What Is The Question To Which Your Life Is The Answer?

What question is your life answering right now? In this thought-provoking talk, Lou explores a powerful concept from coach and spiritual teacher Maria Nemeth: that our actions may be unconsciously answering questions that shape the direction of our lives. Through personal stories and practical examples, you'll discover how to recognize disempowering questions and shift toward ones that cultivate greater purpose, contribution, and alignment. A powerful invitation to reflect on the story you're living and the future you're creating.

Transcript

Hello, Welcome. My name is Lou Redman. Thanks so much for listening. I am gonna share with you one of the most powerful questions that I've heard in a long time. I'm a big believer in asking powerful questions or being with powerful questions. That's almost like by being with the questions, We open up to new possibilities. It reminds me of that great line from Rilke, Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Like lock rooms and like books, They are written in a very foreign tongue. Live the questions now. Perhaps gradually you'll notice you'll be living some distant day into the answer. And so learning to be with powerful questions is a practice. And to notice when we're actually living disempowering questions. And that's what this talk is about. And I need to give credit where credit is due. I heard this concept from a podcast by Maria Namath. She is a master coach and spiritual teacher. And this was the title of the podcast, And it just gripped me. I wanted to know more. And the question is, What is the question in which your life is the answer to? What is the question in which your life is the answer to? We're all answering a question even if we don't know. And this talk is about trying to bring a little bit more awareness into exploring what are those questions that you're answering without knowing. She has five examples and five shifts and I'm going to give those again. These are all her words and ideas, But I'm going to paint some of my own examples in it. So the first disempowering question that we might be living the answer to is, How can I get what I deserve? How can I get what I deserve? And when we're living the answer to this question, We can feel very self-focused, Very entitled, Trying to make everything be fair. And it's just a very constricted way to live. And it's shown up for me before where I remember specifically for Insight Timer where I did one of their first workshops and I had this idea that I wanted all these people to sign up. It was the first time that I was having something that was offered on here where people could pay for. That's not the regular subscription. And I felt really entitled, Like I deserved all these people to be signing up. And I was very disappointed when I didn't get what I thought I deserved. I was focused more again on the entitlement into fairness. And the shift, The shift question is how can I create so much value that others rise with me? How can I create so much value that others rise with me? And this moves it from being fair to what am I contributing? It puts it on an expectation from the outside to what am I contributing from within? How can I just keep creating so much value that I'm going to make others rise alongside with me? The next disempowering question. How can I get recognition? Or how can I be seen by others? And so we might be subconsciously living this answer when we're like, Well, I need people to think I'm this way. I need to maybe get another certification because if they saw these letters after my name, Then I'm going to be recognized or seen in a certain way. We might be living the answer to this question very unconsciously. And so again, The shift is less about focusing on us and more about this question, How can I become someone who sees the greatness in others? How can I become someone who sees the greatness in others? Shifting it from what we're being perceived as to having glasses that we wear that's looking at times and seeing the potential, Seeing the greatness in the people that we come across. And the more that we acknowledge that greatness in others, We're not going to need others to acknowledge it in us. We're fulfilled from the inside. Next question. Disempowering question that is, That we might be asking to ourselves where we might be living the answer without even knowing it is, How do I measure up? How do I measure up? We are always living in comparison. This is so common. This happens on social media where we're scrolling and we're comparing, You know, How our lives look to other people. And this might happen when we walk into a room, We walk into a new room, There's a bunch of people and we're constantly asking, Do I belong here? Do I belong in this space? Very, Very human to be asking, Do I belong? It's a very foundational need for belonging. And it reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote, You are only free when you realize you belong no place. You belong every place, No place at all. The price is high. The reward is great. You are only free when you realize you belong no place. You belong every place. No place at all. The price is high. The reward is great. I'll be somewhat vulnerable here to share how my life can be answering this question unconsciously. When I see a friend, I have a friend, Darius Bashar, Who's also a teacher on Insight Timer, And I'll notice he posted a new meditation and I will go to check his meditation. But what I'm really checking is to see how many plays does Darius get on his meditation in the first day versus how many get and so what am I answering again subconsciously I'm not really like asking myself I wonder how I measure up but that's my actions my actions are answering that question of how do I measure up and it's not a great feeling it's not a good place to be And so the shift. . . From how do I measure up is how do I show up? How do I? Focus on, As Stephen Covey would call it, My circle of influence. How do I show up? How do I make things better? How do I create a positive change because I was here? Because that's what I can control. I can't control how many people listen to Darius's meditation versus my meditations. That's a silly thing to think about. But I can show up and create the best work that I can and trust that the people that are meant to receive it are gonna receive it and just focus on the work. On how do I show up. And this moves us, Maria notes us, From evaluation to creation. To being in our creative channel. Similarly to the getting what I deserve question, We get out of judging into expressing. And so number four, Disempowering question, How can I get approval? How can I get approval? So much of our lives might be unconsciously answering this by, Okay, Well, If I get a certain job. I'll get approval from my parents. If I get a certain amount of money, I'll get approval from society. Or if I get this car or this sort of thing, I'll be approved in my community. And again, It's very disempowering. It's very other focused. It's very caring what other people think versus the shift, The question that we should be asking or maybe asking to be more empowered. I shouldn't say should. How can I live in alignment with what I know is true? How can I live in alignment with what I know is true? And we focus on that, Then we don't need to necessarily get approval because we know we have our own value system. We have our own set of principles and if we're living in accordance to that and others don't approve, That's okay. That's okay. It's not for them. And so lastly, Last question. And this one's big. This one was the question that I realized, Oh my gosh, I've been living the answer to unconsciously. And that question is, How can I find success? I'm an Enneagram 3, Which is the achiever archetype. And so much of my life is trying to get worth, A sense of value in the world through what I achieve. And so I'm constantly asking, How do I be successful? How do I be successful? And a lot of the actions, And there's good in here, Of course, We wanna be successful, We wanna do good, But it's coming from not the most wholesome place. There's a better place to work towards success. And I realized that so much is me trying to find success because I'm trying to fill some hole where I'm not valuable unless people see me in a certain light. And the shift that I've been exploring is. . . How can my success be a platform? To lift others up. Who benefits because I succeeded? Who benefits because I succeeded? And I love how Maria makes this discernment. It moves from achievement, Focusing on what we can achieve, To the impact that we're making. The impact that if I succeed, I'm bringing all these other people up, That my platform is here to lift others up. And I've been really trying to sit with that as I have a platform here. How can this platform, How can my success here lift other people up? So that's been a question that I've been trying to answer with my life and sitting with that question. And so there are many other questions that your life might be answering. You might be just answering the question of how can I pay my bills? And your life is answering that question. Oh, I got to go to this job. I don't really like it, But I'm doing this thing. And so it's worth taking some time and thinking about what are other questions that my life is answering? Or if you just look at your day to day, What is the question your life answering? And do you want to create, Can you create a more empowering question? Is that possible? And so I encourage you, And this is again, Crediting Maria Nemeth, You can look up her version of this podcast, Because I just really want to emphasize that these are not my questions but she encourages a journaling prompt and the journaling prompt is to answer the question my life has been answering up until now is. . . The question I would rather have my life answer is. . . One way I can begin living that answer this week is dot dot dot. So I encourage you to reflect on this and just to give a recap of the questions and the shifts. How can I get what I deserve? Moves to how can I create so much value that others rise with me? How can I get recognition moves to how can I become someone who sees the greatness in others? How do I measure up moves to how do I show up. How can I get approval shifts to, How can I live in alignment with what I know is true? How can I find success? Shifts to how can my success be a platform to lift others up? It is my intention with so much of what I put out here that it lifts you up, Helps you reconnect with who you are, What you're about, What you're pursuing, Helps you stay in the game, Helps you contemplate your life in different ways, And helps you continue the journey of being the best version that you can be in this world. So thank you so, So much for being here, For listening, And as always, I'd love to hear what you thought. Feel free to leave a comment. And also if you find, You figure out a question that you're answering, I'd love, Yeah, Let me know in the comments or let me know which one was like, Oh yeah, That's me. My life is an answer too. I love reading it. I read all of them. I may not always respond to all of them, But know that I read them. So thanks so much for being here and I look forward to supporting you, Connecting with you very soon.

Reviews

That was a powerful question ❤️ what a great shift in perspective!

Great questions to ponder 🤔

Lou , wow - me too. I question, “If less people sign up for my class, does it mean that I’m loved less or worth less than the other instructors ?” I struggle with this not-enoughness and your talk, saying ‘me too’, helps me realize I am not alone or unique ❤️

Also, “you are only free when you realize you belong no place [and every place] reminding me so much of neti, neti and iti, iti - a concept, for me, with the safest landing
.thank you for this insight- i needed this today