Hey there everybody,
This is Kristen from Teaching Balance and I'm here with you with this week's mindfulness meditation practice.
And we are in the month of self-compassion.
We've done some practices where we named our inner critic.
We did a little bit around acceptance of ourselves,
Particularly acceptance and celebration of our strengths.
We did a more traditional compassion kindness practice focusing on self-compassion.
And so as I was thinking about how we can complement all of those various approaches to this idea of self-compassion,
What I thought I would explore with you this week is more about self-kindness.
And as I was considering this idea of self-kindness,
Because I think of self-compassion as a combination of self-acceptance and self-kindness.
Kindness of course is about being nice,
Right?
Being generous,
Accepting,
But of course we already talked about that.
So what does that really mean?
And as I was thinking about that,
An example came up for me that I wanted to share with you from a retreat actually that I was on earlier this past summer.
And what I really appreciated was that a participant shared,
We were talking about negative self-talk and kindness and self-compassion,
And this person shared that she was with a friend and she was complaining about her own limitations,
Her own problems,
Whatever it was,
She was verbalizing the ways she was disappointed with herself and was being very self-critical.
And the best part I think is what comes next because as the story goes,
Her friend said to her,
Let's say it were me,
Kristen,
Her friend said to her something along the lines of,
Hey,
Don't you talk about my friend Kristen like that.
Meaning you don't talk about my friend you this way.
And I really,
Really love that because of course it's immediately a little jarring psychologically because you're like getting scolded for being unkind to yourself.
And I honestly think that we could do more of that.
And so in the spirit of self-kindness,
What I'd like for you to consider this week as you go into your week ahead is I would like for you to think about what are the ways that you could actually be more kind to yourself.
Now it could be an action or it could be the cessation of an action or choosing to not do something.
As far as an action,
What you could do is you could make choices that facilitate your own self-care.
And that could be something like,
You've heard me talk lots about not over-committing and signing up to do too much,
But what else would be kind that you could do for yourself?
Is it about sequestering yourself somewhere so that you get to do what you want to do,
Like read a book or go meet up a friend that you haven't caught up with if that's what really fills your bucket and feeds your soul.
So that you could think of as a form of self-kindness as far as an action.
Now I don't necessarily think that doing something that really isn't in your best interest is what you'd want to express as a form of self-kindness.
For example,
I want to be kind to myself so I'm going to eat like a dozen donuts.
You know,
I'm going to be kind to myself and I'm going to take the whole week off from work.
I mean there's something to be said for being like responsible and there's something to be said for being,
You know,
The things that we do that are in our best interest,
Our higher interest.
So this of course is not permission for you to just start doing things that are not good for you even though there's a part of you that might find that to be appealing.
And the other piece,
That's those actions,
The other thing I'm going to invite you to do is think about things that you can cease doing and maybe some of it is the negative self-talk whether you're verbalizing it or whether it's all just in your head like so many of us it is.
Just catching yourself when you do that and stopping it and just you don't have to beat yourself up because you're beating yourself up.
It's not helpful either but just stopping and being like I'm doing the best that I can.
That's all I can do.
I'm doing the best that I can.
That's all I can do.
You know,
This is how it is right now.
I accept myself.
I'm going to be kind to myself.
That's the only way to grow and evolve.
And so those are those are just like a little bit like nuggets as far as ways that you might want to consider bringing more kindness to yourself in this week and of course certainly beyond and if you can think of any other ones I would welcome your feedback in that regard things that work for you if you want to just reply to this email or comment or wherever it feels right for you to send that info my way I would appreciate it because I can use examples from my own experience and observations but everyone's different and I would love to hear what that might look like for you.
So let's go ahead and do our 10 minute meditation.
I'm going to get my timer set up.
And if you haven't already go ahead and take your seat.
Giving yourself a kindness and taking some of those deep belly breaths.
Allowing yourself just to settle in drop into your body instead of being that floating thought bubble above your head.
Get in to this flesh.
It's very grounding.
It's very comforting.
There is some self kindness to allowing yourself to be in your body.
Allowing your breathing to go back to its natural rhythm if you haven't already.
Knowing you can rest your awareness the object of your attention for this particular meditation as always can be your breath sensations associated with the breath around the nose,
Mouth,
Chest,
Abdomen.
You can also rest your awareness on sounds.
Sounds in the room and outside the room.
And of course you can also rest your awareness on body sensations.
Since we're focusing on self kindness not being critical of your body if it has some aches and pains or some discomfort.
Instead being kind to your body appreciating all that it does all day long.
The support of your feet and legs.
All the work that can be done with your hands and your mind and the senses that you have access to sight and sound,
Smell,
Taste and touch.
Having gratitude and extending kindness and appreciation to your body for all that it does for you.
And as you allow yourself just to settle in even further.
Knowing full well that it is inevitable that your mind will wander off to plans or recollections or ideas or lists.
That is expected not a problem.
And you've heard me say this before it's actually the moment that you notice that your mind has wandered that self awareness.
That is the metaphorical bicep curl of mindfulness.
So it's an opportunity not a problem.
If you were to be fully present for the whole 10 minutes you'd never get that opportunity.
So allow it to happen and then come back.
And when you're here,
When you are mindful and aware of the present moment,
Allow yourself just to relax and rest in that space.
You're taking a break from the constant following of your thoughts all day long,
Going wherever they take you.
You're just giving yourself a few moments of peace.
Allowing yourself just to rest in this moment before another thought pulls you away.
Just rest in this moment.
So let's sit in silence for a little bit.
I'll check in shortly.
All right.
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