The Most Important Meditation Practice: Patience

The Buddha was once asked, “What is the most important thing for us to practice?” His answer was simple: patience (or khanti, in Pali). Happily, this vital quality is something we can learn to apply to everything we struggle with in our lives - every person, situation, and even ourselves - in order to become much more peaceful, self-controlled, compassionate, and undisturbed by life itself.
This talk explores the many different ways that we can do this. It includes a 10-minute meditation to the end.

Transcript

So as most of you who listen to these talks now probably know,

I almost always pick a topic that relates to whatever it is that I've been working on myself and this month is no different.

So along with weathering the great storm of the pandemic,

Which I know we all experienced together even though we were all in many different boats,

If you will,

And each had our own experiences,

I have to confess that the past several years have probably been the most challenging of my entire adult life.

In fact,

Until very recently,

It was just one of those times where the rug just kept getting pulled out from under me on many different levels,

One big thing after another big thing,

With very little time in between any one particular big crisis for me to truly regain a solid sense of ground or footing.

And I know we've likely all been through these stormy periods in our lives when the rug has just been pulled out so many times that it no longer feels like we're standing on solid earth,

But maybe more like we're falling through the air,

Not really knowing where we're going to land or when or how hard.

And so during that time,

One particular one particular phrase that kept coming to mind was from my very favorite,

But it's not in Pema Chodron who told us this.

She said to be fully alive,

Fully human and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.

To live fully is to be always in no man's land,

To experience each moment as completely new and fresh.

To live is to be willing to die over and over again.

And I just love this because what she's pointing to is one of the main tenets of the Buddhist teachings,

Which is the truth that everything in this world,

Including ourselves,

Is in a constant state of impermanence or a Nietzsche in Pali change without end,

Which essentially means that the rug or the ground that we're all trying to reach or maybe land on doesn't actually exist.

And because it doesn't exist,

Our practice itself is really asking us to repeatedly discover or maybe rediscover that place of ground or balance within ourselves.

And so obviously,

We don't do this just once,

But we do this over and over again.

And so reminding ourselves of this truth is really important.

And it's also important to deeply acknowledge that sometimes there's just going to be those times in our lives when it's going to be incredibly difficult for us to maintain or reestablish or maybe even find that sort of ground for ourselves.

So for instance,

To go back to Pemba's quote,

When a baby bird is thrown into the nest or maybe jumps out of the nest all on its own,

We mostly assume that at some point,

It's going to find its footing somewhere,

Don't we?

Now we tend to believe or maybe hope that this bird is eventually going to land.

We probably also assume that after the bird has found some solid footing to stand on,

Even a small branch,

That it's going to be able to push off again and fly.

But what happens if that bird just keeps falling and falling and falling,

Maybe for a really long time,

Maybe even for years?

Or to put it another way,

What happens when we ourselves can't seem to find any sort of ground beneath us?

When we can't seem to find even one small branch where we can just rest for a while?

What do we do then?

So for me,

During my own long period of falling,

One of the things that helped me the most was to practice,

Which means not perfectly,

Something the Buddha called khyante,

Which in English is often translated as patience.

But of course,

With all these Pali words,

It really means so much more.

In the teachings,

There's a great short exchange between the Buddha and his first cousin Ananda,

Who also happens to be the Buddha's most dedicated student and companion,

Where Ananda asked him,

Lord,

What is the most important thing for a monk to practice?

And just for a moment,

We might even pause here and consider how closely we might want to listen for the Buddha himself to answer that question.

What is the most important thing for us to practice?

And I realized that if you've read the topic of this talk,

You probably already have guessed how the Buddha replied,

Which was to say khyante,

Patience.

And honestly,

I always a little sad that I didn't learn about that short exchange when I first started practicing more than 30 years ago now,

Because I think it might have saved me a whole lot of time.

Essentially,

What this means is that through this practice,

We're being asked to train ourselves to develop a strong sense of patience with everything,

With all situations,

With other people,

Life itself,

And probably most importantly,

Ourselves.

And so I personally find knowing the Buddha's answer to his cousin's question so helpful and encouraging.

I also really like the description of patience from the Dalai Lama,

Who tells us,

Patience guards us against losing our presence of mind.

It enables us to remain undisturbed,

Even when the situation is really difficult.

It gives us a certain amount of inner peace,

Which allows us some self-control so that we can choose to respond to situations in an appropriate and compassionate manner,

Rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions.

And if we think about it,

That really about sums it up,

Doesn't it?

It sort of summarizes how we ideally want to be in this world,

Which is patient and peaceful,

Self-controlled,

Appropriate,

Compassionate,

And undisturbed by life itself.

One of my teachers,

Bhikkhunalya,

Has very famously summed up our entire practice in just four words,

Which I know many of you who listen to these talks likely know by heart,

Because I use them so often.

And these four words are keep calmly knowing change.

Keep calmly knowing change.

That's it,

Our whole practice.

And I bring this up because it occurs to me that if we think about it,

This entire phrase actually is pointing directly at our practice of kante,

Patience.

And so we might even be able to condense Bhikkhunalya's excellent four-word phrase down to just one simple word,

Patience.

In fact,

If we think about Bhikkhunalya's summary,

Essentially what we're being asked to do is to calmly,

Which means patiently,

Recognize and know that everything,

Including ourselves,

Is constantly shifting and changing.

And that again,

That stable ground that we're all searching for doesn't exist except for the stability that we're being asked to discover within ourselves through this practice.

I also want to point out here that patience is considered the main antidote to anger,

Or what we might think of as the quality of aversion or are not wanting.

This is the main antidote to our not wanting.

And of course,

Aversion includes a whole range of feelings,

Starting with a very minor irritation,

Frustration,

Annoyance,

To even more challenging feelings like resentment,

Bitterness,

Jealousy,

Even rage.

So these feelings of aversion are really the key because the truth is,

We absolutely also experience the very same feelings whenever we're really wanting something,

Don't we?

So for instance,

We can feel irritated,

Frustrated,

Annoyed,

Resentful,

Jealous,

And even rageful about not being able to get what we want,

Right?

And so when we're considering aversion and the vast range of feelings that this encompasses,

We might also remember that aversion is not only considered the greatest threat to our mindfulness practice,

But also to our ability to discover peace and ease in this life itself.

And again,

That the main,

Most important antidote for this,

For all of it,

Is this vital quality of patience.

And so given this,

It can be really helpful to understand more clearly how the Buddha describes this quality so that we can better understand how to start practicing it more.

The teachings,

Khyentse has said to have three main qualities,

And it's important to remember that these aren't really separate.

They're very intimately intertwined in order to create this quality of patience as a whole.

These three are a gentle or compassionate forbearance,

A calm endurance of hardship,

And a recognition and acceptance of the truth.

I'll repeat that.

A gentle or compassionate forbearance,

A calm endurance of hardship,

And a recognition and acceptance of the truth.

So with that first quality of patience,

A gentle or compassionate forbearance,

We might notice two main practices that we actually need to apply first whenever we're feeling impatient about something.

These are the qualities of compassion or karuna in the Pali language,

And gentleness or madhava in Pali,

Both of which are considered divine qualities of heart.

And so whenever we're feeling impatient,

We almost immediately want to gently and compassionately recognize and acknowledge how hard it is,

Right,

To be faced with whatever we're struggling with,

Which again can be something relatively minor or temporary,

Or it could be something much more challenging or long term.

So especially if we've been sort of flying through the air,

If you will,

For much longer than we expected,

We really want to remember to offer ourselves our own gentleness and compassion for the fact that this just does not feel good,

You know,

For the fact that it's hard.

And this might just seem like common sense,

But the truth is that so often,

We're usually just so busy trying to figure a way to wiggle out or away from our difficult feelings that we don't even attempt to offer ourselves any kind of compassion or gentleness,

Or even to remember that we need this.

And so one of the ways we can start to develop patience is by using our mindfulness practice to notice when we're doing this kind of wiggling or squirming or running away,

Avoiding,

Etc.

So if you'll stay with me,

We might imagine for a moment that again,

We are that baby bird,

And maybe the particular nest we find ourselves in feels in some way uncomfortable or unpleasant,

Might even feel very old or hot or claustrophobic,

Just completely overcrowded with maybe ancient,

Stinky beliefs,

If you will.

For the most part,

Whenever we're experiencing this,

It just makes sense that we mostly want to just immediately jump out,

Right?

We often just have no patience for simply being here.

And on top of this,

Often when we realize that we can't immediately jump or squirm out of that uncomfortable place,

What we then tend to do is something that is very common,

Which is to resort to blame.

So for instance,

Instead of just acknowledging that we're experiencing something unpleasant,

We tend to focus all of our attention on finding out who or what is to blame for whatever's happening,

Or for whatever we're experiencing.

It's like we have an almost automatic response that involves an underlying belief that somehow,

Somewhere,

Someone has to be responsible for this.

And we usually also have an underlying belief that the responsible party needs to be held accountable.

And sadly,

This type of blaming can just be never ending,

And can go on for years and years.

We might recognize this in the form of beliefs that convince us that I should or shouldn't have,

Or it should or shouldn't have,

Or he,

She,

They should or shouldn't have,

Et cetera.

And so as a practice,

We might even begin to notice how much energy we might be putting into all these distracting shoulds,

Maybe by imagining them as bees swarming around our nest.

Sometimes when we start to pay attention to them,

We might realize that maybe there's really only a few of them.

Maybe they're not really bothering that much.

But at other times,

We might recognize that maybe there's just a whole swarm of them buzzing around,

Stinging us over and over.

And especially when we've been blaming ourselves,

This can just make whatever we're feeling that much more painful.

And so either way,

Whenever we can use our mindfulness practice to finally catch one of those bees,

If you will,

It can just feel so satisfying.

It feels so satisfying to more clearly see how we've been distracting ourselves with all of these shoulds.

We might even imagine ourselves saying something like,

Aha,

I gotcha.

You know,

When we can finally see what we've been doing.

And so this is one of the ways we can use our mindfulness practice to really become much more aware of all the ways we're in some way trying to jump out,

Or maybe away from that uncomfortable place.

Again,

By either running,

Avoiding,

Distracting ourselves or by trying to focus on who is to blame.

On the other hand,

We also want to become more aware of all the ways our impatience might be showing up in the form of trying to jump in.

For instance,

We might notice that we want to jump in and fight like hell with something,

Right?

Or we might immediately want to jump in and try to defend ourselves.

This jumping in might also express itself in the form of trying to somehow prop ourselves up because we just have no patience for losing any egotistical ground,

If you will.

Another common way this jumping in can show up is in the form of immediately trying to fix something.

Like right now,

Instead of calmly,

Patiently enduring whatever it is that might be happening,

Or what we might be feeling or believing.

And by the way,

We not only do this with our own struggles,

But many of us also have a tendency to do this when others are struggling.

So often,

We just don't have a lot of patience for allowing people to simply feel whatever they're feeling or to experience whatever they're experiencing.

And so instead,

We become impatient with them.

And we might feel the urge to either jump away,

Or fight them,

Or judge or blame them.

Or maybe we again,

Jump in by showering them with whatever we believe is somehow going to fix them,

Or fix the situation that they currently find themselves in,

Which in some way we're hoping will make their uncomfortable feelings go away.

But the truth is,

Their feelings are usually making us uncomfortable.

And so if you've ever been on the receiving end of this,

You might recall how painful it can be.

And so if you allow me to stick with this image of a baby bird,

We might now imagine that as that bird,

Maybe we find that we've been kicked out of the nest,

Or maybe we've tried leaping out of the nest by ourselves.

But instead of flying,

Where we find ourselves is splat on the concrete,

Right?

Maybe feeling emotionally bruised or even injured.

Again,

Maybe this has happened over and over again.

And so in any case,

Whenever we find ourselves here,

We might imagine that the gentle or compassionate forbearance part of our patience practice is like a kind person who might lean over,

Very gently cradle us in their hands in some way,

And offer us some kind words of empathy and understanding,

And then help us to stand and steady ourselves,

Or maybe even return us to the nest to try again.

In the Tibetan Shambhala tradition,

Which is my first tradition,

There's actually a great image that I like to remember that describes the kind of calm,

Gentle,

Loving patience that we want to offer ourselves whenever we're feeling impatient or when we're experiencing difficult feelings.

This is an image of a mother bird who protects and cares for her young until they are strong enough to fly away.

And in the teachings,

This is the practice of quote,

Placing our fearful mind in the cradle of loving kindness,

Placing our fearful mind in the cradle in the cradle of loving kindness.

And here,

What's important to remember is that when we're doing this,

We're asking ourselves to be both,

Right,

Both the mother and the baby.

And so we want to not only offer ourselves our own gentle care and patience,

We also want to actually allow ourselves to truly rest and receive this gentle care,

Which as we all know,

Can often be one of the most difficult parts of this practice to actually give ourselves this.

This type of gentleness or medava is just so important because it is said to come out of a sense of compassion,

Care,

And also deep respect.

And here,

I really want to emphasize that this practice of gentleness is not in any way fluffy,

Soft,

Or naive.

It actually takes a great amount of training,

Effort,

Strength,

And wisdom to offer our gentleness.

In fact,

Offering the opposite of gentleness takes much less effort,

Much less mindfulness,

Thoughtfulness,

Or strength.

In the Zen tradition,

There's a great description of how we can apply this kind of gentleness in a story about a man who comes running into a temple where a Zen master is sitting.

In his rush,

The man sort of loudly and haphazardly throws his shoes off right before he bows down at the master's feet and asks the master,

Please teach me about the dharma.

And in his calm,

Patient way,

The Zen master replies,

I will,

But first you need to learn to respect your shoes.

How we take care of inner objects reveals the state of the mind.

This medava or gentleness is a disposition of the mind.

When someone has the state of mind,

All their actions have this quality.

And so to continue,

We might again imagine that as that baby bird again,

We have just very gently been picked up and placed back into the nest and have really offered ourselves our own compassion and gentleness.

But now maybe we're just feeling totally exhausted or confused or frustrated,

Or maybe even hurt,

You know,

Either emotionally or physically,

Or maybe both.

And we really just don't want to be in the nest.

Again,

Maybe we're adverse to it.

And what we want instead is just to fly the hell out of there,

Right?

And feel free.

But if we try to leap out the same way that we did before,

It's very likely that we're just going to get hurt in the same way again.

So it's actually really important for us to stop and rest here a while and truly take care of ourselves before we try again.

So whenever we find ourselves here in this place,

Feeling stuck and impatient with these feelings that we really don't want to be feeling,

It can be so helpful to remember the quality of patience that involves a,

Quote,

Calm endurance of hardship.

With this particular quality,

I really want to stress that this endurance does not in any way mean that we're being asked to be passive,

Right?

So we aren't in any way being asked to stuff anything or grit our teeth and bear it.

We're also not being asked to put up with anyone's bad behavior.

And we also aren't being asked to just give up in despair or to not try again or to not try to do something different.

That's not what that means.

What we are being asked to do is to very clearly recognize what's happening and to nurture a real acceptance of this,

To really honestly recognize the situation that we find ourselves in.

We might even recall that our practice of patience involves a,

Quote,

Recognition and acceptance of the truth,

Which means we're being asked to accept our experience exactly as it is with all its suffering rather than how we want it to be.

So in fact,

Whenever we're feeling impatient with a person,

Situation,

Or even ourselves,

We might notice that there's usually a gap between what is and how we want it to be.

So this is our classic ongoing battle between craving and aversion,

Wanting,

Not wanting,

Or maybe between our hope and our fear.

And as the teachings show us,

It's not our wanting or not wanting that causes us to suffer.

It's our strong attachment to these things or our attachment to wanting ourselves,

Other people,

Situations,

Life itself,

Really,

To be exactly as we want it to be all the time.

In other words,

To paraphrase the modern day teacher Adi Ashanti,

Whenever we battle with reality,

We suffer.

Whenever we battle with reality,

We suffer.

In the Buddhist teachings,

There's a classic story called the parable of the two arrows that points to the pain of our impatience,

Where the Buddha describes what happens to us when we don't want to be with the ache of whatever's happening.

In this parable,

When something unpleasant happens,

That's the first arrow,

And we feel the sting of it,

The ouch.

And by the way,

This could be something really minor,

Like someone asking us to do something we don't want to do.

Or it could be something much more impactful,

Like maybe a bad health diagnosis or a financial crisis or a big breakup,

Et cetera.

In either case,

That first arrow is the sting.

It's where we're simply recognizing,

Okay,

Wow,

This is a moment of suffering.

I'm right now experiencing something unpleasant or painful or upsetting.

The second arrow is the one that we stab into ourselves,

Maybe over and over again.

And this includes all of our stories and commentary and beliefs about what's happening,

Along with all the ways that we might automatically be reacting to what's happening,

Maybe in unskillful or harmful or,

Again,

In impatient ways.

So the idea is that the first ouch,

That first arrow,

It's usually completely out of our control and unpredictable,

Just like the weather.

We really have no control about how,

When,

Or in what form it will arrive or how we react to the initial sting of something.

It's just automatic,

Right?

Something happens,

Someone says something,

And we feel a sting,

An ouch.

But how we experience that second arrow is really up to us.

After the first one,

We then get to decide how many times we want to stab ourselves,

Right?

And in what way and for how long.

There's a very common Buddhist phrase that relates to the story,

Which is,

Pain is inevitable,

Suffering is optional.

Pain is inevitable,

Suffering is optional.

And so part of this calm endurance of hardship,

Part of patience,

Means that we need to first become willing to gently and compassionately be with the ouch of that first arrow as it arises and passes,

While also becoming patient enough to take a good,

Hard look at all the ways that we might be stabbing ourselves with that second arrow.

And one of the best mindfulness tools that I know of that is so helpful for discovering this kind of patience is a practice that involves the acronym STOP.

S-T-O-P.

And this has also often been called the sacred pause,

The sacred pause.

I actually really love this practice because even though it's not so easy to do,

It's actually super easy to remember,

Right?

Stop.

Especially if we can remember that that first letter S is simply asking us to do exactly that,

Which is to stop.

The hard part about this initial step is that it's asking us to,

Again,

Recognize our need to stop,

Right?

To notice that we've been struck by some sort of arrow,

Or maybe we might imagine that it's asking us to recognize that we're bleeding.

So,

You know,

Maybe the arrow has given us a minor scratch.

It still stings,

And we still want to acknowledge it and offer ourselves our compassion for experiencing the scratch,

But we can recognize that it's just a scratch.

It's temporary.

It's not so significant.

What I find so interesting about this,

Though,

Is that it is the times that we most need to stop and recognize that we're bleeding,

Maybe a lot,

That is also the time that we just won't allow ourselves to do this and pay attention because it just feels too overwhelming,

Right?

And as you might imagine,

This is exactly where we start to either jump in or jump out.

And so that first step can be really monumental sometimes to simply recognize this need to stop.

So the second part of that step,

If you will,

Is to actually do it,

Right?

To stop.

And here we might literally physically stop or pause,

Maybe close our eyes and maybe even place a hand on our hearts.

As we're doing this,

We might acknowledge that what we're asking of ourselves is to courageously and patiently face whatever it is that's happening,

Again,

With great compassion and gentleness.

And because this can often be so challenging,

The next step can help us to really stay with this.

And this is the T in stop,

Which stands for take a breath,

Take a breath.

And honestly,

Just one simple breath sometimes can really help us with this to stop,

Especially,

For instance,

In an argument or when someone has just said something rude to us or challenging.

Just one breath can often save us from doing or saying something we just can't take back.

In fact,

Sometimes just one good,

Long,

Conscious,

Compassionate breath might even stop an entire relationship from crumbling.

And so to continue after we've stopped and taken a breath,

Our next step is the O in stop,

Which is another difficult part because it involves opening up to the ouch,

Really allowing ourselves to truly feel it finally and stop avoiding it.

And for most of us,

This is almost always a step that we want to jump over or away from,

Again,

Because it's exactly the place that we've been avoiding.

But this step,

Allowing ourselves to truly feel whatever we're feeling,

Is actually the most important one because the truth is,

When we can when we can finally allow ourselves to stop stuffing or avoiding whatever it is that we've been feeling and allow ourselves to more clearly see it and feel it,

This is where we find the possibility of freedom,

The place where something absolutely new can emerge.

And it really can feel like a breath of fresh air.

The way I often like to describe this is to imagine what it might feel like to hold a beach ball under the ocean,

Right?

Maybe for a few hours or a day or a week or even years.

Just imagine how much effort that would take to hold it down and how absolutely exhausting that would be and to sense what a relief it would be to simply loosen up and let it rise to the surface and be seen.

Very similar to how every single human on this planet does not want to be suppressed,

Tied down,

Put away,

Judged,

Criticized,

Or hidden.

Our own emotions do not want this type of treatment either,

Right?

Our emotions want our kind,

Compassionate,

Loving presence and attention.

They want to be acknowledged and seen and heard and to be able to express themselves.

And of course,

Just as we wouldn't want other people to act out on their emotions,

We also don't want to allow ourselves to simply act out of our emotions,

Especially in harmful or unskillful ways.

So again,

We simply want to acknowledge them,

Feel them,

And really listen to them.

Because if we can allow this,

The truth is that they always,

Always have something important to teach us and to tell us.

And as we all know,

When we don't listen to our emotions,

They have a tendency to stick around and keep showing up again and again in all sorts of unpleasant and unwelcome ways until we finally have the courage to just sit down with them and listen to what they've been trying to tell us.

So that is the O in STOP,

To open up to the ouch or maybe open to the ocean.

Once we've allowed this,

And we can maybe more clearly see that beach ball,

If you will,

This is where we can now use our mindfulness practice to question whatever it is we've been telling ourselves about a particular situation or about ourselves to really see these beliefs much more clearly.

And once we've done this,

This is going to lead us to the last step in the STOP process,

Which is the P,

Which stands for either proceed or to park,

Which by the way,

Is also an option.

In fact,

Making the choice to park is often a good sign that our patience is actually working when we can very consciously,

Mindfully choose to wait or maybe to not do anything at all.

And so if you'll recall the parable of those two arrows and the truth that we only have control over that second arrow,

How we respond,

This final part of the STOP practice is exactly where we now have this choice.

This is where we get to consider what is the wisest,

Most compassionate response to the situation or to the situation,

Another person,

Or even myself,

Right?

What now?

What's next?

And finally,

As we're out of time to go all the way back to the beginning,

The point is that we're not going to be able to get here to this place of being able to choose until we can actually allow ourselves to be patient,

If you will,

And practice being patient with whatever it is that we're feeling,

Which again,

To summarize,

Means that we are agreeing to be with whatever we're struggling with,

With a gentle,

Compassionate forbearance,

A calm endurance of hardship,

And maybe most importantly,

A recognition and acceptance of the truth.

And so to end,

I thought I might invite you to take a moment to think about a meditation that involves this practice of STOP.

And so if you're ready,

And if it's available,

You might right now find a comfortable seated posture,

Maybe close the eyes.

And if you're listening to this while walking,

You might become more conscious of your breath and your body,

Maybe your feet on the ground,

The act of walking.

You might feel your hands on the steering wheel,

Your seat on the cushion,

Just become more embodied.

If you're seated somewhere with the eyes closed,

You might take a long inhale,

Conscious inhale,

Slow exhale,

A couple of rounds of these on your own,

Just to really get in touch with your body,

Your heart.

If you'd like,

You can even place one hand or both on the heart,

One hand on the belly,

Even breathing into the fingers,

Sensing the rise and fall of the breath.

Let the shoulders drop down,

Let the face be soft,

Eyes soft,

Forehead smooth.

Let the center of the palms be soft and open.

You might sense the weight of your body being held by the earth,

Which has always held you,

Always will,

Allowing yourself to feel held,

Maybe bringing a sense of compassion and gentleness here right away.

And so as you're ready now,

You might think of something that you've been struggling with lately,

Maybe something you've been feeling a bit impatient about.

This could be an impatience you have with another person,

Situation,

Or even something you're feeling impatient about within yourself.

And again,

You can always place a hand on the heart or both hands,

One hand on the heart,

One on the belly,

Really inviting yourself to stop,

Pause,

Really acknowledge this impatience,

Acknowledge that it's been here,

This impatience.

As you're ready,

You might try on the T and stop,

Or just take one or even several slow inhales and exhales.

Truly,

Again,

Allow yourself that gentle,

Compassionate care,

Like you're holding an injured baby bird who's just fallen out of the nest,

Acknowledging how hard this has been,

To have this impatience.

As you continue now,

You might now try on the O and stop,

Which is to open up to the ouch of this,

To notice what this impatience has been trying to say.

You know,

What have you been believing or maybe how has it been manifesting the mind,

Body,

And heart?

As you continue,

You might now even consider questioning these beliefs and ask yourself if there might be another way that you might think about this impatience that you've been having.

As you're ready now,

You might now try on that last part of stop,

Which is to ask yourself how you want to proceed or maybe if you want to park and how you'd like to do this.

What is the wisest,

Most compassionate response to this person,

Situation,

Or to yourself?

And finally,

With the eyes still closed,

Just listening to these words from the late,

Great Thich Nhat Hanh,

To meditate on the mind.

To meditate does not mean to fight with a problem.

To meditate means to observe.

Your smile proves it.

It proves that you're being gentle with yourself,

That the sun of awareness is shining in you,

That you have control of your situation.

You are yourself and you have acquired some peace.

Namaste and blessings.

Reviews

Thank you so much Shell... I literally have had this (recording) on hold for 6 months. I've been through heartbreaking loss paused this part of my practice. I opened up the app, and there you were on pause... wow is all I can say.

The generous gifts of patience abound here. Thank you Shell.

Such a calming voice to communicate such wisdom.❤️ thank you

Beautiful, thank you so much for all of your teachings. I cry with love every time❤️

I really needed to receive this guidance at this difficult time in my life. I will do my best to S.T.O.P at the very juncture.

Listened to this whilst waiting for a very delayed train and found it most helpful. Thank you 🌟

Another fantastic talk thank you so much for sharing here 🙏🏻

Grateful for your wise words that truly resonated with me. ✌🏼💕