to know if you have anything on how to deal with intrusive thoughts, the really awful ones that we darent speak about. I really appreciate you taking the time to make this, Thankyou again 🤍

Thankyou for being so raw and honest during this meditation. You allowed me to cry and feel sadness for the abuse I suffered.

Thank you for your support and compassion. I’m having a hard time right now. Your words soothe my weary soul

Excellent guidance in a calming, warm and kind voice, well paced to soothing piano background music, this meditation had a profound effect and quite a bit of sadness well up and leave my body around the notions of affection and appreciation. I enjoyed the succinct enunciation and the alliteration in stating the heart's basic needs, and I love that the scope is being extended beyond ourselves towards all of humanity and all life on our planet to alleviate our most urgent issues. Thank you so much for this wonderful contribution, and all the best for you and this community of meditators 🌈 ♥ 🙏 🕊️ 🙌 ✨

One of the most beautiful, simple and courageous practices I’ve ever done. Her grounded, warm voice and guidance truly a blessing 💕

This lady seemed to know exactly the words I needed to hear right now. And she has such a beautiful soothing voice too. I will listen to this many times while I am recovering from illness. Thank you.

Amazing, transformative and healing 🙏 gratitude for this meditation.