Boundaries As A Support For Self-Care

This talk and meditation were originally shared at the beginning of the pandemic in March of 2020. While the external circumstances may be different, the value of boundaries as a form of self-care is still highly relevant. May it be of benefit.

Transcript

Hey there everybody,

This is Kristin from Teaching Balance and I'm here with you with this week's mindfulness meditation practice.

And we are in the month of mindful boundaries.

And for this week,

Now that we have explored the idea of boundaries with other people and boundaries with technology,

For this week I thought it would be interesting to talk about boundaries in general as being very supportive of your self-care.

So what I mean by that is,

Of course you know that I am very passionate about having people who are caregivers like you take the time and put forth the energy to put structures in place so that you can prioritize your self-care.

Now I know realistically how challenging that can be in light of the demands of our work and our families and all of that sort of thing.

And I also believe that it's useful to do what we can to help to maintain some of these self-care habits because they do ultimately serve us.

It's very easy as you and I both know to let the things that fill our bucket and contribute to our physical health to kind of let those fall by the wayside because of the demands of our work and our families and our lives.

And the problem with that as you know is that if we let it all slide for too long that's when we can find ourselves sliding into burnout and exhaustion both mental and physical and we're not filling our bucket and doing what we need to or the other one is sharpening our saw to make sure that we can have the resilience and the capacity to keep going and doing the important work that we do.

Again,

Work both professionally and personally.

And so my invitation for you this week is just to reflect on what are some of the boundaries that you have in place or could put into place that would very much be helpful and contribute to your ability to do whatever it is that you need to do to stay healthy,

To stay sane and happy and to be okay,

To care for yourself.

Now this can take a few different paths,

One of which certainly is the most obvious which I think is not overextending yourself.

Sometimes we commit to things that either we do as almost like a favor for someone but we're not really excited about it.

If anything,

We're filled with sort of resistance to it but even the moment we sign up for it and say yes and that just doesn't help us.

Not only is it really in the grand scheme of things not as helpful to the person or people who are asking you to make your contribution but it's also not helpful to you knowing that you need to take care of yourself.

So just thinking about are there things that you have agreed to to sign up for so to speak or things that you have allowed yourself to be a part of that you might want to consider opting out of.

And you guys have heard me talk about opting out and rain checks and all of that.

So it's just a reminder.

It's just an open seed to be planted regarding what are some things that maybe you can either cease participating in or maybe just tap out of for a little while and maybe go back another time even if it's just a mental health day or something like that.

So that's really the one thing when it comes to overextending yourself.

And then also when it comes to the idea of self-care and boundaries.

The other piece is also honoring the intentions that you've set for yourself that are around your wellness and your self-care.

So part of it is managing the external,

What are the things that you can adjust or eliminate to help facilitate you being able to rest and nourish yourself and move and do the things that fill your bucket.

So that's external.

And then also internally have you just kind of just lapsed because it's hard.

You've decided you want to try to lower your sugar intake or something like that,

Whatever.

It doesn't matter what the point is.

But you've made this decision.

You feel that it would be in your physical health best interest,

But then you know how it is.

It's hard.

You just see the donut or whatever it might be.

And so again,

I'm not talking about super strict,

Hardcore,

Intensive diet types of things,

But maybe you decided you just want to try to,

Like I said,

Cut down on something.

Checking in with yourself and revisiting that intention and perhaps coming back to it once again.

Not feeling bad about it.

I mean,

That's the other thing.

It's the last thing we need is to feel crappy about something that is all well intentioned.

You know what I mean?

Don't feel bad about the fact that you fell kind of off the wagon,

So to speak.

It's not a problem.

You're a human being.

You're flawed.

You make mistakes.

All the structures and all of our deeply ingrained habits really,

To some degree,

I hate to say it,

But they're almost conspiring against you to make these changes.

So change is hard in that regard.

So please be gentle with yourself.

But think about if you decided that you were going to have one evening to yourself a week to take a bath or read a book or whatever it might be,

Just trying to come back to that.

But again,

Always with this quality of gentleness,

Kindness,

Non-judgment,

But also the intention to revisit and to hopefully reestablish that boundary for yourself.

So we're talking about external boundaries,

Internal boundaries,

And all of it very much being for the purpose of supporting and sustaining our self-care.

So just some things to think about.

Again,

Not in a way where you're feeling bad.

And of course,

If you're watching this,

That's amazing because you are in your mindfulness practice space right now.

So let's go ahead and do our meditation together.

If you haven't already,

Find your seat and let's invite in some of those deeper breaths.

It can be dramatic and make a noise or it can be completely silent.

It doesn't matter.

Doing a quick and always with gentleness,

Check in with your posture.

Typically I have to give myself the gentle reminder to roll my shoulders back because I have a quality of hunching most of the time.

So rolling the shoulders back,

Opening up the chest.

Sitting in a way that feels supportive.

And I don't know if I've used this phrase in a while,

Sitting in a way that exemplifies your inherent dignity.

I love that because you do have deep intrinsic dignity in who you are.

And of course,

All of the boundaries you choose to establish are consistent with this quality of dignity,

Self-care and self-respect.

So really embody that space.

It's not self-important or self-aggrandizing.

It is really about self-love.

And you know,

Of course,

You can rest your awareness either on the breath or the body or sounds.

For this recording,

We have snow melt coming off of the roof and the eaves.

So for me,

I'm hearing a lot of dripping in the gutters and the downspouts.

So I think that's probably where I'll rest my attention for our practice today.

You do whatever is most supportive for you.

And in that spirit,

Remembering this is in a space where you put a lot of pressure on yourself.

You just allow yourself to be with how things are.

So sit in silence for a while and remembering if your mind wanders,

Just bring it back.

It's not a problem.

It's just that you don't know what to do.

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Reviews

This was my first meditation with you! I just loved the 'self love/me day' and that is what today will be...
Thanks ❤️