Hi,
And welcome to Daily Insight.
My name is Karen.
I'm a teacher with Insight Timer,
And I'm really glad that you're taking this time today to enjoy a quiet moment.
You deserve it.
In today's insight,
We're going to be looking at the importance of letting go anger and resentment.
The negative physiological effects of anger and resentment are incredibly damaging to the body.
And when it comes to health,
Resentment can weaken your immune system while increasing stress and anxiety and the risk of heart disease,
Hypertension,
Stroke,
Even cancer.
It can cause addictions and compulsive behavior.
It's also been linked to shortening lifespan.
So there are a lot of reasons why you want to let it go.
Understanding where the emotional state of resentment and anger originates may help you to release these negative emotions.
We can generally speaking place emotions into two basic camps,
Primary and secondary emotions.
To understand this,
We need to understand the difference between primary emotions and secondary emotions.
A simple way to differentiate between these two is this.
Primary emotions are simply our initial instinctual reaction to external stimuli or events.
Once the stimuli is removed,
The primary emotion dissipates almost as quickly as it presented itself.
Secondary emotions are reactions that we have to our reactions.
If left unchecked,
Secondary emotions can fester,
Grow and intensify.
So how do we let go of resentment and anger?
To do this,
We need to remove the emotional charge associated with the story that you've told yourself.
Leave the attachment that you feel to the story itself.
Question the credibility of the story.
Question the story itself and your understanding of it.
And question the part you played in it.
And so,
If you would like to find a comfortable place,
Seated or laying,
Remove yourself from the general hustle and bustle of the house.
If you're laying,
Uncross your legs and make sure you're going to be warm and comfortable.
If seated,
Lean just a little bit forward so that your hip bones are tilted forward.
This will help to keep breathing nice and open by simply opening the chest.
If you're comfortable with eyes closed,
You can close them now.
Let's begin with a nice deep breath in.
As you breathe in,
Allow space to be made in your body.
As you exhale,
Let the body soften and release any tension.
Breathing in deeply,
Notice the belly swell.
As you exhale,
Notice the belly sink.
Breathing in,
Opening to all possibilities.
Exhaling,
Softening into the possibility that something great is about to happen.
Now take a moment to presence yourself.
To notice how it is that you are arriving.
Notice your thoughts,
Emotions,
And scan your body for any places of tension or discord.
Not looking at these as something that needs to be changed,
Instead see them as simply present in this moment and allow them to simply be just as they are.
Take a moment to bring to mind someone in your life who perhaps you feel resentment toward.
Perhaps you resent them for their success,
Their apparent ease of living,
The comforts that they enjoy.
As you consider this person or hold them in your mind's eye,
Acknowledge any tension in your body,
A clenching of muscles,
Perhaps your jaw,
A change in your breath pattern.
Simply acknowledge the presence of these signs of agitation.
Return your focus now back to your breath.
Our need to feel worthy of love and acceptance and respect.
This can be a trigger when we feel threatened in our own ability to be accepted,
To be loved,
To be found worthy.
And within us all,
There is an inborn fear of being ostracized from our community.
We are afraid of this.
Our very nature informs us that our survival,
Our ability to thrive and succeed is directly proportional to our acceptance into community,
Is a threat to our very existence and certainly to the quality of our life.
Resentment is born of fear,
The fear of not being enough.
And when we see others achieve what we feel that we are entitled to,
We might look at them with resentment.
Why them,
Not us?
Why are my needs and wants less important than theirs?
Premenet Children applies an exercise.
It's called Just Like Me.
When we see others around us experiencing the human condition,
We can sometimes think only of our differences.
But instead,
Applying the Just Like Me principle,
We know that there is actually much more in us that is similar than dissimilar.
We all want to be safe,
To be loved,
To be free from suffering,
And to thrive.
Looking up into the velvety black night,
Drinking in with awe the brilliant canopy of lights twinkling and dancing.
Does one star shine brighter than another?
Does it seem to dance and jump back and forth?
Are they not shining in their own authentic self?
And isn't this enough?
If one star should fail and die,
Does a remaining star usurp their light?
Or are they simply another light still shining and sparkling in the sky?
We mustn't waste our time envying or being jealous of or resenting the resplendent sparkling light of another star.
We are a star in our own right.
Continue to breathe in deeply,
Exhaling completely,
Breathing in and allowing your belly to swell and rise,
Exhaling,
Allowing your belly to soften and fall.
Take a moment to check in.
Notice any thoughts,
Emotions,
Or sensations in your body.
Simply acknowledge them.
Allow them to be as they are.
And return to your breath.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Resentment and anger can be born of a sense of entitlement.
Again,
Based on understanding of ego and self.
And yet none of us can know what's going on in another person's life.
We fill in as many details as we need to to support our position of resentment.
Our assumptions circle around us like a rope tightening.
We may feel wronged,
Overlooked,
Disrespected,
And oppressed.
See if you can draw to mind a moment in your life where your needs,
Wants,
And hopes seem to be set back on a back burner,
Taking second seat to someone else's needs.
You accepted a path you hadn't chosen,
Giving away your power yet again.
If they were even aware of your suffering,
They made no notice of it.
The anger of this perceived injustice done,
Adding toxic poisons to your resentment.
Had they taken away the power?
Had they taken away our choice,
Our voice to do what we needed?
Or in silence,
Did we give away agency?
Give away our power?
And in doing so,
Choose to be a victim,
Passive and angry.
A teacher of mine said that all suffering is a choice.
When we choose to hold on to the stories that we tell ourselves,
When we convince ourselves painting details into our past history to support our victimhood,
We are choosing to live in the past.
We are choosing to give away our power,
And we are choosing to allow the suffering of anger and resentment destroy us.
We cannot change the past.
Our power lies in the now,
And how we respond to each moment as it appears in our life.
What we recall of the past is faulty at best.
There is no real past to return to.
There is only now.
How will you receive this moment?
Will you release the anger and resentment that eats at you?
Will you choose to suffer?
Or will you decide,
Become determined to live your best life?
To acknowledge you cannot change the past,
But that you can become a better advocate for yourself.
Giving context to all in your life.
Giving context to the suffering that is worthy of you,
Not the suffering that is beneath you.
Let it go and be free.
Let it go and in doing so,
Choose to live a life free from suffering.
Return to your breath,
Breathing in deeply,
And exhaling everything.
Breathing in love,
Confidence,
And empathy.
Breathing out doubt and anger,
Fear.
Breathing in your worthiness to be loved,
To be respected,
To be safe,
And to be a part of this beautiful community,
This earth.
And breathe out any doubt that you shouldn't be included and invested in your own life.
May you be well.
May you know that you are loved.
May you be safe from internal and external harm.
May you choose this life in the now to be free from suffering.
