Coping With Sorrow

When suffering from sorrow, and longing for a solution or escape, this guided meditation is designed to soothe. Though you may feel alone in your unique suffering, sorrow has many sources (heartbreak, loneliness, conflict, ill health), so it's a universal ordeal. A reminder that sorrow is a shared human experience may help one feel a little less isolated. In that shared humanity may we find comfort. And perhaps, a thread of hope that we, too, will endure, as others have before us. In the meantime, reminders to hold ourselves gently, and practice self-compassion, are key to moving forward through a difficult period.

Photo by Veronica Wu

Transcript

I have no idea what is happening to you right now.

I don't know what sorrow is visiting.

Are your parents getting a divorce?

Has someone broken up with you?

Are you hungry?

Are you cold?

Are you thirsty?

Have you lost someone?

Is someone angry at you or are you angry at them?

Are you longing for someone?

Are you lonely?

Are you in physical pain?

Do you feel left out?

Are you in a fight?

Are you losing an argument?

Have you lost your job?

Have you had a serious injury?

Did you get a bad diagnosis?

I don't know what your sorrow is today,

But even if I have not experienced it,

I know somebody has.

You may feel alone,

But you are not alone in having this experience.

Maybe what's happening to you is waking you up to the experience of being human,

And you may wish that you could have stayed asleep for this part.

Maybe you're angry or scared,

The worries consuming,

But remember you are not alone.

People have been on this path before and people will tread it again.

Can you imagine reaching out to them and saying,

There,

There,

I am here.

I won't leave you.

We might endure this together.

And then maybe you can imagine saying that to yourself.

Can you picture the sorrow inside of you?

This emotion?

Where is it?

Is it in the belly,

The chest,

The throat?

What is the sensation that lets you know that you're feeling this hard experience so deeply?

And then can you imagine enough space inside of you,

The part of you that's aware can step back from it and hold it with enormous self-compassion to sit peacefully with it right now.

To watch the storm inside of you with curiosity mixed with deep empathy.

And the sorrow,

These feelings,

This overwhelm,

This breaking heart,

This is what makes you human.

This is what binds us together.

Even as you feel so alone.

This is what makes you stand in companionship with others.

And it calls for such an awareness of your suffering.

It's so bad when you can't push the pain away,

Ignore it,

Flee from it.

There's really nothing to be done but pass through it.

But how do we endure?

With that self love,

With the awareness that life does not start happy,

Stay happy,

And end happy.

That even in the midst of great sorrow or loss,

There can be moments of sweetness.

And even the moments that are utterly painful,

We might find the sweetness of self compassion.

And if we're very lucky,

Get the gift of another's compassion.

Pause here for a few breaths.

Can you deeply notice everything about this feeling?

If it is too much,

You can come back to your breath over and over again.

And come back to feeling your body,

A lot of the weight of gravity to pull you down into a relaxing feeling,

A grounding.

What are the points of contact between you and what supports you?

Can you increase that sense of touch and pressure in those points?

Can you let yourself grow heavy?

Release the jaw,

Space between the back teeth,

Tongue loose in your mouth.

Soften the back of your neck.

Let your shoulders melt down away from your ears.

Maybe your shoulder blades come a little closer together across your back.

Chest falls open and soft.

Allow the belly to relax.

Arms and legs heavy where they land.

Hands and feet soft.

What is it like to feel the air in the room on your skin?

What is it like to hear sounds?

What is it like to breathe?

Can you bring your attention to tracking the entire track of your breath?

Can you feel the entirety of your outer body?

You are here.

You are here.

You are starting here and you will find your way back to happiness.

Because life doesn't also start sad,

Stay sad and end sad.

We can still find moments of connection,

Love,

The sweetness of food or nature or animals,

Or if you're lucky,

Loved ones.

The joys of laughter,

Rest and sleep.

But for right now,

Allow the past to melt away.

Let go of the future.

Sit with patience in this moment.

Noticing exactly what it feels like to be you on this particular day,

In this particular hour,

In this moment of your life.

Imagine hugging yourself with self compassion and love as if you were hugging five year old you.

There there you say things will get better.

Long slow inhale,

Expand the belly,

Fill the lungs.

Soft exhale,

Sigh it out.

Extra long out breath.

I wish you well.

I wish you the blessing of relief and soon.

In the meantime,

I will join you in the space of our shared humanity,

Shared sorrow.

And I imagine sitting with you holding your hand and breathing together.

Noticing and enduring.

Such a strong,

Brave,

Patient word.

Endurance.

Breathe,

Notice,

Allow,

Let go.

Peace.