Droplet Number 3

A common sense antidote. Graham relates a personal story that illustrates a common situation which often leads to conflict in a relationship.. If familiarity breeds contempt in a relationship, this might help. It's very simple, and not at all complicated and only take a couple of minutes to fill you full of wisdom.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Graham Dexter with a short droplet of wisdom,

I call it,

Setting the climate.

Relationships can be tricky,

Especially ones which are long term and intimate.

Some of you will have heard that familiarity breeds contempt,

And I'm afraid this can be true.

Sadly,

As we become familiar with our friends and loved ones,

We can,

If we're not very careful,

Begin to take their tolerance and kindness for granted.

Here's a true personal story which illustrates this,

And hopefully it will forewarn you as it certainly did for me.

To put you in the picture,

I've been happily married to Janice for over 30 years.

I love her dearly,

And in my conscious and alert mind,

I would do nothing to offend or upset her.

Sadly,

Sometimes I operate my voice without engaging my conscious sensibilities.

I want to keep this close relationship alive,

Fresh and thriving,

And yet because we live in each other's pockets,

It can make thoughtless dialogue demanding and damaging to harmony.

It certainly sometimes takes more than casual thought.

Anyway,

Without further digression,

The story goes like this.

As on many occasions,

This one day I was sitting in the passenger seat while Janice was driving.

Naturally,

As I am a mere mortal,

I was doing what most mortal men do in this situation.

I was supervising her driving.

Oh for goodness sake,

Be careful,

Don't get too close to the gutter,

Don't you think you'd be better with your lights on?

After a while of suffering this ridiculous supervision,

My clever wife reminded me that she was a good driver,

That in fact she had never,

Unlike me,

Had had an accident.

I wasn't supervising her when she took her driving test.

I managed perfectly well to go from A to B,

Perfectly safely,

When you aren't beside me in the car.

And finally she reminded me that I had elected to be driven by her.

As a reasonably sensitive man,

This was enough to quiet my immediate supervision.

However,

The very best thing she said,

Which constantly resounds in my head was,

I wonder if you would ever use that tone to a complete stranger?

I surrendered to the logic and now I remember to at least be as civil and as respectful to my lovely clever wife as I would a complete stranger.

I recommend this to you as a complete antidote to unwitting contemptuous familiarity.

It's really worth remembering.

Thanks for listening to this Droplet of Wisdom.

Reviews

I'm guilty of this myself. A timely reminder of something I've already actioned only recently though.
Thank you.

This was very helpful since I’m sure we all do this. I use this sometimes to speak to myself about how I treat myself so why not my spouse?

Love your "droplets"! Your self-critical, but always appreciative, compassionate and humorous manner - so much to learn from! Thanks to you and your clever wife for sharing your insights here!🥰

A wonderful droplet of wisdom!💧💛 Thank you for this great reminder 🙏

Beautiful and practical stories that highlight values to keep in mind. Thank you.

It's timely that this popped up. It's a great reminder to hold my tongue with those I love.

:) :) SO TRUE my Mum does exactly this every time I'm driving and would never 'out loud' do this to a friend....it actually stops me concentrating and probably is detrimental to me driving very safely as I normally do ;) Glad to hear you are a S.N.A.G. 😊
Edit: SENSITIVE NEW AGE GUY😉

Really appreciate this. I need to hear this today. Thank you! 🕊️

Wow! Way to make a point in so little time. Droplet indeed…profound wisdom in that little nugget. This resonated.

Thank you for sharing this wisdom fact with us all
🪢Njoy🪢 your marriage

Wow. I need to remember and practice this! Thank you. 😘

Unwitting contemptuous familiarity…
. Brilliant insight -thank you!

Thank you such a common occurrence in my relationship🙏

Well done! We Aprecciate the wisdom! Gave us a giggle(married 40 years & going strong)!
Thank-you💕

A very valuable and wise advice. Especially valid for British culture where being polite to strangers is in the DNA of the nation.

I did laugh as I am often subject to this sort of supervision from my husband. And was able to reflect that I supervise him when he is cleaning! This is a good reminder to show respect even though we've been together so many years. Thank you 😊

Thanks for that spot on reminder!!! Mindfulness goes a long way 🙏🥰

Clever and kind she is; wise and thoughtful of you to admit the point. I admire the demonstration of respect for each other that you convey here. Beautifully expressed. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this wisdom droplet within your personal story. It is indeed timeless and indispensable wisdom for us "more mortals." : -)

Too true. Both myself and my other half have been guilty of this.. thankyou .