This is a meditation to help you safely manage anger.
Anger is a normal human emotion.
We all feel it at times.
And during the time of this pandemic,
Many of us have been experiencing it more frequently.
Sometimes,
If someone does something that really annoys us,
Anger can grab us and we can react in a way we later regret.
We don't need to suppress our anger.
And in fact,
It's not healthy for us to suppress it.
But there are healthier ways to deal with it once the anger flame is lit.
The first step is noticing the anger.
So let's do a short mindfulness exercise.
Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and settle into your chair or cushion.
If it feels comfortable,
Close your eyes.
I'd like you to think back to a situation when you last felt anger.
And maybe in that situation,
You didn't deal with it in the way you would have liked to.
You might have lashed out angrily or suppressed your anger angrily,
Feeling it boiling up inside,
Feeling your blood pressure rising and rising.
Now think back to this moment and drop down into your body.
And just for a moment,
Notice what you're feeling in your body.
There could be a tightness in your jaw,
In your neck,
Your shoulders,
Your chest or your stomach.
Now,
Underneath the anger,
You might feel sadness,
Frustration or grief.
You might even feel like crying.
Just allow yourself to notice without judgment,
Whatever is there.
You might be having thoughts of,
Oh,
He is so hard to work with,
Or she is so annoying,
Or he never listens to me,
Or your thought might be,
She has this idea about me that is just not true.
Just notice whatever comes up for you.
When we hold on tightly to anger,
Our blood pressure rises,
Our bodies tense,
And we are the ones who end up getting hurt.
Now,
As you notice the sensations in your body,
Drop right down to the place where you feel it the strongest.
Really zero in on that area.
Get curious about it.
Breathe into this area deeply for the next 5 to 10 breaths.
And while you're doing this,
If it feels comfortable to do so,
On every out breath,
You can softly breathe out through pursed lips with your lips slightly open,
Letting all the tension out for the next 5 to 10 breaths.
Now,
Place a gentle hand over the part of your body where you're feeling it the strongest.
Imagine that this hand is the hand of someone kind and caring.
The kind and caring person can be someone you know,
Or it can be a spiritual figure that you respect,
Or it can even be a beloved pet.
Allow yourself to breathe deeply into the hand,
Feeling the kindness radiating into your body.
You might even let this kind hand speak some words of compassion to you.
The words might be something like,
This is really hard right now.
Or,
Anyone in this situation would probably feel like this.
Or,
I can't change the other person,
But I can respond by walking away,
Just taking a break from them,
Or doing something nice for myself.
There's no right or wrong answer here,
Just see whatever comes up for you.
Now,
As your breathing has softened and slowed,
Step into the other person's shoes.
Just for a moment,
See things from their perspective.
You might find that they might be having a tough time right now.
Now,
This doesn't excuse their behavior,
But seeing things from their perspective can sometimes make us feel more compassionate towards them.
And this can remind us that if they are in a vulnerable position,
Where they are being difficult with us,
It's very important for us to compassionately and kindly hold our boundaries around them,
To protect ourselves.
Maybe we can decide to see them a little less,
Or engage less with them via phone or social media.
Or if we're feeling particularly triggered by them.
When we slow down and connect with our bodies and our breath,
This might give us the time and space to be able to say in the moment with them,
I'm sorry,
I'm just going to step out for a moment,
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.
Or something similar to that.
Keep breathing,
Doing another 5 to 10 breaths.
And as you're doing this,
Let your hand come back down and rest on your lap.
While you're doing these breaths,
If it feels comfortable,
Place a half smile on your mouth.
Again,
Notice how your body feels now.
Has there been any softening or easing of tension?
When we practice and exercise regularly like this,
It can help us tune in more quickly to our bodies when someone or something angers us.
It can then allow us to stop or pause and respond more wisely,
Rather than reacting in a way we later regret.
Now as we come to the end of this exercise,
Congratulate yourself for taking this time for you.
And if anger is a real problem for you,
Set yourself an intention to revisit this exercise regularly.
