Daughters Of Narcissistic Mothers

Daughters who have felt emotionally neglected by their mothers develop low self-worth, and crippling self-doubt, and learn to beg for approval from partners, managers, their children, friends, and even employees. We are women that do too much for others, subconsciously hoping that whatever we offer will be enough to gain others' love and validation. We disown parts of ourselves and live with a deep mother hunger we cannot name.

Transcript

So today we're going to be talking about the karmic patterns adult daughters of narcissistic mothers naturally follow below the veil of consciousness.

So if you are the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother then undoubtedly your life has been very difficult.

You have grown up feeling not good enough,

You have grown up feeling like perhaps your mother was jealous of you,

You have grown up being afraid to actually speak that truth,

You doubt your reality,

You feel ashamed that you don't have a connection with your mother,

You're not quite sure what is broken.

A long time ago perhaps when you were still a small child you assumed that there was something wrong with you and that's why it was unavailable to you,

Your mother's life was unavailable to you,

Her love was unavailable to you.

So the fact that your mother was emotionally unavailable you assumed guilt for,

You assumed was your fault and that is where shame comes from.

The cornerstone of a healthy mind really is the ability to see oneself as worthy of love and respect and to believe oneself is capable of the challenges that life is going to throw at us and life will throw challenges at us.

The ability to recognize ourselves as being worthy of esteem,

The ability to recognize that we are both light and dark at the same time,

Therefore we will make mistakes,

Therefore we will dance with our shadows from time to time.

And because that is true we also need to have a certain sense of esteem that allows us to also experience self-compassion,

Compassion for the self for when we recognize we've danced with our shadows longer than we would have liked to or we were living below the veil of consciousness and repeating unhealthy patterns outside of our awareness and we hurt people,

We didn't mean to but we did.

And so when you have a healthy relationship with a strong role model,

Specifically your mother and you are a daughter then you are receiving this powerful feminine divine energy that allows you to develop your own powerful feminine divine energy,

An energy that is compassionate,

An energy that is forgiving,

An energy that is creative.

But when you are denied compassion,

When you are denied healthy sense of self,

When you are denied forgiveness,

When you are denied this connection to this being that your being assumes is divine,

Then your natural ability to stay connected to spirit is lost,

At least temporarily.

Your higher self is the door that no one can shut,

Your higher self is always there,

Your spirit is always there trying to guide you and you know it because you sense your intuition dear one,

You know when you've ignored a red flag,

The red flag is one thing but the intuition that this is a red flag comes from the divine.

Now if you have been denied a right to feel love then you feel disconnected from the sacred energy within you and that's not your fault.

And so you get stuck in the 3D,

I call it the 3D quagmire experience,

You get stuck on this quantum timeline,

You get stuck in the reality of the wounded inner child,

You get stuck full of all of these abandonment wounds and your ego then has assumed that it's your fault that you have been experiencing abandonment and then your inner critic gets involved which is also below the veil of consciousness and is trying to get you to people please or to enable or to figure out how to seek approval from another 3D faulty dualistic personality.

But this all happens below the veil of consciousness and it's not an easy path out of this and I feel the reality is that those of us who are gravitating towards this information tend to be wounded healers,

We tend to be empaths,

We tend to be people that we refer to as light workers,

People who we refer to as seers,

People who we refer to as shamans,

They don't even know that they're shamans meaning that we are a collective of people who are here and we feel called to figure out what's this stuff within me like am I here to transcend,

What is this spiritual calling,

What is this spiritual transformation,

Why has my life been so difficult.

A lot of people aren't asking those questions and so I don't think it's any coincidence that you're hearing these words or you're receiving this message or feeling these vibrations.

In fact I believe that you're supposed to be here and you're supposed to be hearing this and your spirit is supposed to be moved.

Why?

So that you can awaken,

So that you can transmute,

So that you can keep up with the natural energies that are this planet.

What I mean by that is that we know that the planet itself or the universe itself is expanding because we can measure the distance between planets and stars.

So this universe itself is expansive and so we know then that it is important for us to also expand.

We should not remain below the veil of consciousness thinking like an earthworm or thinking like a German Shepherd.

We are divine human beings with the ability to speak and to think unlike an earthworm,

Unlike a wild horse and I say it's high time we learn to use it.

So the ability to observe the way you think is called metacognition.

That's self-awareness.

Without self-awareness you can't shift.

It's very important for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers and or alcoholic mothers because alcoholic mothers are consumed by their addiction and we also recognize that addiction is fueled by very oftentimes abandonment and not being able to escape this inner pain.

However until an alcoholic mother very much like a narcissistic mother accepts that something's wrong and does the self-awareness work or the inner child healing work or the spiritual work necessary to look within then the trauma that is fueling the addiction or the trauma that is fueling the narcissism persists.

This 3D world is one that's built by default if you will.

There are patterns and programs in place that bypass what any of us really understand.

In other words like we all incarnate on this planet unaware that we're snapping into a karmic grid or snapping into our mother's karma.

We are aligning with our mother's energy and by default we will manifest a lot of if not all of what our mothers have experienced.

So if we had a difficult relationship with our mother and our mother had a difficult relationship with her mother it is not rocket science when we awaken as adult daughters on this path and realize we're struggling with our relationships with our daughters and but we don't know why.

And stuck in the 3D our ego is telling us that we're right and our daughters are wrong.

She's like her father or she's like her grandfather or she's like her grandmother.

It's hard for us to recognize what's really going on,

What's really happening at a quantum level,

What's really happening in the dimension of spirit,

What's really going on.

And so it is possible if you are the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother that you are walking in her karmic shoes and don't even realize it.

How does that happen?

Well if your mother is a narcissist and she suffered rejection in her life and she's just decided that there's no way to please anybody so now she's just going to please herself,

Take no accountability,

Remain a two year old that wants her way and feels entitled and believes that she's a victim well then you're going to be her antagonist in her life.

She's going to view you that way.

Now until she awakens this stays the way it is.

She can be 90 years old and you could be her caretaker and she could still believe that you're not doing enough for her.

I hear this.

I hear this in my membership site.

I hear this inside my coaching programs.

This happens.

So how does our mother's karma then affect us and how do we snap into this karmic wheel?

Well if my mother rejects me then I am tethered to her experience because her abandonment has wounded me and now as a result I act out that abandonment.

How does that abandonment act out?

Through codependency,

Through not feeling good enough,

Through seeking approval,

Through editing myself and morphing myself and trying to figure out what other people think I should be and then twisting myself into a pretzel until I have met the expectation and perception I think that you have of me.

I continue on this journey.

I am continue on this karmic wheel and this is true for sons as well as daughters of narcissistic mothers and narcissistic fathers.

We feel wounded and we're stuck and below the veil of consciousness this wound is now playing out in a karmic way,

The law of cause and effect.

So I am by default have no other recourse but to remain asleep in this matrix experience until I awaken.

Now as we awaken it is a very rocky road because I remember the moment when I realized like wait a minute like who's thinking these thoughts where are these thoughts coming from?

It was this moment of metacognition that made me feel very destabilized.

Up until that point in time I never questioned my thoughts or my beliefs and even in my codependency when I was unaware I was codependent and arguing with my ex-husband like why don't you see me please can you see me and had no idea that he was doing anything wrong.

And so I thought that I was doing everything wrong and that all I had to do was figure out how to get him to hear me,

How to get him to see me.

So I just assumed that my language was off,

I wasn't saying things the right way,

I had no idea that the person that I was living with had as many issues as I did.

I had been programmed my mother's karma to feel not good enough and to assume that I was wrong all the time and to assume that it was my job to figure out how to please this person so he could find value in me and keep me around.

And that's the way a lot of wounded adult daughters settle for crumbs and then what we do below the veil of consciousness because our spirits are rumbling we just don't know how to align the mental field so that our spirit can be set free.

We don't know how to overcome and transcend and transmute the past so we're stuck in this dimension of reality that really isn't reality at all but we make it our reality.

The true reality is that we are one with all that is and that our spirits are boundless and that we have come to live the life that really does celebrate the fact that we are spirit incarnate but we get stuck in the mental plane,

We get stuck in the 3D and we're interfacing with other people who are unaware and they're stuck in the 3D,

They're stuck on their mother and father's karmic wheel and then this hologram continues.

And so when you start to awaken it can be a very topsy-turvy experience because now you're questioning everything and so if that is you I welcome you to the family of light,

I welcome you to the path of enlightenment,

I welcome you to an amazing opportunity to live your best life despite the past.

I welcome you to living above the veil of consciousness beyond the karma,

Beyond the patterns,

Beyond subconsciousness.

All human beings are born asleep into a sleep state that's why newborns sleep so much and they remain in this sleep state until they transition into a more theta brainwave state but the theta brainwave state is a hypnotic brainwave state and so whatever you are conditioned to experience during that time becomes your hypnotic trance.

So yes your narcissistic mother,

All of the abandonment,

The patterns that you observed in your grandmother and your mother for instance or your mother in relationship to other people that all becomes part of your download and below the veil of consciousness you never question it.

So as you age and you start to date you move into a different frequency and you're unaware of the prior frequencies and now you're acting out everything that you were taught to believe in and until you awaken you remain there and this is the tragedy of being born to a narcissistic mother.

If you're born to a healthy mom and you love yourself and you have high regard for yourself and you're not narcissistic,

You have empathy for other people,

You stay in your own lane,

You mind your own business,

You've been taught that people are allowed to not like you,

They're allowed to feel whatever they feel about you and you don't have to get hung up on it.

You can just keep paving your own path.

So you're not destabilized by negative opinions but when we are struggling to live above the veil of consciousness we're going to have to take some time to recognize what's been happening because it is a time of confusion,

It's a time of questioning absolutely everything and lots of times what we do is we start to isolate ourselves because now we're not trusting what's going on in our mind and if you can just develop the wherewithal to withstand those moments,

In other words like know that you are in the precipice of creating a new reality for yourself,

You are on the precipice of creating another path for you and your children,

You are on another path towards creating abundance.

So destiny isn't predetermined although if you have a narcissistic mom you will fall into the karmic pattern that is the cause of the effect of the pattern.

So it's your mom's karma as a result of her mother's karma and vice versa and vice versa and so on and so on that affects your journey and you will stay locked in the consequences of your mother's karma until you awaken and I was there for a long time,

I even had two daughters and a son just like my mom,

I married someone who in my opinion,

Again this is just my opinion,

Who was very much like my mom below the veil of consciousness,

Used religion to actually feel self-righteous in relationship to other people,

This was someone who would use the Bible against me and very similar to my own mom and so I married someone that was similar to her and that was part of the cause and effect,

That was part of the karma,

My mother's karma,

How I plugged into it,

My mother acquiesced,

My mother subjugated just like I did,

My mother I believe had so much potential because I saw glimpses of it but she suppressed it for the sake of my dad because she knew that my father wanted her to be a certain way,

He wanted her to be subjugated,

He wanted her to be by his side,

He didn't want her to get too big for her britches,

He didn't want her to be super confident and so she suppressed herself for his sake and I certainly did that for the 12 years that I was married and so it really is important that we recognize that we can fall into our mother's karmic patterns and what's super super sad and I think we need to take accountability for especially if we are moms is that there is a consequence to our babies as well and so it is important that if you are hearing this message and it resonates with you,

You accept the call to break the patterns,

You accept the call to come out of your mother's karma,

You accept that you can heal,

You do what you can to heal from codependency,

You do what you can to heal feeling not good enough because that really is the key to your future life,

That is the key to you creating an entirely new paradigm and hologram for your children and my children are living a different hologram,

They are living a different paradigm because I decided to come off my mother's karmic wheel and it really did feel like I was ripping my skin off because I had to choose myself at the expense of my family,

I had to choose myself,

A self I didn't even know yet at the expense of letting my mother go,

At the expense of saying goodbye to my family as I knew it,

I had to take a leap of faith and discover who I was and come out of the perceptions and the expectations my family had of me.

My family thought I was a big mouth,

Well maybe they were far off but my family had very negative opinions about me and if you have this experience,

You will understand what I say when it can be difficult when you are around people who have this expectation of you to be your true self,

It's like their energy is so heavy on you and there's like you just can't be carefree,

You can't be honest,

You can't be open,

It's like a pack of wolves are about to pounce on you anytime you show a facet that doesn't mirror what they think you are or what they want you to think you are and that is really one of the travesties of being raised in a narcissistic family with lack of boundaries,

With toxicity where no one is supporting anyone,

That everybody minimizes their successes and no one really celebrates their successes and actually looks to bring someone down,

I mean it's sad and ridiculous to believe that toxic families like this exist but they do.

Healthy families celebrate everyone and healthy families support everyone when someone is struggling,

There is no suppression of success,

There is no trying to kick someone when they are down and unfortunately that is the hallmark of a toxic family and often times it's the mother and the father who are toxic that are teaching the other children how to treat one another this way.

So if you have a narcissistic mom and you grew up the abandoned adult daughter and you felt like your mother was jealous of you or you felt like your mother wouldn't celebrate you or you felt like your mother had to kibosh all of your successes and you felt like your mom was someone who exploited your vulnerabilities then it's not uncommon for you to also experience that with your siblings but I'm here to tell you that there is success on the other side of this,

That you can peel yourself off your mother's karmic wheel,

You can decide your own path,

You can break through and it is the most amazing experience to come to the other side to heal yourself and to recognize yourself separate than who your mother caused you to feel when you were experiencing her karma as the inner child and then as the unconscious human being stuck in a 3D experience that you may not even have been aware that was a subconscious reality or a manifestation of subconscious beliefs and when you stand on the precipice of awakening and you realize that you can think anything that you want and when you realize that when you organize the mental field you clear the channel for you to be able to experience your higher self,

You are able to integrate with your soul self so your shadow self is now in balance with the light within and that's your job,

That's your journey.

For the rest of my life I will always be balancing duality while I am in the human body and that's okay because I know that I can and now I have the tools to be able to do it and the past no longer controls me and I am absolutely excited about the future and to see the work in my children come into fruition has made all the struggles worth it.

Reviews

This talk especially felt like you somehow could see into my relationship with my mom and know all of the secret thoughts of her being jealous and non-supportive that made me feel bad about myself. Even you saying “too big for her britches“ sounds like something my family would say! You’re absolutely heaven sent! 🙏

Very informative, thank you 🙏🏼

Thank you 🙏

Very good.

I’m so grateful to have found her teachings. I have no idea how she knows my mother to a T but wow. Namaste, Lisa. So much love 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

This gave me so much hope. I felt like you were telling my life story. Question... can you have your mom's trauma symptoms even if you didn't experience the same traumatic event she did?

I related so much to this. I have that 90 year old narcissist mother who I was caregiver for & still couldn’t do enough for her. Thank goodness now I am no contact. Thank you, Lisa, for making me realize that I am free.

Wow! Just wow! Thank you !

A good reminder and one unneeded sorely today. Thank you.

Tears and more tears

Thank you 🙏🏼😊 This has given me more clarity and the knowledge that I am not alone, right at the perfect time.

Thank you. I felt neglected by my mom as a child and ridiculed by my siblings. As a very young child, I created an alternative reality for myself. I left home at an early age and married into a toxic relationship. I’ve been divorced and ironically, clean and sober for over 20 years now. Unfortunately, my kids are stuck in the patterns that you speak about and are struggling with their own addictions. During the first 10 years of my recovery, I was able to establish a relationship with my mother that I never thought I would have, my recovery allowed me to love her despite her imperfections. At some point, she quit belittling me. I resonated with everything you said, mostly the feelings. I recently moved away from my addicted children. I’m trying to break the karmic patterns of my family, but I continue to hang onto some shreds of codependency.. for the past two years I’ve been excepting crumbs in a relationship that has so many red flags, it could be a circus. Each day I wake a little more. Thank you so much Lisa.🖤🖤🖤🖤

It’s like she reached into my soul and told me everything that’s happened.

Worth listening to more than once! Lots to unpack. Thanks, Lisa. 🙏

Absolutely accurate. Thanks for sharing this wisdom ❤
These neuropath ways are learning new ways and I'm living it!! 😁

my alcoholic and narcissistic mom used to blame me for all her problems- this talk set me free. thank you 💜🧡💙