For this practice we actually need to bring to mind a difficulty,
Perhaps something that is going on now or from the recent past.
So I'd like to ask you to think of a situation now that is difficult for you.
Maybe you're having stress at the moment,
Have a health problem,
A challenging relationship or you're worried about something and inviting you to think about the situation that is challenging but not overwhelmingly difficult to be with,
Especially if you are new to practicing the self-compassion break.
So getting in touch with the situation,
What happened,
What might happen,
Who was there,
What was said.
Really bringing the situation to your mind's eye and when you come in touch with the situation acknowledging this is tricky,
Slowly and gently saying to yourself this is suffering,
This is what stress feels like.
Choosing the language that speaks to you,
With something perhaps like this is really hard right now,
This hurts,
Or here is struggling.
Bringing mindful awareness to the fact that suffering is present,
Acknowledging it,
Noting how it feels in your body,
Perhaps there is tightness somewhere in the jaw or shoulders perhaps or heaviness around the chest,
Fluttering in the tummy,
Really tuning into what your body feels like.
Also noting any thoughts that come with the situation,
Any emotions,
Maybe you feel worried,
Afraid,
Sad,
Hurt,
Really just noticing what this feels like.
This is the element of mindfulness.
And in the second part becoming aware of how suffering is part of life.
Often we feel that we are the only one,
But actually many people feel this way.
Say to yourself something like I'm not the only one feeling these feelings,
This is normal,
I'm not alone.
Suffering is part of being human,
This is just how it feels when a person struggles,
This is how it feels.
Reminding ourselves of our common humanity.
And in the third step you might like to offer yourself some kindness.
May I be kind to myself in this moment?
To support bringing kindness to yourself perhaps placing your hand or both hands over your heart or over your tummy or another place on your body that feels soothing and comforting.
Feeling the warmth of your hand,
A gentle touch,
Maybe sensing your chest rising and falling beneath your hands or your tummy gently moving in and out.
Letting the kindness and care be felt through your hand.
And using any language that feels kind to you.
What is it that I need to hear right now?
Not because you would need to change how you feel,
But for the very reason that you are experiencing something that is difficult.
May I be kind to myself?
May I accept myself as I am?
May I forgive myself?
May I trust myself?
May I be safe in this moment?
Perhaps using language you would use with a good friend who is going through a difficult time which is similar to yours.
Maybe something like I'm here for you.
It's okay not to feel okay right now.
Let me look after you.
You can also use your first name.
I care about you.
And adding your name.
Any language you choose to express your deep wish to look after yourself in the moment that is difficult.
Can you offer the same message to yourself as you would to a good friend?
To someone who is struggling.
Wishing you will be free and happy and at peace.
Free from pain and struggle.
If you feel the emotion is taking over too much,
You can always return to your anchor like your breath or contact of the body through your feet for example.
Or anything that helps you to steady and ground.
Coming back to the phrases when it feels okay.
You can continue like this as long as you like and when you feel ready letting go of the practice.
Noticing how your body feels right now.
Allowing any sensations to be just as they are.
Allowing yourself to be just as you are in this moment.
