The Yes/No Filter- Saying No With Confidence

In this guided practice, you’ll learn how to use your body as a compass for decision-making through the Yes/No Filter. Instead of overthinking or second-guessing, you’ll be guided to slow down and notice the subtle signals of expansion and contraction that reveal your true yes and your true no.

This practice is especially supportive if you struggle with people-pleasing, codependency patterns, or feeling disconnected from your own needs. We’ll work with simple, real-time awareness so you can start recognizing where you override yourself—and how to return to your internal truth.

By practicing this regularly, you begin to build self-trust from the inside out. Decisions become clearer, boundaries feel more natural, and you stop abandoning yourself in order to stay comfortable or accepted by others. This is a practice of returning to yourself, one pause at a time.

Music by Mykola Odnoroh

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this yes-no filter meditation. My name is Sadie Jo Barr and I help women build self-trust so they can stop overthinking, Trust their decisions, And finally feel like themselves again. The yes-no filter is one tool that we use consistently. So let's get started. If you feel comfortable, Gently close your eyes or soften your gaze. Take a slow breath in. And a long breath out. The first step in this process is to become very present with your body. So bring a hand right over top of your power center, Your solar plexus, Which is between your belly button and the bottom of your sternum. Breathe into your hand, Breathing in on the nose on the inhale. And breathing out through pursed lips as if you were blowing through a small straw on the exhale. As you do this, Rest your awareness at your power center. And as you breathe out, Actively draw your tummy in toward your spine to activate the power center. As you inhale, Radically relax. Let go. Good. Now that you have gently stoked the inner fire, Let's layer on a mantra. With your breath, Breathing in. . . I sent her. Breathing out. I ground. Breathing in, I center. Breathing out, I ground. Okay, Now let's embody yes. So think of something that you have felt a full body yes about. An invitation for something that you love to do or maybe a food or a smell that is satisfying. A recent purchase that you made, Anything that felt like a full body, Hell yes. What posture? Did that experience take on? What does your body look like? With a hell yes. Is it tall, Short, Small, Large? Where are your shoulders? What is your facial expression? What's happening at the space between your eyebrows. Behind your eyes toward the center of your head. What about your jaw and your tongue? Your lips and your mouth, Maybe you're smiling, Maybe it's neutral. And now, What sound or words naturally come through when you think about this yes? Try now just letting that out. Allow the vibration of yes, The energy of yes to flow through you in the way of sound. Now does this experience of yes have a temperature or a color? Is it expansive or contracting? Feel the yes. Great. Take a deep breath in. And a long breath out. Give your arms and shoulders and head and whole body a little shake. Shake off the yes so you can come back to baseline. Settle back in. And now the same thing for no. So call to mind something that you have had a clear no about. Like there was no doubting or vacillating. You knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, No way. If you can't think of something, Imagine what a no is. Could be. Sometimes it's easier to hold a no for someone else, Such as like standing up for a loved one, Than it is ourselves. So as you call this thing to mind, What posture does your body take on here? What's your facial expression? What sound or words naturally come through? And if you're in a space to do so, Try now just letting that out again. We're allowing the vibration, The energy of no to flow through. Does the know have a temperature, A color? Is it expansive, Contracting? Feel the know. Wonderful. Take a slow breath in. And a long breath out. Shake it out again. Settle back in. Now bring to mind something that you're currently wrestling with. Something that you need to make a decision about or a response that you need to give someone. It doesn't have to be a huge life decision. Maybe it is or maybe it's just an invitation to an event or a commitment or a conversation that you need to have. Something that you've been feeling pressure to say yes to? Just hold it gently and your awareness without trying to figure it out right now. Just hold it there. And now imagine saying yes to it. Notice what happens in your body. Your posture. Facial expression. Sounds, Words. Temperature, Color. Expansive, Contracting. There's no need to analyze or judge it, Just notice. And now, Let that go. Slow breath in. Long breath out. Shake it off. And settle back in. Now imagine saying no instead. Come back to the body. The same body audit that you've done. Now three times. Scan through. Take the time to discharge any energy through sound. I can't emphasize just how powerful and important this is. Stay curious just for another few moments. Your body often speaks before your mind catches up. Do you feel relief? Do you feel resistance? Now ask yourself this one simple question. Which answer feels more like self-respect than self-protection? Don't force an answer, Just listen. One more. Slow breath in. Long breath out. Shake it off. And as you feel ready, Open your eyes, Return to the space around you and take a moment to scan your surroundings and just recalibrate. Please, If anything, Remember this. You don't have to have every answer today. But every time you pause before automatically saying yes, You're strengthening your ability to hear your own inner wisdom. So carry that pause with you today. It might only take a few seconds, But those few seconds can change the direction of a decision and over time the direction of your life. The next time someone asks something of you or you find yourself about to volunteer, Commit, Or agree, Don't answer immediately. Take one breath. And then ask yourself, Is this a yes from my values or a yes from my fear? That one pause may only last a few seconds, But over weeks and months, Those pauses begin to change your life. Because self-trust isn't built through huge dramatic moments. It's built through hundreds of ordinary decisions where you choose yourself with honesty. Thank you so much for practicing with me today. I hope that wherever you are, You give yourself permission to trust the wisdom that's already within you.