The following exercise by Lou Laspergato is designed to transform the effects of painful feelings by relating them to our values and yearnings from which we can derive meaning and purpose.
Find a relatively comfortable position where you can be undisturbed for the next 8 to 10 minutes.
Softly closing your eyes if that suits you,
Or keeping them open if preferred,
Gently bring your attention to your breathing,
Noticing the in and out sensations.
And for the next few breaths,
Try emphasizing a long,
Slow exhale as a means of centering yourself and settling into this exercise.
Gradually allowing your breathing to find its own rate and rhythm,
See if you can willingly adopt an attitude of openness or receptivity,
Being open to what transpires during this exercise.
Now,
Your mind might naturally attempt to pull you away from feelings that show up,
As it's just trying to protect you,
So we can acknowledge that when it occurs,
Or even thank our mind for looking out for us.
You can even return your attention to your breath for brief moments at a time if needed.
But otherwise,
I'm going to invite you to keep coming back to your experience as it unfolds.
Take a moment to reflect upon a recent or anticipated challenging event in your life.
This could be in the context of a relationship,
A work stressor,
A health concern,
A socio-cultural political issue,
Any event,
Whether it be transient or ongoing,
That evokes unpleasant or painful emotions for you.
As you scan your life,
Choose one particular issue to focus on,
Allowing any feelings to arise in the process.
Tune into the most painful feeling showing up right now.
Notice where you can sense it in your body.
And while not essential,
See if you can identify the emotion.
Is this fear,
Anger,
Sadness,
Shame,
Or some other feeling?
Whatever it is,
Gently hold it in your awareness,
As if you were holding a delicate,
Precious,
Flower.
Notice any urges to pull away,
And if willing,
Come back to being with your experience just as it is.
Now,
Consider the following questions,
Curiously noting what emerges in response.
If this feeling had a voice and could speak to what deeply matters to you,
Or what you long for in this context,
What would it say?
In other words,
What would you have to not care about to not experience this pain?
Once again,
If this feeling had a voice and could speak to what deeply matters to you,
Or what you long for in this situation,
What would it say?
What would you have to not care about to not experience this pain?
You may begin to recognize that this painful feeling and what matters to you,
Or what you long for,
Are like two sides of the same coin.
Because we care where we hurt,
And we hurt where we care.
With this in mind,
Consider what the future you would like to do with this new awareness.
How might it affect the choices you make going forward?
As this exercise comes to a close,
Gently bring your attention back to the physical sensations of your breath,
Perhaps emphasizing one more long,
Slow exhale.
Slowly opening your eyes if they're not opened yet,
And reorienting to your surroundings.
