Hi again.
Welcome back to Heartwork,
Where we look for the voice of the heart in the small mundane moments of life.
So I'll invite you to take a deep breath now.
You can get comfy and close your eyes.
This morning the light poured in,
Shining warmth on my face after a cold night,
One of the first since the slow change of the season.
This place that we call home has a wildness to it,
A rawness,
Where we feel only an inch away from the elements as they sweep through our valley.
The sun in all its strength,
The howling wind,
The monsoon rains,
The extreme swing from hot to cold in one cycle of a day.
I pull on my sweater and boots and rush out the door to deliver the children to school.
I am stopped by yet another element of the wilderness,
The mud.
The rains have continued into the fall,
Leaving our dirt roads wet and soggy,
So messy.
All of our shoes are caked in it.
Puppy paws wait to place their stamp on our clean clothes.
Everything,
Everything is covered in it.
It is awful.
It is miserable.
It makes me want to run away and not return.
It feels as if it will never dry up.
Right now it is the mud that is doing its work on me,
Reminding me to breathe,
To offer up a prayer when all that is in me wants to curse,
To remember the rains tend to my garden and to the wild grasses,
That we will not always live in the mud.
Mary Oliver says,
I love this life even in its hard places.
And this is the process I am being invited into,
To transform into one who praises the mud,
Who laughs at the muddy paw prints,
Who knows deeply that this life is only full when we live the spectrum,
The sunny days and the rainy ones.
I am changing form,
Being stretched thin,
Becoming.
I am metamorphosizing into a softer version of myself.
I am being taught that it's okay.
It all belongs.
There is glory to be found here in the waiting for the sun to return for the ground to dry.
There is a depth to the growth that happens here as deep down my soul sings for it lives to evolve and change toward love.
Are you here in this place?
Are you trying to force an end to what is?
Are you wishing every moment for life to ease up,
To be different?
What are the small things that bring a curse to your lips,
Maybe without even realizing it?
It's the small things,
The smallest of things that we overlook that then wear deep grooves in our outlook on life that bring a furrow to the brow and a tightness in the jaw.
If you haven't already close your eyes now.
Take a moment.
Allow one thing to arise.
One small sticky spot,
A mild annoyance,
Maybe something that is not even fully conscious.
What is it that needs to be seen now?
Now sit up tall.
Take a full deep breath.
Feel yourself rooting down.
Hips get heavy.
Sit bones sinking deep into the surface beneath you.
Keep breathing deep.
With each exhale,
Your lower back releases.
You are rooting down.
Belly softens.
You are firmly planted here.
Allow your spine to grow upward from this place of grounding.
Imagine a string at the top of your head gently pulling you up,
Lengthening toward the sky.
Lift your chin slightly.
Breathe.
Now take your arms out to each side in a big T shape.
Big stretch to the left and to the right.
Chest expands.
Whisper,
I am open.
Breathe in and exhale with an audible sigh.
Do this a few times.
You can move your arms in and out as you breathe.
Breathe in.
Hands come to touch the heart.
Breathe out.
Hands and arms extend outward into a T shape.
Flow through this movement a few times,
Feeling your expansion and opening.
I am open.
Release your hands down to your lap.
Now imagine a mud puddle in front of you.
Take a moment to really see it in your mind's eye.
Notice the color,
Texture.
Now I want you to bring forward your hard thing,
Your little annoyance,
Your mud.
Say it out loud and acknowledge it.
I hate the mud and the mess it makes.
Say yours now.
Allow the words you just spoke to fall down into the mud puddle in front of your lap.
Watch the words as they sink down.
And as they incorporate and fuse with the mud,
The color begins to change.
Imagine the puddle swirling like it's being stirred up and a new color is forming.
What color is it?
Watch it combine until it's fully new.
The murky brown has been transformed into something new.
What color is it now?
Take your hands and dip them into this newness,
Scooping it up.
And then bring it up to your face.
Paint your face with it.
Slowly let it cover you,
Down your neck,
Over your chest.
Dip your hands again and paint your whole body in this color.
Arms and hands,
Belly,
Legs,
Feet.
Use soft,
Tender touch.
Anointing your whole body with this beauty.
When you're finished,
Bring your hands over your heart.
You are covered now,
Painted in love.
You are complete.
You are full.
You are whole and holy.
You wear this paint as a symbol of your dedication to your wise heart.
Knowing that each time you step deep into the mud,
You have the power to transform the curse on your lips into a sacred prayer.
Thank you for working on me.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to praise the mud.
Thank you for the glory that comes with growth.
Take your own thanks now.
Go now into your life,
Into the small parts,
The crevices of your days that seem insignificant or bothersome.
And know that these are the moments of becoming a softer version of yourself.
These are the moments that your heart will color your world with beauty if you only allow it to be so.
Take a deep breath in and a slow breath out.
Come back by wiggling your fingers and toes,
Rolling your neck.
Open your eyes when you're ready.
If you have a moment now,
Record in your journal what came up for you.
What are the sticky points in your days?
What are your mud moments?
And what color did they become when they dropped into the mud puddle?
Maybe you want to research that color and see what you find.
And lastly,
I'd like for you to transform the curse,
That curse that you might say,
I hate the mud.
It's so messy.
Transform that into your own prayer that you can say to yourself when you step deeply into the mud.
A prayer of thanks.
Record it on your phone or put it on a sticky note.
Put it somewhere where you'll see it and remember.
And if you'd like to share your experience with me,
You can comment below or you can send me an email directly.
I'd love to hear anything that you would like to share.
So until next time,
Big love.
