MA 37 Two Ways To Practice Loving Kindness

Meditation from the Thai Theravada tradition following a modernized interpretation of Boran Kammatthana. This track consists of extending the Dhammakaya practice at the centre to the spreading of loving-kindness either by moving from easy people to more difficult ones or moving in ever-widening geographic circles.

Transcript

So we start by sitting up straight.

Whether we're sitting on a meditation mat or on a chair,

We try to have our back elongated.

We relax and close our eyes,

Allowing the whole of our body to relax,

Beginning with the muscles of our face,

Within our shoulders,

Our arms,

Down to the tips of our fingers.

Relax our torso,

Both legs,

All the way down to the tips of our toes,

Allowing the whole of our body to rest more and more.

At this point you can imagine yourself sitting quietly,

All alone,

Relaxing yourself.

You allow the whole body to come to a state of rest.

And you also allow the mind to be free,

Allowing the mind to dance its own dance without constraining it.

So we don't attempt to apply any force.

The mind needs to think,

Allow it to think.

If it needs to daydream,

Then allow it to daydream.

Whatever the mind needs to feel,

We allow it to do so.

Just be as aware of what is happening as if you're watching clouds passing through the sky.

And by doing so,

The conscious and unconscious parts of the mind are drawn closer together,

Which is the goal that we hope to experience.

So we quietly observe the dance of the consciousness.

And we will find that this simple technique allows us to let go of any energy,

Frustration,

Worry or anxiety that we were experiencing previously.

And when we feel relaxed and refreshed,

Both in body and in mind,

Very gently and using no effort at all,

You can imagine that inside your body is just an empty space or a hollow cavity with no organs or tissues,

Muscles or bones.

As if your whole body has been transformed into a sort of transparent bubble with nothing on the inside.

And within this empty space of your body and mind,

You can call to mind a picture of something like a bright shining sun,

Or alternatively a full moon,

A star or perhaps a sparkling diamond about the size of a small and shining pearl.

But this time we are relocating that imaginary object to bring it within the space of our own body.

We don't worry too much if the actual picture is not very clear.

Even if it's vague,

We accept it anyway.

And bear in mind that for about half the people who meditate,

It's going to be more of a feeling than a picture.

But whatever the case,

Whether it is an object we can see or an object we can feel,

Feeling it by its warmth or shape or texture,

We allow that object to float slowly downwards within the space of our body,

Almost as if we were slowly breathing the object down to the deepest point of our breath,

Or as if we were gently swallowing the object down within ourselves to reach the deepest point of our stomach.

And once it reaches that point or a point that feels comfortable for us,

Down inside ourselves,

We gently maintain that inner object at the centre of ourselves as continuously as we can,

For as long as we can,

Not letting our attention slip away anywhere else if we can help it.

If we find our attention wandering away,

Then it's not the end of the world,

We simply bring our attention back to that inner object again.

If the inner object disappears,

Then we just think of a new one.

Once the imaginary object has entered the centre of the body,

It remains at that point within you.

We imagine that it's beginning to shine more and more,

Or that the feeling of well-being inside us spreads outwards more and more.

We allow the whole body to shine forth with the light,

The light of peace,

Happiness,

Beauty and joy.

We allow the whole body to glow brighter and brighter with the light.

And today as we meditate,

We will try out two ways we can spread this light of loving-kindness.

One way is to spread the loving-kindness starting with easy people and moving on to more difficult ones.

The second way to spread loving-kindness is to spread the light of loving-kindness in ever widening circles,

Geographically without thinking of specific people.

So today we'll compare which of the two methods whose has the best.

If you'd like to try the first way of spreading loving-kindness,

We should begin as is traditional with loving-kindness,

By spreading that loving-kindness to ourselves first of all.

So we imagine ourselves with that pure loving energy at the centre of our body.

Even if it doesn't take a specific form,

You might imagine it as a warm or glowing light or energy that is at your centre.

And the idea is just to spread a sense of love from your centre to your whole body.

Just imagine a real sense of love and kindness radiating out from the centre and infusing your body with a sense of being loved,

Being looked after,

Being soothed and comforted.

So just take a moment and really bask in that loving energy and let it open you up in a deep way.

Allow yourself to let go into that loving feeling and offer the affirmation to yourself,

May I be well and happy,

May I be free of suffering.

Imagine your body being infused by this warm,

Caring,

Glowing energy.

And just get a sense of what it feels like to accept your own loving-kindness.

Just any thoughts that might get in the way of that,

Or if you find that difficult,

Or if you feel yourself objecting to being loved.

Just see if you can let go of those thoughts and just see what it might be like to allow yourself to feel that love and stay with that feeling for a moment.

Now you can move on to think of someone who is very special to you,

A dear friend or a family member.

Just bring to mind someone like that who is important to you and special in your life.

Picture them in miniature at the centre of your body and use your awareness to connect deeply at that person's centre,

The centre of this person who is so dear to you.

And recognise that just like you,

This person has hopes and fears.

This person has joys and sorrows.

Just like you,

This person feels sad sometimes,

Gets lonely sometimes.

This person is just like you in that they really want to be loved and accepted.

They want to be happy and safe.

So see if you can connect in some way with that sense of being the same on a deeply human level.

That we all suffer,

We all want to be loved.

So just imagine being able to send some loving energy to that person.

So from your centre send forth some loving warm energy to that person.

Perhaps you can offer some loving phrases.

Maybe happy,

Maybe safe.

Maybe you feel deeply loved and connected.

And imagine emanating that warm loving energy from your centre.

Perhaps imagine a golden warm light flowing out from your centre and connecting with that person's centre.

As you send them your loving kindness.

Now just really think about how you'd like to engage with that person in real life.

What kind of qualities would you want to bring into your friendship with that person?

How can you demonstrate your sense of loving kindness to this person in real and concrete ways?

Through what you say to them or how you listen to them or how you behave when you're in their presence.

And just get a sense of what that might look like.

And now I'd like you to bring to mind a purely neutral person.

Perhaps a vague acquaintance,

Perhaps someone you see quite regularly,

Such as a person at the checkout in your supermarket.

Or someone who lives on the same street that you see occasionally but don't really know.

Or just complete strangers,

Those faces in the crowd.

So bring the miniature image of someone like this to your centre.

Now consider that even though you know nothing about this person and in many ways they might not seem that important to you.

Think about the fact that just like you this person too has hopes and fears.

This person has joys and sorrows.

This person gets sad sometimes,

Feels lonely sometimes.

This person just like you wants to feel that they're loved and accepted and they want to feel happy and safe.

So again just to know that in some deeply fundamental way you're the same as this person.

You share this common humanity with all its joys and sorrows.

So see what it may feel like to send some loving kindness to this person too.

Imagine that you can send your sense of goodwill and warmth and kindness to these people that we usually ignore or are completely indifferent to.

So imagine again emanating warm loving energy from our centre to these people.

Imagine that a warm golden light flows out from our centre,

Surrounding and engulfing this neutral person with a real sense of warmth and love.

Now just consider how you might want to engage with this person in your daily life.

Whether that's just exchanging brief eye contact or connecting with a smile or perhaps just sending a sense of goodwill and kindness to them in your thoughts.

Perhaps you want to pay a little bit more attention next time you're in the check out.

Just think of some way that you can maintain some kind of connection with this real person,

This real human being at your centre.

To engage in a brief kindly exchange.

So just get a sense of what that might be like.

Now bring to mind someone who might be quite difficult for you.

To start with perhaps it's best to start with someone who's just slightly difficult.

As you repeat this exercise you can gradually work up to spreading loving kindness to people who are really quite difficult and might otherwise bring up painful emotions for you.

But for now just start with someone who's difficult in some way.

The sense of discomfort there,

Perhaps concerning something they have done or said has caused hurt in you.

If you think about this person consider that just like you they too sometimes struggle with feelings of hurt or anger or disappointment.

Perhaps the fact that you find them difficult is explained by the fact that they have had problems and difficulties in their life too.

It has somehow caused them to behave in an unhelpful way.

Everyone can recall ways that we ourselves are being caught up by a difficult emotion and then said or acted in an unskillful way.

And equally that could have been painful for someone else.

So this difficult person is just like you.

They too have their hopes and fears.

They too feel sad and lonely sometimes.

Just like you they struggle with difficult emotions.

This person is just like you in that they want to feel that they are loved and accepted.

They want to be happy even if they may pursue that in unskillful ways.

It's an emotion we all share.

Just to feel safe and happy.

Just experiment with allowing some of that love to be directed towards this difficult person too.

To see if you'd be sufficiently courageous and willing to get past some of your hurt and spread some warmth and loving kindness towards this person.

Now just think about how you would like to engage with this person.

How you would like to interact with this person if you decide you want to interact with this person.

If you made a decision that it is important for you to interact with them,

How would you want that to look?

How would you want to offer something to this person or bring something to this relationship?

Think of concrete ways that you might be able to demonstrate your willingness to engage.

Or your goodwill towards this person despite the things that might have happened between you.

You might decide that you don't want to react,

Interact with the person and that's okay.

The question is if it's important for you to initiate a truce of some sort,

How might you go about doing that?

So now just to get a sense of seeing all of these different sorts of people appearing at your centre.

Your friends and loved ones.

The neutral people that we don't really feel strongly for or against.

And those difficult people too.

We imagine them all gathered there at our centre.

We imagine being able to offer them all a sense of love and kindness and to ourselves as well.

And we spread forth that golden warm energy offering it to all these people.

And as we continue to practice this exercise we can work on expanding outwards with our goodwill and warmth and kindness and love to wider and wider circles of people.

The second way to spread loving kindness is in ever expanding geographic circles.

We allow the whole body to shine with the light of love,

The light of peace,

Beauty,

Happiness and joy.

And allow the whole body to emanate forth the light of loving kindness more and more,

Brighter and brighter,

More and more.

In front and behind us,

To our right and our left,

Above and below.

Allowing the whole body to shine,

Pervading the light of love,

Peace,

Happiness and joy into our hearts and our souls.

All across the land.

We allow the light to cover people,

Houses,

Buildings,

Villages,

Towns and cities.

Fields and forests,

Mountains and valleys,

Lakes,

Seas and oceans.

From horizon to horizon.

Embracing the entire world,

Deep into the ground,

Allowing that light of loving kindness to pervade deeper and deeper.

Embracing all lives in the layers and layers of rocks and stones,

Soils and dust.

No matter how insignificant they may seem.

With the wish that may all living beings there be well and happy,

May all be free from suffering.

We continue to share this light of love,

Peace and happiness,

Beauty and joy.

Deeper into the water,

Deeper into the sea,

Deeper down into the oceans.

Allowing that light of loving kindness to perfuse the ocean waters.

With the wish that all living beings may be well and happy,

May be free of suffering.

We share this light of love,

Peace and joy more and more.

Allowing the light to expand without limit.

Embracing all,

Nurturing all,

Healing all,

Forgiving all,

More and more without end.

And increasingly we allow the body to shine forth,

Deeper and deeper into the sky,

Reaching out to the stars,

Planets,

Suns and moons.

Allowing the light to expand,

Covering the entire galaxy,

The seas of stars.

Reaching out the entire universe with the wish that may all living beings in the entire universe be well and happy,

Be free from all suffering.

And we share this light of love,

Peace,

Happiness and joy to every living being in the universe with the wish.

May there be peace among people,

May there be peace amongst nations.

May we witness lasting peace,

Love and care in all the hearts and souls to bring peace to our planet within our own lifetimes.

We allow the light of loving kindness to shine within all embracing light more and more without end.

This loving kindness exercise is based on a very ancient practice,

As is testified by an old Indian account of a hermit who used to retire to the seclusion of the forest for meditation.

It was his habit to favour the practice of meditation on loving kindness on a regular basis,

By day and by night.

Whenever his mind was at ease he would spread loving kindness,

Facing east with the intention that may all living beings in the direction in front of me in the eastern quarter,

And the smallest creatures,

Whether two-footed,

Four-footed,

With many legs or no legs at all,

Be pervaded by my loving kindness.

May all living beings enjoy happiness and be free from all suffering.

The next day he might spread loving kindness in the same way in the western quarter,

The northern quarter,

The southern quarter,

Upwards or below.

He would spread loving kindness in this way in all directions,

Consistently and regularly,

Until it became his habit.

Whenever he slept,

He slept in happiness as if slipping into deep meditation.

It would bring him joy the whole of the time,

And he would have a dreamless sleep.

If he ever dreamed,

Then it would be of auspicious things.

On waking he felt refreshed,

Free of sleepiness.

He always had a very radiant complexion because of his practice,

And even if there was danger in his midst,

It would never harm him.

He was loved and respected by people,

Celestial beings and forest creatures alike.

He was able to enter upon meditation easily and attain the absorptions quickly.

His mind coming to a standstill swiftly because he was able to let go quickly of external events,

Bearing no anger or grudges toward anyone.

His mind was bright at the centre of his body,

Brighter than the sun at midday.

As a result of his loving kindness,

The forest became abundant with fruit.

Even animals that were sworn enemies,

Like deer and tigers,

That came into the vicinity of the forest,

Were able to co-exist in harmony because their minds were pacified by the loving kindness they felt towards one another.

These are some of the fruits of spreading loving kindness which appear even in the present lifetime.

So having spread loving kindness in the two ways we have explored today,

We condense our awareness back down to the centre of our body again,

Taking careful note of the brightness,

The clarity,

The feeling of peace and joy at the centre of the body.

In particular,

Taking mental note of the feeling of wellbeing at the centre of our body.

Remembering this feeling as well as we can because this feeling of wellbeing is very important for us.

This ends the state of progress in meditation that we've built up until now.

If we can remember this feeling as well as we can,

The next time we come to meditate again,

We can start again from this feeling.

Starting again from this feeling,

We continue to make progress next time we come to meditate.

So for the last few minutes of this meditation,

We take a few moments to take note of the state of our own progress in meditation.

Remembering the feeling as well as we can for the last few moments in silence.

Thank you.

You are welcome.