
Forgiveness: The Freedom Of Letting The Heart Breathe
by Jay Chodagam
Forgiveness is not about forgetting or excusing—it’s about freeing the heart from what it no longer needs to carry. In this Sunday Morning Joy With Jay, we gather as the Soul Tribe to explore forgiveness as a sacred act of release, compassion, and self-love. Through soothing chants, heart-opening breathwork, and a gentle meditation, we’ll create space for what’s ready to soften, loosen, and heal. The dharma talk will invite reflection on forgiveness as a path back to inner peace—one that begins within and ripples outward into our relationships and the world. Come with whatever feels heavy, tender, or unresolved. You don’t have to force forgiveness—only to listen for where grace is already present. Together, we allow the heart to breathe again and remember the quiet strength that lives on the other side of letting go.
Transcript
The Freedom of Letting the Heart Breathe I'm going to begin with an ancient story from the East.
Long,
Long time ago,
There were two monks who were traveling together.
It was the monsoon season.
Heavy rain had just ended.
The road was dissolved into mud.
The river they needed to cross was overflowing.
As the monks arrived at the bank,
They saw a young woman.
She was wearing fine clothes and she was standing there,
Unable to step into the water.
She was scared.
So one of the monks lifted her gently,
Carried her across,
And set her down on the other side.
And the two monks then continued their journey in silence.
A couple of hours had passed,
And then the second monk spoke.
His voice was tight with disapproval.
He said,
We are not permitted to touch a woman,
You know.
How could you break your vow in such a way?
To that,
The first monk looked at him and with kindness in his eyes said,
Brother,
I set her down on the river bank two hours ago.
Why are you still carrying her?
And so it is with us.
We carry moments that have already ended.
We carry words that were spoken years ago.
We carry faces,
Disappointments,
Betrayals,
Misunderstandings.
Long after,
Life itself has moved on.
Not because we were meant to suffer,
But because the heart has not learned that it is allowed to set them down.
Today,
We gather here not to force forgiveness,
Not to make ourselves noble or spiritual,
But to notice the weight we were never meant to carry.
And know what it's to feel like when you let the heart breathe again.
So,
Dear ones,
If you haven't already done so,
I invite you to gently close your eyes and allow your body to be at ease.
Let the spine be dignified,
Yet unforced.
You could be doing this practice seated,
Cross-legged on the floor,
Sitting on a chair,
Or even lying down.
Let the hands rest wherever they feel natural.
I want you to feel the miracle of just being here.
Nothing to solve,
Nothing to improve,
And nothing to fix.
You are not here to become someone else.
You are here to return.
You are here to enter a vast inner temple.
This temple has no walls.
It is made of presence.
It is made of awareness.
It is made of the quiet witnessing that has been with you your entire life.
In this space,
Everything is allowed to be seen.
Nothing is judged.
Nothing is pushed away.
At the center of this temple is your heart.
I'm not talking about the physical organ,
But the subtle heart.
The place where memory,
Longing,
And love all live together.
In the sacred space,
You may begin to notice that that heart has been holding stones,
Some small,
Some ancient.
Each stone carries a story.
Perhaps a moment you were not understood.
A time when you weren't chosen.
A word that cut deeper than it should have.
A way you wish you had been treated.
Or a way you wish you had treated someone else.
I tell you not to analyze.
Just notice.
You are not being asked to throw these stones away.
You're only being invited to feel how heavy they are.
Feel what it has cost the heart to keep them carrying them.
Forgiveness begins not as an action,
But as an honesty.
This is heavy.
Now imagine that awareness itself,
Your deeper self,
Is sitting besides your heart.
Not trying to change it.
Not giving advice.
Just present.
Like a vast sky sitting besides a small,
Tired traveler.
Let this presence look at the stones with infinite compassion.
You're not asking why you're still holding this.
But let there be whispers.
Of course this was hard to carry.
Of course this hurt.
Of course you tried to protect yourself.
Feel the difference?
Forgiveness is not the mind saying it didn't matter.
Forgiveness is the heart hearing it mattered.
And you don't have to hold it alone anymore.
There is nothing you need to force.
Forgiveness is not an achievement.
It is a softening that happens when the heart feels safe.
So dear one,
Simply sit.
Let the stones be seen in the light of compassion.
And as you notice,
Some of them are already beginning to loosen.
Not because you are strong.
But because you are no longer alone with them.
If it feels natural,
Allow the image of someone to arise with whom there is still a contraction.
Don't choose the most difficult person.
Let the heart choose what is ready.
See them at a distance.
Not as the role they played in your life,
But as a human being who,
Like you,
Had known confusion,
Fear,
And longing.
This does not excuse.
This does not justify.
It simply sees.
Say silently if it feels true.
I release you from my inner courtroom.
I no longer need to replay the story.
I return your path to you.
And I return my heart to myself.
Notice forgiveness is not for them.
It is the moment you stop drinking the poison.
That poison that you were hoping would reach someone else.
It is the moment the chain between your heart and that memory dissolves.
And in that dissolving,
Space appears.
Breath appears.
Life appears.
Now let the attention turn inward.
The place where you have been most unforgiving is often towards yourself.
Bring to mind something you still hold against your own heart.
A choice.
A delay.
A mistake.
A version of yourself you have not allowed to be loved.
See that younger self standing before you.
Not as someone to be corrected,
But as someone who did the best they could with the level of consciousness they had at that moment.
Walk toward them.
Place your hands on their shoulders.
And let these words arise from the depth of your being.
I did not know then what I know now.
I am allowed to be human.
I welcome you back into my heart.
Feel what happens when the war within begins to end.
Now imagine the heart itself.
With every stone that is gently set down,
The space inside it grows.
As if windows are opening.
Fresh air is entering.
Light is touching places that have been closed for years.
The heart begins to breathe.
This breathing heart is your natural state.
Not armored.
Not defended.
Not rehearsing old conversations.
Just alive.
Just open.
Just here.
Rest in this spaciousness.
It requires no effort.
No technique.
Nothing to carry.
This is the innocence that was always beneath the story.
This is the quiet strength that lives on the other side of letting go.
I forgive not to change the past,
But to give my heart a future.
I release what I no longer need to carry.
And I return to the vastness of who I am.
My heart is free to breathe,
To love,
To begin again.
As we bring this practice to a close,
Allow one question to echo through your inner temple.
If I am no longer defined by what I have been holding,
Who am I?
If I am no longer defined by what I have been holding,
Who am I?
I want you to please bring your palms together in prayer position at your heart center,
Anjani Mudra.
Gently tuck your chin towards the heart space in a posture of gratitude for what we have received.
I want you to rub your palms against each other to kindle the chi,
The prana,
The life force.
And then go ahead and cup your eyes,
One with each palm,
And bless yourself.
I am truly blessed.
I attract amazing people into my life.
I attract wealth.
I welcome great ideas.
I welcome amazing opportunities.
I am guided by love.
I give everywhere I go,
Even if it's only a smile.
My abundance overflows to those around me.
I love my life.
I am the M in magic.
I am unstoppable.
I welcome wealth into my life at the intersection of light and matter.
I welcome wealth into my life as life-giving life and life-sustaining life.
I welcome wealth into my life as a manifestation of truth,
Goodness,
And beauty in this world.
Never so gently bringing your palms back together in prayer position at your heart center.
I thank you for joining me in this practice today.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
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