Welcome to Life Unedited Sanctuary,
Where reality happens.
I'm Tiffany,
And I've been a reality therapist for longer than I believe there has been reality therapy.
Reality therapy is about accepting life at face value,
Right here,
Right now.
Breathing out then and there and breathing in here and now.
Reality therapy is a perfect companion to shadow work because shadows are the parts of us we don't want to radically accept.
This is a reading on identifying our shadows and accepting their reality.
Shadow work is about identifying,
Acknowledging,
And radically accepting those parts of ourselves we keep hidden.
Hidden from others,
And often even ourselves.
Our shadows are the,
Quote,
Unconscious parts of our personalities that our conscious ego rejects,
Represses,
Or hides,
End quote,
As defined by Carl Jung.
Our conscious ego is the gatekeeper of our shadows.
Radically accepting those shadow parts of us gives us the opportunity to integrate them into the whole of us.
These shadows can be both positive and negative traits.
For example,
A positively repressed trait could be claircognizance.
Which is an inner knowing with certainty about something or someone without knowing how we know.
We might share our inner knowing with trusted people who deny the knowing and even shame us about it to the point of our conscious burying it to protect ourselves and avoid the shame.
Anger could be considered a negative trait.
We try to hide it from people because we are embarrassed by it,
Afraid of being judged,
To avoid conflict,
To protect relationships,
And other reasons.
In my book,
Life Unedited,
The Power of Radical Acceptance,
28 Theories of Living in Reality,
I define those 28 theories,
And here I will share the shadow sides that could be hidden in an attempt to avoid looking at the truth of ourselves in our arguments with the reality of us.
Theory one,
Everything happens for a reason.
Ego makes choices about what happens for a reason based on its own need for validation of not good enough and remaining comfortable in the victim.
Typically positive things happen for a reason and negative things are blamed either on some external factor or us for not being good enough.
That serves to confirm our ego's belief.
Shadow makes and takes everything personally.
Theory 2,
Radical Acceptance.
Shadow argues with,
Blames,
Denies,
And makes up stories about reality rather than radically accepting that our reality is what it is in the moment.
Theory 3,
Change your perception,
Change your world.
Shadow remains steadfast in its story,
Refusing to shift perspective or even entertain other perspectives.
This is to keep us,
Quote,
Comfortable in our story,
Rather than risk possible discomfort of an unknown outcome.
Theory 4.
Soul Lesson Planned.
Shadow refuses to identify and learn from patterns,
Convincing us it is for our own good to stay stuck in discomfort,
Dysfunction,
And delusion because we don't deserve better.
Theory 5,
Soul Age.
Shadow refuses to acknowledge souls at different ages in an attempt to avoid growth of self.
36.
Gut Instinct.
Shadow denies,
Avoids,
Ignores our bodily instincts and intuitions,
Deeming itself smarter for writing its own story and hiding behind the mask of protecting ourselves and keeping us from getting hurt again.
Theory 7.
Reality always wins.
Ego or shadow actively argues with reality to perpetuate the loop of lack of worth and victim of circumstance,
Situation and person.
Theory 8.
Control is an illusion.
Shadow clings tightly to the illusion of control,
Which causes suffering.
Control of the past by retelling false stories,
Future by trying to solve for what hasn't happened,
And current by arguing with the reality of now.
39.
All communication is projection.
Shadow makes and takes things personally and does not take responsibility or accountability of its own part in communication.
Theory 10.
Projection is never personal.
Shadow believes everything is about themselves,
Reinforcing ego's belief of I'm not good enough.
Theory 11.
The myth that it's normal to argue.
Shadow gains false sense of strength and power from arguing and tries to deceive others by claiming it is normal,
Even at the cost of self and others.
It also participates in arguments by defending and writing stories of being the victim of the argument.
Theory 12,
Manipulation.
Remembering we have choice.
Shadow reinforces our lack of choice and our inability to engage proactively in our life by keeping us stuck in victimhood,
Giving power away,
Projecting responsibility,
Blame,
And fault.
Theory 13,
Asking for what we want.
Shadow silences us to keep the cycle of not worthy and denying our wants and needs,
Creating a space of martyrdom.
Theory 14.
Words have power.
Ego knows that words have power and uses words as weapons to intentionally wound in an attempt to make itself bigger at the expense of others.
Theory 15.
Trying.
Shadow basks in the realm of inactivity like hamsters on a wheel,
Never advancing and clinging to the illusion of an attempt to advance.
By calling it trying.
And then clings to the illusion of trying while blaming progress on external forces.
Worry does not mean we care.
Shadow uses veil of care,
Called worry,
To perpetuate states of fear and anxiety,
Keeping us unbalanced.
Theory 17,
Feelings,
Adjectives with Power.
Shadow uses feelings as an excuse for behaviors and reactions,
Giving responsibility and power to feelings rather than ourselves.
Theory 18,
Rejection.
Shadow has an attachment to the story of rejection and blaming others for our choice not to radically accept ourselves.
Theory 19 triggers.
Triggers our shadow's way of shirking our own responsibility for our own choices,
Reactions,
And behaviors.
Theory 20.
Expectation.
Shadow projects our expectations of self onto others to avoid growth and possibly to reinforce our ego's self-disappointment and unworthiness.
Theory 21,
Jealousy.
Shadow lulls us into a false sense of security,
Claiming jealousy equals love and care,
To avoid looking at and doing the work to heal our own insecurities.
Theory 22,
Liminal,
The space in between.
Shadow leaps over the pause,
The space in between the statement and response,
And straight into reaction in an attempt to gain control,
Often in defense.
3023.
Don't date potential.
Shadow refuses to accept self as work in progress,
And rather than choosing growth,
Goes outside of ourselves to date projects as a way of giving oneself purpose by trying to change others to maintain our stuck.
Theory 24.
I don't want to get hurt again.
Shadow builds a wall around our heart of fear with an inner mantra of I don't want to get hurt again.
Creating the illusion of protection rather than the reality of stuck in its own fear.
Theory 25,
Dreams Self-Processing.
Ego seeks external explanations for their dreams rather than trusting their own self-interpretation.
3026,
Hell.
Shadow denies our responsibility of creating our own experiences of hell by blaming others and concocting an illusion of possible damnation by a judgmental deity.
327.
Death.
The ultimate fear shadow holds over us,
Keeping us cemented in fear of experiencing life fully with curiosity.
Theory 28,
Reincarnation.
Shadow projects our human emotions onto an afterlife experience to keep us stuck in fear.
If any of these rang true,
Gentle listener,
That is a beautiful sound of the opportunity for growth in that area.
Maybe listen to the corresponding reality theory here on Insight Timer and do some graceful exploration of how and why the shadow resonated.
Journal about how it could feel to embrace the shadow and accept it lovingly as part of its integration,
As it no longer needs to remain hidden.
The goal is to radically accept all parts of us without judgment to the best of our ability.
Happy shadow hunting!
