Practicing Saying 'No', A 14-Minute Meditation (No Music)

Join me in on a journey to help you say "no" politely but firmly. Visualize serene, peaceful settings as you practice asserting your boundaries with confidence. This meditation includes scenarios with the people in your life, helping you build the strength to honor your own needs and maintain your self-respect.

Remember, it's okay to say "no" when you need to.

No Music on this version.

Transcript

Hi, I've been noticing how many people around me are having trouble saying no. Do you struggle with that, Saying no to people and end up over committing? Or maybe hiding out because you're afraid of having to say no? People pleasing is tough, So let's go ahead and spend a little time together practicing saying no and really dropping into what that feels like to own your no. In consent training, We do like to explain that when you are saying no to a grown-ass person, It's their job to take care of their feelings of disappointment and rejection. This goes for all of us because we're grown-ups, Right? I don't want to invalidate that disappointment and rejection can be really hard, And it can be very hard to feel responsible for someone else's feelings of disappointment and rejection, Which is why we want to temper our no with kindness, But also stay clear with our boundaries. Does that sound like a helpful exercise? I hope so. Let's go ahead and get started. Go ahead and sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Let's make sure you're really comfortable. Whatever you need to do to get just that little bit more comfortable, Please do that. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in, And then a nice loud sighing exhale. I love doing that. It's supposed to release endorphins, And who doesn't love a good endorphin? Let's continue to breathe deeply and slowly, Arriving in the space, Allowing yourself to relax with each breath. Breathing in, Breathing out, Release. Let go of any tension in your body. Clear your mind of any distractions. I know that's not easy. I like to wiggle personally. I'm a very wiggly person, So I like to have a little wiggle to help release the tension, Maybe a little stretch. This is a really good chance to take care of yourself, So oh get a little stretch in if that feels good. Beautiful. Now, Let's see if we can calm the nervous system a little in advance of saying no. Imagine yourself in a peaceful, Safe place. This could be a quiet beach, Or a serene forest, Or just a cozy room. Take a moment and visualize every detail of this place, The colors, The sounds, The smells. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, Or the gentle breeze around you. Allow yourself to really ease into this tranquil environment, Feeling completely at ease and safe, And absolutely your authentic self. I know inside of you there is a brave, Courageous person. There is a person who's very strong, And very kind, And very wise. We are calling on that part of you, Giving it some space to practice, And breathe, And speak your no. Now, Picture a situation where you really wish you had said no to somebody. Maybe don't pick the toughest thing. Pick something that would be nice to imagine and practice, What it would have been like if you had been able to say no. Could be a recent scenario, Or a common situation you encounter. See the person in front of you. What is their request? Hear their words of their initial request, And tune in. What was your initial reaction? What were the thoughts or the feelings in your body when they made their request? Maybe it's a friend asking for a favor, Or a colleague requesting something from you, Or a family member wanting you to attend an event. Take a deep breath. Let's try to center with a breath. Feel a sense of strength and calm within you. Remember, It's not happening right now. We're just rehearsing. Imagine a warm golden light surrounding you. It's like a force field, Or a field of energy that you draw strength from. This field of light surrounding you gives you all of the confidence and clarity that you need. Take a moment to really feel that. The light is your shield, Protecting you, And empowering you to speak your truth. In your mind, Visualize yourself responding to this person. You say, No, Politely but firmly. Go ahead and say it aloud. No. No. No. Repeat after me. Let's say it together, Actually. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. All right, Since we're polite, We're going to say, No, Thank you. No, Thank you. No, Thanks. No. No. No, Thank you. No. Now, Let's try this together. Just repeat after me. I appreciate you thinking of me. You got that? I appreciate you thinking of me, But I have to decline. Let's do it together again. Say it aloud. I appreciate you thinking of me, But I have to decline. How does that feel? Remember, We're just practicing. Let's try another. Thank you for the offer, But I won't be able to participate. Thank you for the offer. You got that? Excellent. But I won't be able to participate. But I won't be able to participate. Notice the tone of your voice. Calm, Steady, And kind. Imagine the expression on your face. Sincere and respectful. I appreciate you thinking of me, But I need to decline. Thank you for the offer, But I won't be able to participate. Now, Imagine the person reacting. They might be surprised. They might be disappointed. Or they could be understanding. Whatever their reaction, Remind yourself, It's okay. They're going to be okay. You get to set boundaries and take care of your own needs. And they get to set boundaries and take care of their own needs. Of course, We want to be respectful and relational. But sometimes we do need to say no. And that is okay. Draw on that golden light around you. Let it strengthen you. Reassuring that you are doing the right thing for yourself right now. Now, Let's just imagine this beautiful world in which this grown-up adult person responds with understanding and respect. They might say, Thank you for your no. Or maybe they say, Thank you for being honest. I appreciate you taking care of yourself. Wow, What does that feel like? Maybe that's not the response you usually get when you've tried to say no, Maybe in your earlier life, Or maybe with certain people. Just let yourself feel what happens internally when you receive a respectful response to your no. Again, Just imagine, Here I am, I'm being that person, Voicing that person for you. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for your no. Or maybe they even say, I appreciate you taking care of yourself. Feel the warmth and gratitude in their words. Don't we all long for people to be kind and honest with us? Wouldn't you always rather know if someone doesn't really want to do something? As long as they communicate it with kindness. Even if this might not always happen in real life, Even if people don't always respond with kindness and respect, Allow yourself to experience this affirmation of your no in this moment. Do you feel that sense of relief and empowerment that comes from standing up for yourself? Allow that feeling to fill you completely. Say to yourself, I can stand up for myself. I can speak my truth. I can speak my truth. I can speak my no. Let's do that again. I can stand up for myself. I can speak my no. Ah, That golden light around you is getting even stronger. Know that you are not responsible for other people's reactions. Only your own actions and well-being can. We do want to be relational. We want to take care of our relationships. But we always are looking for that balance between taking care of ourselves and taking care of our relationships. And sometimes one of the best ways to take care of a relationship is to set a clear, Firm boundary. And voice your no. Continue to breathe deeply. And with each exhale, Let go of any remaining doubts or fears about saying no. Visualize the golden light around you growing brighter and warmer, Enveloping you in a protective and empowering embrace. You've got this. Now go out into the world and practice saying no on the small things.