The 3 Core Identities: Working With The Inner Critic #1

This is the first of seven recordings to increase mindfulness of your inner critic. In this practice, you will increase your awareness of the three core identities of the critic. This is the first step to dealing with this inner voice. Which of the three core identities does your inner critic speak to?

Transcript

Welcome to the seven day series on dealing with the inner critic. My name is Sean Fargo. I teach mindfulness to professional teams around the world. I started practicing mindfulness in China about 12 years ago. Then I ordained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand for two years. Daily mindfulness practice has really helped me gain a greater sense of self-awareness and clarity, And also the ability for me to tame my inner critic. Over the next seven days, I'm going to teach you some science proven ways to deal with your inner critic. I'm really looking forward to supporting you on your journey. The first step to dealing with your inner critic is to address what the inner critic is really trying to say. There are usually three core identities that the inner critic is attacking or critiquing. So it's helpful to bring awareness to which of these three core identities your inner critic speaks to. The first is competency. Am I competent? What does your inner critic say about how competent you are? Second one is whether you're a good person or worthy of care or love. What does your inner critic say about who you are as a person? The third is addressing your acceptability, Your likability. What does your inner critic say about how likable you are? So it's really helpful to bring awareness to these three core identities and which of these your inner critic mostly attacks. First, As we bring more awareness to these identities, It can be helpful to do some journaling, To ask some friends how they see you in terms of how you treat yourself. But here, I'd like you to find a posture that's very relaxed and alert, And either close your eyes or look downward and invite a sense of full embodiment to feel the weight of gravity as you touch the ground or your chair. And soften your belly, Drop the shoulders, And invite a sense of alert relaxation as you ask yourself these questions. Am I competent? Am I a good person or worthy of care? Am I acceptable or likable? Again, Am I competent? Am I a good person? Am I acceptable? Now, I invite you to see which of these you may have a reaction to, And sense which of these your inner critic most identifies with. This will be really helpful as we move forward with future exercises in the days ahead as we bring more mindfulness to dealing with the inner critic. I look forward to seeing you here tomorrow on day two of dealing with the inner critic. Take care.

Reviews

Am I competent? Oh yeah, I'm killin' it!
Am I a good person/worthy of love? [Spoken in a plaintive, childlike voice; I can actually see the child reaching for someone who doesn't come.]
Am I likeable? [All the times I keep wondering why it's so hard to make friends even with people who say they like me just fine.]

That 2nd one... My inner critic doesn't need to speak; the fact that it's a child says it all. And I kinda have a feeling that addressing it will also help with the 3rd one.

This was exactly what I needed today. Thank you!

An eye opener for me. I have a very loud inner critic. I'm looking forward to the following episodes. Thank you!

A very insightful look at the inner critic. Thank you.