Serenity Wellness Podcast E42: Get Out Of Your Way

We can create obstacles, diversions, and sinkholes to block our path. These mental, emotional, and physical detours we create rob us of connecting with ourselves, our goals, and all we have the ability to create and experience. It can block our connection with higher consciousness and trust. Identifying how we get in our own way allows us to get rid of automatic cycles and imprinted patterns, creating space for a new highway. One You design.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome to Serenity Wellness Podcast.

My name is Nicole White and I'll be your host.

This podcast is dedicated to helping you tap into your full potential of how you can heal and balance your mental,

Emotional,

And physical well-being.

Together,

Let's explore inner self,

Connect with our strength,

And manifest your true nature,

One full of love,

Purpose,

And passion.

Welcome to episode 42,

Get Out of Your Way.

We can create obstacles,

Diversions,

And sinkholes to block our path.

These mental,

Emotional,

And physical detours we create rob us of connecting with ourselves,

Our goals,

And all we have the ability to create and experience.

It blocks us from connecting to universal consciousness and allowing that trust in surrender.

Identifying how we get in our own way allows us to get rid of automatic cycles,

Imprinted patterns,

And it creates space for another highway,

One that you design.

Before I get further into the details of that,

I just want to take a moment to express some gratitude.

What I'm going to share will also actually apply some to what I'm going to talk about today,

But first I want to say I can't share enough just how much all of you fill my heart with listening and sharing aspects of yourself with me as well as other listeners through your feedback that you're putting out there for others to read,

Your encouragement,

And even sharing this podcast with others.

And I really do respond to all the feedback I get as well as the emails.

I right now can only respond to feedback on Insight Timer.

Anchor is my,

I guess,

Host you call it for this stuff.

Like I said at the beginning,

I'm new to all this podcasting stuff,

But they post it everywhere else like iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher and all those different places wherever they're at.

But I post them on Insight Timer,

So I'm able to give feedback there but nowhere else other than there and on my website.

So I wanted to just take a moment to just give a really heartfelt thank you to Young Guru for your recent feedback on iTunes.

It really means a lot to hear how these tools have assisted you,

And I love hearing that you look forward to these episodes to continue to build your wellness toolbox.

It truly means a lot that you took the time to give that feedback and share aspects of yourself in terms of how you're finding this helpful.

So thank you so much,

And I just wanted to put that out there since I don't know how to respond to reply on iTunes yet.

And I also just wanted to say,

You know,

Thank you to Kristen in Deerfield,

New Hampshire,

And Beverly in Seneca,

South Carolina.

You guys,

I really appreciate you both,

Your every episode,

Giving me feedback and support,

And it just really means a lot in terms of keeping me on this path that I'm also on,

As well as Wisdom in Los Angeles and Deborah in New York for your recent donations,

And Dan,

Of course,

In South Carolina in State College here where I am located.

Thank you for your donation as well and all you do to support the Serenity community as well as the State College community in wellness.

So thank you,

All of you,

Because I just really appreciate the feedback that you're giving and the support you're providing.

And,

You know,

Again,

Giving me just this moment to share this gratitude.

I really try not to do this in episodes as much as possible.

That's why I don't have sponsors either because I don't want to,

You know,

Just interrupt the flow of what we're trying to do here together in these episodes.

But I did just want to say one last thing,

And that is that I love hearing how couples and families are listening and learning together through these episodes.

It just really,

You guys blow me away.

You're just really filling my heart in so many ways with what you're sharing with me.

So thank you,

Dave in Stony Plain,

Canada,

For sharing that with me,

As well as the individual that I'm talking with through email in,

It's spelled Holland,

I might be pronouncing that wrong,

But thank you both for sharing that with me because,

Again,

It not only means a lot for the feedback and everything I'm getting,

But to also learn that people are listening to this with their partners or with their families and this experience of,

You know,

Just building our wellness toolbox.

The more we change,

The more we help others be aware and change.

And,

You know,

So we're all helping one another.

So thank you all so very much.

And thank you for letting me just take a moment to share that.

So with today's episode,

Get out of our own way.

As we explore these roadblocks that we create,

You might find some or all apply to you.

Just remember that with awareness,

There's change.

We create these obstacles often due to learn behaviors,

Automatic patterns,

Or not having the right tools available to build a different road.

There's many common obstacles that we can create where we also can create something different once we become more aware of what's going on there for us.

So don't let yourself get,

I don't want to tell you what to or not to do.

If you're one of my clients listening,

You know that's a familiar term that I use.

I'm not going to tell you what to do.

I'm just offering information.

So I don't want to tell you what to or not to do.

But just be aware that within this,

There is an opportunity for change.

When we have awareness,

We might find resistance as we become aware initially,

But there's always an opportunity for change.

So one of these obstacles is our mental connection.

This includes our judgment,

Our judgments of ourselves,

Thinking that we're less than,

We're not good enough,

Not talented enough,

Smart enough,

Skilled enough,

Look the way we need to look,

All these different judgments that we will place on ourselves to create obstacles and avoidance,

Hesitation in moving forward.

These judgments that we also hold on to and connect with apply to that we place on others.

Assumptions that we have to make,

Assumptions that we make,

Comparisons that we hold,

Or negative thoughts that we put towards them or in our mind about how we judge how a person is or who they are or how they feel or a lot of categories there people can get caught into.

As I've mentioned before,

Recognizing really what judgment is and the shadow self within us that creates the cycle.

But our mental connection,

Specifically in the area of judgment towards ourselves,

Towards others,

And even our judgment towards the situations that unfold in front of us.

All those shoulds,

Coulds,

Whys,

Why nots,

These elements of control that we bring in trying to control everything around us,

All aspects when we know that it's just really not the reality.

In this mental connection,

It also includes our expectations.

These expectations we place on ourselves,

That things within us have to look,

Feel,

And be a certain way.

Expectations we place on others,

They also have to look,

Be,

Feel a certain way,

Understand something a certain way,

Behave,

Process,

A situation,

You know,

All these expectations that we loop into in this mental roadblock that we create.

Expectations towards the situation or situations that unfold around us,

Experiences that we have,

Will in our mind play out how we expect it to be.

And often in this,

We expect growth to equal comfort.

If you follow me on,

Well,

Not me specifically,

I mean,

You're welcome to do that too.

But if you follow the Wellness Center Serenity on Facebook,

I just recently posted something about this in terms of our comfort zone and fear and how we move more towards learning and growth and these things that block us in that,

In our own creation of really who we can be.

And so we'll get in this expectation that growth equals comfort.

But growth is often rocky sometimes and challenging and we have to unearth and look at deeper aspects of ourselves to get out of patterns or cycles or,

You know,

Experiences unfold that create more challenge.

And we don't know that it's part of the unfolding of the path of what,

You know,

Down the line we're even trying to create.

That's all about that surrender and trust.

And it can be so difficult.

I completely understand all of that.

But,

You know,

When we become aware of how this blocks us in moving forward,

We might choose a different route in terms of,

You know,

The obstacles and the roadblocks and the expectations and this true surrender and belief and trust in ourselves.

Which kind of applies to the mental connection with fear and doubt.

It's this interplay,

You know,

We have this,

These judgments and these expectations and then we start to have increased fear,

Where we start to doubt ourselves and doubt our ability and it creates another roadblock in moving forward.

We get into I can't versus I will,

And this lack of trust in ourselves.

This area of doubt is one that I was really kind of working through in moving forward in this podcast.

I wasn't really certain as I mentioned,

I'm not really sure in some one of these episodes,

But I had mentioned about how I wasn't sure what this would look like or be like,

Because I'm used to being in a space with,

You know,

The clients I work with.

And these things that we're talking about in terms of wellness tools that we've been building,

We go deeper into those elements,

You know,

We're talking and exploring and it allows for those aha moments to come out in sessions,

Which those aha moments are often,

You know,

Brought to the surface because of our dialogue and,

You know,

Things that we're doing in the sessions together as well,

To bring up,

You know,

Subconscious awareness.

So sometimes those aha moments are those subconscious things that keep us stuck in patterns.

So I wasn't really sure,

And I had some doubt about what this would look like,

Because I'm just talking at you,

I'm not talking with you.

And I allowed myself to be vulnerable.

And I talked with some close friends about it,

Who,

You know,

Helped me to talk through it.

And we talked just about,

I think it might have even been kind of the title,

You know,

Get out of your own way,

Like,

Just trust and let this be.

And I'm just beyond grateful for the friends I have in my life,

Because,

You know,

It's a small close niche of friends.

And with it,

We just all try to hold space and create space for,

You know,

Comfortable vulnerability,

And deep conversations to allow each of us to explore and express whatever's going on for us.

And so in doing that,

It allowed me to,

You know,

See more deeply in my own blocks and obstacles and how I was getting in my own way.

And so it let me move forward,

Obviously,

Because here we are Episode 42,

Right?

But I'm still stuck in some ways I have been,

I keep pushing pause on moving forward in starting this YouTube channel.

My web designer,

It's on this list that I'm really trying to get checked off of this next stage of development.

And I notice these areas,

Some of which I'm talking about are still there for me with that.

I know that I'm going to work through it and get this started,

Especially now that I just put that out there on here.

But you know,

We can be aware and it still can take some time and patience and going a little deeper to explore what's keeping us there,

You know,

What is holding us into that,

That block,

Getting in the way of us moving forward.

Emotions,

Excuse me,

Emotions can also create different obstacles that we put in front of ourselves and roadblocks that we might experience.

We might have avoidance of feelings,

Or working through different emotions that are involved in goals or experiences that we're going to have.

So we might create some barriers.

We might avoid moving forward towards a goal,

A conversation that we might want to have.

We might try to kind of work through the feelings and then realize that it's too much.

We might notice that if we start working towards this goal,

Well,

We have to go through steps one and two first,

And steps one and two are going to make us feel more anxious.

Or we might notice that we start doubting ourselves more.

And we don't want to feel that emotion.

So therefore,

Let's just not move forward at all.

So we can have some hesitation there related to our anxiety,

Our fears,

Stress and overwhelm,

Our ego,

And depression and defeat.

It kind of takes hold and starts going behind the wheel and driving,

You know,

Down this road full of obstacles.

And,

You know,

Sometimes even creating our own sinkholes.

So our mindset also can further elevate these emotions,

Which then make our cognitive mind seem even more fuzzy,

Unable to think straight,

Might have more forgetfulness and exhaustion.

Our mental and emotional connection can also loop together to keep us stuck on a road of perfectionism.

We won't give ourselves permission to make mistakes.

We won't allow ourselves to recognize that in mistakes,

We get growth.

We find success.

So we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience because we fear success.

And we feel fear failure.

We avoid projects,

Goals,

Interaction,

And inner compassion towards ourself.

Because we know it's not going to be perfect,

So therefore we don't want to experience it at all.

Lastly,

Well,

For this episode,

At least,

Our behaviors can create huge roadblocks and sinkholes.

Spending some time with ourselves and truly looking within,

Not with judgment,

But awareness and compassion,

Allows us to notice what's going on there for us.

Take notice if you continue to choose unhealthy patterns,

Get looped into impulsive cycles or self-sabotaging actions.

If you notice it's a yes,

Ask what that's about for you.

Ask yourself and listen.

Give yourself space to understand you.

So you can get out of your own way.

Let yourself recognize what it is you're avoiding.

Maybe fearing,

Escaping.

Are these areas,

Behaviors,

Choices,

And decisions,

Are they creating roadblocks,

Obstacles,

Destruction,

If you look deeper,

You can see what this creates for you.

Does this create more pain and suffering?

What is the area of growth it applies towards in terms of what you're truly trying to create for yourself and your life?

Look within and ask yourself what you need to create comfort for you,

Compassion for you,

Vulnerability that is safe.

Sometimes we get into these cycles of behaviors and self-sabotaging decisions and impulsivity because we have that fear of failing or fear of sometimes even succeeding.

And I know that might sound strange,

But it's there.

And with it,

We might get into self-sabotage because,

Well,

At least then we're in control.

At least we see we knew it wouldn't work.

We knew it wouldn't,

Um,

We knew it wouldn't work.

We knew it wouldn't result in the outcome that we were trying to create with this goal or this project or this situation,

Et cetera.

So if we can do things that further reinforce it by sabotaging,

Then at least we're in control of our emotion.

We're prepared for it in some way.

So we can even get into those cycles and behaviors and choices as a way that we think we're protecting ourselves.

But really what we're doing is,

You know,

We're moving ourselves more away from our genuine truth due to some of these areas maybe that we're talking about.

And again,

We can get into these mental,

Emotional,

And behavior patterns for many different reasons.

We can have automatic cycles where we drive on autopilot and just repeat the same unhealthy blocks.

It's like when we drive to work,

Suddenly we arrive at work and we're like,

Wow,

I know I passed other cars.

I effectively stopped at red lights and stop signs,

But I don't even remember the drive here because I've drove so many times the same path that we get on autopilot.

Well,

We can do that also with these areas that we're talking about today.

Our mental connection,

Emotional selves,

As well as the behaviors and impulsive cycles that we might get looped into.

Through awareness,

It brings change.

We allow space to design our own highway.

We allow space for change when we become aware.

Otherwise,

We'll just keep kind of running through life,

And we might keep repeating the same things over and over,

Realizing it's blocking us moving forward in the ways we truly desire.

Thank you,

Everybody,

For listening.

I really appreciate it.

I'm going to include two links to some books you might find helpful in terms of what we were talking about here today.

And I'm continuing to work on that page I promised on my website.

So it's on my to-do list here.

We just have a lot going on over the next week with some workshops and things happening at Serenity.

So you're welcome to check us out online if you would like to see what we have going on there.

Thank you again for being part of this with me.

I appreciate all of you,

And I look forward to talking with you again soon.

Have a good one.

Reviews

Another great session Nicole, thank you so much for these insights. I am finding that doing these daily is really helping to keep my metal health stable during this lockdown time. Bless you 🙏

Thank you dear one for the sweet shout out of appreciation. As I listened intently all I could think about in my almost daily struggle with my difficult family member is YES I need to get out of my own way! I have experienced so much disappointment in my life with many of my family members for various reasons. I think what resonates most in this moment is my belief that I can change and grow (and I want to) but they can not. Getting out of my own way and doing what I need to do for my own well being is crucial. This podcast really helped me to look at my role in making these relationships the best I can (for me).

Thank you Nicole for your dedication to these podcasts and all the people like me you serve so lovingly. So very thankful I found you when I did.

Merry Christmas! 🎄

Wonderful and so helpful as usual! Thank you so much for the acknowledgement as well!