So sometimes people hear about loving-kindness meditation and well they assume it's supposed to feel warm and effortless right away.
Like you sit down,
You think about people you love and suddenly your heart just opens to the whole world.
But if you've ever tried it,
You know it doesn't always quite work that way.
Sometimes it feels natural,
Sometimes it feels neutral,
And sometimes sending kindness to someone difficult can feel like trying to push a car uphill.
But the beauty of this practice isn't in forcing a feeling,
It's just in practicing the intention and slowly expanding the circle of who we're willing to include in our care.
So today we're gonna walk through a loving- kindness meditation.
We'll start by settling the mind for a few moments with the breath and then we'll offer a few simple wishes for well-being.
First to someone that we love,
Then to ourselves,
Then to someone neutral and eventually even to someone that we might struggle with.
And we don't do this because we're saints,
But because practicing kindness slowly changes the shape of our own hearts.
So let's begin by settling in.
Find a comfortable position wherever you are.
And when you feel supported,
Just gently close your eyes,
Bring your attention to your breathing.
We're not changing the breath,
Just noticing it.
Breathing in,
Breathing out.
Maybe noticing the air moving through the nose or the rise and fall of the chest or belly.
We're just allowing the breath to be the anchor here.
And as with any meditation,
The mind will wander.
It's not a mistake or a failure,
That's just what minds do.
Whenever you notice that happening,
You can simply acknowledge it.
You can label it thinking and then guide your attention back to the breath.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Now I'd invite you to bring to mind someone that you care about,
Someone whose well-being genuinely matters to you.
You can maybe picture their face or simply sense them and think of their name.
It's taking a moment to let them come to mind.
And you can silently offer these wishes.
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be at ease.
If you'd like you can even soften the phrase a little.
To that person in your mind,
I hope you're safe.
I hope you're happy.
I hope you're healthy.
And I hope that you're at ease.
All right,
Let's bring yourself to mind now.
Sometimes this part of the practice can feel a little awkward.
We're often really good at wishing others well,
But we're slower to include ourselves in that same kindness,
Which is why this practice is so important.
But for now just bring yourself to heart and mind and allow yourself to receive the same wishes.
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be at ease.
We're not forcing a feeling,
We're just planting seeds.
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
And may I be at ease.
We're gonna move on to someone who maybe we feel neutral toward.
Someone that you see occasionally,
But you don't know very well.
Maybe a neighbor or a co-worker.
And offer them the same wishes.
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
And may you be at ease.
You know,
Just like you,
That person wants to be happy.
They're probably navigating their own hopes and worries.
So to them we can say,
I hope you're safe.
I hope you're happy.
I hope that you're healthy and I hope that you're at ease.
And finally we're going to bring to mind someone that we have some difficulty with.
Now it doesn't have to be the hardest relationship in your life.
It's okay to start small.
Remember that the practice isn't about approving of someone's behavior.
It is simply about recognizing their humanity.
Just like you they want to be happy.
Just like you they experience pain and uncertainty.
So with that understanding,
Offer the same wishes.
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
And may you be at ease.
And it's okay if it's not the easiest thing to do.
The practice here is all about intention.
I hope that you're safe.
I hope that you're happy.
I hope that you're healthy and I hope that you're at ease.
And now let's see if you can let the circle grow much wider.
Imagine everyone,
All beings,
Everywhere,
Across cities and countries,
People you will never meet,
Animals in the forests and oceans,
All life,
Sharing this beautiful planet.
And offer these wishes to everyone,
Everywhere.
May we all be safe.
May we all be happy.
May we all be healthy.
And may we all be at ease.
You know one of the most interesting things about this practice is that we're not actually controlling anything in the world when we do this.
We're not magically fixing everyone's problems.
But what we're really doing is training our heart.
It's training it to stay open a little longer.
It's left to its own habits.
The mind tends to sort people into categories pretty quickly.
People I like,
People I don't,
People I agree with and people I don't.
And loving-kindness gently loosens that grip.
It reminds us that underneath all the stories that we carry about each other,
Every person we encounter is basically trying to do the same basic things.
To feel safe,
To find some happiness and to avoid suffering.
So this practice isn't about becoming perfect.
It's about slowly widening the circle of who we're willing to include in our care.
Even if only a little bit at a time.
As we begin to close,
Let's just see if you might carry one small piece of this practice with you today.
The next time someone frustrates you,
Maybe in traffic,
Maybe online,
Maybe in a direct conversation,
You might just quietly offer one of these phrases.
May you be at ease.
Not because they deserve it more than anyone else,
But because keeping the heart open is a kind of freedom.
As Sharon Salzberg reminds us,
Loving-kindness is the ability to include all beings in our heart.
And we can practice that one person at a time.
As we close,
We can dedicate the goodness of this practice.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings experience joy and the happiness of others.
May all beings remain in equanimity,
Free from attachment,
Aversion and ignorance.
Let's take one slow breath in and a gentle breath out.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes and continue with your day.
Just carrying that quiet intention of kindness with you.
I hope you're safe.
I hope you're happy.
I hope you're healthy and I hope that you're at ease.
Thank you so much for joining me.
