If we are honest with ourselves about why we are here and if we dare to speak of it,
Most of us live with a dull ache that sits in the background of our life.
As if something that put our life together is ever so slightly shifted out of place or a barely detectable spot that sits on the edge of our eyes peripheral.
We can admit we have felt this dislocated emotion for as long as we can remember and seem to have unknowingly invited it to make itself at home over the years.
I have learned that the invitation it was given came from a place within me that I rarely concern myself with,
Invited because it bears a gift and while its appearance is lonely and its eyes are darkened,
If I welcomed it,
I would receive this gift,
This message.
The only time I scan the rooms inside and find no sign of it is when I am completely fascinated by the present moment I am in and the moments I am engaged fully,
Eyes wide and heart fixed.
Those are the moments the pulling ache releases its grip and withdraws into peaceful absence.
My soul has been asking me to be here,
To arrive,
To slow to a stop and bring up my gaze to the vast open space I have missed in my blurred together days,
To feel by touching what is real and alive and right in front of me.
This ache has been invited not to come into the dizzy routines and endless distractions,
But to call me out into the open with it,
For a moment in between moments,
But with my whole being and for the entirety,
To be present,
Letting what has buried me beneath such illusions that I must maintain all of this motion,
To sleep off of my shoulders like a heavy sheet of fabric,
To call in to question whether it is truly in this room of chaos that we will find the holy grail of happiness,
Fulfillment,
Or purpose,
Or if it is found by looking deeply into the tinted eyes of the uninvited guest my deepest self has sent to remind me to not look away.
Most days we can admit we no longer feel our happiness will come from the unending pursuit of the things that do not breathe or speak life into our days,
And even though we cannot seem to catch what it promises,
It's as if we continue to wager our time in hopes that the water will stop slipping between our fingers.
We look everywhere but where we stand,
And it has been waiting here,
In the every single,
And in the simple,
And it rests like fog in every room we can shift our gaze unto what gave us breath,
And it waits,
Like patience itself,
For our focus to settle through the static and to rest.
There is a depth in you where your happiness lives alive and well,
Sitting with you now,
And has never left you.
Give yourself a moment for you to remember that,
And arrive here,
To stop crawling out of your skin and be anywhere else,
Where you are not attempting to see over the wall of what is here,
Real,
And now,
To see into some ideal or future that keeps you hollow.
Watch as your energy settles into this room and shifts the environment around and within you.
Feel the relief of being back home as it floods places you have never been able to touch.
Feel the warmth that cascades over the surfaces and through the soul.
Watch as the urge to leave,
Ignore,
Busy,
And reanimate the illusion that enchants you,
Loosens its power,
As you settle feet,
Heart,
And mind together in one space into this one moment of allowance for only you to be here.
Surrendered,
Arrived,
Into the body and life you are truly living.
In this place,
Happiness will overwhelm and saturate every wall inside and out,
Lifting,
Filling,
Floating,
And carrying you into deeper connection and understanding that presides over the wants,
The needs,
And the addiction to our collecting of what is lifeless and quickly stales.
We seldom dip our awareness into our depths,
And this is how our happiness is so easily misplaced and how we so quickly return to a battle against our starvation.
We do not see the wellspring of happiness within us because we do not bother to look beneath the things that keep us fed but malnourished.
In these rare moments we are aware of our gift,
That we have access to the absolute depths of us,
This place within that is gentle,
Nourishing,
Deeply connected,
And unconditionally loving so much that every pain,
Worry,
Or fear is instantly swallowed by simply passing the doorway and stepping into her.
She knows,
She speaks,
She carries,
She is ever present and fully awake.
No matter how far beyond the depths we travel,
Into the wilderness and astray,
She knows how to find you and how to guide you back to yourself.
If we can promise to give ourselves just moments of this at a time,
To step forward once,
And once more,
We will find ourselves walking effortlessly in step with the depths of our wholeness.
Take a deep breath in,
Deeper than you normally do,
Filling your lungs with vitality and clarity,
And breathe out fully and fuller still,
Moving out all the dormant air that rests inside you.
Breathe in again,
Fully and completely,
Breathe out fully and completely.
Breathe in fully,
Breathe out completely,
And place both hands over your heart and say to yourself,
I am home,
I am home here and nowhere else.
I am awake to myself.
I am whole and connected to myself.
I am awake.
Watch what starts to come alive in you from everywhere,
Without asking.
This is your ability,
Available to you in every moment.
You have the freedom to bring your soul into the space you reside in,
To allow the depths of your being to guide you through life,
Solely relying,
Trusting,
And knowing in it to be more than you will ever need.
The more you arrive,
The more your joy becomes your foundation.
Your presence is your happiness.
You hold the power of creation,
The power to change,
The power to heal.
When the present moment is loved,
And you allow yourself to fully be here,
Watch what meets you in this place.
It came from within you,
Not given from somewhere else,
But given from within.
Slowly and freely comes to confirm you,
And shower you with the gift of your life and your power to truly live in it.
And take a deep cleansing breath in,
Affirming the connection you have made.
Breathe out now,
Bonding it to your awareness.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes to the room.
