I'm glad you're here to join me for this exploration of disappointment,
That deeper feeling when life doesn't unfold the way we plan,
Where you're spinning in your head trying to figure everything out.
What went wrong?
Why is life this way?
Let's look at it differently and not in the just-be-positive way.
Because,
In life,
Disappointment happens.
I know I feel disappointed when things don't work out the way I want.
Might be in how someone's dismissed me,
Or my idea of being rejected.
And when this happens,
I feel like I take a step back.
It sometimes feels like a gut punch,
Or heartache,
Or my mind on a carousel ride going round and round.
But instead,
Disappointment arises because the next step is unknown.
As humans,
We like certainty.
We like knowing.
But the thing is,
Even if everything had gone as I thought or hoped,
There would still be an unknown.
I still do not know what the next day brings.
What it gave me was something for my mind to hold on to,
As the mind likes to have certainty.
Otherwise,
It goes into survival and panic mode,
And now start the carousel ride of disappointment.
But when I slow down and listen to that inner me,
I get off the carousel ride.
I start to realize there is no one way.
There is no right way.
And there's not one way my path goes.
I start to turn disappointment on its head and realize that no matter the outcome,
Things are still uncertain and unknown.
And in the unknown is where that creativity begins.
So let's explore.
I invite you to grab anything you need to feel safe and comfortable.
Placing your hands in your lap,
Starting to settle in.
Closing your eyes or resting them with a soft gaze.
And if you choose,
You can breathe in for four counts,
Hold for four,
And exhale for four.
Finding your own pace,
Notice where you're holding tension in your body,
Trying to figure things out,
Grouping against uncertainty.
Let your breath soften that just a little bit.
There's nothing you need to know right now.
Just be here.
Bringing awareness to your heart center.
Give yourself some compassion for the disappointment,
For the uncertainty you're feeling.
You're not alone in this.
Bringing awareness in your mind's eye to a mountaintop.
You're standing at the peak,
Watching the sunrise,
Breathing in the possibility of a new day,
Feeling the crisp air where you can see for miles,
The landscape stretching out in all directions.
There's a sense of vastness,
Of being part of something much larger than yourself.
In this expanse of space,
You notice a blank canvas resting on a simple easel that catches the light,
Intending for this disappointment and the resistance,
The,
Isn't this how it should be,
The need for certainty.
Move on to this canvas.
As you place this in a bubble within your awareness,
And just observe.
Is there a certain color or texture?
Maybe there's movement or maybe there's nothing.
That's fine.
Just sit with the nothingness.
Embrace curiosity as you sit back and watch it tell its story.
It has a gift for you.
Be willing to let it unwrap in its own time.
Let go of needing to know the next step.
Release the idea that it needs to be a certain way.
This isn't something your mind can do,
But rather observation,
Curiosity,
And patience.
There's nothing to figure out.
What does it have to show you?
Is there a belief you're stuck in,
A thought that's looping?
Release that into a balloon and let the balloon go far,
Far away and explode.
Just let the painting show itself and just be.
Does it start to change size,
Shape,
Color?
Reminding you that designing your life is done stroke by stroke,
Color by color,
Little by little.
And in the end,
We have no idea how this painting is going to turn out.
And that's okay.
Just be.
What energy wants to release?
Self-doubt?
Let it dissolve into the canvas.
The need for certainty?
Watch it soften with each breath.
Upset,
Frustrated,
Anger at how things went?
Let it transform into a new color.
Letting it speak,
Letting it be.
Resistance to what is?
Feel at ease as you surrender to the unfolding.
You're not pushing this away.
You're letting it move,
Transform and become part of the larger picture.
Letting each stroke release the energy as it moves and paints the wisdom underneath.
Being okay with each color and each stroke at the moment has tremendous beauty in it.
The texture,
The shape,
The image,
The movement.
Each one cannot be created too soon or too late.
And check in with your breath.
Being present and open to curiosity.
Being okay with the unknown of what the next stroke on the painting will be.
Just letting it be.
No need to figure anything out right now.
Just sitting with this and allowing it to do all the work.
Does this have a story for you?
Any wisdom?
Maybe release the belief of what disappointment is to see it anew.
To see the beauty in it and the grace for yourself.
As this beauty unfolds,
It's something you can't even imagine.
Just be present and be with it.
And whatever message is here for you,
There are times it may come now or later.
But you have allowed it to move and flow.
You have held it and let it speak in its own right as it thanks you.
You can thank this painting for showing up now to guide you and help you find yourself.
The story in this painting is yours.
Your life is yours.
Let it unfold stroke by stroke.
And you'll look back and see the beauty in it all when you see the whole picture.
Trusting in the universe.
Trusting in how it unfolds.
And trusting in yourself.
And take a moment to give any gratitude.
You can pop this bubble.
As you start to wiggle your fingers and toes.
It's a big stretch and a yawn.
As you start to come back,
Take a deep breath.
It's beautiful work.
And just as a reminder,
Disappointment affects us all.
Even though in the moment we feel like it's just us.
Even when things go according to plan,
Eventually there is disappointment.
Because nothing is that predictable.
Uncertainty is always present.
The mind will always try to find certainty in no one's.
Breathe into the beauty that all is yet to be revealed.
Every moment is one stroke towards an image yet to be seen.
Your masterpiece is you.
Keep painting.
Every detail is beautiful.
