Being Touched By Grief

Grief can be a mettlesome shadow in the human experience. It does not have to be. The expression of grief can be cathartic, healing and transformative. So how can we invite in a deep expression of pain with grace? We breathe, we sit, we explore, we observe.

Transcript

When dealing with grief,

We're dealing with a very collective,

Energetic experience.

And it's not something that any of us can really get away from.

It's something that each of us are touched by.

And when we allow ourselves to go into our grief,

To feel our grief,

It's generally going to move us through it more quickly.

Just like the quote that I'm sure we've all heard,

The fastest way around something is through.

And so when we just dive into the depths of what we're feeling,

And we allow it to kind of crawl out into our entire body,

So that we're feeling it in our limbs,

And we're feeling it in our breath,

And we're feeling it in our heart,

Our mind,

And our spirit,

We can more quickly begin to integrate.

And so as we move into this meditation,

I encourage you to find a comfortable seat or to lie down if that feels better for you.

And if you're sitting up,

Sit up nice and tall.

And you might even want to dim the light on the computer screen if it is bothering you,

Maybe turn the phone upside down or the computer away from you.

And just come into your own space.

We're landing in our bodies,

We begin to close the eyes down.

And we begin with a body scan.

Begin to relax the crown of the head,

The forehead,

The muscles around the cheekbones,

The muscles around the jaw line,

And maybe even doing a little circle with your mouth,

With your jaw,

If there's any tension here.

Sitting down to the neck and the shoulders,

Relaxing here,

Relaxing across the chest,

The stomach,

Let the hips be heavy here,

Supported by the earth beneath you,

The ground if you're lying down or sitting.

And begin to come into intentional awareness with your breath,

Equal inhalations and exhalations through the nostrils.

And let the inhalation be as long as the exhalation,

Let it be natural,

No force here.

And as you land in your physical body,

Begin to take note,

Almost in inventory,

Of places in your body that might feel a bit tense.

Maybe there's contraction here.

Maybe there's a tightening in certain areas of the body.

And can you intentionally send your exhalation to those spaces?

When we are grieving something,

When we are grieving a relationship or grieving a loss,

Grieving a death,

Grieving a transition,

Grieving a shift in ourselves,

When we are grieving for not even knowing what we are grieving,

When there is just a depth of sadness there or absence,

Our body,

Our physical body tends to carry secrets.

And they're only secrets because in our grief many times,

We are not able to take inventory or observe these little itches or tensions in the body that are speaking to us softly that are whispering to us to listen.

So listen here.

In honoring our grief and our pain and our challenges,

A part of honoring the grief is getting really quiet,

Getting really still.

And here in your meditation seat,

Or as you lie down,

Tune into the sounds the furthest away from you.

No strain.

Notice if the mind has preference.

If you hear silence or if you hear traffic,

If you hear family members in the other room or stillness,

Allow all.

Without preference,

Nothing good or bad,

But just present.

Begin to tune into the sounds nearer to you,

Even tuning into the temperature in the room or wherever you may be.

And again,

With every exhalation,

Allow your body to relax into sensations that are coming into the body.

In our journeys through grief,

Many times we can distract ourselves,

We can run away from or we can freeze in presence of.

And in honoring our grief,

We settle.

We settle into stillness and acceptance and surrender.

If emotions come,

We allow them.

We let go of judgments on how long our grief should be or needs to be.

And we just allow.

If the feelings,

If the sensations are present,

Then they're necessary.

What are you feeling in the physical body?

What are you feeling in the breath?

Can you take in deeper breaths?

Can the body relax with each breath cycle deeper and deeper?

Can you feel the earth beneath you supporting you?

And bring into mind something that feels as a burden in this moment with your grief,

Something that feels painful,

Something that you would like to release,

Something that you might even be finding in a certain area of the body,

Maybe in the belly,

In the hips,

The chest,

A tightening of the upper back or the lower back.

And if this burden,

This pain,

This grief has a place in the body,

Visualize a spiral of energy there,

Kind of like a screw.

And you can just see that moving and either counterclockwise or clockwise in this area of the body.

There's not a certain area of the body.

You can just allow it to be in your belly,

In your core.

And just breathe as this spiral of energy moves either counterclockwise down or counterclockwise and just feel into your intuition.

Is it moving to the left and down or to the right and down?

And slowly with your exhalation,

Begin to move the spiral of energy in the opposite direction.

Change the direction of it,

This thing that is causing you pain or discomfort or challenge.

Begin to move the energy in another direction.

Begin to visualize maybe some of the tension or contraction beginning to rise out of the body,

Out of this specific part of the body or the core.

As you push it in the opposite direction energetically,

It rises and rises,

Releasing some pressure.

Very slowly,

Just coming back into stillness and nothingness,

You can let go of this visualization.

Notice if there's any changes in your body or your breath.

When we are in grief,

When we are in pain or discomfort,

Everything around us may seem too much or too little.

We can allow ourselves to go to extreme ends of the spectrum of reaching out for help or of hiding ourselves in reclusion.

And the invitation here as we sit in stillness,

As we observe our breath,

Is to in this moment remind yourself in every inhalation and exhalation,

Breathing in,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

And knowing that far beyond this moment,

In this space,

In this meditation,

That when discomfort comes,

When our shadows begin to knock at the door,

When pain or uncertainty arises,

That there is this sanctuary that exists within the human body,

Within your human body,

That we close the eyes down,

Allowing the eyes to feel as if they're floating on cool pools of water behind closed eyelids and we go somewhere deep within to truth.

To truth that this too shall pass,

That in this moment we are feeling so much or so little and that in that our whispers,

Whispers from our truth,

Our essence,

Our varying nature,

Somewhere deep within asking us to observe,

To listen,

And honoring our grief,

Honoring the fact that we have loved something or wanted something so deeply,

We have cared so deeply,

We have held on so deeply that there is this desire and power within us,

This unconditional love that exists in us,

That in this moment feels pain and hurt,

Maybe rejection and loss and surrealism.

But in that is the celebration of our capacity to feel so deeply.

So can you inhale deeply?

Can you exhale and send the energy out to the areas of the body or the breath or the spirit or the hearts that are feeling so much discomfort now?

Can you begin to replenish and nourish your physical body and your mind with energy from the exhalations,

Reminding yourself this too shall pass,

This too shall pass,

This too shall pass,

Reminding yourself that in this excruciating pain or numbness is a being that radiates light and love and truth that is resilient beyond measure.

And that when we honor our grief and we make an empowered choice to step forward from it,

That we really never lose anything.

Even in death,

The love that we have created,

That we have found with someone,

Even in relationships that end with no reservation for friendship or reconnection,

The love that was created in those moments cannot be taken.

What you have found,

What you have experienced in connection to other life and energy,

You get to take with you.

You can make an empowered choice to step forward with what you've learned,

With what you've created,

And create more abundance.

And even when we grieve our mistakes or what has gone wrong,

There is no wrong.

We let go of our judgments.

For where we're at in this moment serves a purpose.

There is,

And there are seeds here,

Seeds of great wisdom,

Like golden nuggets.

Where is the gold in your shadow,

In your grief,

In your pain,

In your discomfort?

You wouldn't be going through such physical sensation,

Mental sensation,

Whole body and mind sensation if there wasn't something beneath the surface.

So look deeper,

Feel deeper.

When it becomes too challenging,

Breathe more deeply,

Sigh out,

Let go,

Shake your body if you need,

And begin again.

We begin again and again and again and again.

This is the human life.

We trip,

We fall,

We stand up,

We rise a little bit further,

We trip,

We fall,

We stand up,

We rise a little bit further.

Continue to stand up each time.

Stay empowered,

Do not let yourself go into helplessness or defeat.

Every single being on this planet has gone through deep,

Deep grief.

Each one of us will continue to go through deep grief and from this is where we grow,

We grow in our discomfort.

So honor your grief,

Honor what you have had,

Honor the experience that you experienced,

The sensation,

The love,

The depth,

Even the anger and the pain and the anguish.

Notice the vastness of sentience that this human vessel can experience,

Your unique human body,

Your unique human life,

The waves that you're able to move through and from.

More stillness,

More silence.

Fill your days with more stillness and more silence to listen softly and carefully to the whispers of your truth,

Asking you to see,

Asking you to remember who you are and what you are made of,

To let go of shame,

To let go of guilt,

To forgive yourself,

To forgive others,

To love yourself,

To love others,

To let go of the past and to be in the present.

Let go of even your desire for the future for it will come.

The timelessness begins to be understood when we become so present that one moment,

One instantaneous moment of deep awareness in the inhalation and exhalation becomes eternity.

We become infinite.

We become resilient and powerful,

The curators,

The architects of new worlds that exist within our minds from new perspectives,

New perspectives of holding ourselves to a higher standard and knowing that we can feel everything,

That we can move through everything,

That we can lose everything and still have the one thing that matters the most,

Which is truth and unconditional love.

Continue to breathe.

Listen to that ocean-like sound of breath in and out of the nostrils.

Let your body be soft.

Maybe one hand or both hands want to go somewhere on the body that feels tender.

You can give a little touch,

A soft touch,

Maybe a soft caress.

And remember that the human life is one of great fortitude.

Do your best to not compare yourself to anyone around you and just remember that you are a warrior for centuries and centuries and centuries,

For millennia.

You have been walking the path to learn and to grow from your edges,

To be pushed to the edge so that we know where your edge is.

Let go of your preferences.

Let go of comparison.

Let go of jealousy.

Let go of fear even and trust that everything that you need to know is right inside here,

Inside your inhalation,

Your exhalation and your letting go of the mental fluctuations that lead you into the past or into the future.

Take a deep breath in.

You can sigh out.

And again,

Last time.

Let your intention be to feel whole,

Not happy,

But whole.

In honouring your grief,

You honour the parts that are gritty and raw and painful and maybe angry.

Allow yourself to be whole and honour your grief,

Honour your pain,

Honour the challenge,

The obstacles.

Now when you're ready,

You can slowly come back into the space.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you for such a tender guidance.

In my current grief and pain I have felt more then i have ever before. Your guidance through posted talks and meditations have helped me immensely to go deeper into knowing and loving my parts and burdens. I want to embody love for myself and others in my life, being the secure leader my parts need. Thank you for helping me see more clearly.

Lovely❣️⚘️☄️❤️‍🩹💫
Thank you kindly again⚛️
🙏🏽✨️🖤🪔💫🕯🙏🏽

Love 💕