Accepting & Knowing Who We Are

What does your heart know about who you are, your values, what excites you, and what you long for? This guided somatic inquiry explores these big questions and keeps bringing us back to the knowledge itself. The next step might be to look at what is practical in the world but first, we need to know internally.

Transcript

One of the really exciting things about self-esteem and self-acceptance is that it opens the door to freedom.

Who would I be if I wasn't so conditioned to be the way I am?

And sometimes we might think about that in terms of big things.

So if you were completely free of conditioning,

What would your life be like?

Probably there would be some different people in it.

Maybe some of the people that we spend time with now out of guilt or people pleasing behavior,

Maybe they wouldn't be as much of a part of our life.

And maybe there would be some other people who maybe are a little bit more exciting,

A bit more aligned with who we really are.

It's one of the things that I love so much about this community and about this practice that we do together of getting to know ourselves and getting to love ourselves as we are is that it really opens the door to expressing more of who we are,

And we stop holding ourselves back.

What does your heart know about this?

So you could bring your hand to your heart if you wanted.

Just kind of sense into that.

And as you do that,

Also notice the whole of your body from head to toes.

So we have the heart,

What does the heart know?

And we also notice we might feel some excitement in our body.

There might be a feeling of dread.

We might be holding our breath.

There's a lot of different options that could be happening.

Keeping an eye on the whole of your body and then really focusing in on your heart.

What does your heart know?

If you fully accepted yourself as you are,

What would be different?

So we're working on two levels.

One is,

Who am I?

What do I know about who I am,

What I want,

What I'm interested in?

What are my values?

Do I want to take an art course?

Do I want to travel the world?

Do I want to.

.

.

What is it that we want to do?

But before we do things or before we express things,

How do we know that internally?

What does my heart know is not about what I'm going to do.

It's more about who am I?

What is my sense of what's important?

What would be free if I wasn't conditioned to hold it down?

One of the things we know about this deep inner work is that it's not primarily in words.

We think about it,

We have thoughts about it,

And it's a lot deeper than that too.

So now that we've put out some of those questions,

Let's let them sit there and notice what else is going on.

So notice your body again.

Take some deeper breaths.

Notice what that feels like.

And if there's anything in your body that could be softened or tension released,

Let's take a moment to do that.

And some of that will be just the long-standing habitual patterns in our body,

And some of it will be a reaction to the words we're just considering.

Who would I be?

How would I express if I was free?

And notice what it feels like to breathe.

Is your breath free?

Is there a lot of room in your body for your breath?

Are you holding it in?

Who would I be if I was free?

And notice your forehead and eyebrows,

Your eyes.

Let your face soften.

Relax your mouth and jaw.

Part of the equation here when we're looking at free or not so free is how we hold ourselves back.

Part of that is in our body.

We feel anxious or afraid.

Well,

If I was to actually do what I want,

I would have to do something.

And so we hold ourselves back from even knowing about that.

And one of the ways we do that or one of the ways that that shows up is tension and tightness in the body.

If you're holding your words back,

That might be part of what's going on with a tight jaw clenching your teeth.

When we soften and relax our body,

Often we can lean into what's here,

Give it a bit more room,

Give it some space.

And when we breathe more deeply,

That indicates that we're feeling safer.

It indicates that to our nervous system,

To our body,

It's safe enough to breathe deeply.

And that can be a little disconcerting sometimes.

We might have a lot of practice in moving towards freedom,

Or it might be something that we really put a lot of boundaries around.

I can't really do this because.

.

.

And it could be something social.

It could be something that we feel or that we have a lot of associations with in the past.

And sometimes we can handle the cost and sometimes we can't.

So it depends on where we're at,

How badly we want something,

What are the costs of it.

We could hold this with a softness and a kindness,

That these are complicated things.

Going after what we want or even seeing internally,

This is what I want,

Can shake up a lot of protective mechanisms.

We tend to go right from,

What do I want to.

.

.

Well,

If I do this,

It's going to happen this way.

If I do that,

Well,

What if I fail?

What if someone judges me?

Let's pull that back a little bit and now just focus on,

If I didn't have to bear any consequences,

If I could take that art class.

If I could say that thing or move to that place where I know there are people who are like me or whatever it might be for you.

If I could express myself more authentically in my family,

What would that be like?

What would be the internal experience of that?

So if you could pick one thing and just kind of work with it a little bit,

More helpful to be more specific generally.

Here to just sit with that for a moment,

What is one thing that you're holding back on?

Maybe internally that you're not really allowing yourself to get in touch with how important it is to you.

What is your longing?

Leaving aside the practical right now.

Just to notice,

Can you allow yourself to want something,

To long for something,

To see yourself in a different way or to acknowledge the importance of something?

Stay very connected in your body and your breath,

Just to see what could you allow yourself to feel or to free up inside.

And then again,

Look into what does my heart know about this?

What are my feelings or emotions?

And there might be some anxiety or excitement or your mind might be going into the future again.

Well,

If I do that,

This will happen.

So see if you could just bring it back for another minute.

And then feel into,

I completely accept and welcome this.

There's nothing wrong with me because I want this.

Because I feel this way,

Because I value this.

I fully accept myself.

And oftentimes we'll have some kind of a reservation or a reluctance.

We might feel it in our body.

We might notice that we're holding our breath.

These are the ways that we protect ourselves from danger,

From change that might be disruptive.

We're still just working with the feeling,

The felt sense,

Not the doing in the world.

Is it okay for me just to feel this?

Just to want this?

And notice if there's any feelings of there's something wrong with me because I want this.

Or that wouldn't go over very well.

So we could bring it out into the external world for a moment.

Just look at it,

Well,

You know,

This isn't really practical because of this or that.

Or sometimes those things are true.

It's not really practical to do something at a certain time.

And to look and see,

Am I shutting myself down preemptively?

Am I not allowing myself to even see it or to want it?

Let yourself kind of be aware of that too.

And then let's just go back now into the body,

Into the breath,

And let all of those thoughts move a little bit into the background.

Or maybe it's that we're not inquiring so intently into them.

Let everything be there as it is.

And notice again what's going on in your body.

What's happening in your breath?

What are the thoughts in your mind?

One of the things that often comes up when we're looking at something like this is a feeling of tension or anxiety or if our mind gets busy working it out,

Well,

How could I do that?

Or if I say that this person is going to do this or.

.

.

We're not really looking at a right or wrong way to express ourselves right now.

We're just seeing if we could allow ourselves to have the experience internally of knowing who we are and knowing what we want.

And if there are feelings of anxiety or guilt or,

Well,

If I did that,

Then I'd be turning my back on this person.

I feel like I owe things to them or whatever that might be.

Just notice if you can tolerate that.

Notice what's happening in your body.

And then see if you could release it.

Maybe some deep breaths,

Some long exhales.

You might want to get up and shake or throw it into the ground.

There's lots of ways that we can release energy out of our body.

We might also notice,

Well,

You know,

That was really something important when I was a young child and now I don't have to obey somebody else the way I did then.

Have more strength now to set my own values and what I feel is important to be alignment with my own life,

My own desires.

I can tolerate better now than I could when I was a child.

Children can't really tolerate being disapproved of or not being included,

But we're not children anymore now.

Just to notice,

What could I do to help myself with this?

One of the ways is to acknowledge that it might be here.

And there might also be a feeling of excitement here.

Can you feel excitement in your body as well?

Maybe an aliveness or starting to kind of think ahead to,

Well,

You know,

Maybe I could notice that as well.

Let's finish the practice again if you wanted to have your hand on the heart.

And again,

Just notice,

What is my heart telling me now?

What does my heart know?

And there can be so much going on in the heart.

Emotion,

Sadness,

Grief,

Regret,

Excitement.

Just to let ourselves sit with that for a moment.

And breathe in and breathe out.

Let yourself inhabit your heart.

And then when you're ready,

Finish the practice.

Reviews

Thank you for your safe guidance, Lynn. I am always so grateful for you🙏🏽

Lynn provides a gentle voice with seasoned studies of mind, body, energy, science and genuine world experience such that feeling fully safe during her practice is powerful.

This is really powerful & what I have been working towards. Thank you.

A powerful practice for reconnecting with suppressed needs and desires.

This track is absolutely incredible for those of us healing from codependency or trying to “re-parent” ourselves from conditioning. Very Beautiful and effective.

💖wowowow, sooo good💖