Repeating The Same Old Patterns

You have the realization. You promise yourself this time will be different. And for a little while it is, until the old habit quietly reestablishes itself and you’re back in the groove, wondering if change is even possible. Here’s the science-based hope: your brain rewires itself your whole life, based on what you repeatedly experience. Old patterns feel sticky because they’ve been reinforced thousands of times, worn in like a deep groove on a hillside. But a groove is not a carving. Every time you choose a new response and let the good of it sink in, you carve a new channel, and one day the new way becomes the natural one. In this session, Rick Hanson explains experience-dependent neuroplasticity, then guides you to rehearse a new response to one of your own patterns and take it in, so the change actually holds.

Transcript

Welcome to day seven of the Break Your Habits Challenge here on Insight Timer. We all have things we keep doing, Even when we wish we wouldn't. This is your time to understand these patterns and find ways to hopefully do things differently. Let's jump into today's session. Welcome to day eight of the 10-day Break Your Patterns Challenge. I'm Rick Henson, A psychologist, And today we're tackling the question that underlies this whole challenge. Why do we fall back into old patterns? Today, I'm gonna give you some genuine science-based hope and a way to make change actually stick. In a few minutes, We'll do a short practice together. And so if you can, Find a quiet spot where you can settle in. So a bit of an explanation first. Here's the good news. Your brain can change. For most of history, People believed that the adult brain was pretty much stuck. But we now know that actually, That's not true. For the entire lifespan, For your whole life, Your brain is constantly rewiring itself based on what you repeatedly experience and take into yourself. Scientists call this experience-dependent neuroplasticity. There's a simple way to remember it. Wire together can wire together. Whatever you repeatedly internalize literally shapes the structure and function of your own brain. So why do old patterns feel so sticky? Well, Because they've been reinforced hundreds, Even thousands of times. An old pattern is like a deep groove worn into a hillside by water. And the rain, The moment to moment experiences we're having, The rain sort of, Repeatedly runs down it. Down it, It digs it a little deeper. Your well-worn patterns are like deep grooves, And under stress, The mind naturally runs down them. A groove is not a carving in stone. It can actually change. Every time you choose a new response, Even a small one, You start to carve a new channel. It's so cool. At first, It's shallow. Okay, It's shallow. And the water still kind of wants to go down that old groove. But the more you repeat the new way of being, And let it settle into yourself and give over to it in yourself, The deeper this new way of being gets, Until one day, The new response becomes the natural one. And there's one more thing I want to say before we do this experiential practice, And it's really important. Our brains have evolved what scientists call a negativity bias, Because that's what helped our ancestors survive in harsh conditions. In effect, Your brain, My brain, Is like Velcro for bad experiences, But Teflon for good ones. So experiences of the good that you want to grow inside, They tend to wash through your brain like water through a sieve. But meanwhile, Everyday negative experiences of stress or worry, Irritation, Or upset get caught in the sieve and then sink into you. So it's really important to deliberately take in the good whenever you're experiencing it, Including the good experiences of new ways of being instead of old patterns. That's how you grow the good that lasts inside. And that's exactly what we're going to practice together now. So let's do this together. Settle into a comfortable position, And if it feels okay, Let your eyes close, Or if you like, You can keep them open. Take one slow breath in. And a long breath out. And one more, Letting yourself really arrive here. Okay, Now think of one pattern you'd most like to change. I suggest picking something that's sort of medium, Not the most overwhelming and difficult thing in your life, Nor something super superficial and not very important. Something kind of in the middle, If you could. It might be one of the patterns you've already explored in this challenge, Or maybe simply something you catch yourself doing again and again. So, Let one come to mind, Your intuition may guide you, And choose it. All right. And then in contrast to that old way of being. What's the new response that you'd rather have? For example, You might rather pause instead of snapping. Perhaps you'd like to establish a boundary instead of automatically saying yes. Maybe you'd like to step back and not be so swept away by your own reactions. Maybe you'd like to offer a compassionate word, A kind word, While still not giving up your own rights instead of being harsh in your tone. So know for yourself at least some of the outlines of the new way of being you'd like to choose. OK, And now we're going to rehearse it. And when we rehearse things to the brain, It doesn't know that it's not real, Quote unquote, And can change as a result. So picture a specific real situation in which that old pattern usually shows up. Don't get hijacked by that situation. Just get a sense of it, Maybe keeping it a little bit at arm's length. See who's there, See where you are, Track what's happening, And kind of observe, You know, The typical pattern of reactions that come up for you related to this old pattern. Okay, And then step back from that old pattern. You know, It's over there, Kind of on the edge of the stage of awareness. And in the front of the stage, In the foreground of your awareness, Now imagine the new response, The new way of being. You might help to imagine people that are really supportive of you, Or your own fairy godmother, Or someone whispering to you, Your better angels of your nature, About the way you really want to be, The higher road you want to take. You might imagine yourself pausing, Or you might imagine yourself speaking up. In confident ways, Or you might imagine yourself staying calm. You don't have to know every aspect of the new pattern, Just feel what it would be like in your body in general. And now to help this sink in and become a new habit for you, As you picture yourself responding in this new way, Imagine being in this new way, Let yourself feel how good it is. You could track what could be important to you about this new way of being, Or how it just feels better inside. Maybe there's a sense of relief or quiet pride. Maybe a sense of, Yeah, This is who I want to be. Stay with it. If your mind wanders, That's normal, Just bring it back. If there's some kind of block to letting yourself really experience a new way of being, It's okay. Just stay with it and see if you can sort of soften around that block. Stay with the experience. This is taking in the good, And it's how to grow the good that lasts inside. OK. So gently let that go. Come back into the room. Or wherever you are. And that's the whole practice. So yeah, To answer the question we started with, Yes, You can change. You're not stuck. That's so hopeful at a time when so many of us feel pushed around by life. You really can change for the better. Your patterns are like grooves, Not carvings. And every time you practice a new response and let the good of it sink in, You deepen a new path. Be patient, Stick with it a few times a day. That's probably adds up to less than a couple minutes a day. Bit by bit, Synapse by synapse, Drop by drop, You'll be reshaping your own brain and thus your own mind. And take care of yourself and good luck with the rest of this challenge.

Reviews

Great ideas here. I need to make healthier choices. Thanks!