Hello,
Beautiful soul.
This is an unsent letter to my estranged brothers.
I am done pretending this does not hurt.
Your silence has been louder than any argument we ever had.
It has echoed through hospital appointments,
Through nights when pain kept me awake,
Through days when I wondered how I became so easy to discard.
Do you have any idea what it feels like to be alive and treated as if you don't exist?
I live with physical pain every single day.
It reshapes my world,
My energy,
My future,
And through all of that,
What has hurt deeper is knowing that my own brothers can look away.
No call,
No message,
No effort,
Just absence.
And you may tell yourselves stories about why this is justified.
Maybe it makes you more comfortable to believe I am dramatic,
Difficult,
Or not worth the trouble.
Maybe indifference is easier than accountability.
But I was your sister.
Not perfect,
Not simple,
But yours.
And I did not deserve to be erased.
And what hurts most is not even what happened between us,
It's the complete lack of care.
The way my suffering seems to have no weight in my world.
It tells me something painful,
That my heart matters less than your comfort.
I will not beg for crumbs anymore.
I will not keep sugarcoating the truth so you can feel less responsible.
Your silence has consequences.
It changed how I see family.
It changed how safe I feel in the world.
It changed something fundamental.
Still building a life inside a body that asks more of me than most people will ever understand.
And you may never acknowledge what this estrangement has done.
You may never reach out.
And this is your choice.
But I'm done carrying shame for a distance I did not create alone.
And if you wonder why I ever stopped trying,
Know that I did not stop first.
Your sister.
Still standing.
And I release the need to be chosen by those who will not choose me.
Namaste.
