This practice is called Soften,
Support,
And Open.
This practice uses a combination of three informal practices,
And you can practice them either together or separately.
So please find a comfortable position.
Close your eyes if this is okay with you,
And take three relaxing breaths.
If you'd like,
You can place your hand on your heart,
Or give yourself another comforting gesture to remind yourself that you're here,
And you're here to bring kindness and support to yourself.
Now let yourself recall a mild to moderately difficult situation that you're experiencing in your life right now.
Perhaps a problem you're having with a friend or a parent,
Maybe someone who's in trouble that you're worried about,
Or a problem at school such as being bullied,
Left out,
Or feeling unappreciated.
It's best not to choose the most difficult problem or a tiny problem,
But choose a problem that can generate a little stress in your body when you think about it.
And remember,
Right now we're doing this only so that you can practice,
So that when these kinds of situations come up in your real life outside of formal practice,
That you'll be able to use this brief meditation.
And when you do it in the real world,
It will be brief.
Here we're stretching it out so that you can see all the different parts.
So now clearly visualize this situation.
What is this situation that's causing you some stress in your life right now?
Who's there?
What was said?
What happened?
Try to get a good image of this situation in your mind.
Now that you're thinking about this situation,
See if you can name the different emotions that arise within you.
Maybe anger or sadness,
Hurt or confusion,
Maybe fear,
Maybe loneliness or frustration,
And if a couple of emotions are arising,
See if you can name the strongest emotion,
A difficult emotion associated with that situation.
And if two or more emotions are tied for first place,
Just choose one.
You can always work with the other one another time.
Keeping the name of the emotion to yourself in a gentle,
Understanding voice,
As if you're validating for a friend what they were feeling.
That's hurt.
Or that's sadness.
Or maybe that's embarrassment.
Use the same warm tone of voice you would use if you're talking to a friend.
If you said to your friend,
Wow,
You're really feeling bad,
What tone of voice would you use?
And you can use the same tone of voice with yourself right now.
If you'd like,
You can just stop here and that's perfectly okay.
You don't need to go on to the next step.
So do so only if you're comfortable with that,
Only if you're comfortable going on to the next step.
In fact,
If at any point you're feeling upset or overwhelmed,
Feel free to simply listen to sounds,
Look out the window,
Or focus on the soles of your feet.
Now expand your awareness to your body as a whole,
Recalling the difficult situation again and scanning your body for where you feel sensations the most.
In your mind,
Sweeping your body from head to toe,
Stopping where you sense a little tension or discomfort.
Now choosing a single location in your body where the feeling seems to be the strongest.
Perhaps you notice a tense muscle or an achy feeling,
Maybe like a heartache or maybe a burning or gripping in your stomach,
In your chest or your throat.
And notice how that feels right now.
Now softening around this area where you feel the sensation in your body,
Letting the muscles soften as if applying heat to sore muscles,
Recalling the way the oobleck softened in your hands.
You can say quietly to yourself,
Soft,
Soft,
And imagine it softening just the way the oobleck let go.
Remember you're not trying to make the sensation go away,
You're just holding it softly,
Like the way you might hold a baby chick,
Very delicately and with tenderness.
If you just want to simply acknowledge the sensations are there and you don't want to work with them,
Just naming it can be helpful.
You can stop right here and don't need to go any further with the exercise.
That's totally fine.
Now if you're ready to go on,
Just offering a little support for yourself,
Just because you've been struggling in this way with this strong emotion.
Maybe putting your hand over your heart and feeling your body breathe.
Perhaps even adding some kind words such as,
This is really hard,
Or I know I'm not the only person who's ever felt this way,
Or other teens feel this way too.
Now opening to the strong emotion,
Allowing the strong emotion or sensation to be here.
Can you let go of the wish for it to go away,
Or for the feeling to want it to disappear?
This is similar to what happened when you opened your hand with the oobleck in it.
It sort of relaxed and melted a little bit,
Didn't it?
This is what we're trying to do,
Just opening up and allowing whatever feelings are there to just be here and maybe loosen a bit.
Opening your hand like when the oobleck was in it and watching it melt.
Letting it melt.
If you experience too much discomfort with an emotion,
You can always simply stay with your breath or the sounds in the room until you feel better.
It's totally fine.
These three words,
Soften,
Support,
Open,
Soften,
Support,
Open,
Can be repeated kind of like a favorite slogan or saying,
A reminder to offer yourself a little kindness and warmth in these moments of difficulty or when you're struggling.
Whenever you're ready,
You can slowly open your eyes if they've been closed.
Again,
This is soften,
Support,
Open.
This practice can be done quickly,
Just quickly going through the different steps,
Just in a moment when you're feeling upset or starting to feel anxious.
Naming the emotion,
Finding it in your body,
And then soften,
Support,
And open.
