Hello.
Welcome to another heart work experience where we are uncovering the voice of the heart in our everyday moments.
So this is a recording that I found on my voice memo from last spring.
You can hear the wind howling outside.
We had just moved to our land and we had big dreams but not enough hours or muscle strength to see them all through as quickly as we desired.
I was in a place of longing for my vision to come true right now.
And I look back and see how those hard days really worked on my spirit and how patience was just being teased from my tight grip and how my heart was always there for me when I chose to pause and listen.
So if you'll join me now,
You can go ahead and close your eyes if you'd like,
Get comfortable.
I examine the two lavender plants that I just purchased from the nursery.
They were in full bloom thriving just two weeks ago.
They made me light up life,
Beautiful life.
It is early spring and I'm itching to get in the garden.
I care for them for a few days after I purchased them,
Bringing them out in the sun in the daytime,
Sheltering them at night.
But then I just can't wait any longer.
I plant them outside,
A triumph life in the garden.
It's only March.
And now today they crumble under my touch,
Life choked from them with the multiple late freezes and the harsh spring winds.
What have I done?
I have decided that I can outwit nature.
My need for control and satisfaction has clouded my knowing.
My impatience has caused harm.
I am wishing for a satisfaction that has not yet been earned.
I am reaching for a gift that is not yet mine to open.
With a deep breath,
I invite myself back to my heart,
To this moment,
Which by chance is named present.
Here,
What is here now?
I ask myself.
There are gifts here that are mine to have.
The tiny seedlings in the tray emerging finally,
As I have cared preciously for them for weeks.
They aren't yet ready to bloom and fruit,
But they are life nonetheless.
Something I have cared for and is now here.
I wonder how we might learn to live in this place right here.
I believe it is a habit to be cultivated,
A slowing down,
A coming back,
Opening the heart.
I believe it is a constant turning inward,
Checking in,
Asking what is here for me now?
And how might I take the right action toward what I desire?
Maybe we must be satisfied with an answer of pause,
Wait,
Not now.
We must trust in the timing of it all.
Our fighting will only do harm.
Trust.
Trust.
If you haven't already,
Close your eyes now.
Take a deep breath.
Bring forward this feeling of impatience.
Let it take the form it takes for you now.
Feel it.
Let it be real.
Where are you impatiently pushing?
Where are you fighting the timing?
Where are you dwelling in a future that is not yours yet?
What is consuming you that is not here in the present?
I want you to bring this impatience out in front of you.
Picture it out in front of you,
A thing separate from who you are.
Look at it.
Examine it for what it is,
A thing in the imaginary future.
See how it is blocking you from what is here now,
From what is yours now,
From what you have earned as your present.
Now reach out in front of you and take hold of this imaginary future and hold it in the palms of your hands.
Imagine it morphing into a little bird.
Whisper to it,
I bless you to be free.
Go now and come back again when it's time and watch it fly away.
The future lives in your imagination,
But you live right here in the present.
Take a moment to bring forward what is here for you now,
What gifts live here.
However small and seemingly insignificant they may be,
It is what you have.
It is yours.
Now hold these gifts in your open hands and whisper to them,
Thank you.
Thank you for being here with me now.
I see you.
Take these gifts that you hold in your hands and bring them to your heart.
With a deep breath in,
Take them into your body.
Take these gifts into your being.
They are yours.
Trust,
Trust,
Trust in the timing of it all.
One day your future will be your present and you will embrace it as you do the gifts you have now fully.
Now notice if there's any emotion that wants to bubble up.
Let it come,
Whatever it is,
Let it come up.
Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth to release.
Do this a few more times until you feel peace grow inside of you.
Acceptance,
Surrender,
Release.
Now you can repeat softly after me.
I accept that this moment is my life.
I accept that the future lives in my imagination.
It is not real.
I accept the gifts I have now as enough.
I say thank you to these gifts and to myself for acknowledging them because through acknowledging them,
I show my love for them and for my life.
I say thank you to my heart for holding steady in this place called present.
I say thank you to my heart for always welcoming me here.
I say thank you to my heart for staying open even when I'm pushing,
Even when I'm determined to forge ahead into the imaginary unknown.
I say thank you to this moment for being the ground beneath my feet and the air that I breathe and the nourishment that I need.
Take a deep breath in,
A long breath out.
You can slowly welcome movement back into your body.
Be really gentle as you come back.
And when you're ready,
Find your journal and record your experience.
Record your gratitude for this moment and for your heart.
Remember,
Your heart will always bring you back here.
It will always be waiting for you to come here and sit and listen.
So until next time.
