Mindfulness For Caregivers Of Those With Chronic Diagnosis

Caring for a loved one who is suffering brings many dimensions of suffering for the caregiver as well, and often without relief. In this meditation, Laurie will guide you in bringing gentle awareness to your own experience in this journey and teach you how to share compassion in two directions- for yourself and the other. You can do this by yourself for peace and renewal, and you can do it in the moment – as you are caring for your loved one.

Transcript

Hello,

I'm Laurie Cameron.

In this session,

We'll work with cultivating compassion for ourselves and the person we are caring for as they navigate chronic illness and pain.

This work is inspired by the research and writing of Dr.

Kristin Neff,

A pioneer in self-compassion.

For people with chronic pain and illness,

Self-compassion is a powerful balm.

The same is true for those that care for others in pain or who are suffering a chronic or terminal illness.

There is a strong connection between mindfulness and self-compassion.

In fact,

The first step to self-compassion is to be mindful that you are in pain,

That you too are suffering in the caregiving journey.

Self-compassion is different than the idea of fighting something or wishing it wasn't here or battling it.

It's the ability to relate to that pain with an accepting stance instead of fighting it and resisting it.

I wish I wasn't feeling this emotional sadness,

This anger,

This grief,

Which we know just make things worse and instead accepting this is the reality.

I'm feeling this pain,

This hard moment,

This experience,

And giving it space.

We don't just stop at mindfully acknowledging what is hard.

What self-compassion does is it adds warmth and kindness to being aware of what we're going through right now.

As caregivers,

We acknowledge the emotional suffering,

The difficulty in this experience,

And we name it.

We recognize that we're not alone in this experience.

Many people at this moment are experiencing what we are.

We then bring a warmth and kindness to it.

In our role of caring for a loved one or a patient or a friend,

We can integrate self-compassion for ourselves with compassion for them.

I'll guide you here as a meditation,

But this is for you to do in the moment as well,

In the moments with the person,

In quiet moments alone with yourself,

As a way to restore,

Strengthen,

And offer yourself peace.

Let's practice together.

Find a way to sit or lie down that's comfortable and relaxed,

Whatever that means for you.

Feel the contact points with your body,

Your feet,

Your back,

Whatever you might be resting on,

A chair,

Sofa,

Bed.

Take a few deep breaths here.

Slow,

Easy breathing.

Now allow yourself to get in touch with some of the stress that you are experiencing.

You're making space for it,

Turning attention inward,

Tuning into your own experience.

When we're caring for people experiencing chronic illness or pain,

We often feel overwhelmed,

Tired,

Exhausted,

Maybe helpless,

Frustrated.

Maybe there are difficult emotions you don't want to feel.

Right here in this space,

Let everything arise,

Anger,

Fear,

Sadness,

Feelings of not being enough or doing enough.

So let's invite in equanimity,

The idea that we can cultivate an inner state of balance and peace,

Resting on acceptance for life as it is right now.

Let's remember that we are human.

We have gifts and limitations.

Moments like these are hard to bear.

This experience of caring for someone with a chronic illness,

It's very difficult.

We can say to ourselves that,

I'll try to help if I can,

I'll do what I can.

When each individual is on their own journey,

We can rest in this idea with equanimity.

Having those words settle in,

Bring a kind awareness to this knowing,

This place of peace.

And now turn attention back to breathing,

Feeling your body breathe.

Realizing how the breath nourishes you,

Gives you energy and oxygen that your body needs.

As you breathe in,

Imagine that you are breathing in compassion for yourself.

If you like,

Imagine a white or golden light is entering you with the breath,

Giving you warmth,

Safety,

And protection.

Breathing in this golden light brings warmth and kindness to your own struggle,

Your emotional pain,

The difficulty you experience as a caregiver.

Finding yourself what you need right now.

Maybe that's strength,

Courage,

Acceptance,

Peace,

Stillness.

Really breathing in kindness and compassion.

Breathing in for yourself.

Now bring your awareness to your out-breath.

Seeing the rise and fall of your chest or abdomen,

Noticing the exhale as you breathe.

As you breathe out,

Focus on the person that you're caring for.

See them in your mind's eye if you're not in the same room.

And as you continue to practice this,

You can do that right next to their bed,

Right with them,

Or chair,

Wherever they might be.

This turning attention to the other.

Imagine you're breathing compassion to them.

Your exhale is filling their body with a golden light,

With warmth.

Your breath can carry to them what they need.

It might be strength,

Acceptance,

Kindness,

Courage,

Peace.

With each exhale,

Breathing kindness and compassion to the other.

Now bring them both together.

The inhale and the exhale.

The nourishing golden light coming in for you and out for them.

As we bring them both together,

You can say silently,

In for me and out for you.

In for me and out for you.

You can experiment with words as you breathe.

Peace for me is for you.

Care for me,

Care for you.

Strength for me,

Strength for you.

Feeling the body breathe,

Feeling the inhale and the exhale.

If you like,

You can adjust the ratios.

If you're having a really hard time right now,

You can breathe in more for yourself,

Four for me,

One for you,

Or ten for me,

One for you.

If the person you're caring for is going through something particularly difficult,

You could do one for me,

Four for you,

Or one for me,

Ten for you.

Sense into what's needed this day,

This moment.

You can adjust the ratios.

Just always include both of you in your circle of compassion.

Resting on the breath.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Remembering the wisdom at the core of knowing our humanity,

That everyone is on their own life journey.

I am not the cause of this person's suffering,

Nor can I make it go away,

Even though I wish I could.

These experiences are difficult to bear,

And I will help where I can.

I am human too.

I can do so much and meet this experience with loving awareness,

With acceptance and compassion.

Feeling the breath,

The in-breath and the out-breath.

Expanding your awareness and widening circles around you.

Reminding yourself that the source of compassion is unlimited,

A vast,

Expansive ocean of kindness and care.

There is more than enough for you and the person you're caring for.

We remember that we can include ourselves and the other in our circle of loving awareness and compassion.

Just resting here.

Resting on the breath.

If you like,

You can put a hand on your heart and your chest area,

Feeling the weight of the hand,

Knowing that touch releases oxytocin,

Bathes us in this nourishing neurotransmitter.

We can attend and befriend ourselves as we care for others.

Bringing in a sense of gratitude.

Gratitude for yourself,

That you made space and time to do this practice with me.

Gratitude for all the caregivers that are extending care and kindness to others in this moment,

Just like you.

You are not alone in this.

As you breathe,

I thank you for being here.

May you be peaceful.

May you be healthy.

May you be strong.

And may you live and love with ease.

Reviews

Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful practice as a caregiver it’s such a useful meditation I will use it daily :)

I found this to be such a wise, soft and supportive practice, it is one I will return to often. Thank you so much 🙏

So beautiful and perfect for me right now as I am supporting my mom in her end of life journey. Thank you so much Laurie 💜🌹🌿

Very helpful for a caregiver who feels themselves succumbing to overwhelm.

Just what I needed. Thank you! I will return to this often.

Very helpful. The concepts and practices were very welcome, but an equally soothing active ingredient was the warmth of your voice. Thank you for this.

I'm going to share this with a friend whose wife is dealing with bowel cancer.

As I caregive for my daughter with cancer, this is just what I needed this morning. Thank you so, so much. ❤️

Beautiful. Thank you Laurie. I am sending this to my aunt who’s taking care of my uncle 🙏

Beautiful & so helpful in accepting an unbearable situation & giving compassion & kindness to myself & my son. Thank you! 🙏🏻

Just wonderful

This meditation is a much needed addition to any caregiver’s day—care PLUS self-care
Deeply nurturing and supportive.
Guiltless acknowledgment of one’s own stress in caring for another.
A powerful exercise to balance thoughts and feelings. TY Laurie! 🙏🏼❤️